A/N: I'm having issues with FF. (I remember why I stopped.) It doesn't appear to me the story has come up, but friends assure me it has. So, assuming someone is reading this. Here's chapter two.

Chapter Two

Specialist Cally met the raptor. It was all she could do not to hug the chief in relief. Dignity held firm and she merely smiled. "Glad you're back in one piece, Chief."

He laughed. "It's more than I can say for the raptor." He bent over and looked at the bottom of the recently landed craft. As he stood up, he leaned in close to Cally. "Don't tell Boomer, but the gymbal is off." They laughed and started to walk away.

Cally suddenly remembered her orders. "Sir, Captain Adama. The commander wants to see you in his office ASAP."

Lee drew in a deep breath. As he walked to the hatch, he called over his shoulder. "Starbuck… Looks like you win post flights." He grinned despite the circumstances, imagining the expression on her face.

He knocked on the part open door, and hearing a command to enter, stepped inside. "You wanted to see me, sir?" He moved to stand at attention.

"At ease, Lee." Adama hated seeing Lee snap to attention when they were alone. It never felt right to him. It reminded him that to Lee, he was commander first and father second. They'd come a long way in their relationship, but the bridge they were building was tentative at best and they'd had their fair share of skirmishes. "Are you alright?"

Lee relaxed somewhat. "Yes, sir. Fine. We're ALL fine. The Emerald Drifter lost three souls. I'm waiting on the reports before I can offer my full evaluation."

Adama had always thrived on military logic. He enjoyed the structure and purpose it provided. Again he found himself cursing his inability to shut it off. He was alone in his office with his son, who had very nearly been killed. "Frak the report. I want to be sure you're ok."

Lee circled the room with his eyes and rolled his shoulders. His words were clipped. "I was no where near the explosion, dad. I'm fine."

"Are you?" Adama eyed him closely, looking for signs of strain. "It wasn't all that long ago…"

Lee cut him off abruptly. "I KNOW DAD! A long time ago on GALACTICA someone tried to get to you by trying to kill me. It's over! I'm fine. We weren't on board." He settled his anger and tried to return to military decorum. "I believe the attack was aimed at the president. I don't recommend she continue the tour."

Adama knew he wasn't going to get anywhere appealing to his son. Lee had shut down. Captain Adama was reporting and there would be nothing else. "Very well then." He couldn't back down entirely despite Lee. "You look tired."

Lee rolled his eyes. "Fine, SIR. Inspections, any change of pace, puts a person off."

"So perhaps you should take the rest of the day off?" Adama offered. "Maybe go check in with Major Cottle."

Lee jumped back to attention. "DAD! With all due respect, I'M FINE! Even if I didn't have to go back out and finish the inspections, much less redo the others, I have more than enough work to catch up on. I have no time for a day off."

Adama found himself enjoying the situation. He'd rattled his son. That didn't happen often. "There's always time for a day off."

Lee's eyes narrowed and he looked directly at his father. "Then might I be so bold as to suggest you take your own advice? When was the last time YOU took a day off?" They both knew Adama hadn't had one official day off since the attacks.

Adama squirmed. "This isn't about me." It sounded lame to them both. "You're due to report to Cottle anyway."

Lee rolled his head and ran his hand through his hair. Every month he was required to report to Cottle for an exam. He'd hated required physicals before. He despised them now. Every month Cottle checked him over, drew blood and proclaimed him fine. Lee had tried skipping one month and they revoked his flight status. "It's like you want to find something wrong with me."

"What?"

Lee hadn't realized he'd spoken out loud. Rather than repeat a statement he knew full well his father had heard, he continued boldly. "I was poisoned. I got sick. I recovered. Why are you two doing this to me?"

"We just want to be sure…"

Lee cut his father off. He'd heard it a million times. "I don't relapse." He stiffened his stance. "How can I relapse from a poison, dad? This is ridiculous. I'll never…" He stopped, knowing he'd said too much.

"You'll never what?" Adama pressed.

Lee shook his head. "Will there be anything else?" This wasn't the time he had intended for this discussion.

"What won't you do, Lee?" Adama ignored all but his son's comment.

Lee made for the door.

"LEE! I didn't dismiss you."

Lee stopped in his tracks. He'd been afraid of that tone his whole life. His only rebellion was to remain facing the door. He couldn't face his father on this. "I'll never get over it and move on if you don't let it go."

Adama was at his son's side in fractions of a second. He didn't bother to try and move Lee. Instead, he stepped in front of him and grabbed his son's shoulders. Lee refused to meet his gaze, but he went on. "I can't, Lee. I can't get over almost losing you. I won't."

There had been only one other time he had so clearly felt his father's love. They had been standing outside CIC and his father has said the fleet would never leave. It had unnerved him. His father had basically said all of humanity would be on hold until Lee was safe. He'd been overwhelmed. Lee shook his head in frustration and moved past his father. There was a time he craved such sentiment from his father. Now, all it seemed to do was weigh him down. It was a stress that bore into his soul every time he entered combat. He didn't need the added burden of living for someone else. It was hard enough to live for himself.

BSG

In the days that followed, no one stepped forward to claim responsibility for the attack. The investigation revealed a simple bomb with an even simpler timer. Either it had gone off at the wrong time or had been meant to send a warning.

Lee finished the fleet inspections and was trying to complete the mountain of paperwork on his desk as well. The phone next to him had been ringing for some time before the annoying noise penetrated his thoughts. "Adama."

"Where the frak are you?"

Lee could actually hear the doctor inhaling his cigarette as he spoke. "In my office, but you knew that." He'd long ago stopped respecting the doctor as a military man.

"You were due here thirty minutes ago. My time is precious. I'll just sign these no-fly papers if that's what you'd like."

Lee thought about telling him to go ahead. The rebellious thought felt good. He wondered if Starbuck was rubbing off on him. Then he realized that CAP was the only down time he got these days. It was peaceful in space for the most part. It left him lots of time to think and dream. He couldn't afford to lose this. Some days, it was all that kept him going. "On my way."

Twenty minutes later, after having been poked, prodded and drained, Cottle blew smoke in Lee's face. "Good for another month unless there's something else."

Lee hopped off the bed, but was stopped by the Doctor's grip. "Unless there's something else?"

Lee scowled. "There's nothing else." He wasn't released.

"Are you sure?" Cottle inhaled deeply.

"I don't have time for games. Make your point." Lee demanded.

Cottle could respect that. "Seems you're not making time to eat either."

Lee's face crossed in puzzlement.

"You've lost weight again. The blood tests are starting to show some deficiencies. Care to explain?"

"I'm busy." He tried to leave again, but this time Cottle's leg blocked him. "Look! I'll eat more. I promise."

"You do that and to be sure, I'll see you in two weeks. I want a weight gain." Cottle dropped his leg and Lee passed. Cottle didn't often let his guard down. It was easier to tend to patients if you were detached. Lee Adama worried him and worse, he didn't know just how much of his worry to pass on to his commanding officer, who would be demanding a report within minutes.

BSG

Lee reread the paper in his hand for the third time. He snarled in frustration and slammed his fist on the desktop.

"Is this a bad time?" Sharon "Boomer" Valerii stuck her head through the open hatch. "I can come back."

He shook off his foul mood and waved her in. "Just sick of paperwork. I was in the military to fly vipers, not ride a desk and suffer paper cuts."

Boomer considered his words a moment. "You didn't think you'd be promoted out of the cockpit eventually?"

He met her eyes and then looked quickly away. "I'm not my father. I came in through the reserves. I never planned on making it a lifetime career."

"Really?" Sharon sank uninvited onto the chair in front of his work-laden desk. "What would you have done?"

Lee started laughing. "I have no frakin' idea. I just knew I wasn't a lifer."

"And that's changed now? You'll follow the Admiral's footsteps?" She logically surmised.

"I guess the Cylons made that decision for me." He shook off the melancholy thoughts and straightened his shoulders. "You needed to see me?"

She smiled. "I have those ECO quality reports you asked about." She eyed his desk. "Although it looks like you have more than enough to handle. I can come back later if you'd like."

He held out his hand to take the report. "No. The distraction will be nice. I've read this same page three times."

She handed him the report and watched him as he skimmed it. A cold shiver ran down her spine. She wasn't exactly sure what her role in the attacks on him had been, but she prayed to the gods each night that it had been a temporary insanity. She hadn't dared mention it to anyone, not even Tyrol. There was a big part of her that wanted to find out the truth, but so far she'd managed to shove the urge far down inside her soul.

They were just finishing the meeting when Kara popped in. "Let's go." She ignored Lee and was obviously talking to Boomer.

Lee was tired, but not dumb. "I'm sorry. I've kept you too long." He couldn't resist a jab at his number one problem pilot. "The report was perfect. It was nice to have everything organized and on time." His eyes rested on Lieutenant Thrace. "Perhaps the Lieutenant could benefit from your example."

Kara scrunched her face and stuck her tongue out at him. "Let's go. I'm hungry."

Boomer stood tentatively up. "Sir, would you like to join us for dinner?"

Lee hesitated, but ultimately couldn't pull his eyes from the stacks of work. "Thanks anyway. I'm not quite ready."

Kara eyed her CAG and friend closely. He looked drawn and pale. He carried a fake façade. Those that didn't know him well, which was most everyone, saw nothing out of the ordinary. She knew better. Lee had been too stressed for too long. "Listen, Flyboy. We're going to dinner and you're going with us. On your feet."

Lee glared at her and raised an eyebrow. "Are you giving me an order?"

She smiled. "Yes."

"You know I'm your superior officer?"

She grinned more. "I know you have a bigger title."

His eyes narrowed, masking his humor. "And you don't mind giving me an order in front of a junior officer?"

Kara's face screwed up. For just a moment, she worried that she might have really gone too far. The small spark in Lee's eyes gave him away. "I have a reputation to uphold. Besides, she invited you."

Lee stood and buttoned his jacket. "I noticed you didn't. Some friend."

Kara sputtered, but then laughed it off.

BSG

For several weeks following the explosion, Lee felt his father's eyes on him even more often, if possible. It seemed to be settling down, finally. He was relaxing more. He'd not gained weight when he saw Cottle, but he hadn't lost either, so his argument that he was fine, held.

Lee considered Cottle as he headed for the deck. A part of him was nagging for confession. Cottle seemed to be a natural recipient. Lee considered telling him about his troubled sleep and sleepwalking. It had happened one time since the explosion. He woke to find himself in the deserted mess hall.

The lack of sleep was beginning to catch up with him. He had dozed off at a meeting yesterday. Luckily, the president was more understanding and less concerned. Had his father been present, it would have ended differently. He didn't think drugs from the major would solve the problem either. He knew he was having bizarre dreams. They would startle him awake, but he never remembered them.

He sighed. He had six hours to contemplate his problems. He was going on patrol. He completed his pre-flight inspections and pulled the top half of his flight suit on.

Kara strolled up behind him. "You just disappointed half the flight deck."

"Pardon?" Lee questioned, zipping his suit.

"The ladies," she paused glancing around, "and some of the men I suspect, love seeing you in half a flight suit."

Lee blushed a vivid red. "Starbuck!"

She laughed. "Kiddo's a bit nervous about flying with you."

Lee frowned. "What did I ever do to him?" He didn't like the idea that one of his pilot's didn't trust him.

"He's in awe of you. He's afraid of frakkin' up." She saw his concern and added. "I have no idea why."

He laughed softly. "Good to know. I'll be nice."

She wrinkled her nose. "Load him up with compliments."

A small smile formed on his lips. "Thank the lords I have you to show me how to do my job."

She bounced on her heels and smiled brightly. "You're welcome."

BSG

Patrol was uneventful, as most were, until the last circle of the fleet. Just as Lee was giving Kiddo the order to head for home two cylon raiders jumped into the fleet. He quickly updated Galactica and moved to pursue. Kiddo followed. Lee vaguely heard Dee's voice telling him reinforcements were on the way and would be at their location in two minutes.

Apollo took one of the raiders out quickly. Kiddo was struggling with the other, but Lee held slightly back. He wanted to build the rook's confidence. He wasn't about to let the kid die, so he held close by. Just as Kiddo took out the second raider, Lee's console began to scream. Six additional raiders had jumped in. The fleet was jumping and he heard Kara's voice telling him they were 40 seconds out.

Normally, with the fleet jumping, help on the way and only a rook as wingman, Lee would have merely held back, not allowing the enemy to advance, but not attacking. It was standard procedure. From somewhere deep within Lee's mind, he hit the thrust and attacked the nearest ship. He never heard Starbuck screaming at him. He didn't hear the near misses exploding just outside his ship. He flew wildly, firing at anything disc shaped. He didn't hear the order to return to Galactica. In his mind he saw only the one remaining raider and he intended to destroy it.

"APOLLO, DESIST AND RETURN HOME!" Kara screamed in his ear.

He smiled. "Not yet. I got this one."

Kara was stunned. She had no idea who this was. Lee Adama was never reckless. He was known for his precision and cunning, but never recklessness. That was her bag. Something in her gut told her this was not good.

Again the order to return came through and Lee ignored it. Kara wasn't waiting any longer. She zoomed ahead and maneuvered around Lee dodging in and out of the fire from the raider. She wasn't actually sure whose shot hit the target, but the raider exploded. She half expected Lee to shout with glee, but there was no response from his ship. She looked over and saw him staring blankly at the empty space where the raider had once been. "Lee," she said softly, "let's get back before they jump without us."

It was so soft she barely heard him. "No, he said he'd never leave." She wasn't entirely sure to what Lee was referring. What frightened her most was the total absence of spirit in his voice. There was definitely a problem.