A/N: Yes, I posted a day early, but that's because I was extremely bored…and I felt like it. So…I feel like I'm losing my wittiness or something and that scares me. I have these funny plans and then when I write them…they're not as funny as they were inside my head…and that saddens me…so I apologize. Hopefully, I'll get my act together by the next chapter…but all the same, I hope you liked this chapter anyway. Thanks for the reviews

And Crick118:- can you just like, be my new best friend?-you're amazing!

Chapter Seven: STDS, Break-ups, and Sexy Arses

"I just don't understand Draco, why can't we kiss? I thought you liked it." whined Ron.

"Listen, it's not like I don't want to kiss you", what a down- right lie, "I can't. I fear that if I kiss you again, it might cause…other things to happen" (Draco's eyes twitched at these words) "…and, I can't do that to you."

"I'm still confused."

"Well, you would be."

"Why don't you want 'other stuff' to happen…I certainly wouldn't mind…" he trailed off looking at Draco hopefully.

Draco turned his head away from Ron, so he didn't see the look of disgust on his face. He had to dump this kid. It was just too much! The pain! The suffering! He took a deep breath, braving himself for another false confession. He was good at those.

"Ryan, listen. It's not that I don't like you; we just can't be together anymore. I care about you too much to hurt you."

Ron gritted his teeth. "My name is Ron."

Draco waved his hand, "Oh pish-posh."

"Alright…answer this then. How would having sex with me, hurt me?"

Draco bit his lip. He felt the wheels spinning in his head, there had to be something that would make Ron willingly want to leave him…but what? He scratched his head glancing around the room, there was a Potions book lying half-heartedly on a chair: Possible Potions: Aid those in need of care includes Spell damage potions…wait a minute…aid…

"I…I…well, this is really hard to say. I should really just come out with it. But, it's hard…"

"I'm listening, Draco. Go on."

"I…well. I…" Draco paused for a dramatic effect. "I have…AIDS."

Ron stared at him with furrowed eyebrows. "….What the hell is aids?"

Oh, fuck. I thought he would know what it was. I barely know what it is, how am I supposed to explain it?

"It's well, a disease. A…erm muggle disease. It's bad, deadly. So…we just have to stop. Now. Alright?"

Ron's shoulders slumped and he frowned, eyes downcast. He glanced back up at Draco. "You're sure then, this is it?"

Draco nodded sadly. (Well, not really sadly, but he was a good actor).

"Alright, well…it's been great being with you. So. I guess I'll just…see you around? Sorry this didn't turn out well, and I'm sorry that you have AIDS…did you need me to like, give blood or something?"

"Sorry Ron, you're not my type." said Draco smirking.

"Alright. Well. Bye."

Ron left, shoulders hunched, destined for the library. He was going to have to find out more about AIDS.

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As soon as Ron was out of sight, Draco ducked into a classroom and jumped in the air whooping. This was absolutely fan-fucking-tastic! No more Ron following him, now he could devote all his time to wooing, yes, wooing, Harry Potter than hiding from that stupid Gryffindor.

"Wow. Someone's happy."

Draco whipped around, his wand at the ready; and then relaxed visibly when he saw who it was. His left hand still clutched at his heart, his right arm slowly lowering his black wand.

"Shit, Potter! You don't just do that to someone! I could have had a heart attack!"

"Aw, that would have made me very sad. I would never have bonded with my new friend, Drrraaaccoooo. Ew, god…that was weird. Draco is such a fucked up name…you need a nick name!"

"Thanks Potter. No need to know what your parents were smoking when they named you Haarrryyy." He sneered"Wow. You're right, saying your name is weird."

"Hmm…maybe I should just name you after some of your moves you just performed for me in that little happy dance?" Harry grinned evilly at Draco.

Draco visibly paled. "You saw…that?"

"Oh yes, very…posh of you, Draco." said Harry, waggling his eyebrows.

Draco glared at him. "This never leaves the room."

"Fine." said Harry, laughing at Draco's expression. "What are you so thrilled about, anyway?"

Draco glanced around the room, not meeting Harry's eyes. He brought his hand over his mouth. "Ijstfbrokpwifrn"

"Sorry, didn't catch that."

Draco sighed and lowered his hand. Still not meeting Harry's eyes he spoke, "I…um…just broke up with…Ron." he glanced up at Harry, curious to see his expression. He got even more nervous when he saw that he couldn't read Harry's face.

Harry looked at Draco, feeling…odd. He didn't know if he was happy, upset, annoyed…mostly he was just confused.

Draco bit his lip, and screwed up his face and tensed, ready for a full blown Potter attack. But none came.

"You-you did?"

Draco opened his one eye. When he saw that Harry didn't have his wand out, fist raised, or even look remotely angry, he relaxed. "Yes." he mumbled.

Suddenly Harry started bursting out laughing. He grabbed onto a desk for support, and then just fell down anyway, laughing down right hysterically. Draco looked at him in shock for a few minutes, but when Harry didn't stop laughing, Draco just joined in.

"What's so funny, Harry?" he asked breathlessly, holding his stomach in between fits of giggles. Oh yes, the Slytherin Ice Prince, was indeed, a giggler.

"That's what you were so happy about? I thought you loved him! You practically jumped into his arms when you first admitted it." Harry unexpectedly stopped laughing. "Wait…you did like him… didn't you?"

"Well, erm. It's difficult to explain."

"I've got time."

Draco was panicking…he had to come up with another stroke of brilliance. "I'm- oh I'm delusional!" he shrieked throwing himself onto Harry.

Harry shoved Draco off him. "Oh cut the crap, Malfoy. You're not delusional. Now what's going on? You asked to date him for god's sake! Why would you date him if you didn't like him?"

"To make someone jealous."

"Who?"

"One of Ron's friends…"

"Oh…AWW! Draco, that's so adorably cute!"

Draco sniffed. "I am not cute."

"Yes, Draco that is cute, why didn't you just tell me?"

"That's hardly the thing you just tell your enemy of six years."

"Why not, I bet that person likes you too."

"You think so?" asked Draco, suddenly extremely hopeful.

"Yeah! In fact, I can ask her tomorrow morning."

"Wait- what?"

"Hermione! Draco, I could most certainly hook you two up, you'd be so sweet together."

"EW! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU ON, POTTER? I DO NOT WANT TO HOOK UP WITH GRANGER!"

Before Harry could reply, the classroom door burst open as no one other than Professor Snape walked in. Glaring, he snapped, "Potter! Malfoy! What are you yelling about? It is after hours; get back to your dormitories! Now! Detention on Saturday at eight o' clock- for both of you! And Potter, 15 points from Gryffindor for provoking Malfoy enough to yell. Now, GO!"

Harry opened his mouth to protest, but Draco grabbed Harry's forearm and led him out of the room. He didn't let go until they had reached the stairs near the Great Hall.

"Why did you stop me Draco? I could have taken him!" said Harry furiously.

"No you couldn't have. And you would have lost more points, anyway. So, really, I just saved your sexy arse."

"Oh hail my savoir, the amazing bouncing ferret…did you just call my arse sexy?"

"I did no such thing."

"Suuuuurrrrreeeee. I bet you didn't, Drake. See you tomorrow night, a fun-detention- filled evening with Snape." Harry climbed the stairs grinning, hearing Draco stalking away, muttering something about Bloody Gryffindors. Harry leaned over the rail, feeling reckless, and shouted, "If it makes you feel any better, Draco—you're arse is pretty sexy too!"

Draco whipped around staring at Harry in shock. "What? You put arsenic in my juice?"

Harry started laughing, and shouted back, "Yes! That's exactly what I said!" he turned back up the marble staircase, still laughing to himself.

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A/N again: (Yes, I kind of stole the AIDS thing…I got the idea of using STDS from NightFoxDawnLily's fan fic-Flaming for you. I just loved it, so I used it lol…also no offense is intended in the whole fact of using AIDS…just so everyone knows that…yeah—I apologize once again for my poor grammar…but you'll just have to accept that seeing as I have no beta).

Thanks again for the reviews, I really appreciate them! They make me write more! Hint Hint! I looovveee reviews…cough.