Magali and Juxi – Thank you so much for the feedback!!!

There are some things about the whole Tess incidence that has been changed and it will become evident in this part.

Five

A large explosion rocks the ground beneath their feet and metallic larva spills out of the cave in front of her eyes as the transport device, more commonly known as the Granolith, disappears through the clouds.

She feels his arms clutching her tightly against his warm chest and she fights, God does she fight, to work up the courage to go through with her plan.

She is looking up at him as he turns his head towards her, after the Granolith has disappeared out of sight. But before he is given the opportunity to speak, she begins, "Max, we need to talk. Could you meet up with me in an hour, my place?"

She can tell that her request doesn't surprise him. After everything that has transpired between them, it's the least he expects.
"Okay," he says.

The dream swirls and blurs, to seamlessly merge with a later event, as if the two events are irrevocably interwoven.

His fingers rap softy against her window and she pivots on her heels towards the sound. How many times has she seen him sitting outside her window like that, looking at her through that glass? Sadness gradually eats away at her strength as she unlocks the window for him and he climbs through.

"Thanks for coming," she says.

The politeness causes Max to smile awkwardly and they both realize for a second how much things have changed between them.

"What's up?" he asks casually.

"Uhm," she wrings her hands in her lap as she takes a seat on the bed.

She can see the hesitation in Max's movement as he sits down on her bed and she knows what memory is haunting him at that point. Should she tell him? It wasn't on her agenda to tell him about the future version of him visiting her half a year ago. That visit from the future is currently so far into the past that it has taken on a surreal quality and more than once has Liz speculated about its existence and if in reality she was the one to push Max away, without the help of a certain long-haired man.

"Lots of things have happened recently," she starts softly.

"Understatement," Max mumbles and there's resentment in his voice.

Alex's death is at the foremost of her mind, but right behind falls Tess' betrayal and her recent departure from earth. Tess almost succeeded in luring Max, Michael and Isabel away from Earth, but Liz's discovery about the identity of her friend's murderer created a last-minute obstacle in the path of those plans.

"I need to say something," Max says before Liz has a chance to open her mouth. "Tess and I-"

"Please, Max, I don't want to know," Liz pleads.

"You need to know this, Liz," Max protests. Liz nods numbly. "She…she got into my head. I won't blame my behavior these last couple of weeks on her, because I'm accountable for my own actions, but she was close to leaving…uhm…irreparable damage."

Liz swallows the nausea, not wanting to ask, but her curiosity gets the best out of her. "What do you mean?"

"She…she tried to seduce me…"

Liz looks away.

"Please, Liz…"

She reluctantly turns to face him again.

"After I saw you in bed with Kyle-"

"Max, about that-"

"No, let me continue."

She sighs. "Okay."

"I just… I lost something that night, Liz. I don't know what, but…the only way to explain it is that it was easier to listen to Tess after that. Easier to believe her lies."

"So it's my fault," Liz says grimly.

"Don't do that," Max warns.

"I'm not doing anything," Liz snaps.

Max opens his mouth to deliver a sharp comment, but stops himself and sighs, rubbing his hands over his face. "I'm tired of fighting you, Liz. I miss us. I miss what we had."

She remains quiet. What can she say about that? He kissed Tess soon after her arrival, which was the first time Liz had reasons to doubt his faithfulness, but Liz still believes that she herself is the one to blame, having arranged that bed scene with Kyle for Max to see and believe. Their fighting had started after that.

"When you were about to leave for Sweden, I thought I had lost you forever. Tess was there…"

Her heart begins to ache and she looks away, unable to look at him anymore. "What are you saying?" she whispers so quietly that he can barely make out the words.

"She… we went to the conservatorium and she… we…"

"Just say it already!" Liz cries.

"We kissed."

Liz nods. It hurts. It hurts like hell. But he has the right to kiss another girl because, "We were not together. It's okay."

He looks down at his hands and continues to speak, and she wants to sink through the bed. He's not finished. "The kiss grew…into more…and…clothes were removed."

Liz is openly crying now. Is he trying to kill her? "So you had sex? Just say it, Max!"

"No. No, we didn't."

She didn't know how much a confirmation would have shattered her world until he refuted her suspicions and she collapses in a heap of relieved tears.

He just looks at her as she cries, knowing that he lost the privilege to touch her a long time ago. It's not his role to comfort her any longer.

After her sobs subside, he prods her gently, "What did you want to talk to me about?"

She wipes the tears off her cheeks and heaves a shuddering breath. "About Kyle. Just know that it never happened."

Max stares at her. "What?"

"We didn't have sex."

Max looks at her dumbfounded. "What? Why…why would you make me believe that?"

She recognizes the concealed anger in his voice as expertly as she knows the insides of her back pocket. "I needed you to believe that I slept with Kyle."

"Why?"

He's hurt. Even through their badly severed connection she can feel it, thanks to his proximity.

She tiredly squeezes her eyes together. She is so tired of all of this. Which reminds her of what she has to do, why she has invited Max over.

"I can't tell you."

"Liz," Max warns.

Liz jerks her head around to face him and fires him a warning glare. "Don't even…"

He meets her eyes and must see the warning there, because he decides to suppress his instinct to boss people around.

"I…"

"Nothing good can come out of you knowing the reasons, Max," Liz says. "I just needed you to know that nothing ever happened between Kyle and me. He helped me, without questions, so don't ever blame him, okay?"

Max nods weakly and Liz takes another breath. "Okay… Now, for my request."

"Your request?"

She hints fear in his eyes and she doesn't blame him. They've been through enough to anticipate anything to be thrown in their direction, and that usually means bad news.

"I want out."

"You want out," he repeats, slowly.

"Yes, I want out. I want out of the alien abyss."

"Liz, I… I'm sorry. I never meant to-"

"No, Max. Your apologies are too late. I can't take this anymore. I want out. I want a normal life. I was lying to you before, the night before you found me with Kyle, about wanting a normal life. I was lying then, but I'm not lying now. These last months…" She stares off in the distance when Alex's happy face flashes before her mental eye, "I can't take it anymore. I want to be free."

He stares at her for the longest time and she has to look away when she sees a tear tumble down his cheek, quickly followed by another.

"You want out?" he repeats thickly.

She just nods, not trusting her voice enough to speak. Why was he making her feel like she wanted to take back what she had wanted to tell him for weeks now? Long minutes of silence elapse before Max reaches over and grabs her hand from where it is resting in her lap. He wraps her much smaller hand in his two much larger ones.

As if his heart is being ripped out with the word he says, "Okay."

"Okay?" Her voice sounds foreign to her own ears, sounds small and weak.

He brings her hand to his lips and places a kiss in the centre of her palm. "Okay."

Her eyes wander over his face and she wonders if she should ask her next request. She could just move away from Roswell and start a new life. She does not have to ask this of him. Alex's face once again springs up in her mind and she sighs deeply, regretfully. She wouldn't be able to forget. She needs to forget. For the pain to go away, she needs to forget.

"Max," she coaxes and he meets her eyes. She bites her lip and closes her eyes when she finishes her sentence, because she can't bear the expression on his face when she tells him that she doesn't want to remember him, remember them. "I need you to help me forget."

"What do you mean?"

She hears his voice but her eyes remain closed. "Can you block memories? You can, right? I need you to remove all memories that are associated with…the alien abyss."

She hangs her head when he doesn't respond, but she can't get herself to open her eyes and look at him.

"You want to forget?"

She hears the tears in his voice and it's almost her undoing. "Yes. Is that possible?"

The restrained tears escape her as he softly cradles her face in his hands, turning her face towards him. It makes her wonder; is this it? Is he going to do it right now?

"Please, look at me?"

She takes a deep breath and opens her eyes. Max is crying, tears silently rolling down his cheeks, strongly contrasting the inner turmoil. Those eyes, the eyes that have the power to do anything to her. Make her laugh, cry, angry, snap, hurt, make her want him, comfort him, love him. Those eyes are filled with more anguish than she has ever known.

"Please, don't," she begs, not knowing what she is asking for. For him to not hurt? For him to stop making her look at him in this state? For him to not do what she just asked him to?

"I've screwed up so much since that day in September two years ago," he says softly. "But you always remained pure. I don't know why – how - I could lose track of that. I don't know why I stopped listen to you, because I did. I did. I was too caught up in my own self-blame to realize that I was pushing you away. And when I did, it was too late and I could only push you further. It was weak, I admit. I could have – should have – fought harder. I should have fought for you, but I didn't, and I'm so sorry, Liz. I've always loved you. Even when I was screaming at you, I loved you. I still don't know how I could treat you like that, but I will be kicking myself for it for the rest of my life. I never wanted to hurt you-"

"Shh…" she silences, brushing the tears away from his cheeks with her thumb. "I love you, Max. I do. I just… my heart can't take any more."

He nods, resignation seeping out of his every pore.

"I need to think about it. Can I think about it?" he asks.

She closes her eyes and nods. She's asking him to erase himself from her memory, of course he can think about it.

"I'll be back tonight," he whispers.

He pulls his hands away from her face, and prepares to stand, but she reaches out and puts her arms around his neck, pulling him close to her. She senses his surprise, but then he folds his arms around her back and hugs her tightly, desperately.

Liz turns in her sleep, tears wetting her pillow. But the dreamworld is not finished with her. It blurs and skips a couple of hours.

TBC...

Only one chapter left… Thank you for reading!