Frank
Happy 30th birthday, big brother. It's now been close to seven months and you are still fresh on all our minds.
We've definitely had our fair share of trials these past few months, and I still see no immediate end to the pain for your wife, but I feel that she has made some progress. Last night is my proof.
She smiled. A full blown smile that made her eyes shine.
You would have been smiling to, Frank, because yesterday Vanessa and I found out that we are having a baby. That's right, me, Mr. Child himself, has reproduced. Scary, isn't it?
After Vanessa told me, we immediately gathered the gang together at mom and dad's to share the good news. That's when I was able to catch a glimpse of the old Nancy. She seemed so excited about the fact that she was going to be an aunt.
Now, I do have to admit that for every two steps forward, there is a giant leap back.
After dinner I found her out on the porch swing, weeping softly. She shared that while she was happy for us, she couldn't help feeling jealous. She regrets that you two had pushed off the idea of kids for so long. I had no response for that confession, so I sat there quietly, providing the ear that she needed.
She's getting better at accepting your death. While she still cries at least once a day, she isn't letting it control her life full time anymore. She's gone back to work at the paper, but she's not ready to come back to our agency. She claims that she isn't ready to be back out in the field yet. I sure hope that she changes her mind soon, because it's awfully lonely in that office with both of you gone.
I'm proud of her though. She's trying, that's for sure. I'm going to keep working on her also. The smile last night is not going to a one time thing. I have all sorts of tricks up my sleeve to make them more frequent. I'll let you in on a little secret. The next one I plan on getting is when I tell her that she is going to be the baby's godmother.
It's sad to think that you missed out on so much. You would have been great parents if given the chance. Can you imagine what your kids would have been like? Gorgeous, God wiling they got Nancy's looks, and smart beyond all belief. Yeah, you would have been lucky.
Joe