IIIII

DISCLAIMER! (Because I was bad and forgot to give one in the first chapter):

Yes, it's true. I do not own House M.D. It may be hard to believe, but I don't own House. I don't even own a cane or an Ipod. Well, does an mp3 count? No? Ok then, woe is me.

IIIII

Chapter 2

IIIII

The evil one was coming his way.
What should he do?

He looked around, examining his options.

Should he pretend not to see her and just keep limping away?
Or should he attempt to make a run- well, quick hobble toward the elevators?
The walls were made of steel there; he'd be safe from her wrath.
And closer to his office.
He was always safe in his office.

House took a quick look over his shoulders, just in time to see her closing in.
His eyes scanned his surroundings even quicker.

Damn it.

There was nowhere to hide.

He finally decided to continue the direction he was going originally and slowly shuffle toward the elevators, hoping she wouldn't notice.
Yeah right, like that'd work.
"House!" He heard his name being called, or rather shouted out.

Her voice rang loud and sounded very perturbed, even amidst all the hustle of the hospital.
Damn.
Guess she saw him.

He stared longingly at the elevators, just a few feet away from him.
He was so close.
It was time for Plan C.

He shut his eyes tight, slouching over his cane, as mock pained expression fell over his face.

Moments passed and the only thing he heard was the busy comings and goings of a busy hospital. He was still in the same position, eyes closed, huddled over his cane.
Was the evil one gone?
Did Plan C work?

He lifted his head slightly and slowly opened an eye to check.
Instead of seeing the hospital's nice white ceilings, the annoyance-filled eyes of Lisa Cuddy met his own.

"OH NO! IT'S FOUND ME!" He cried out, over dramatically. "HIDE ME SICK PEOPLE! YOUR BRILLIANT AND HANDSOME DOCTOR NEEDS YOU!"
A few people, nurses and patients alike gave him a startled look.

Cuddy glared.
She for one did not enjoy having one of the hospital's most brilliant doctors causing a commotion.

She also could have sworn she heard an unsuspecting patient ask a nurse if they should actually go help him. A couple of the newer nurses actually stopped what they were doing to see if they needed to rush the crippled man, yelling like a lunatic, into emergency care.
He was making the atmosphere in the hospital high strung and everyone skittish.
If only he wasn't so brilliant…

"House…" Cuddy muttered through slightly clenched teeth, attempting to smile in case onlookers were actually…worried about him. "Stop causing a scene and get to work."
She glared at him. "You have clinic duty."

"Umm. No." He replied, still slouched over on his cane.
He let out a small groan. "Ughh."

"And what exactly do you think you're doing?" She demanded, in no mood for games.

House made a face of disbelief and disgust. "Well, duh, what does it look like I'm doing?"

"I don't know, you're…" Cuddy sighed, guessing. "You're constipated."

He gave her a sarcastic smile as he stood up straight. "Well, since you're so smart, then I guess that's probably what it is. Why don't you ask me?"

In all her years of knowing him, she knew the only way to handle him and get him to do his damn job was to play along.
Cuddy raised an eyebrow and sighed. "Ok then, are you-"

"No."

She groaned "Then wha-"

House cut her off again.

"If you must know, I saw you coming," He smiled. "So had to hide."

Cuddy rolled her eyes.

"But," He continued. "Since options A and B were out of the question, I was closed my eyes and wished really hard, that I would escape the wrath of the wicked witch…" House pointed to her, silently mouthing the word "you".
"Well stop it." Cuddy ordered, ignoring him. "You're scaring the patients, not to mention the new members on our staff.

House made a face.

"You need to do your clinic-" Cuddy started, but was quickly cut off by an outburst from House.

"WAIT!" He exclaimed, making a mock gasp. "Is that the father of your baby I see?"
He stuck his cane out, pointing straight across, to emphasize his point.
Cuddy followed the path from House's cane straight across the room just in time to see a figure fall in her line of view.
It was a doctor talking to one of his patients.
She looked a little harder and let out a groan of annoyance when she recognized the doctor.

James Wilson.

Figures.

Her attention snapped back to House. "I'm not even pregnan-"

Damn.
She should have known.

The bastard was gone.

House had taken his chance and slipped out unnoticed.
He was almost home free too, but just as he was about to step into the elevator, his name once again rang out within the hospital walls. He slowly turned around, regretting it the very moment he did so.

"Nice try." Cuddy spat, walking up to him. "But you forget that I can easily catch up to you since I have a huge advantage."
She smiled smugly, knowing that she had touched a nerve when he didn't respond. "Now, there's a patient in-"
"Snap!" House gasped.

She rolled her eyes yet again. "What is it this time?"

"Did you just call me a …a…cripple?" He asked, purposely stuttering. "I am so hurt! After all these years, I just thought I was a slow runner! How will I ever compete in the Olympics now? I was even going to get into figure skating!"

Cuddy sighed. "No, the hugh advantage I was talking about were my high heels."

"No, it's no use to lie now, I know you meant my use of a...cane." House slumped dramatically. "I was hoping no one would notice."
He looked at Cuddy. "You've killed all my dreams, hopes, and aspirations."

"You're still going to have to do four hours of clinic duty." She replied indifferently. "There's a patient waiting for you in exam room one."

It was at that moment when he heard the elevator door open behind him.
Now it was only a matter of time and timing before he could be sitting at his desk playing with his PSP while the others worked diligently on a case.
Perfect.

He looked at Cuddy, a quizzical look on his face. "What was that old saying?" He asked.

She gave him a look.

"You know," He continued, mock confusion written in her features "The old saying with the monkeys and how you're not supposed to hear or speak of evil?"

Cuddy nodded suspiciously. "What are you getting at House? Because you know, that patient isn't going anywhere, no matter how slow you are at getting there."
"What was that last one?" He mused, acting as if he didn't already know.
She shrugged.

"Ah yes!" House declared, suddenly clasping his left hand over his eyes and taking a few steps backwards into the elevator behind him before Cuddy could say anything. "I must see no evil!"
He removed his hand from his eyes and smiled complacently.

"Gotta go do my job you know." He nodded angelically as the elevator door started to close.

Cuddy was too late!
He was safe.

"Got lives to save, diseases to diagnose, and all that other good stuff waiting for me." House grinned. "Say hi to the guy in exam room one for me, and tell him that you're sorry I couldn't make it, but you just couldn't find me."

The elevator door closed completely, leaving Cuddy standing there shaking her head in exasperation and House on his way to his safe haven.

IIIII

"So!" House exclaimed, feeling very confident as he burst into his office with his left hand over his eyes once again, keeping them closed on purpose. He always liked the challenge, and so far he had only walked into one wall.

It had to be a world record.
Plus, he did after all, just escape from the clutches of evil.

He deserved a bagel.
And whatever Wilson was planning to eat for lunch.

Again, he did after all just escape from Cuddy and the dreaded clinic duty.

His cane made a 'thump' sound each time it connected with the ground. "What do you have for me?"
He shuffled over to the table and slammed his cane down onto its hard surface.
"Chase! Cameron! Foreman!" He called out each of their names, pointing blindly at the direction he expected them to be, while at the same time, keeping his eyes covered.

There was no answer.

He took a peek through the cracks of where his fingers met.
"Fine, playtime's over." He declared, finally removing his hand from his line of vision and opened his eyes. "Let's get to work."

He didn't even expect a response as he scanned the room, taking in a very unusual view.
There was not a duckling in sight.

The room was empty.

Great, did he just walk into the wrong room?
He turned his head to check the name on the door.

'Gregory House., M.D.'

Yeah, that looked about right.

Before forming another thought, he limped over to see if there was fresh coffee. After the high amount of effort he had to put into successfully making his way up to his office and dodging a Cuddy shaped bullet, he needed it.

He poured himself a cup and sat down facing his beloved white board which no one could touch.

Except for Cameron, that one time.
And Foreman too.
Ok, so almost no one.

He looked around as he relaxed into the chair.
Since he was the only one in there, it was safe to conclude that the ducklings were late.
But they were never late, at least not all of them at once.

A horrible thought entered his mind.

Maybe he was early.
But he was never early.
Or maybe he was so late, he was actually early.

For the love of all that was good and precious in the world, namely Vicodion and monster trucks, what alternate dimension had he fallen in?
And worse, was he actually on time for work? Impossible.

He cringed at the thought.

"No." He told himself.
He refused to believe it.
Cuddy would have dropped dead with shock.

But if he wasn't early, and they weren't late, then where was everyone?

House brought the cup up to his lips, taking a sip.
At least the coffee was fresh.
It meant that there were actual signs of life in his office.

Oh joy.

"Maybe they're doing jello shots and having wild sex in the lab again." House mused out loud to himself. "Wonder if I can join them."

He heard the door open. "No. You can't since we're not."
House glanced over hit shoulder just in time to see one of his own come in.

It was Foreman.

"Yo Dawg." House greeted, mocking him. He held out his arm, his hand in a fist. "Pound it."

Foreman ignored him.
"We have a case." He held up the folder for House to see. "What do you want to do?"

"And I have an itch on my ass." House responded sneeringly, leaning backwards against the chair. "Doesn't mean I'm going to scratch it."
House checked the door when he didn't see anyone else come in.
"Wait. Where the rest of you guys?" He demanded, just as Foreman was about to respond his previous statement.

"Just read the file." Foreman shrugged. "And as for Chase, I haven't seen him since yesterday."
"And Cameron?" House asked.
"Haven't seen her either." Foreman replied. "Maybe they ran off together."

House gave Foreman a look.

"No everyone knows Chase loves me." He scoffed, his ego never failing. "And Cameron, well, her too."

Foreman rolled his eyes. "Right."

Suddenly the doors opened and as if on cue, Cameron walked into the room, hair disheveled and face flustered.
It was clear that she had rushed to get there.
She also seemed a little less gathered then usual.
"House." She greeted.

House gave Foreman an exasperated look. "See. Told you."
Foreman just smirked, shaking his head.

"Sorry I'm-" Cameron started to explain, but House cut her off.

"You're late." He stated the obvious, his tone even. "You said you weren't going to be."

"Huh." Cameron replied, a somewhat mocking look on her face. "I guess I lied."

"Well aren't you going to tell me why you were late then?" House asked, still sitting on the chair. "Or beg for my forgiveness?"

She answered with a simple "No."

House stood up and walked over to where she was standing.
He was very close to her now.
Cameron gave him a look.

"Well you should." House continued. "After all, I am your boss."

"Then let's get to work." Cameron shrugged, nodding toward Foreman as he stood there, still holding the file. "We have a case."

"By your unwillingness to answer," House pushed, unwilling to let it go that easily. "I'm only going to have to assume you were with Chase then."
Cameron took a few steps forward so that she was looking down at House and he at her. "Maybe I was."
She was challenging him.

The two stared at each other, eyes locked, each unwilling to stand down.
House came even closer to her, but Cameron stood her ground.

Tensions were definitely high.

Forman decided to cut in after watching the exchange. "We do have a case you know."
The two doctors broke eye contact and turned their attention to the neurologist. It was a good thing too, any longer and Foreman guessed that they'd either kill each other or go at it like bunnies.
He really didn't want to be present for either.

"Well aren't you gonna tell us?" House asked sarcastically. "Or are we going to have to play 20 questions?"

"Eleven year old girl." Foreman started.

"Lemme guess, she's," House gasped. "sick?"

Cameron gave him an annoyed look then turned her attention back to Foreman. "What's wrong with her?"

"The kid's getting seizures." Foreman continued. "She's getting seizures that all of our tests indicate was due to overexposure to light."
"This is easy." House rolled his eyes. "Tell the kid to read more and less TV."
Cameron looked at him skeptically.
"Oh, NO." House exclaimed, putting his hand up to his mouth in an 'oops' expression. "I contradicted myself. Darn!"

Note to self, TV good, book bad.

He looked at Foreman.
Foreman raised his eyebrow.

"What?" House asked incredulously before turning his gaze to Cameron. "Ok yeah, I'm sorry I forgot that cool kids don't read."
He walked over, cane in hand, to get more coffee. "Tell the kid to get a hobby and lay off the TV."

Cameron took the file from Foreman and walked over, standing in front of House, blocking his way to the coffee.
He stared at her with a surprised expression.
What did she think she was doing?

"You didn't even look at the file." Cameron said, slightly annoyed.

"Ok." House replied as he took a quick glance at the file in Cameron's hands. "There. I did, next case! Bring it on."

"House…" Foreman began. "You didn't even look at the whole thing, the second…"

House walked over to Foreman.

"You're right, the second one was way better." He made a fist. "Pound it dawg."

"What?" Foreman asked, giving him a look of confusion. "No. That's not it."

"There was a second symptom." Cameron said, walking over to the two as she rejoined the conversation. "She started vomiting-"
House cut her off. "Again, easy. It was because to the seziurs obviously."
He glared at the two doctors as he scoffed. "Didn't you guys learn anything in med school?"

"Damn it House." Foreman spoke up, tired of all his quips. "No. First off, the kid starts vomiting up blood, so if you would just let me finish-"

House didn't wait for him to finish, instead, he grabbed the file from Cameron before she could even react and quickly flipped through the pages.
A few seconds later House looked up, with a surprised look on his face. "Well this is interesting…"
Cameron stayed quiet but the 'I told you' look on her face said it all.

Foreman nodded.

"So the kid's vomiting up blood which is caused by seizures due to overexposure to light…" House recapped.
He looked at the file one more time to make sure he had read right. "But the kid's blind…"
He looked at Foreman. "Do you think she's legally blind?"
"No. She's been totally blind since birth." Foreman replied. "We dont' know what's causing the seizures, other then light being the supposed cause."

"And since we know that's impossible..." House stared at Foreman and Cameron. "Guess we better figure out what's wrong..."

So he had another case that would be difficult to figure out.
They had to get to work.
He looked over toward the two, already grabbing the file and rushing to work.
It was time to save another life.

So then where the hell was Chase?

IIIII

A/N: Hope this was alright. Please Review, I tried my best.
Also, I'm kind of getting stuck. Anyone want to help?

Thanks for reading.

Until next time...