Since their conversation in the galley, he hadn't seen her much – mostly at meals, sometimes from a distance. He noticed that her brother seemed to be stayin' mighty close to her.

Right now, Jayne sat in the galley with the rest of the crew, where they all tended to gather at the end of the day, after eating their evening meal together. He'd noticed that the doc was keepin' her on his side of the table, these days, too.

He shook his head and went back to sewing up the rip in the knee of his favorite pants, the ones with all the pockets. He'd run out of guns to clean and knives to sharpen, though he could have found one if he'd been able to talk Kaylee into doing this sewing for him. Unfortunately, she'd only laughed when he'd done his best to wheedle her into doing it, and he'd laughed back. It had been worth a try, but he hadn't figured any of the women on Serenity were going to do his sewing . As a result, these were gonna be some sorry-lookin' britches, but what could a man do?

Mal and Inara were engaged in what looked like a do-or-die chess match, egged on by Zoe and Wash. Zoe, of course, was trying to advise Inara, who didn't look like she needed any help, and Wash was doing his best to help out Mal, and only getting him in more trouble. Jayne shook his head slightly. Looked kinda like Zoe and Wash needed to get their own game, but still – they all looked like they was havin' fun.

Simon was trying to teach Kaylee and Book some kind of card game while River looked on, her eyes slightly unfocussed. She looked either bored to tears, or…. drugged completely stupid.

Jayne's eyes sharpened on her. Was the doc keepin' her drugged beyond reason now that he was afraid she was wandering around the ship in the middle of the night? His head tilted to the side, studying her for a moment, then went back to his sewing. Wasn't none of his business if the doc thought dopin' her was for the best. Hell, a couple a' weeks ago, he might of suggested it himself. Course, that was before he realized that she was just talkin' in a code most of the time. He didn't pretend to know why she did it or what she was sayin', but since the thought had occurred to him, he hadn't been able to shake it. He just wasn't sure how crazy she actually was.

Unknown to him, Mal's eyes had come to rest on him while he studied River, and had dropped back to the chess board with hardly a pause. But his interest hadn't gone unnoticed.

Later, as the group began to retire, one by one and two by two, Jayne also gathered his supplies, thinking he would head down to the cargo bay to work out, then on to his bunk.

Just as Book, the doc and River headed out the door toward the passenger dorms, Mal slid into the seat opposite him at the table.

"A moment of your time, please," Mal said in a soft voice.

Jayne looked up, surprised, still winding thread back around a spool. "Yeah, Mal, what's up?" he asked.

Mal looked at him for a moment, his dark eyes unreadable. "That's what I'd like to know," he finally said.

Jayne's mind went blank for a moment while he tried futilely to figure out what he'd done. Finally, he just looked at Mal and said, "What're you talkin' about Mal?"

Mal's eyes narrowed. "Had a talk with the doc day before yesterday, and he had an awful interestin' tale for me, Jayne. Said he caught you here in the kitchen with his sister in the middle of the night. What you got to say about that?"

Jayne was momentarily thrown. Then, he was angry. "Well," he said, "I ain't got nothin' to say about it," he growled. "I didn't do nothin' wrong, and neither did she. I ran across her down in the cargo bay and we both had a taste for apples is all. Nothin' else to it."

Mal arched an eyebrow. "You ran across her in the cargo bay and the two of you just decided to come down here and … hang out? That's your story?"

Jayne made every effort to remain calm. "Yeah, Mal," he said, his voice like ice. "That's my story."

Mal shook his head. "Well, c'mon, Jayne," he said. "You gotta look at this from my point of view. Knowin' what I know, if ya know what I mean."

Jayne knew exactly what Mal was referrin' to – his betrayal of the Tams on Ariel. He ground his teeth.

"Look, Mal," he said. "She came down there while I was workin' out, and she was – she was cryin' and stuff. It made me feel bad – real bad. Like when that dumb kid got hisself killed down in Canton. And the next thing I know, she's talkin' to me, and I'm kinda understandin' her. And then, she wanted an apple, so I came down here with her and had one, too. Then that snarky-ass brother of hers come down here and acted like he smelled somethin' bad, and took her back to the dorms. And that's all that happened. I swear."

Mal looked at him steadily, and Jayne prayed that he could read the honesty in his eyes. "Her brother says the girl has mentioned your name a couple of times. He says he thinks you might have done something or said something that was out of line. Did you?"

Jayne thought of the long moment when River had laid her wet cheek against his chest, how she'd cried against him and drug an apology out of him for his betrayal. Had he done something wrong? He didn't think so. "No," he said to Mal. "I didn't do nothin' that was out of line, and I didn't say nothin', either. Hell, I'm startin' to get used to her."

Both of Mal's eyebrows shot up at this. "You're getting' used to her?" he said, disbelievingly. "Really?"

Jayne shrugged. "It was either that, or toss her out of the closest airlock," he muttered. "Course, I ain't decided about that damn brother of hers, him causin' me all this trouble."

Mal shook his head. "Look, Jayne," he said. "His sister's all he's got. He gave up everything to get her out of that place, and he worries about her. Hell, we all do. I'm just sayin' if he doesn't want you around her, do your best to avoid her. Let's not have trouble over this, all right?"

Jayne felt unfairly treated, but he just pressed his lips in a grim line and kept winding thread around the spool.

"Alright?" Mal asked again, commanding his compliance.

Despite his vow to himself that he wasn't going to do it, Jayne couldn't help himself. "No, gorramit," he growled, "it ain't alright!"

He stood and walked to the end of the table, then turned back to a baffled-looking Mal. "Did you see her, tonight, Mal?" he asked. "That damn brother of hers has given up trying to cure her, he's – he's -" Jayne struggled for words, as he often had to. "He's druggin' her just to keep'er quiet – to keep'er from doin' whatever it is he don't approve of. That ain't right, is it?"

Mal's face looked as if he more than half thought Jayne was having a joke on him. Then his eyebrows came together as he considered Jayne's words.

Then, softly, he said, "Now, Jayne, tell me the truth. Is there somethin' goin' on between you and the girl that I should know about?"

"Jesus, Mal!" Jayne exploded. "She's just a – a kid! And she ain't even all there! I may be stupid, but I ain't stupid like that, and you should know it!"

Mal raised a hand in a conciliatory gesture. "Alright," he said, "I believe you." Then he shook his head. "I think this is a very odd development, but…"he sighed. "I believe you." He sighed. "I'll talk to Simon about… about maybe not druggin' her so much – but frankly, I gotta tell ya – I find her safer to be around this way. I do like her quiet."

Jayne just shook his head. "Maybe you should try listenin' to her, Mal," he said quietly. "I swear, I think she may be talkin' in some kinda – some kinda code, or somethin', because I almost understood what it was she was tryin' to talk to me about."

Mal just looked at him quizzically for a moment, then said, "Jayne, if you're havin' me on, now would be a good time to just admit it. We'll have a good laugh and move on."

Jayne shoved the thread in the pocket of the pants he'd been working on, and shrugged. Then he looked at Mal over his shoulder, as if he couldn't quite stand to meet his gaze head on. "You know what the doc said when he was scannin' her brain, Mal? He said that whatever those people did to her, they cut open her brain and made it so she couldn't not feel everything all the time." Then he turned to face the captain. "Can you imagine what that must be like? All the time?"

Jayne put on palm flat on the table, and leaned closer to Mal. "Now imagine what it would be like if you not only couldn't stop feeling all your own stuff all the time, but you started feelin' everybody else's stuff too. Might make ya a little crazy, huh?"

He shook his head. "I just feel kinda – I don't know – sorry for her, I guess. She can't help bein' a pain in the ass." Jayne straightened. "That brother o' hers, though, what's his gorram excuse?"

Mal just kept looking at him like he'd grown an extra set of ears, until Jayne snapped, "What?!"

Mal shook his head slightly, as if to clear it. "Are we talkin' about the same girl that cut you open here in this same kitchen?" he asked acidly. "The very same girl you been campaigning against since the minute she got here? That Tam gir?"

Jayne looked down sulkily, then back at Mal. "Yeah," he said. "What if I am?"

Mal shook his head wryly. "Just makin' sure we're talkin' about the same thing, here."

Finally, Jayne just shook his head. "You know what, Mal?" he said. "Just forget it. You're right. I ain't got nothin' to talk to that messed up kid about, anyway, and it ain't none of my business if that brother of hers wants to drug her from here to kingdom come. I just don't wanna talk about it no more."

He stomped out, ducking through the too-low portal, newly sewn pants clenched in his fist, leaving a genuinely confused Mal sitting alone at the table. After a while, Mal just blinked.

Then he made for Inara's shuttle.

(20 minutes later)

"So… you're telling me that Jayne – our Jayne – has taken, if not a liking, then a … tolerance for River?" Inara asked, as she poured Mal a second cup of tea. "Jayne?"

Mal nodded. "I know, right? It's weird." His eyes met hers over the edge of the tea cup. "You don't think there's anything… else goin' on, do ya?"

Inara thought for a moment, sipping her own tea. "Well…" she said, "stranger things have happened than a man Jayne's age getting interested in a pretty girl like River." She paused, then continued. "But I haven't seen anything that would suggest that, and believe me - Jayne would be completely incapable of hiding something like that from me. I can read him like a book."

That piqued Mal's interest. "Oh?" he asked. "Been checkin' out our Jayne, have you?"

Inara's disparaging look made Mal smile to himself.

"As if," she said. "What I'm trying to say is that I'm trained in body language. Someone like Jayne is completely incapable of keeping something like that a secret from anyone with training."

Mal nodded. Then – "You think it could turn into somethin' else?"

Inara considered her tea for a moment. "Well," she said slowly, "opposites do attract, and sometimes people are so off balance by themselves that when they find someone who balances them, they both fall naturally together… Think about Wash and Zoe, for example."

Mal looked at her consideringly, not thinking of Wash and Zoe at all. Then he shook his head. Back to business. "So, you think something… inappropriate could crop up between Jayne and River."

Inara shrugged. "If you consider it inappropriate."

Mal's eyes widened. "Well – I do consider it inappropriate," he nearly stuttered. "I know on Sihnon y'all got an open attitude to sex and all, but that's just a defenseless little girl, and I don't approve of -"

Inara's laugh interrupted Mal's tirade, much to his further indignation. "Mal," she said, indulgently, "if you want to protest against the inappropriateness of Jayne and River, that's your business. But let it be for some reason better than her age – for surely age is just a measurement of experience and emotional maturity. She's had plenty of adult experiences, very adult and horrible experiences – and let's face it. Jayne is not the very picture of maturity. Who's to say they aren't made for each other?"

Mal slammed his tea cup down on the tabletop and stood. "I'm to say they ain't made for each other, that's who!" he stated. "It ain't gonna happen on this ship, and that's the end of it."

Inara stood then, too, her chin up, her eyes meeting his. "Mal," she said softly, "if you have issues with people on this ship having relationships, let them remain your issues. You came here to ask my advice, and here it is. Stay out of it. It's just none of your business." She glanced down at the tea cup. "And now, if you're finished manhandling my fragile things, I think I'd like to turn in."

And with Inara's gentle gesture toward the door of her shuttle, Mal somehow found himself locked out.

Jayne, meanwhile, was still steaming. Mal thought he was sexin' the Tam girl! He wasn't sure if he'd ever felt so insulted in his life. Yeah, she was pretty, sure – but she was crazy, and just a kid. He might be a lot o' things, but he was not a rapist. Hell, he had a sister!

Despite not needing a cleaning, Vera sat before him on the small table in his berth, pieces layed out neatly in a row. Even though she didn't need cleaning, taking her apart and putting her back together again always soothed his temper. The metallic slide and click of the pieces going back together was a sound he never tired of, and watching her take shape under his hands reassured him that there was something he was good at.

However, after dissembling and reassembling her three times, he barely felt any better at all.

Hell and damnation. He sighed. This was gonna be a long trip.

Feeling restless, he had to get out of his room and roam. Maybe he'd head down to the engine room and see what Kaylee was up to. Sometimes she was listenin' to that music that he liked, and though he'd never admit it to her, it was her musical taste as much as anything that sometimes drew him down there.

Somehow, though, his feet didn't lead him down to the engine room at all, and he found himself on the cats over the main cargo bay where he'd had that initial conversation with River. 'Forgiveness', she'd said. 'For you, from you.' She was tellin' him to get over it, he got that. So she wouldn't have to suffer for it any more. And so he'd tried to stop thinkin' about it. It was over.

He leaned his elbows on the railing. Or, more likely, it might never be over til they wasn't all together on this boat no more. Maybe he should move on when they docked on Artemis and find other work. Hell, there was lots o' work to be found on Artemis, it was just a matter of lookin'. And, he had some scratch saved up if he had to wait on the right job, if it came to that.

"Wrong answer," she said behind him.

He shook his head, not even surprised, then looked over his shoulder. She was wearing that oversized pink sweater with the long black skirt, and once again, her feet were bare.

"You gonna get blisters on yer feet walkin up on these cats with no shoes," he said, referring to the metal grating they were both standing on. Then he turned back to the darkened cargo bay.

She leaned back on the railing beside him. "Aren't you going to ask me to explain?" she asked.

"Nope."

"When I said sin, I was referring to the Bible. In the Garden of Eden, Eve offers Adam an apple, the fruit of the Tree of Knowledge. When they eat it, they both realize the difference between right and wrong."

He turned to look at her. "And that's supposed to mean what to me?"

She looked back at him steadily, more steadily than he'd ever seen her. "Do you know the difference between right and wrong?" she asked.

His eyes narrowed on her. "You're different," he said, then corrected himself as she raised one eyebrow. "No, I mean – different than how you usually are."

She turned and imitated his posture exactly, her elbows resting on the safety rail, one foot raised to rest on the lowest one. She looked down on the bay.

Without looking at him, she finally said, "Let's just say I'm having a sane moment." Her head bowed and her hair obscured her profile. Unable to watch her, Jayne stared back down at the cargo bay as well.

After thinkin' on it a minute and casting a sideways glance in her direction, Jayne said, "What're you lookin' so down about it for? I was thinkin' you'd like a minute or two of sanity."

She half-smiled but didn't look at him. "I might, except it only means that I'm aware of how quickly it's going to pass. Can you imagine how much worse it is to know you're insane?"

Jayne thought about it, then shook his head. "I guess I never thought about it that way," he admitted. "I ain't exactly the brightest light in the box, though."

She gave him a quick sideways glance. "There are many kinds of intelligence," she said. "You have a different way of processing information, that's all."

Jayne raised one eyebrow and huffed disbelievingly, still not looking at her. Then, without even knowing what he was going to say – ""What was those people trying to do to you?"

River closed her eyes. "They were trying to create a weapon."

"What kinda weapon?"

He looked at her in the semi-darkness, and thought he saw her bottom lip jut out like she was gonna cry again, and immediately felt like a bastard. But before he could take back his question, she spoke, her voice dry and emotionless.

"The kind of weapon that could kill a thousand people in their dreams and dream itself of neck bones breaking beneath it's bare feet. A weapon that never tires of killing but is just human enough to smell humanity. A weapon that has no heart to break and no mercy…" she said. "A weapon that can take complicated orders."

For a shaming moment, Jayne felt fear streak through him at her description. And on it's heels, pity. What had they done to her? What had the doc said, that she was fourteen

when they took her? Good gorram, what had they done? Still, he had to ask.

"And did they?"

Finally, she looked at him again, and completely at odds with her dry voice, her eyes were wet.

"Close enough," she said. Then she rested her forehead on her crossed wrists on the safety rail.

Jayne didn't know what to do, and shifted from foot to foot uncomfortably before fixing his gaze again on the near darkness below him.

"Yer brother told Mal he found us in the kitchen together," he finally said. "And Mal don't want me talkin' to ya no more."

She didn't move, just stood there with her forehead resting her crossed wrists, so he went on.

"I think yer brother and Mal might think somethin' – well - " Jayne searched for the word. "Inappropriate," he finally said, uncomfortably. "I think they think somethin' wrong might have gone on that night."

River turned her head just enough to be able to look at him with one eye. Then she surprised him. "Since when do you care what people think?"

"Well, I - " Jayne was stumped for a second. Then – "Well, I gotta work here, so I gotta care what my captain thinks," he said. "We can't afford for there to be no personal troubles between all of us out here in the black – that sorta thing gets folk killed."

She straightened and looked at him full on. "I'm falling back into darkness, now," she said hollowly. "Losing cohesion, breaking into fractal patterns of sadness and need and fear," she said.

Something clutched at Jayne's stomach, something he couldn't name. "Go back down to yer brother's quarters, then," he said. "He can help you – I can't."

"No!" she suddenly cried out. "His fear becomes my fear becomes his fear becomes my fear," she began to babble. "It's worse, it's worse than being alone, worse than being anywhere!" Suddenly she began to shake her head wildly from side to side. "Your wrong answer is my answer," she suddenly said. "Your wrong answer – going away, yes – yes, to be alone – maybe that is the answer -"

Jayne was shocked at how quickly she sank into her illness again, worse than he had ever seen her.

As she continued to talk to herself, he stepped toward her. "River!" he said in his most commanding voice.

She stopped in mid-sentence, staring into his eyes.

"Stop," he said, his eyes searching into hers. "It's like when you're waitin' for the perfect shot, and you can't afford to miss it. You gotta think one thought at a time and stay real slow and quiet." She continued to stare at him with wide eyes. "You doin' that?" he asked.

After a moment, she said, "No," and her voice was shaking.

"Try countin' backwards," he said. "I used ta do that when I was getting' nervous," he admitted, not realizing he was admitting that he'd ever been nervous.

She tried to smile and failed. "Jayne," she said, "I can count prime numbers back from the millions and still have a thousand other thoughts - " Suddenly, she broke off.

Seeing the odd look on her face, he took another step toward her.

Without warning, her eyes rolled back in her head and she fainted.

Shades of her first day here, when he had run through the ship carrying Kaylee, only this time, he was carrying her, and she was so much more fragile, he could feel it. As he ran for the infirmary, she began to convulse.

He ran faster.

At the door to the infirmary, he stopped, still trying to hold her as he called the doc on the com. Finally pressing the button that broadcasted to the entire ship, he yelled, "Doc! Get down to the infirmary, RIGHT NOW!" Then he layed River on the exam table and tried to hold her as she convulsed again.

Panic coursed through him. What was takin' the damn doc so long? C'mon, c'mon! he thought, as the convulsions continued. What if she died? His mind stuck on an endless track of meaningless questions. Had he somehow caused this? What was wrong with her?

Finally, the doc raced though the portal, Reverend Book right on his heels.

The doctor never missed a step, just flew through the door and pushed Jayne violently away from the exam table. "Get off her!" he yelled. Then, to Book, he said – " Open that case and give me the prepped syringe – no – the blue one!"

And from there it began to pass in a blur. The captain arrived, with Kaylee, Wash and Zoe right behind. Finally, Inara arrived, just as River's convulsions began to subside.

As the girl on the table finally began to quiet, Simon turned to Jayne. "What did you do to her?" he asked. Then, louder, as he stepped around the table. "What did you do to her!" And just like that, Simon was on him. Jayne did his best not to hurt the smaller man, just pushed him away, hard, sending him spinning into the counter at the side of the room. Then Mal and Wash stepped between them, Mal holding a wild-looking Simon in a hard grip around the smaller man's chest.

"Calm the hell down!" Mal yelled, and Simon abruptly stopped struggling, but his blue eyes spat hatred across the room at Jayne.

"What did you do to her?" he demanded again.

Jayne rubbed the back of his hand over the corner of his mouth where Simon had gotten in his one shot. "I didn't do nothin' to her," he said. "I found'er up in the cat-walks – we talked for a few minutes and I told her to come back down here. Then her eyes just sorta rolled back and she come to kickin' and convulsin'." Jayne's eyes fell on the now quiet girl. "Is she… is she gonna be alright?" he asked.

Kaylee stepped up to Simon, put one hand on his arm. "Simon," she said, "take a deep breath. You gotta think about helpin' River." Simon glanced at Kaylee, then back at Jayne. Then his gaze turned to River.

Kaylee's gaze met Mal's over Simon's shoulder, and Mal nodded. She was doin' right, calmin' him down.

Meanwhile, Jayne saw another meaning. He stomped from the infirmary.

Mal stomped after him. "Jayne!" he said. "I wanna talk to you!"

Jayne stopped, then looked back over his shoulder. "I didn't do nothin' to her, Mal," he said quietly. "I ain't the one you should be lookin' at."

Mal's eyes narrowed. "What's that supposed to mean?" he finally asked.

Jayne shook his head. "Why did he already have that medicine prepped and ready to go?" he asked Mal. When Mal looked confused, Jayne grimaced. "Maybe you oughta be havin' questions for somebody else is all I'm sayin. Now, if you don't mind, I gotta go clean my guns."