Orochimaru had left in a gigantic puff of smoke. There wasn't a reason. It was mostly because he could.
Itachi had been annoyed at the mans too cool departure, but luckily he had managed to copy the Exit-scene-in-smoke-no-jutsu with his sharingan, so if he ever needed to make a cool exit he had 1 more option.
But now, he was wondering what to do with this thing in front of him.
"-groan- Ita…achi…help…me…"
"Screw off, fool."
At the moment, Kisame was, Itachi could only presume, dying on the floor.
"Get up; we're going to find my brother and his bitch."
"But…my spleen…"
"No one gives a shit about your spleen. Get up."
Where to start? They had 8 months, so there wasn't exactly a sense of urgency in him, but still...
Itachi blinked as he felt a drip of rain fall on his cloak. He glanced up, and the heavens opened. It began to pour.
Kisame flinched from the floor, and glanced at Itachi who had begun to shake. He watched as Itachi tried sharinganing the clouds, but it only made it worse. Soon, there was a full blown storm…storming everywhere.
"Why is it raining?"
Kisame jumped. Itachi was staring at him.
"Umm…I don't know…something to do with lakes and water vapour…I think."
Itachi glared, and stared at the clouds.
"Why does it have to rain now?"
"…I'm…sorry?"
"Seriously, this sucks." Kisame's eyes widened as he looked at Itachi, who looked quite upset.
"Why does it have to rain NOW! I'm trying to figure out where my long lost little queer brother is, and it just starts to rain. Why, why Kisame?"
Kisame scrambled back slightly. "I don't know…I'm sorry…"
"You suck too, bastard!" Itachi sharinganed Kisame into the clouds above, and he got sucked into a tornado.
Itachi sighed and sat on a nearby rock. Everything was just getting to him…
Wait. Itachi froze.
Things didn't get to Itachi. He didn't care; he just killed things, tortured his brother, tortured Kisame, and as of around a month ago carried a child…
Itachi gasped, before slapping himself when he realised he'd shown emotion, before realising he slapped himself, so he sharinganed Kisame out of the tornado, slapped him, then tossed him back in the typhoon of death.
It was the baby! The baby was making him show emotions!
"Damn you…"
Itachi glared at his stomach, and contemplated sharinganing it, before realising he needed the baby for his clan and stuff.
Bah…wait, Itachi needed to focus.
Queer brother gone AWOL.
Right…
This was HIS fault.
Itachi needed to find him so he could bitch-slap him for being gay and going AWOL, meaning Itachi had to get pregnant and then go find him and drag his pathetic ass back to Orochimaru.
Bastard…
Itachi stood up, and sharinganed Kisame out of the tornado.
"Get up, we're going to The Hidden Village of Sand."
"-groan- -twitch- What…now?"
"No, later. Of course now, fool!" Itachi kicked him. "We must take the opportune moment…we will go there, and find my homo-brother…"
"Wh..why…Sand?"
"…because I said so, do not question me!"
Kisame stopped talking, partly because Itachi was scary and didn't seem to like it when he talked, and partly because he was slowly losing consciousness.
"We leave at sunrise…"
Yes…Sand would be a good place to start. After all, you got sand at beaches. Beaches were hot. It didn't rain at beaches.
Yes. Sand was good.
"Hey." Itachi kicked Kisame. "Wake up."
He got no response.
"I said…wake up!" Itachi grabbed a kunai from his cloak and dove down to stab Kisame, who woke up at the last second and screamed.
Itachi stopped. "You just screamed…"
"N…no I didn't!"
"You screamed like…a girl…"
"It was a manly scream!"
"Just get up! We're going to Sand, and it's still raining. Give me your cloak."
Kisame blanched. "But…under this cloak…I'm…"
"I don't care. I have my priorities, and you have yours, but right now my hair is wet. If it starts to curl tomorrow, so help you…"
"Okay! I'll…I'll give you the cloak…"
So, they began their journey.
One pregnant man with dry hair and his wet naked bitch.
They're going to Sand so Itachi can talk to Gaara...
:P
Hee hee...review!