Chapter 5: Never Blamed You

Conner was packing up to leave when there was a knock on the door. He stopped packing and opened the door to find Tommy standing there. "Hey, Tommy," he greeted. He let Tommy in and his former teacher looked around the room.

"So, leaving so soon?" He asked.

"Yeah, I can't stay here," Conner replied.

"You saw Kira didn't you?"

Conner stalled and nodded his head slowly. "Yeah, I did," he replied. Tommy sighed and sat down.

"And what happened?" He asked.

Conner sat on the bed and rubbed the back of his neck. "Basically, awkward, and she really didn't want to see me but who could blame her I let our son die," Conner replied.

"The accident wasn't your fault," Tommy insisted.

"Why does everyone keep saying that? It was my fault."

"How? How was it your fault?"

"I didn't watch him like I promised Kira. I took my eyes off Colin for one second and that's what makes it my fault."

Tommy sighed. "Conner, sit down," he instructed. Conner sat down and Tommy looked at him. "You're not going to do what you did when Colin first died are you?" He asked.

"No, I won't go that far again. At the time I just lost everything and I still don't have anything. Kira was everything and I lost her and I can't ever get her back," he replied.

Tommy stared at Conner. "What makes you think you'll never get her back?" Tommy asked.

"She's engaged to someone else," he replied.

Conner let out a sigh. "But I've been dying without her, Tommy. I need her," he added. Tommy stared at the young man that was once his student. He walked over and placed a hand on his shoulder.

"Have you told her that before?" He asked.

Conner closed his eyes and shook his head slowly. "Not since Colin's death," he replied. Conner sighed as he sat back thinking of the better times he had with Kira.

(Flashback)

Conner met Kira outside of their apartment and saw his girlfriend practically jumping high in the air with excitement. "Whoa! What's going on?" He asked. Kira smiled.

"I got the record deal!" She announced.

"No way!"

Kira nodded and Conner hugged her tight. "That's so great, Kira. I'm happy for you," he told her. Kira hugged him back with a smile on her face. He lifted her off the ground when his neck started to hurt and he took her inside.

(End Flashback)

Conner rubbed his forehead with a sigh. "She's getting married, Tommy. I can't just waltz up to her and say "Hey Kira don't marry the guy I know you still hate me but I still love you," all I'd get would be a slap in the face," Conner pointed out. Tommy looked at Conner. Conner let out a sigh and stood up. "Tommy, thanks for trying to help, but I'll be okay once I get out of this city, get rid of the pain," he informed. Tommy stood up.

"You two never even tried to comfort each other about it did you?" He asked.

"Didn't have the chance, Tommy. My son dies and the next thing I know my wife is handing me divorce papers."

Conner rubbed the back of his neck. "I need to get some air," he murmured.

"Conner wait," he called out.

Conner stopped and looked at him. "Kira never blamed you for Conner's death. The only reason she got mad at Ethan because she thought that he was saying that it was your fault that Colin died. Ethan's words just got twisted all the way around, because she never blamed you," Tommy explained.

"How do you know that?" Conner asked.

"She still talks to Trent, Kimberly, and me," he replied.

"Then why didn't she tell me?"
"Because you're the one who shut her out afterwards, that's why she got the divorce papers, because you totally shut her out of your life."

Conner stared at Tommy and let out a sigh. "I'm just saying what I've heard and what I feel. She only moved on with her life because she knew that waiting for you would just waste yours and her life away," he added.

"Thanks, Tommy," Conner mumbled.

He then left the hotel room to get some air.

While Conner was walking down the hall, he saw Kira sitting outside her hotel room looking for her key. "Kira?" He called. Kira looked at him as he walked over to her. "C--Can I talk to you?" He asked. Kira nodded her head slowly.

"Yes, of course," she replied.

Conner and Kira then walked down the café that the hotel had.

They sat across from each other and Kira looked at him. "What did you want to talk to me about?" She asked. Conner took a deep breath.

"I want to talk about what happened," he replied.

Kira bit her lip, she knew what he meant. "Now? After a year of trying to get you to talk about it with me you want to talk to me about it now?" She asked. Conner lowered his head slightly before looking back at her.

"Kira…I'm sorry," he replied.

Kira shook her head and she reached across the table to hold his hand. "It was never your fault, Conner. I tried to tell you that all the time that it wasn't your fault and that it was an accident," she answered.

"But he was under my care. I was supposed to watch him. I took my eyes off him for two minutes," he confessed.

"Oh…Conner…three-year-olds have the tendency of running off. It's just that ours turned into a nightmare."

Conner saw the tears in her eyes as she spoke. "You weren't a bad father, Conner. You were a great dad and our son loved you so much. Whenever I think about our son, I think about how good a father you were to him," she explained. Conner let out a shaky sigh and looked at the engagement ring on her hand.

"But you're gone because of me," he murmured.

Kira lowered her head slightly before looking at him. "I'm not gone, Conner. I'm right here," she murmured. He shook his head.

"You're not mine anymore. You're his I lost you to someone else because I was a fool," he put in.

She saw the pain in his eyes as he looked at her. "I still love you…so much. I never stopped," he whispered.

"Oh…Conner," she murmured.

Conner leaned over the table and kissed her.