o.o

Chibi Link: Watching another FMA DVD, weren't you?

...Dang, Ed's a human cockroach!

CL: Last episode, I take it?

Yup. CONQUEROR OF SHAMBALA TIME!!!

Al: (-coughs-)

CL: You've already seen it.

Meh, so friggin' what? HEIDERICH D-(censored to prevent spoilers)!!!

Al: (-coughs louder-)

Yo, Muse, you having a coughing fit or sumpin?

CL: That's not me.

Gee, who's coughing, I wonder?

Al: (-coughs into microphone-)

...Now that I think about it, where's Al?

Al: (-speaking into microphone-) HERE!!! Geez, I was trying to get your attention before!

Okay, whatever. Here's your script, now GO!

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Al trotted onto the stage. "Okay, welcome back to 'Al's Take on Darwin,' where this time around I'll explain the REAL Theory of Evolution. Sorry about last time, by the way. Now, before we begin, I'd like to warn you all that this chapter is rated for and contains birds, innuendo, steep drops, German, dragons, vampires, ad lib nonsense, firearms, use of said firearms, Envy, the dark, janitors, absence of plotline, swearing, islands, and milk. People allergic to or intolerant of these should click-" An explosion interrupted his speech, and Al turned to see the green dragon from Conqueror of Shambala burst through the wall, apparently wrapped up in an epic battle with Ed. "BROTHER! What the hell?!"

Ed snatched his younger sibling's microphone and transmuted it into a throwing dagger, which he promptly chucked at the beast. "Entschuldigung!"

"...Well, there's the dragon, Envy, and the German," sighed Al, producing another microphone from his pocket. "Now, Darwin developed his theory by studying birds, so we've gotten a few actors together to represent these birds. Let's go to them now."

The scene switches to an isolated island drifting in the middle of the ocean, and stranded upon it was Scar in a ridiculous looking feathery outfit with cardboard wings stuck with duct tape to his arms. "This is stupid," he growled. "Very, very unbelievably stupid.

"Now, there was at one point one species of bird on one particular island. However, some birds got stranded on other islands... somehow...and they evolved," Al explained as the scene changed to a different island with Riza standing on it, wearing a different colored feathery outfit.

Riza sighed. "Kid, you aren't inferring that-"

"NO!" Al burst out. "Of course not! That's just plain weird!"

"Good." Riza clicked the safety off her gun and shot a coconut in half. "Because otherwise, that would be your head."

Al gave no answer, only scampered away quietly.

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"Go fish." Greed scowled as he drew a card from the deck.

"Dang, you're tough, lady!"

Lust smiled appreciatively. "Why, thank you."

"Not a compliment."

"PEANUTS!" Mustang cried. "Get over here and buy some PEANUTS!"

"Hmmm..." Lust stroked her chin. "That's not a bad idea. Greed, just wait here and dwell on you loss, okay?"

Greed sighed dejectedly. "Why do I have a bad feeling in my gut about this?" He was answered with a blood-curdling scream. "Ah, that's why."

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"Holy..." Havoc was staring at the bloody body of Lust, her skin now looking albino pale as her blood seeped out onto the ground. For some reason, he had expected more blood. Much more. A lot of it was just...missing. Gone. Like someone had swept it away...

Or sucked it up. It would make sense; the cause of death seemed to be two holes in her neck, like a snake bite, but larger. This could only add up to one thing in Havoc's mind...

"VAMPIRES!!!!!"

"Was?" Ed peeked from around the corner, apparently done fighting Envy the Dragon for the day. "Was ist DAS???"

"ED! VAMPIRES! AAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!" Havoc proceeded to run around in panicked circles.

Ed said nothing.

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"So...I'm supposed to be a bird that evolved from the Riza species..." Fuery looked apprehensively at his feathery garb.

Scar sighed. "You know, I think the readers get it. Darwin's theory is that creatures evolve. We've done our job, so let's get out of these ridiculous costumes and go home." And he stormed off the set, ripping feathers off as he went.

Riza blinked. "He's right. Bye, Fuery."

"W-wait!!!" Fuery cried, racing after. "Don't leave me alone out here!!!"

A few minutes passed until finally, Al realized the Scary Lady with the Gun was gone. It took him another five seconds to realize that his actors were gone, as well. "Oh, fiddlecats. What now?"

"Keine Ahnung," Ed shrugged as he mystically appeared by his younger brother.

"Brother, enough German already! Could you please speak intelligible English?"

"Nein."

"ARRRGH!"

"Und Auf Weidersehen zu du auch." With that, Ed strolled off nonchalantly.

"BROTHER!!! Oh for the love of—ah, never mind." Al huffed in frustration. "Well, I guess this thing is dead now. So...I bid you farewell." And the lights flickered out.

"And you better be a light sleeper...I'm rather hungry tonight!" The speaker flashed silver-white fangs towards the camera.

Of course, the speaker/vampire was revealed to be Al by a passing janitor who flicked the lights back on in the background.

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...Dude, this sucked. I really think this sucked.

CL: It's what they get...after all, we didn't get five reviews.

Well yes, but...oh, never mind. I just really think this sucked.

CL: So you're going to finish up your dusty "Rambtings" and move on to Sacred Stones.

Yeah...I really don't feel I did these peeps justice. But if I get a lot of nice reviews, I may decide to further humiliate myself.