Weariness of Minds

For disclaimer, see chapter 1.

A/N: Thanks for reading! Enjoy…

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I must be staring at him like a complete idiot. Yet right now, I have a hard time catching up with what has just happened. A little while ago, I was convinced that it was over; the glimmer of hope I had held up of us ever becoming an 'us' felt extinguished for good. And now I find myself on his lap in my living room, after crying his shirt soggy like a helpless little girl, and he's still holding on to me. I can feel his hand on the skin of my back, and the sensation makes me shiver.

I'm quite embarrassed about my outburst. First I hit him, although he did scare the living daylights out of me when he appeared seemingly out of nowhere, and then I cry like a baby. But none of it seems to matter at this moment. All I can feel is the reverberation of his words. In his round-about way, he just told me he loved me, didn't he?

I breathe harder as the reality of the moment strikes. He's looking at me with an intensity that has been directed at me only once; on a certain porch at a certain party that I'd much rather forget, except for the part where he had kissed me as if his life depended on it.

Thinking back on that kiss makes my breath catch in my throat.

I can't believe I am finally in his arms. I slide my hands up and down his shirt, to make sure I'm not dreaming. I refrain from pinching him but I can feel his chest muscles under my fingertips, heaving and sinking in a rapid rhythm. My whole body starts humming in anticipation. His hand is drawing circles on my back, his fingertips occasionally reaching my waist where my skin is particularly sensitive. A low moan escapes me, and he pulls me even closer.

Reality finally catches up with me. I'm sitting on his lap, in his arms, and he loves me, I think. Suddenly, I want to giggle and laugh out loud, feeling the pure joy of it all. I give him a huge smile and swiftly put my arms around his neck. Trailing my fingertips through the short hair at the back of his head, I bring our faces closer together. I can feel his breath fanning across my nose, my lips, my chin.

"Sarah," he sighs against my mouth, and that just does me in. I need to feel him, now.

Slowly, I touch my mouth to his; my lips rub against his suggestively before I let my tongue slide along his bottom lip. Just this barely-there contact already zings through me like a jolt of electricity.

He groans and swiftly claims my mouth. His tongue darts out and I feel my mouth opening to him. While one of his hands is still pressed against my back, the other is now tunneling through my hair, gently holding me in place. He's discovering me, exploring all that I have, and I can't get enough. Desire shoots through me in waves, warming me, making me tingle from the tips of my fingers down to my toes. We're tangled up in each other, caught in a new kind of dance that is so much better than the one we used to do. God, how could I go so long without this, without him? I'm drowning in his taste, his scent, in everything that makes him so uniquely him. Nobody has ever kissed me like this before, so demanding and so giving at the same time.

o o o o o

Wow, I'm finally kissing Sarah MacKenzie. Not a misunderstood kiss, or a stolen kiss, or a friendly kiss, this one. Now it's for real. When I first feel her lips on mine, there is no holding back. With a primal need I don't recognize with myself, I have to feel her, taste her. Her mouth opens up to me like a blossom to the sunlight, and I swoop in, possessively claiming her. I momentarily fear I'm too demanding, but she matches me in every regard.

I can feel her body shivering, goose bumps breaking out on her skin, and I'm thrilled that I have such an effect on her. Her body is moving now; never breaking off contact, she executes one stunning maneuver that brings her straddling my lap. Our position is suggestive and sexy as hell. I pull her closer still, and I just know that I am never going to let her go again. If I had any doubts before (which I didn't, not really), now I know for sure that we are a perfect match in every regard.

Sheer primal need of oxygen is what finally drives us apart. We're both panting heavily, unable to move or get a word out. Suddenly, she collapses on me, still breathing hard; her arms hang limply from my shoulders and her forehead comes to rest on my chest. No coherent thoughts are forming in my head, so I just hold her tight and remain quiet.

"I'm exhausted," she mumbles into my chest a while later, "I haven't slept in days…"

I just take that in, still gathering my strength. It would certainly help explaining why she was no longer able to uphold her rigid self-control and just broke down earlier tonight. But boy, am I glad it happened.

When I'm somewhat recuperated, I lift her off my lap, get up, and hold my hand out to her so I can pull her up as well.

"Why don't you get ready for bed, and I'll wait to say good night?" I ask, and her face lights up in a sweet, beautiful, warm smile.

Then she actually giggles when I send her on her way with a "Scoot" and a pad on her behind, and it's the cutest sound I've ever heard.

A few minutes later, she emerges from her bathroom clad in a pair of dark-green, cuddly-looking pajamas, and I follow her into her bedroom where she quickly climbs under the sheets. Once she's settled in, I sit down on the edge of her bed and simply look at her.

She is achingly beautiful. I gently stroke my fingers across her forehead, down her nose, then over her lips. It's taking all my strength not to gather her in my arms again, but I know she needs some sleep. Besides, I'll have her in my arms for the rest of our lives.

"Sweet dreams, Sarah," I whisper, before I give her a gentle good night kiss. I turn and want to get up when her hands shoot out from under the blanket and grab my wrist. I look back at her.

"Please, stay with me tonight?" She looks exhausted and weary, and I can't think of anything better than to hold her through the night. Not that I really wanted to leave her in the first place, but it had to be her call.

"There's nothing I'd like more. I'll just go and get ready?" She nods and I head to her bathroom.

"There's an extra toothbrush in the vanity under the sink, if you want it," she informs me through the closed door. I use it, then get undressed. I hope she doesn't misinterpret anything, but I just can't spend a whole night in my jeans, it's so uncomfortable. In boxer shorts and my t-shirt I tap back into the bedroom.

She watches my every step, and when I reach the bedside, she simply lifts up the blanket and sheets.

"Hold me," she whispers, and I slide in next to her, lying on my back. She nestles in next to me, and rests her head and an arm on my chest. I wrap my arms around her back, and she sighs.

"G'Night," I hear her say, then her eyes are drifting shut and her breathing evens out. She's fast asleep only a few minutes later. I listen to the whispered sounds of her breathing, and consider what an emotional roller-coaster this night has been, until I finally drift off to sleep as well.

TBC