HPmania Chapter 6, a harry potter fanfic

Summary: A collection of songfics that have HP characters in them. Wee!

Characters: Sirius Black

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter! They all belong to J.K Rowling…all of them…although I want Sirius.

Song: I'm still here – Disney's Treasure Planet

I am a question to the world
Not an answer to be heard
Or a moment
That's held in your arms

A 5 year old Sirius Black looked into the cold sapphire eyes of his father. The older man had a look of complete loathing and disgust on his face as he looked upon his first born son.
In the trembling boys hands he held a picture. Smiling happy faces looked out at the world under a sunny sky.
"What do you think this is, Sirius?" asked the man, and a chill ran down Sirius' spine t the harshness of his words. "Do you think life is just fun and games? Do you think everyone is meant to be happy?" he barked, grabbing his son by the collar of his t-shirt. "Don't even think of getting fantasies in your head, boy."

And what do you think you'd ever say?
I won't listen anyway
You don't know me
And I'll never be what you want me to be

An eight year old Sirius grinned as he put the finishing touches on his model racing broom. Polished sleek wood shone with brilliance as pin straight twigs were modeled perfectly. This would make his daddy proud. This time he'd say how good he'd done. The small boy grinned to himself as he scrambled up the stairs of his home, a t-shirt and jeans covering his slim form.
His mother, a tall lady with long sable hair sat in a chair across from the hearth. Next to her in a black armchair was his father, hovering over what seemed to be important documents.
"Um…excuse me, sir." said Sirius quietly.
The man looked up from his paperwork and gave Sirius an irritable glance. "Yes, what is it?" he snapped.
"I'm- I'm sorry to disturb you…it's just I- m-made this," and here the small child produced the tiny figurine.
His father examined it with a cocked eyebrow. "Blacks don't stutter." And with that Mr. Black returned back to his work without another glance at his son.
Sirius was left crestfallen by the door.

And what do you think you'd understand?
I'm a boy, no, I'm a man
You can't take me
And throw me away

A 9 year old Sirius made his way to the back of the ballroom. He pulled nervously at his bow tie and for the life of him couldn't stop shaking. Men and women in grand black dresses or tuxes stood around, chatting nonchalantly.
One woman let out a barking laugh that rang through the whole hall and made Sirius shudder. Where were his mom and dad? Who were all these people? Why wasn't daddy here?
A tall man with platinum blonde hair walked by and Sirius hesitantly stepped forward, tugging slightly on the man's sleeve. "Excuse me sir, can you please tell me where my daddy is?"
The man looked down his sharp pointed nose at the small boy and paid him no mind. He continued walking away.

And how can you learn what's never shown?
Yeah, you stand here on your own
They don't know me
Cause I'm not here

It was later that night when the black haired boy had fallen asleep. He hugged his pillow close to him for warmth, because the window above him had shattered long ago. Bruises and cuts ran the length of his body, and his lip had split, blood trickling onto the pillow. He had just wanted his daddy to love him. Nothing more. He had just wanted to feel wanted by the one he respected and loved. Sirius had tried to change time and time again but to no avail. Nothing is ever good enough for his father. He was never good enough.

Chorus:
And I want a moment to be real
Wanna touch things I don't feel
Wanna hold on and feel I belong
And how can the world want me to change?
They're the ones that stay the same
They don't know me
Cause I'm not here

An 11 year old Sirius walked into Hogwarts for the first time. He was quite a handsome boy with raven hair that ran into azure eyes and pale skin. His body was slim and muscular and a small smirk hung on his lips.
Next to him stood his new friend, James Potter. Ink like hair ran into hazel orbs, framed with long dark lashes. Rounded spectacles hung on the end of his nose as he grinned, clapping a hand to Sirius' shoulder.

And you see the things they never see
All you wanted I could be
Now you know me
And I'm not afraid

Sirius Black was now 14. He collapsed to his knees, his body shaking with silent sobs. He tried to choke back the tears; he tried to hold the pain inside. Sirius could feel it. Slowly eating away at the flesh, killing him inside. Tears slid down his cheeks as raven hair fell around his face like a dark curtain.
A hand touched down on his shoulder and a voice spoke softly to him telling him everything would be alright. Sirius slowly turned around, grabbing the front of James' robes and burying his face in the material. And here he poured his heart out to his best friend. He told him everything until the lump in his throat subsided and his tears stopped flowing. He felt stronger by James' reassuring words and smiles.

And I want to tell you who I am
Can you help me be a man?
They can't break me
As long as I know who I am

A piercing cry echoed through the house as the 14 year old slammed hard against the opposite wall. Sirius' father, Mr. Black, smirked.
"You pathetic slime. Worthless muggle loving scum." said the man as he kicked the boy's stomach.
Sirius gasped in pain, clutching his bruised stomach. "Vile pathetic creature. You're nothing but a worm. A spineless coward."
Sirius wanted to cry, but he wouldn't give his father the satisfaction. James' words rang in his ear and he suddenly felt stronger, and he slowly rose. "I hate you." He hissed, smiling.
Mr. Black was taken aback.
"What was that, boy?" he sneered, raising his wand threateningly.
"You heard me, you sleaze ball. I hate you." Sirius found himself grinning as he straightened up to his full height. "I hate this house. I hate my life. I hate the very ground you stand on! I HATE YOU!"
They can't tell me who to be
Cause I'm not what they see
Yeah, the world is still sleepin while I keep on dreaming for me
And their words are just whispers and lies that I'll never believe

Sirius awoke with a gasp as sweat poured down his face. He looked around frantically, only to see he was in his four-poster bed at Hogwarts. The 14 year old buried his face in his hands, letting the tears loose.

A 36 year old Sirius Black looked upon the grave of his father. Next to him stood the memory of his best friend. Same goofy smile and tousled raven locks. "Thank you."

I'm the one now
Cause I'm still here
I'm the one
Cause I'm still here
I'm still here
I'm still here
I'm still here

(A/N: I am so sorry if that was sucky…Please forgive by reviewing?)