(Charlie, thanks.)

Part 7, Coldness

-Day 31-

-Planet Earth-

-Selmak-

"Dad!" Mark looks happy to see his father. "I didn't know you were coming. Why didn't you call first? Betty and the kids are..." His face seems to fall as he trails off. "What's wrong?"

"Can I come in?"

Mark moves out of the way so his father can come into the house. "Should we sit?"

I feel sad whenever I come here. It's like visiting a son...who doesn't know I exist. Oh, Mark. I'm here, inside your dad's head. I'm the reason he's still alive.

I recall being the reason you are still alive, Jacob thinks as he sits down on the couch with Mark.

Oops. Didn't realize he was listening.

Jacob and I have his story of truths and lies all planned out. He looks to Mark. "It's about Sam. She went on a mission that took her out of the United States. The group she was with disappeared."

Mark holds a look of disbelief and surprise before getting upset. "How long has she been gone?"

"Five weeks."

Mark gets angrier. "And I'm just hearing about it now!"

It's not like we can explain that when she usually disappears, she usually returns.

"The Air Force has been trying to locate her. So have I."

Mark gets up as he shakes his head. "Who else is missing?"

"Two you know of, Daniel and Martouf." Sam has mentioned Daniel before, and Jacob has mentioned Martouf. "Two you don't know, Amb and Gete."

Mark frowns. "I thought Martouf traveled with you. Why would he be where Sam was?"

"The location was his home...land."

Oh, that sounds convincing.

Shut up, he thinks before continuing. "The Air Force hired him as a guide since he would be home."

"Where is this location?"

"That's classified."

"Why is she missing?"

"I don't know."

Mark turns away.

Hug him.

Jacob gets up and hugs his son. "We'll find her."

Mark looks to him. "What do I tell my family?"

Jacob knows the question holds a test. The real question is, "How sure are you that you'll find her?" Jacob hesitates. "Yes." He failed the test.

Mark looks down. "Find her."

-Day 37-

-Planet Neeria-

-'Carter'-

This is boring. Daniel and Anise are very happy though. They keeping chattering back and forth about language and culture and how these people died. Isn't it kind of depressing to find out why an entire world is dead?

Entirely, my host thinks. These people had dreams. Something took their dreams away. The dreams died. They died. The culture died. We study them as if it matters. Like any of them would care that someone wrote on paper how they think these people lived. The details will be wrong, and details are what is most important about a people. It's just on a paper that few people are ever going to read. It's not real memories. They're dead.

Okay, now you are depressing me, I think. His thoughts are reminding me of what will become of the Tok'ra in the future.

Sorry. It's just...

I know.

He gives a small sigh as he continues to watch.

Suddenly we are being fired at. Staff weapons. My host quickly becomes more alert. "Take cover!" He does so himself, hiding behind one of the precious buildings that Daniel and Anise thought was so important. The attackers are Jaffa and clearly have no care for the building. Where did they come from! They must have been on the planet already.

Don't know where the others are. My host fires at several Jaffa. There are many of them, but we keep calm. We're worried about the others. I hope-

We suddenly fall back. Hit by something. Don't know what. Are you all right?

He lost conscious, and I realize I'm about to do the same.

I grab my side as I wake up. Even though I realize it was just a dream, it still seems to burn. The air is thinner. Maybe it's the room. I can't breathe!

"'Carter?'" It's Martouf. He spent the night again, and now he's holding me. "What's wrong?"

"I... I was being attacked."

"By who?"

"Jaffa."

"Who are the Jaffa?"

"I don't know...I..." I shake my head. "I was on a planet. I don't know if it was just a dream...or a memory. I..." I swallow. "We went on a mission to look at some culture who died out. I had a dream before...about hearing about the mission. Someone named Garshaw. She sent us." I turn to Martouf. "Does Garshaw sound familiar to you?"

He shakes his head.

"She mentioned someone named Selmak...and-and Anise. She said we were going to go on the mission with SG-1 and two other Tok'ra." I'm pretty sure it was a memory now. "This time I was on the mission, and we were attacked by the Jaffa. My host was shot."

"Do you remember who your host was?"

"No, but he seemed upset." I smile a bit, realizing how that might sound. "I mean before the attack."

He holds me closer. "We'll keep you safe from any Jaffa."

I kiss him gently. "Thank you."

A moment passes, and Martouf speaks again. "He?"

"What?"

"Your host was male?"

Oh...that... "Uh...I think so."

He pulls away a little. "You're male?"

"I don't feel male. I feel very female. At least for now."

He frowns.

Now I feel bad. I probably should have mentioned it before. "Martouf, you know I'm really an it. That didn't bother you...a-and you knew there was the possibility that my previous host was male. That doesn't mean I'm male. I'm an it." I smile and add in hope. "A wonderful pretty it who likes you very much?"

He settles back down. "You're right, but the next time you get more memories, I want to know about them."

"I wasn't sure if they were memories, not at first." I settle back down as well.

It's quiet for a moment, and in the dark, his right hand finds one of my ears. "You're beautiful. I don't care what your gender is."

I flash my eyes. Not for any particular reason. Just to do it.

"Your eyes are also beautiful," he adds. His hand is still lightly touching my ear.

"We should go back to sleep. Tomorrow is the festival."

He pulls me against him before settling back down. "Sleep then."

While I consider men and women to be equal, the roles in their relationships are not the same. For instance, women, who tend to be smaller and lighter, can partially lay on a man without fear of making him uncomfortable, which is what we're doing now. My head is on his shoulder as he holds me close. It seems, if my dreams are right, I normally have a male host, so I'm going to enjoy being female while I can.

-Martouf-

I sit up and stretch. It's dark, but I can see a little bit, so it must he early morning. My neck is sore, so I rub it, but accidentally wake up 'Lantash' in doing so. Sorry.

He wiggles a bit, trying to stretch. Morning. He wiggles again. I'd like to go into some water and just stretch out. Just for a few minutes.

Snug in there?

Yes.

I feel kind of bad. I knew this, but never really thought about it. I lay back down and look at Samantha. I wonder how much truth there was to 'Carter's' dream.

Keep in mind that I might be female, 'Carter' reminds.

True. I was more surprised than anything else. I rub Samantha's back gently until she wakes up. "Morning."

Samantha wiggles out of bed and starts getting dressed at the base of the bed. "Morning."

I sit up again. "Any more dreams?"

She shakes her head. "No, but I think it was a memory or part of a memory." She goes into the main room, closing the door so I can get dressed in privacy. I quickly put on the first layer of clothes and follow her out. I turn away when I realize Freya is still dressing. "Sorry."

I can hear her hopping around as she's trying to put leggings on. Samantha is laughing, undoubtedly at her. Freya falls or drops on to the bed. "Why were these invented?" She's frustrated.

"To keep us warm," Samantha answers.

It's a few more minutes before I can turn around. Kind of wonder what the neighbors think with me spending the night in a house with two women. "Freya, who is your date this time?"

It turns out 'Anise' is in control now. "Daniel." Until they speak, I still can't tell them apart. She's putting on her shoes. "He's coming to walk me there."

"I should probably finish getting dressed then." I have more layers to add. I doubt Samantha wants it to be obvious that I spent the entire night here.

Samantha is brushing her hair. "Think it'll snow today?"

I shrug. It started snowing a couple days ago, which Besh and Joth weren't happy about. The Winter Festival is scheduled to be a couple weeks before it normally starts snowing. "Hope not."

There is a knock on the door. "I'll get it!" Anise says, as she runs a whole three feet to the door. She opens the door. "Hello Daniel." She sounds all calm now, but I'd bet a dinner that Daniel heard her earlier anyway.

"Hello Anise." He smiles and give her...leaves? Yes, those are leaves.

"Thank you, Daniel." She hugs him. She seems quite happy with the leaves.

Really? Leaves?

Anise puts the leaves in a bowl and sets them on the table. "They're beautiful."

I admit, the leaves are pretty. I look over at the dried flower I gave Samantha on our first date. Was I wrong to bring her a flower?

I think she liked the flower, 'Lantash' thinks.

After all the greetings we start heading to the festival. Samantha and Freya are bringing soup again.

-Gete-

It's Amb! He's sitting on one of the long tables reading. He's reading at a festival. Figures. "Hello Amb."

He smiles as he looks up. "Hello Gete." He switched control mid-sentence. He gets up and hugs me. "How are you?"

I return the hug. "Good, you?"

"I have been able to help plan a wedding. It's been rather interesting. Is there any news with you?"

"Starna learned she is pregnant."

'Malek' smiles. "I shall congratulate her."

"What were you reading?" I head to the table looking to what he had. I start to sit down, but realize he went behind me. Why did he-

Something soft hits my side. I look and see snow. 'Malek' is trying not to look guilty. I frown. "Did you do that?"

He smiles and throws another snowball at me.

"Oh, now you are in trouble." I gather snow, and he takes off running. I chase after him.

-Amb-

I take control again mid-run. I can't believe you started a snowball fight. I veer around a corner and nearly crash into Samantha. "Gete's behind me," I say before running off. I stop at a couple buildings and take cover.

Gete easily follows my footprints, then walks around slowly with a snowball in his hand. "'Mmmaalleek,'" he says slowly. "Aaammb." He throws the snowball above me.

Ha! He missed!

I get covered in snow.

Oooh, cold, 'Malek' thinks.

I jump up and chase after him. I get a little satisfaction out of his surprised yelp. Don't think he expected me to charge. I chase after him a bit. When we are above the deepest part of the snow I pounce and knock him over.

"Aack!" He falls, face into the snow. He starts laughing.

"I won," I say as I start scooping snow on to him. A snowball hits me. I turn around and see kids gathering snow.

Gete laughs. "I have allies. Get him!" He uses my distraction to knock me over.

I soon have several kids around me, throwing snow. I throw snow back. They're kind of winning. Gete is watching. Ha! He's enjoying this. It doesn't take long for the kids to turn on each other, some of them staying on Gete's side and some siding with me.

-Samantha-

Martouf starts dancing with me as soon as we get to the festival. It's not easy since it's in the snow. "So," he starts, "do you understand the leaves?"

"Anise mentioned it before. Leaves are a symbol of love on Neeria."

"I should give you leaves then."

"Well, you only do that if you love someone."

I think that's his point, 'Carter' thinks.

Oh. "Oh." I look to him. "You... What?"

He slows the dance to a stop and kisses me. "Samantha and 'Carter,' we love you."

"I..." Not sure how to respond. "We might be married to other people."

"You're worried about that now?"

"The symbiotes are all wrong."

"Same question."

"I..."

"I don't expect you to respond the same."

"But I do...I..." I take his hands. "We do. It's just...actually saying it."

"Would you prefer to give me a leaf?"

I smile. "We love both of you."

A nervousness in his expression disappears. I didn't even realize it was there until it was gone. "Whether we are found in a few day, a few years, or never...my feelings won't change."

"So if either of us happen to be married?"

"We'll figure it out then."

Probably the best way.

He touches the back of my head as he moves in for a kiss.

He's dying. Pull away. "No! Get out! Get out!" Afraid! Controlled!

I pull away suddenly.

"Samantha?"

That was terrifying. "I..." What was that?

I have no idea, 'Carter' answers, feeling just as afraid. That was...weird.

I touch my throat which seems to hurt for some reason.

"Samantha, are you all right?" Martouf looks worried.

"I don't know."

It was a symbiote, 'Carter' says suddenly.

What?

That's what you were afraid of.

You were just as afraid.

Yes, but it wasn't my memory.

I look to Martouf, who still looks worried. "I think I remembered something."

He looks both concerned and hurt. Probably not very ideal to tell someone you love them and they flash to a frightening memory afterwards.

"It wasn't because of you," I say quickly. Not really in the mood to dance anymore, I head to a table.

He follows, and we sit down. He still looks unsure. "What were you afraid of?"

"'Carter thinks it was a symbiote."

He looks down briefly, seeming to be in thought. He look at me again. "The sensing."

"What?"

"Your sense is stronger. We thought it could be because a symbiote died while in you."

I wish he hadn't brought that up again, 'Carter' thinks.

It's quiet for a moment. Martouf kind of looks forward. "I sometimes get flashes too."

"Really?" He's never mentioned this. "Like what?"

"Well, there is one about a woman. She's important to me, dying, and there isn't anything I can do about it. I was very sad."

"Do you know why she was important?"

Martouf shook his head. "No."

"Was she pretty?"

Martouf smiles a little. "I don't think I saw her like that. The relationship was more..." He touched his head lightly. "We're not even sure who's memory it belonged to, or if it was a memory."

I lean against him slightly. It's quiet again, but it's a peaceful silence.

-Gete-

The children run off when it's time for dinner. I slowly follow. The snowball fight lasted quite a while. 'Malek' is in a chipper mood. He's practically bouncing. "I won!"

I shake my head. "I won."

"No, I won."

I shake my head again, but there is no point in arguing. No one actually won. I feel tired after the game, yet he's hyper. Did he drink a few cups of coffee or is it a symbiote thing?

As I serve myself dinner it's getting later, and I'm getting colder. The snow has soaked though my clothes. Again, all those with amnesia sit down at the same table.

"So, who started the snowball fight," 'Lantash' asks.

I point to Amb, who quickly replies. "It was 'Malek,' not me."

"Who won?"

Of course we both claim victory.

The conversation changes course, but I do not pay attention. My hands are oddly numbed and pained on the same time. I think my feet are going to join them soon. Aldwin would be able to help if he was here. I don't know how he'd help, but he would. I speak when it seems the conversation has gone quiet. "I'm going to go home after this."

'Malek' frowns. "What's wrong?"

"Just cold."

"I'll walk you home."

I blush slightly. "There is no need."

"I'm the reason you are cold."

"I'm just going to go to sleep." I don't really want to keep someone company. I'm really tired.

"I won't stay any longer than needed."

I smile a bit. "Thank you." I finish dinner quickly since I'm still getting colder. My toes and fingers hurt a lot now. I say my goodbyes and leave, not really thinking about 'Malek.' He follows anyway.

I should have worn warmer clothes. What I have would have worked if I hadn't been covered in continuous snowballs, but they still aren't as warm as other clothes. I take off my gloves on the way to the house. The chilled air seems slightly better than the melted snow. I enter the house. It's a little better in here, but not much. I turn to 'Malek' to say bye, but he interrupts.

"I get to see your room."

I guess he plans to stay longer than needed, though it really isn't any trouble for me. I head up the stairs and go into my room. "There isn't much to see." I wait a few seconds for him to leave, but then I don't care anymore. I'm freezing, and these clothes aren't helping. I change.

He seems to become more interested in the room, but I think he's being polite. After I've changed I realize he pulled back the blankets on the bed for me. I wish I could hug him, but he's still damp. There is still some snow in the creases of his clothes. I go into the bed, and he pulls the blankets over him. I look at him as I settle. "That's why you insisted on coming?"

He kneels down by the bed. "Are you warm yet?"

"Not yet."

"I can't leave you cold. It's my fault you are cold."

I keep blinking a lot. "Thank you."

"You were chilled."

I smile. "A bit." Under warm blankets, but I'm still very cold.

My eyes close. It takes a bit to warm up. I hear a "Goodnight Gete" as soon as the cold is gone.

"Night."

to be continued...

Besh and Joth-Elderly farming couple who took in Martouf

Ichard-Doctor's Assistant

Nara and Bex-Took in Amb. Daughter is getting married.

Starna and Teff-Store owners. Took in Gete.

Thom-Doctor