Itachi hadn't even had to knock Kisame out. He had fainted after Itachi had told him, 'It has everything to do with babies. My brother is gay, so I am planning on 'using' Orochimaru to carry on my clan. We are going to make an Uchiha baby.'
To be a member of Akatsuki, you had to be able to deal with anything, anywhere, and right now Kisame was failing as a member of Akatsuki. It was irritating having to drag him. He was going to have to report him to the head-leader-guy of Akatsuki if he didn't hurry up and be conscious again soon. Itachi was considering dumping him in a lake somewhere. But he was useful for distractions. Who wouldn't be distracted by that face?
Anyway, Itachi was extremely glad when Kisame decided to become conscious again. Of course, Itachi then realised that although dragging Kisame was irritating, Kisame conscious was also irritating. As he had an annoying habit of talking.
"We're…going to Orochimaru's…so…he can knock you up?"
Itachi glared and kicked him.
"We've gone through this, pitiful fool…Yes."
Kisame shook his head and opened his mouth to say something only to have Itachi's foot be shoved in it and a yell of "SILENCE!" ringing in his ears.
They arrived at Orochimaru's secret lair after a 20 day journey of pure silence. Itachi glanced around. It was all very dramatic, with snake-carvings, snake-walls, snakes crawling around…
Kisame poked Itachi, who punched him into a tree. A few minutes later, Kisame mouthed through a broken jaw 'Can I speak?' Itachi glared, and as Kisame hadn't been killed for having the nerve to poke and then mouth something at Itachi, he decided to take a chance.
"We going in the back entrance?"
Itachi glared. "This is why you do not talk. Why would we go in the back entrance? The front entrance is right there."
Kisame frowned. "But…bad guys always use the back entrance."
Itachi kicked him. "We're bad guys breaking into a bad guys place. Rules don't apply. Shut up."
Kisame shut up, and Itachi blew up the front door with a single glance. (He has the power.) Through the smoke and debris, he strode followed by Kisame, walking over dead bodies (or at least…they were dead after a look from Itachi), until they reached Orochimaru's bedroom.
"How do you know its Orochimaru's bedroom?"
"It's got the most snakes on the door, fool." Itachi whacked Kisame into a nearby wall, and walked forward to the grand door. He paused, and was about to knock (he needed to be on Orochimaru's good side. (He ignored the fact he'd practically single-handedly destroyed Orochimaru's entire lair)), when he heard a gasp behind him.
He turned and was greeted by the sight of a man with glasses and silver hair.
"You, YOU'RE-" Itachi sharinganed the newcomer, and turned to knock. However he was confronted by a not-so-friendly sight.
Orochimaru.
He was frowning slightly. "You just killed one of my best minions."
Itachi glared, and went to kill Orochimaru, before he remembered he was trying to get Orochimaru to father his baby, so he couldn't kill him.
Maybe he shouldn't have killed the underling…
Orochimaru was looking at him, eyebrow raised, a not so happy look on his face.
It was understandable.
His secret lair had just been destroyed and his bitch along with it. He told Itachi why he was upset. "And what would you do if I killed your bitch?"
They both turned to Kisame who was on the floor, bleeding vast amounts and twitching. Itachi shrugged, "Get a new one?"
Orochimaru paused, before nodding in agreement.
"What do you want, Itachi? Your brother isn't here. He went off to be gay with the demon boy."
Itachi nodded. "I know. That's part of the reason I'm here."
Orochimaru frowned at him, "What have I got to do with Sasuke's liking for having a dick in his ass?"
Itachi glared. "Hey, it could be his dick in the ass, don't jump to conclusions."
Orochimaru shrugged. "What do you want?"
Itachi paused. He could cleverly manipulate Orochimaru, he could just be straight with him, or, he could sharingan his ass…hmm…
He couldn't be bothered to be clever today.
"I want your baby to carry on the Uchiha clan."
Orochimaru blinked. "What?"
"Screw me, or I'll kill you."
Itachi found threatening worked best. Though he realised he sounded slightly desperate…
Orochimaru glared, and hissed out, "Why the hell should I?"
Itachi paused. "…Surely, a night with me is worth it?"
More glaring, and hissing.
"…Fine. I'll…give you Sasuke."
Orochimaru's eye perked up slightly, "I'm listening."
Itachi glanced around. "And Kisame too. "
Orochimaru gave him a look. "I don't want him."
Itachi glared at his useless companion and kicked him.
"Look, what else do you want?" Orochimaru frowned, and looked Itachi up and down. "I want your cloak."
"No."
"Fine then, no Uchiha babies."
Itachi glared, and then mumbled, "Fine…"
His soon-to-be-bed-partner smiled, and held out a hand, "So we have a deal?"
Itachi glared, but shook the hand. "Oh, by the way, I tend to kill people I have sex with."
Orochimaru merely smiled. "I wouldn't expect any less."
This is turning into a OroIta mpreg with a lot of Kisame abuse at the side...oh well...he's just there.
Sooo...review, or I'll make you Itachi's bitch. Wait...wouldn't that be an incentive not to review...hm...oh well, whatever floats your boat.
REVIEW!