"Umm…so yeah, sorry, Gaara. I don't know where Naruto is at the moment. I think him and Sasuke had an ultra…"
"Ow, crap! Ah!"
"…secret mission thing…ummm…are you alright?"
"Ow! AH!"
Gaara dismissed Lee's concern over the strange cloaked figure with a flick of his hand. "He's fine. Are you, okay Lee?"
Lee shuffled slightly under the strangely intense glare coming from Gaara. Why was Gaara here anyway? And who was this strange, rather large, cloaked man? And who was the twitching figure in the corner?
"I'm fine…"
"AH! CRAP!"
Lee watched as the cloaked figure began kicking the twitching person, while yelling, "What-is-wrong-with-me?!"
"Are you sure he's okay?"
Gaara shrugged. "Who knows…we should be heading off now anyway…just remember…I'm always watching you…"
Lee gulped and watched as Gaara and the two other figures disappeared in a whirl of sand.
Should I be scared…? Lee wondered.
No, you should be scared shitless.
"Ow!"
"Itachi…"
"AH!"
"…wait…Itachi…"
"SON-OF-A-!"
"-Stop!"
Itachi froze mid-rant. But he could hardly be blamed. His insides were twisting and churning, he had felt pain, but nothing like this!
"What is it?" He hissed to Gaara, while doubled over, hands yanking Kisame's hair. (Kisame had already been banned from expressing sounds of pain, because, 'No matter how much pain you're in, its worse for me, bitch!')
"I think you're in labour, Itachi."
"I'm in what?"
"…" Gaara stared for a bit. "Even I know about pregnancy. Kisame, what do you know?"
"…"
"Kisame isn't allowed to speak. But he too, does not know about pregnancy. Why should he?"
"…because you're pregnant and about to have your baby…"
"Hmm…" Itachi frowned, thinking, and also crying out in pain and twisting Kisame's hair (Itachi can multi-task.)
"Has it been 9 months already?"
"Guess so."
Well this was unexpected, in an entirely expected way. He had obviously realised he was pregnant, but had kinda ignored the fact that meant at one point, a baby would have to leave his body.
"Where's it come out of?"
"…well, the thing is, you're having contractions. Which means, your cervix is dilating. Since when did you have a cervix?"
Itachi shrugged. "Must come as part of the male-pregnancy-no-jutsu package.
"…guess so…anyway, I think we're meant to time them."
"…why…? AH! AH!"
"Well…that one wasn't very long after your last one…"
"…which means…?"
"…babys gonna come."
Itachi frowned. "Ow! But…ow! From where…?"
Gaara shrugged.
"Right…lets find a doctor…"
Itachi nodded. "That is the best course of action. Kisame, carry me. Gaara, lead."
He received 2 nods of confirmation.
"What should I say to the doctor? 'My friend is having a baby. But he's a guy. Tell anyone and he'll kill you.'?"
"…I think we can just sharingan him into thinking everything's normal."
"You can do that?"
"I can do anything…ow! Ah! Crap!"
At least the worst is out of the way…surely, nothing could be more painful than this…
It's been ages since I updated . but we have contracting!Itachi and medical-genius!Gaara...
The baby shall come next chapter. Which means I actually have to work out details about it...(boy/girl? evil/good?) Though I have a pretty good idea of what it'll be like... :D
Thanks for your reviews! They rule!
R&R!!