My Friends are Trying to kill Me
Dear Journal,
Yo journal, it's me, BeastBoy. I know I haven't written in ya for some time but now I gotta. I can only tell you this because the walls have eyes. Dude, you might not believe it but I think my friends are trying to take me out. You know, end me, send me up the creek without a paddle, send me to the great beyond, throw my unmoving body in a dumpster somewhere, any other metaphor I can think of. (It might be simile though) In other words, kill me! No, now I know what your thinking and they haven' come right out and said it or done anything but if ya put the clues together you can see that they really are trying to kill me. I might be better if I tell you the clues though. All right, lets start from when it all began, which was like this morning.
Okay, I was just getting up from this great dream about me finally having a moped and the girls were all crazy for me (when ain't they). Anyhow I woke up and it was about 11:25 so I decided to get me some breakfast. I was glad I woke up so late 'cause Cy wouldn't be cooking breakfast if he hadn't already so I wouldn't have to see him eating all those animals that be on his plate (shudders). You know, I'm not even in my uniform or nothing. Crime's been pretty low so we've had time to relax, even though Robin was gonna have us doing combat practice sooner or later. So I'm like in an undershirt and some baggy pants. I didn't realize that this would be my downfall. Like I was saying I was just come out my room when Starfire comes flying by, going like, a million miles an hour or something! If I had my uniform on I could morphed into mouse or something and dodged but the clothes made it hard. All I see is a lot of red and then nothing. When I woke up I saw Starfire standing over me with a worried look on her face, (but it was all a ploy! I know it!).
"Friend BeastBoy, are you okay? I did not even notice you." she asked me
Yeah, I'm pretty sure of that and no, I wasn't okay. My head was ringing and everything but I saw that look on her face and couldn't tell her, so I didn't.
"Yeah Star, I'm fine. But what's the rush. Is it another of your crazy holidays?" I ask
"Well, no, actually. I was in hurry because I am almost late more a previous engagement." She told me
Engagement? Now I was curious but I didn't figure out until now that this 'engagement' was code for 'secret meeting to plot BeastBoy's demise'. But since I was clueless at the time I asked her what the engagement was.
"Oh...I am meeting with Robin for an outing." she replied and I sorta noticed some redness on her face
Now I'm wondering what this 'outing' is, so I continue, thinking it's something else.
"Robin got you training again don't he?" I ask
Robin's been doing that for some time now, just him and Star. Cy thought they was dating but we sorta...followed them and found out they were just training outside.
"Actually friend. This is not a training outing as before. But I truly must be going." she told me, now her face was really red
Now people call me stupid and sometimes I don't get certain things but I could see what she was talking about.
"You aren't...going out with him, are you?" I ask, knowing what the answer was already
She sorta put her hands on her face and started to giggle like all the girls I see on TV or that be ogling Robin sometimes (They don't ogle me 'cause I'm so good-looking they know it wouldn't even come close to giving me justice).
"Yes friend!" she said, way too happy for me "You have found me out. That is what I am planning to do." she said "Please thought, you must not tell the others. They would say the tauntings and might make Robin check the rain for a later date.
My brain sorta crashed when I heard 'check the rain for a later date'. What did dating have to do with checking the rain? Then it came back online when I realized she meant a 'rain check'
"Oh..." I mumbled, "Sure, I won't tell nobody." I tell her, but I was lying.
I was so gonna tell Cy. But then she said something that made me not want to.
"You must promise BeastBoy. Should Cyborg find out many bad things could happen. You do not want bad things to happen, do you?" she asked me, her face was all close to mind
That was a threat! She was threatening me! She didn't want me to find out about this 'date' because she didn't want me to find out that my friends were trying to kill me!
"Uh...sure, I promise." I say, putting my hand up my heart and swearing
"Oh thank you friend!" she cheered and did what she usually did when she was happy
She grabbed me and started squeezing and I was sure I heard my ribs popping. She didn't let go for a long time (that's because she wanted me all weak so that I wouldn't be able to defend myself). When she finally did let go I remembered just how much I loved air.
"Goodbye friend!" she called, racing down the hall at full speed.
Now look journal, I barely survived that little encounter and I still wanted breakfast so I started down the hall, this time looking to see if Starfire might rush back down it like if she forgot her purse or something (or to finish the job). So anyway I finally make it down to the kitchen and nobody was inside (or so I thought) so I decided to make breakfast. You know tofu was the choice and it didn't take long to make. So I'm sitting down ready to eat breakfast when Cyborg comes walking in. Actually he was hiding under the counter. He had to have been! So he walks over to the stove and starts the heat and I know he's about to cook some meat so I jump from my seat about to protest. I was not about to let him eat another innocent animal!
"No way Cy, not today, you're not eating meat!" I yell and lunge at him
That's when he attacks me with the skillet. But he says that he was listening to his I-pod and hadn't heard me until I said 'meat' and when he turned around the skillet just happened to hit me in the face! (A likely story) That frying pan hurts like a mother, I'm telling you dude. When I woke up from my head trauma I got Cy looking down at me, still holding the weapon in his hand. He must have been trying to finish me off but when he saw me wake up he backed off.
"Yo little man, you alright?" he asks
No way dude. I just got hit in the head with a frying pan. I'm lucky my head is so tough or I might have had serious head problems. But you know, I was still clueless so I say I'm alright.
"I'm fine dude." I tell him
"Why did you jump into the way of the skillet?" he asked
"'Cause you were about to eat some meat." I told him
"No I wasn't." he told me "I was just preparing some for later."
He told me that he wasn't gonna eat the meat until later. He just wanted to beat his meat...maybe I should rephrase that. He wanted to grind up some meat into some ground beef.
"Why you got that skillet then?" I ask
"I was about to melt some butter for cause I want some popcorn with butter." he replies
"Oh..." I say
"Want some?" he asks
"Nah, I'm good." I tell him and he helps me up
"Well okay man, got to go melt me some butter and beat my meat." He tells me
...I hope I don't write that anymore. So I get to breakfast while Cyborg melts his butter and beats...er...grinds up some meat for ground beef. About halfway through my breakfast, Raven walks in, reading one of her big books and not paying attention to nothing else. Cyborg's still listening to his I-pod so I'm the only one who notices her coming in.
"Hey Raven!" I call
"Hello BeastBoy." she says
I should have noticed it then and there! Raven never says hello to me in the morning! She either grunts, snorts, or ignores me! Raven was being all nice because she was in cahoots with the others. She might even be the ringleader! But I was still clueless so I continued.
"How are you?" I ask
"Fine, and you?" she asks
Okay, now I was starting to freak out. Raven never asked me if I was okay. Like I said she either grunts, snorts, and/or ignores me. But that wasn't even the freakiest part. What she said next really scared me!
"I'm fine." I told her
"That's nice." She said
Okay! Raven never ever, ever used those two words in a sentence after I told her I was fine! Something was seriously up. Why wasn't she grunting, snorting, and/or ignoring me? That's when I started thinking something else was going on. So I asked her.
"Uh...Raven...you alright?" I ask
"I am fine." She said, "Why do you ask?" she asked
"No reason...just wondering."
Now you may be thinking. Raven hasn't outright tried to kill me yet but I know why. She's lying in wait and is gonna get me when I least expect it. Oh...she's good. But the others aren't. Like when Robin and Star got back from their 'date' (if that is what you will call it). Robin ordered a combat practice and it was one of the ones where we need to learn to defend ourselves without using our powers. So we were all teaming up and guess who gets stuck sparring with Robin? Me, of course. It was all part of their plan 'cause the others snuck out a little afterwards. They wanted to mess me up and they knew that Robin was the only one who could.
"Okay BeastBoy, this is a simple move. Just try and grab me." He told me
"Sure dude." I said
I would never know that those two words would lead to such pain.
"Here I come!" I yelled
So I went to grab him but he grabbed my wrist and twisted it around. Before I knew it I was in the air spinning and crashed landed into the wall. Once again, everything went black. When I came to Robin was standing over me. He looked worried but that was only masking the joy he must have felt when he threw me.
"You okay BeastBoy?" he asked
That was like the third time someone asked me that. I was not okay! I head really hurt then but I didn't say anything. I was just to clueless to see what was going on.
"I'm okay...just a little dizzy." I told him
"Have to be more careful of that BeastBoy. But you see now just how effective that move can be." he said
"Yeah, remind me of that the next time I'm mad at the wall." I joked
Not sure if Robin got it or not but he did sorta grin. But he was still trying to kill me! That's because we went at it again, and again, and again. Let's just say I was introduced to the entire room that day. But he didn't kill me, nope. But now they're getting desperate. Like during the rest of the day they've been going in and out the tower real secret like. Not telling me why or how long they are going to be out. And they always come back in with all these bags. They're torture devices. They don't just want to kill me they want to watch me suffer! They're evil I tell you! And now today, they're really secretive now. They want to put an end to me now! They want to get me! But I won't let them! I'm going right now and I'm going to stop them before they stop me. This may be my last entry journal, so if I don't make it I want you to have my comic book collection. Take care of them for me, especially issues 1 and 2 or Pretty Pony. (Those are some rare comics) So hear I go!
(Third-person perspective)
With his mind set on confronting his friends, or so they called themselves as he thought, BeastBoy secretly made his way down the hall. He knew the others were in the common room because he had saw them go in and out of that room the most today, carrying the 'torture' devices in large bags. Everything had become very quiet now and BeastBoy surmised that the Titans were ready to finish him off. BeastBoy was not about to go down without a fight, so when the doors to the common room opened BeastBoy was ready for anything they might throw at him. All except for what he actually got.
"Surprise!" the Titans yelled
Well...three of them anyway.
"Ahh!" BeastBoy yelled, involuntarily morphing into a cat and clinging to the ceiling, shaking as if he had been dunked into freezing cold water
"Payback." Raven chuckled
BeastBoy looked around and saw that the 'torture' devices were actually party decorations and big banner hung from the ceiling. He couldn't tell what the banner was saying because he was upside down at the moment but he was able to make out '! yoBtsaeB yadhtriB yppaH'. With his expertise at speaking backwards he figured out the banner said 'Happy Birthday BeastBoy!'
"Birthday?" he wondered
Let his claws relax BeastBoy let go of the ceiling and fell to the floor. Only inches from the ground he spun around and landed on his feet with ease.
"Dude, love being a cat." he thought
Morphing back to his human form he could see that his friends were wearing party hats, even Raven, though she didn't look too happy about it.
"Yo B, happy Birthday kid." Cyborg told him
"Yes friend, Happy Anniversary of Your Birth." came Starfire "As customary you are to wear the crown of meat, but because you detest meat you may wear this substitute." she said, handing him a crown that looked a lot like it was made of tofu
"Didn't actually think we'd be able to pull it off though. Glad we had Robin here to keep ya busy while we got the stuff for the party." Cyborg commented
"So Robin threw me across the room cause he kept me distracted?" BeastBoy asked
"Yep, a little after he got back with Star, after she met him earlier to help with some of the supplies." Cyborg told him
"So Star, you weren't going on date with Robin?" BeastBoy asked
"No. I am sorry that I did the fibbing, but I did not want your surprise to be ruined. I hope you forgive me."
"And Cy, you really were just melting butter?" BeastBoy asked
"Well yeah. Told you, I was making popcorn." he replied, pointing over to a bowl of the stuff on the coffee table
The bowl itself was as big as Cyborg, brimming with the golden popped kernels.
"But what about Raven? She was being strangely nice to me!" he accused
"It is your birthday simpleton. Even I would respect you on this day...sorta."
"But how did you..."
"Find out?" Raven finished "You are not the only one who can hack into the secret files of the Titan's Mainframe." she told him
"Oh..." he mumbled "Then this was all for my party?"
"Yeah, what did you expect? That we were plotting you demise?" she asked absentminded
"Uh...be right back." he said, racing off into the hallway
The other Titans looked on as he made his way toward his room.
"Weird." Raven commented
(Back in Journal)
Dear Journal,
Forget everything I just said! Bye!
Splitting a BeastBoy
The Teen Titans, protectors of Jump City. Each has their own special ability that allows them to combat the evil forces that threaten the peace. One of these protectors has the ability to morph into any animal, no matter the shape or size. A reliable power in any respect but a power that can be easily abused should the wielder grow greedy.
"Sooooooooooo bored!" whined the resident shape-shifter
The young boy known as BeastBoy had a difficult time when it came to being all alone. If he didn't have human interaction for a great length of time he grew bored. But today, there was nobody to hang out with. Cyborg went to a little leagues came to be the umpire (and to get all the free hotdogs); Starfire had dragged Robin out to the mall to watch a movie. Something about two teenagers that can't admit the love they have for one another or something. And Raven was holed up in her room and explicitly told BeastBoy not to bother her or she would do things to him that he could not imagine. BeastBoy was not sure how to take that but he decided it would be best to not test it. With everyone busy he had nobody to be around. That was not a good thing for him. In this state he is known to do something he would later regret, destroying something by mistake or get kidnapped by aliens; the sky was the limit with this boy.
"There's gotta be something I can do?" he thought, rummaging through his room
But the trash heap that was his room was devoid of anything that would preoccupy his time for a long period of time so that didn't go over well. BeastBoy's biggest concern was that he had nobody to talk to. He'd go bored out of his mind if he didn't talk to someone soon. He thought about himself but, talking to your own self is a sure sign of insanity.
"I'm not crazy...but maybe I can talk to myself." He thought
Always the curious sole the boy decided that trying out this thought couldn't be that bad of an idea. With his mindset he closed his eyes and almost instantly disappeared from sight. The room now had one less BeastBoy to the naked eye. But under a powerful microscope BeastBoy was still in the room, in ameba form. For several seconds BeastBoy concentrated and soon his small ameba body grew in size, its shape-less, one-celled body growing to twice its original size. Then without a thought it split into two amebas that in all ways were exactly the same. Then just as fast as he disappeared BeastBoy reappeared but this time with a guest, himself!
"Dude." they both said at the same time
The two BeastBoy's circled one another before another word uttered from their lips.
"Cool."
The features of both boys were to the mark. From the green skin to the pointed ears to the fang that poked from his mouth. Everything was exactly the same. Not a difference in sight. But that was only physically, mentally was an entirely different story.
"So...you're like, me?" BeastBoy One asked
"Uh...yeah." replied BeastBoy Two as if it were everyday news
"Wow, this is totally cool." came BeastBoy One
"Well yeah, the only thing better than BeastBoy is another BeastBoy." Replied BeastBoy Two
"We're like brothers or something." came the first one
"Yeah, you could say that, but I'm the better looking one." came the second
"Better looking? How, we look the same."
"Maybe, but I can flaunt it." he said, "Always could."
"How, you were just born from me?"
"How do you know I was born from you? Maybe you were born from me, huh? Ever thought of that?"
"I...uh...um..."
"Thought so." Replied the second "Now if ya excuse me I'm gonna go out and give the ladies a piece of BeastBoy." he told himself
"No way dude, we can't be seen like this! One BeastBoy is good enough!" wailed the first
"Then stay here. I'll go out and you can vegetate in the room." The second advised
"Vegetating is the reason I made you in the first place!" he squealed
"Or I made you." the other replied
"I...I...I hate you."
"Thank you."
Slapping himself in the head the first BeastBoy tried to make sense of the situation.
"Maybe making another me wasn't such a hot idea." He muttered
"Nah, I think it was smokin'." came two voices
"Wah!" he squealed
Currently the first was now looking at two other exact copies of himself, standing right there in front of him!
"What did you do!" BeastBoy demanded
"Well I was getting bored with you so I decided to make someone I could actually talk to but he's just as boring as you." the second replied
"Hey, I resent that!" came the third BeastBoy
"I can't help it if I'm the most social of the three." came the second
"There wasn't suppose to be three!" yelled the first
Then came a knock of his door.
"BeastBoy?" asked a voice
"Oh crap, it's Raven. If she sees three me's she'll...don't wanna think about it."
"What are you yelling about? Are you talking to yourself? I hope you haven't lost it." She asked
"No, I'm okay! Nothing to worry about!" he told her, his voice cracking
"Right...but just to be on the safe side I think we should talk or something. I just don't want you losing what's left of your marbles." She told him
He could already see the black swirl that was Raven's powers slowly encasing the door and it wouldn't be long before she phased through.
"Crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, CRAP!" BeastBoy One yelled in his mind
Then he looked at his two copies.
"You two gotta hide!" he yelled as quietly as he could
"But I don't wa..."
"Now!" he screeched
"Fine." they both snorted
Just as Raven stepped in they were gone. Looking around the empath grimaced at the sight of his room but quickly pushed that thought aside for more pressing matters.
"I am only going to ask once. Do you have any other creature in here that you thought would make a good pet?" she asked
"Uh...no." he replied
"Right...mind if I take a look around?" she asked
"Well..."
She glared at him and he realized it was not a request but an order.
"Go right ahead." he quickly replied
"Thank you."
Glancing to and fro Raven moved much around on her search to see what BeastBoy was hiding. Her powers tossed things side-to-side on her search, carefully looking in each nook and cranny. The bed was lifted into the air and the things under it were sorted as she looked around. The closet was blown open and the clothes that were stuff inside were individually searched for any sign of life. Piles of things were lifted and set back down after inspection and the cracked desk was levitated in the air to check its contents. However, after a few seconds of searching, she came up empty handed. Nothing seemed to be alive in his room at sight, though that mold inside the pizza box was pretty suspicious.
"Well, either that mold has grown to sentient levels your you are just acting like your normal self. Either way there is nothing to worry about." She said, heading back out his door
As she phased through, her back to him, he breathed out, glad that his secret was not discovered. But as he did so she turned her head back to face him, her eyes narrowing on him.
"But should I find out that you are hiding anything in here that you shouldn't, just know that the results will not be pleasant, for you." she told him before she was gone
"(Gulp) That was close."
"Nah, that was nasty." replied BeastBoy Two
"What he said." replied the third
The two other BeastBoy's were wiping mold from their clothes after reappearing from nothingness.
"Okay, you two need to get back into me before someone finds out what happened."
"No way dude. Gonna go out."
"Out! You can't!"
"Watch me."
And with that he opened the door and prepared to venture out in the world. But he stopped in his tracks when he saw a roadblock to the world in his way. The roadblock known as Raven.
"I knew something was up. But three BeastBoy's? What evil world have I stepped in?"
"Crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap!" the first said in his mind
"Hey Raven..." said the second
"Hello...BeastBoy? What happened?" she asked, getting straight to the point
"Uh...long story short. That BeastBoy..." said the third, pointing to the first "thought it would be a sweet idea to split himself up so that he had someone to talk to." he replied "Remember, that BeastBoy." he told her
Raven's eyes narrowed on him and the first knew he was dead.
"We talk, now." She told him
"Well while you two discuss things I'll just be going." Said the second
"You, stay, now." she told him
"I would, but I'm not exactly BeastBoy." he told her, making a break for it
The other two BeastBoys and Raven watched as the second sped down the hall in the form of a cheetah. Thinking his speed would outwit her he was confident he was home free. Raven on the other hand simply sighed and snapped her fingers. Just as the second was going to turn the hall he crashed into a dark energy field, splatting into it as if he were a fly on a windshield.
"I see that he is exactly like you. Brains and all." she told them
"She's scary." The third whispered
"I know." the first whispered back
Moments later the three BeastBoys were in the common room, cross-legged on the floor while Raven sat on the couch reading a book. All three were bound by Raven's powers should any one get any bright ideas. As Raven turned to the next page BeastBoy One couldn't stay quiet any longer.
"When are you gonna let us go?" he asked, "I said I was sorry."
"That's nice." she replied, continuing with her book
"But Raven...this is uncomfortable."
"That's nice." She repeated
"If ya let me go I promise to never do anything like this again." He promised
"That's nice." She repeated again
"You're enjoying this aren't you?" he asked
"You have no idea."
"Man, your girlfriend is a total..." the second began
"She's not my girlfriend!" the first shrieked
"Dearest Raven, I apologize for my counterpart's hasty actions and I am deeply sorry that he performed such an impulsive act. It is my deepest regret that I could not stop him but I was not yet created. If you can find it in your heart to forgive I can assure you that something like this will never happen again." came the third
"Suck up." The second muttered
"Are you sure you're BeastBoy?" she asked, never having heard speech like that come from his mouth
"If anything, a part of him." the third replied
"I must say, that sounded like a heart felt apology and anybody would forgive someone after that..." she began
All three BeastBoys looked up, glad that Raven would finally free them.
"But I am not anyone." she told them, returning to her book
The gloom looks on their faces quickly returned.
"I thought we were going to talk."
"We just did."
"Ha ha." he mocked
"I would call you an idiot but that wouldn't grant this situation justice."
"Well I was bored." the first replied
"Get a hobby."
He sighed.
"You're not gonna let the others find out, are ya?" he asked
"That all depends on you, BeastBoys." she replied
"I don't like the sound of that." the second muttered
That much the three agreed on.
Much later the other Titans returned from their previous engagements. Smiles on each off their faces. Well Robin sorta had a blush on his face but a smile was right below it, even if it was rather nervous looking.
"So Rob, how was ya date?" Cyborg asked
"One, it was just a movie, and two, it was fine." he replied
"Star?" he asked
"It was glorious friends! The movie was better that what the people who do the reviewing said it would be! I cannot wait until we see it again!" she replied, giggling
"And the rest?" he asked, eyeing them suspiciously
"That went well as well. We had so much fun! The iced cream was the best." she replied
"I see."
"Well let's just watch some TV together. I'm beat and I just want to relax." Robin replied
"Star wear you out?" Cyborg asked
"You have no idea." Robin replied
When the three Titans entered the common room they were granted with the shock of their lives. BeastBoy, seeming to have lost his mind and sexuality, was wearing a maid's outfit with matching headdress. He was holding a teapot and was busily pouring Raven tea.
"Thank you BeastBoy." she replied
"You're welcome." he muttered
"You're welcome what?" she asked
"He mumbled something under his breath but replied nonetheless.
"You're welcome Raven, Mistress of BeastBoy the Hopeless."
"Good."
That's when BeastBoy looked up to see the other Titans staring wide-eyed at him.
"BeastBoy...why are you in my maid's outfit?" Starfire asked, "Did you think it was pretty?" she asked, slightly hopeful
"Not gonna ask." Robin uttered
"Gotta get the camcorder." Cyborg uttered and was gone to get the camcorder
"You're evil, you know that?" BeastBoy told her
"I know." she replied "Now what have we learned?" she asked
"One BeastBoy is better than three." he replied
"Good."
"Am I done?" he asked
"For now." she replied
"Good...cause I was gonna clean your room! Bye!" he said, and with that was gone
"Good...wait a minute!" she shrieked "BeastBoy! Get back here!" she yelled, racing after him
Just as she bolt out of the door Cyborg barreled in, camcorder in hand, but when he saw no Raven or BeastBoy his joyful mood soon fell.
"Aw, just missed them." he said gloomily
"I believe Raven and BeastBoy have headed toward Raven's room." Starfire replied
"I think she was going to kill him or something." Robin told him
"Ooh!" she squealed in delight, heading off to Raven's room
"Do you think we shall ever find out what happened?" Starfire asked
"Probably not." Robin replied, heading over to the TV
And that is the fourth chapter ladies and gentlemen. Hope you enjoy it. And please, give me any or all ideas for shorts. I would love to portray your thoughts for you. It's what I write for! (Oh, and remember, most of his chapter contains BeastBoy's way of talking so don't worry to much about grammical errors.)