Frank
I blame you for the way things are right now. We are approaching two months and things have spun so out of control that Vanessa and I are moving in with her for a while.
Not a day has passed that she hasn't cried for you. I'm not talking small tears. No that I could handle. This, this is too much. I've grown accustomed to red eyes with large tears constantly streaming down her face. She doesn't even need to blink for they flow freely from her eyes. She hasn't worn makeup since the day of the funeral and I don't blame her. It wouldn't last very long.
We've started to worry about leaving her alone for long periods of time, because whenever we do she disappears to be with you. Just last week I went by the house to make sure there was enough wood cut because the weather people started talking about snow coming soon. You know where she was. Not at the house. Oh no, she was at the cemetery, lying by your grave, fast asleep. I could have killed her. It had to be at most 20 degrees and there she was outside without a jacket for who knows how long. Her skin was tinted blue and she was shivering beyond all belief, but she was not going to move from that spot.
That's not what concerns me the most though. No, the thing that has me is her weight. She's already lost 15 pounds and we both know that she never even needed to lose one. Her reasoning is that she forgets to eat sometimes. Not just a meal, but for days at a time. The only time she seems to remember is when one of us brings food by and even then she has to force herself to choke down a few bites.
She shouldn't have to live like this. She use to be strong and passionate. She use to laugh and have fun. There's no life in her any more and it's your fault. Loving you is the biggest mistake she could have ever made.
Joe