In My Arms Chapter 8: Savin' Me, a csi fanfic

Well here's chapter 8. There's a song in here and it's Nickleback's. And so are the lyrics. The song is 'Savin' Me.'

Sara's POV

God I've sitting in this bar for five hours and I still don't have the answers to my questions. I want to be with Catherine but I can't have her with that dumbass Eddie in the picture. I don't know why but there's this thought in the back of my mind that won't go away. What if she still love's him? Then what will I do? Both her and Lindsey are my family if I loose them then i'm done for. I won't be able to live without them. God if you can hear me, help me.

My fingers play with the beer wrapper on my bottle and I see that it's half way empty. I didn't even know I was drinking it. Come to think of it, I don't know how many beers I've had. The one time I find something I love it gets taken away from me. First i'm stuck with abusive asshole's for parents, then i'm stuck fucking physco foster parents. And now the only two people that I ever loved are probably going to love some other fucking guy. Perfect, just fucking perfect.

"Miss, do you want another?" The bartender, right. "Yeah." I look up at the tv in the corner of the room and see a football game playing. Detroit Lions Vs. Green Bay Packer's. Packer's will win, Detroit Lions just plain suck. I like them but they suck.

The gash on my cheek is still bleeding a little but not as bad as it was four hours ago. I could've easily taken that rat bastard down. I don't know why I held back. I'm in love why should I let one asshole get in the way of what I want. I deserve the right to be happy, after all the shit I've been through. I think I deserve to be happy! Yeah, i'm not going to let a man take my woman and kid away from me!

I pay for my beer's and quickly run out the door. I need Catherine and Lindsey, their my world and i'm not going to loose them to a scum bag. My truck's sitting out back and I run to it. I fumble with key's for not even a second and rush to Catherine's.

The door's locked and again I have to fumble with my keys to get in. I must've been doing ninety cause I got here pretty fast. When I hear the lock click I nearly break it down trying to get in. "Catherine!" The living room's empty. I run into the kitchen and it's also empty, the bedroom's are empty, everything's empty. She's gone, they're gone.

Ok calm down i'm sure she's just out. Try her cell. I quickly dial her number and I get her voice mail. I turn the phone off and slowly set it down on the counter. I see a note on the counter and quickly read it. "Sara, if you read this, I went to talk with Eddie. Catherine." No. "She went back to him. She's gone." My legs give out and I fall on my knees taking a few knives with me.

"It's over. They're gone. Just like that."

Prison gates won't open up for me
On these hands and knees I'm crawlin'Oh, I reach for you
Well I'm terrified of these four walls
These iron bars can't hold my soul in
All I need is you
Come please I'm callin'
And oh I scream for you
Hurry I'm fallin', I'm fallin'

Was I not suppose to be happy? What did I do wrong? I wasn't suppose to protect myself from my parents? I didn't pray enough? I didn't go to church enough? What the hell did I do wrong? I can feel the tears fall down on to my hands. I see the knife beside me. Is that what you want me to do? Just go away and have people just forget about me, make it so I was never even here? I think that works out fine. You get what you wanted God.

Show me what it's like
To be the last one standing
And teach me wrong from right
And I'll show you what I can be
Say it for me
Say it to me
And I'll leave this life behind me
Say it if it's worth saving me

I'll just go away and everyone who ever knew me will forget that I even existed. Maybe death will be more comfortable than this place. I look down at my arm and take off my leather coat. The scars on my wrists stick out sharply and so do the scars up my arm. "I'll leave knowing that life sucks ass." I pull the cigarettes out of my pocket and light one. "Before I go I want a cigarette."

Heaven's gates won't open up for me
With these broken wings I'm fallin'
And all I see is you
These city walls ain't got no love for me
I'm on the ledge of the eighteenth story
And oh I scream for you
Come please I'm callin'
And all I need from you
Hurry I'm fallin', I'm fallin'

All I need is you
Come please I'm callin'
And oh, I scream for you
Hurry I'm fallin', I'm fallin'

Who know's maybe this thing will kill me before the blade does. I've been smoking for a while maybe this will be the one to kill me. "Catherine i'm sorry, Lindsey i'm sorry. I let you guy's go. I let you guy's go over a stupid argumentAnd the stupid argument was over a ass wipe. I'm so sorry.

Hurry I'm fallin'

I pull the knife up off the floor and lean up against the counter. Here I am sitting on the floor looking up at the ceiling. How pathetic. I pull the knife across my arms a few times to calm my nerves. The blood trickling down my arm reminds me of the first time I did this. It was comforting and it felt so damn good, but now it's barely comforts me. Doesn't matter it'll all be over in a few seconds. I pull the blade across my wrist digging deep into my skin, and then I do the same to the other. The knife falls from my hands and my hands rest at my sides. I cut a bit deep. But who cares.

I see a pool of red at both my sides and i'm glad to know its my blood. Now I just gotta let time set in and then i'm good to go. I hear the door open and I turn my head to see who it is and it's Catherine. "Sara!" She pulls me into her arms and it's comforting. I can't move at all. I've lost too much blood. "God Sara what happened?" She grabs the nearest thing she can to stop the bleeding and its my coat. She wraps the sleeves tightly around my wrists and stares at me.

"You and Lindsey left me for a fucking ass wipe." I'm to weak to speak up so my voice is a whisper. "No hunny, I would never leave you for Eddie, I'd never leave you for anybody." She has tears in her eyes and rub them away with my thumb. "I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have..." Her lips are on mine before I could finish and her kiss is full of love and it shows me just how much she cares. "Your not leaving me. I won't let you." Her words, they're all I need to hear. "I'm not leaving you."

Well there's chapter 8. Yeah I decided to get a little angsty here. Again the song is Nickleback's 'Savin' Me' so the lyrics are there's and you know how the disclaimer works. So all that's left is to say send a review.