Chapter 3: Acceptance

From a cave not far away, a small orange flame flickered, struggling to keep its light.

And then it was…. gone in a wisp of smoke.

"I'm sorry. There's nothing we can do."

Anna broke down, sobbing uncontrollably. Yoh looked away. He couldn't bear the loss of his twin whom he once loathed and took for granted.

Anna placed her arms around Hao's dead body. She couldn't believe it.

"HAO'S NOT DEAD! He isn't! He's just…Hao!"

She screamed at the doctors who were about to take Hao to the morgue. Yoh couldn't take it. He held Anna back as the doctors carried Hao's body away. Anna glared at him.

"He's your brother! How can you stand this?" She started to cry again, beating her blood-covered fists at his chest.

Yoh couldn't bear to look at those eyes again. Those onyx eyes full of sadness.

He sighed. "I guess I have to break it to mom and dad." He thought, looking away.

Mikihisa and Keiko couldn't bear the loss of their first born. Keiko couldn't help crying as Yoh related the story.

"I should've died instead. I was the reason why he died." He said grimly, his face hidden in a shadow.

The couple looked at their son with surprise. Never has he been like that. He was always happy, cheerful, perky, but now is an exception.

"Yoh…don't blame yourself…it was an accident, dear..."

Anna sat beside him, still getting over the shock.

"It's all your…fault, you…stupid…he shouldn't be…" She sobbed.

Yoh couldn't look straight at them. It was just too…hard.

It was his fault. All his.

He should've died.

He should've been the one who was killed.

He should have heeded his brother.

But now…

She's crying.

And it's his fault.

Everything suddenly became quiet after Hao's death.

Anna barely spoke, and Yoh didn't even try.

Anna moved back to the inn, which became enveloped with a deathly silence. Yoh never talked to her, so engrossed in his guilt, fearing he'll make her cry again.

Yoh silently made his way out of the house. Dark clouds covered the sky, giving the late afternoon an eerie feel to it.
A month had passed after Hao's death, and he still couldn't get himself to talk to her.

He placed a small rose on his brother's grave, hoping it would ease his guilt.

(this isn't a songfic, I added this since it fitted with the scene.)

Kazesasou kokage ni utsubusete naiteru
Mi mo shiranu watashi wo watashi ga miteita
Yuku hito no shirabe wo kanaderu GITAARA
Konu hito no nageki ni hoshi ha ochite

A tear slid down Yoh's cheek as he kneeled on his brother's grave.
He didn't know that it would affect all of them like this…
If only he could turn back and change time…

Yukanaide, donna ni sakende mo
ORENJI no hanabira shizuka ni yureru dake
Yawarakana hitai ni nokosareta
Te no hira no kioku haruka
Tokoshie no sayonara tsuma hiku

He knew Hao could never come back…
His spirit was gone…if only he was here…
Even for a short while…
If it makes Anna feel any better.

Yasashii te ni sugaru kodomo no kokoro wo
Moesakaru kuruma ha furiharai susumu
Yuku hito no nageki wo kanadete GITAARA
Mune no ito hageshiku kakinarashite

He didn't want her to shed any more tears.
He didn't want her to be pained because of his faults.
He loved her too much.

Aa kanashimi ni somaranai shirosa de
ORENJI no hanabira yureteta natsu no kage ni
Yawarakana hitai wo nakushite mo
Akaku someta suna haruka koete yuku
Sayonara no RIZUMU

"Hao…I'm so sorry…" Yoh sobbed silently, his tightening fist on his knee. "I…I never…I didn't mean what I said…Hao…if I only…"

Yoh's next words were muffled by his sobs.
Omoide wo yakitsukushite susumu daichi ni
Natsukashiku me fuite yuku mono ga aru no

"I…I'd give anything….just to make her happy…I…I know I've been selfish and hurt many of my friends in the process…but…I don't want to see her cry again."

Yoh wiped his tears with his sleeve, but found it useless; tears streamed yet once again as he spoke.

"She…she's always crying…I know it's my fault…I…I know I shouldn't been selfish…I…I can't bear it…even though it's painful…"

A drop of rain fell on Yoh's cheek. Soon enough, water was pouring all over the shaman.

Akatsuki no kuruma wo miokutte
ORENJI no hanabira yureteru ima mo dokoka
Itsuka mita yasurakana yoake wo
Mou ichido te ni suru made

But he didn't care.

He wanted it all to wash away, he wanted it all to go.

Kesanaide tomoshibi
Kuruma ha mawaru yo

He took one final sigh and left.