Title: From one Emo to another: It takes one to know one.
Catagory: FFVII: DoC
Generes: Crack, humor, fluff, stupidity. XD oh and Drama and Emo XD And mass OOC-ness
Rating: PG13/T
Notes: This is based off of a crackish RP I did with Hagaren-Eeyore on DA chat #GotItMemorized XD; No real spoilers for DoC, but yeah. XD be amused
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Cloud and Vincent were sitting side by side, in a pure white room with only a couch in the center of it. Neither were talking and neither were moving. The only sound that could be heard was quiet breathing.
Behind one of the white walls, a figure with a white labcoat sat in a chair, legs crossed, a tablet in their lap and pen tapping idly against it. This was their experiment and project, and they were bound and determined to see it through.
The figure was a female with short, brown and straight hair and had dark blue eyes. She leaned over and pushed one of the buttons on the keyboards laid out on the table before her before sitting back and smirked. Let the experiment begin.
Cloud looked up at the white ceiling and sighed heavily, eyes closing. Beside him, Vincent didn't move or blink, he just continued to breathe calmly. 'He's such an emo...' He grinned a little and leaned forward and looked over at the gunslinger.
"You're so emo, you know that?" The red-cloaked male looked over at the blond, brow raising. Cloud grinned and continued. "Well, you are! You're always brooding and sulking and being all 'ZOMGLUCRECIA' all the time." Vincent twitched a little, uttering out a sentence quietly. "Look who's talking."
Cloud frowned. He didn't expect for the other to have a comeback. "Yeah but at least I'm trying to move on. I don't sit around on my ass all day and sulk and eat OREOS." Vincent looked a little sheepish. "...I like oreos..."
"So do I, but I don't sit around and eat them all day then sulk and whine when I run out. At least I have a job."
Music started playing suddenly, making the two of them jump and get looks on their faces that clearly said "WTF?"
"I recognize this song... Haha, it reminds me of when Squall had to dance. I'd rather dress up again than dance." His eyes went shifty. "At least that was slightly fun..." He muttered silently.
"You're a pansy..."
"What'd you say?"
"I said Micheal Jackson's the hottest man-woman beast ever, what do you think I said?!"
Cloud twitched and pulled out an EMR he confiscated from Reno previously and hit Vincent upside the head with it.
"OW!"
"Hey! I did it to save Aerith! Don't insult me, Mr. Emo."
"..." Silence.
"And you call me pansy..."
"Don't make me go Chaos on your ass."
"You don't have Chaos anymore, remember? He went bye-bye when you made Omega go boom."
"...Fine, don't make me go Galian Beast on your ass."
"As if you could. I fought Sephiroth twice, beat his remnants, and saved the planet a few times over, I think I could kick your ass if I had to."
"...Omega was bigger than Sephiroth."
"So? If it wasn't for our help your sorry ass wouldn't have been able to get down to Deepground and if it wasn't for me and the others shutting down the reactors, Omega would've drained all the Lifestream and taken off, making the planet go bye-bye. So hah."
They sat in silence again. Cloud reached in to his bag by his side and pulled out a large plate of brownies and started happily munching on them. Vincent watched with utter shock. "...And you made fun of me for the oreos." He muttered with an eyeroll.
Cloud frowned. "Brownies are better than oreos, you emotard!" He continued eating the brownies, inadverdantly getting crumbs all over the place. Vincent glared mildly. "Oh yeah? Well...you're an emophile!" The blond snorted. "...Emotologist." Discreetly, the gunslinger nibbled on some of the brownie crumbs. "..."
The former hero of the world jumped up and pointed at cloaked man accusingly with a triumphant grin. "AHA! ADMIT IT! THE BROWNIES PWN YOUR SOUL! BWAHAHAHA!" He started cackling. Sitting back down, he reached back into the bag and pulled out a new bottle of water and handed it to Vincent and pulled out another bag of brownies.
"...You didn't put anything weird in this water, did you?"
"Of course not! It's a new bottle, HOW COULD I HAVE?! What do you take me for, you emotard!"
They sat in silence as Vincent proceeded to open the water and sip it, while Cloud continued to snack on the brownies. When they'd both finished their items off about ten minutes later, the blond sighed. "Well isn't this exciting," He stated with mock excitement and rolled his eyes, before grinning over at Vincent "I know something that'd be even more exciting..."
"EMOPHILE!"
"Emotard. You know you like it."
"That's beside the point..."
"Is not. It's fair game, you never stated the rules. So hah." He stuck his tongue out.
"Emophile."
"Emotard."
"Emobitch."
"Emotologist."
"Emofuck."
"Oh, yes please, Emomaniac."
There was silence again, both of them were grinning at one another from the insults.
"...We're two fucked up people."
"Yeah, we have fucked up pasts, and we're emo beyond belief."
The gunslinger looked over at the blond invitingly. "Misery loves company?" Cloud stared at the other before a wide grin broke out on his face. "...Sure." He accepted, before crawing over onto Vincent's lap...
An hour later, the woman behind the wall laughed and finished scribbling down notes on her notepad before reaching over and flipping the switch. "End simulation." She said. The holograms flickered inside, before fading and everything in that room was blank.
"Print results," She ordered the computer. The printer started up immediately, paper being printed out. She got up and grinned as she grabbed the reports up and started reading them.
Subjects: Cloud Strife and Vincent Valentine.
Enigmatic probability: 99.9 percent.
Predictability rating: 0.1 percent.
Statistics: 59/59 equaling 59/59
Psychological functioning: 100 percent.
Physical functioning: 100 percent.
Emotional functioning: 69.4 percent/
She scanned down the paper some more and her grin widened. "Looks like this project is a success." She muttered. "Now for the actual course-run..."
"Shelke! Are you up there, it's time to go!"
Shelke jumped and scrambled around as she took the labcoat off hurridly and looked in one of the mirrors and fixed her appearance before rushing to the door, setting the paper on the table by the door as she went out. "Coming!" She called.
The door shut behind her, and the paper fluttered to the floor face up.
Compatability rating: 100 percent.
Probability of failure: 0 percent.
Owari
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They really are Emotards. XD Excuse the very OOC-ness it WAS a crack rp...XD