(Martoufz, thank you for the review. Sorry this one is kind of late. School has started.)

Part 8, Buried

-Planet Neeria-

-Martouf-

I look up when 'Malek' returns. "How is Gete?"

"Asleep." He looks guilty.

"He enjoyed the snow," I remind.

"Yes, and now he's missing the festival."

"Well, he's not missing much," Samantha offers.

She's right. With the early snow and early coldness, the festival, from what I hear, isn't what it normally is. No games, less people, less music, less dancing, less food, and less joy. Samantha continues to be proven right as the night continues on. I think the snowball fight was the most entertaining thing.

We dance a few more times before heading to Samantha's house. She's holding my hand. "So, what reason do you give to Besh and Joth for not staying with them when you are at my house?"

I smile a bit. Some people know, but most don't. "Sometimes I work late on jobs and end up sleeping over, so that's what they assume."

"Do you plan to stay tonight?"

"If I'm invited."

She smiles briefly. "We've been here for over a month now, haven't we?"

"Yes." Quite an active time period with two festivals in it. The first depends on the harvest though, and the harvest was late this year. "I feel bad. This isn't a very good year for them, and that's when we show up, expecting help."

"Well, we've been helping them in return." She touches her side, where she had been stabbed. "Also glad they gave us the help."

I touch her side, remembering how worried I had been. "Me too." I hope whoever stabbed her is dead. I look to the house as we arrive. "Are you cold? Can I warm you?"

"I think I'm going to go right to sleep." Her eyes flash. "You are still welcomed to stay."

"I'll take the invite."

They do as they said, falling asleep quickly once they're in bed. There is something satisfying about having someone fall asleep as you hold them. Complete trust. I soon fall asleep as well.

-'Carter'-

The last thing I remember is getting shot. Now I'm awake, but he's still asleep. At least my host is still at peace..for now. When I feel a pressure at his neck I take control to figure out what it is. I'm tied down, and I can't move my head. "Who's there?"

Didn't expect an answer, and I don't get one. "Argh!" They are cutting! Cutting me? No. My host. They are cutting my host. Stop it! Stop it! I try to struggle, but my host is tied down well. They're cutting him to get to me. I retreat to take full control of myself. I grip myself to him. What are they doing? Who is it? I try to heal my host.

They win. Cold fingers try to pull me away. No! I give whoever it is a hard time, holding a grip. He's stronger though. I'm going to lose, and I could hurt my host in the process. He's still alive. They didn't kill him to get me, so they must want him alive. With regret, I let him go.

Now I'm me. The true serpentish, squealing me. I twist around and give a hard bite to the person holding me. He yelps slightly and shakes me. Ha! It's a Goa'uld. Can't tell who. I refuse to let go. His shaking makes me dizzy.

"Let go!"

Ha!

He pulls me away, losing some skin in the process, and slams me into a tank. I squeal furiously at him. I think he's laughing as he walks away. Argh! I swim around the tank, disorientated and pained. Finally I find my way and see my host, still unconscious. Saddened. I can't even call him. Can't say his name in squeal. "Host?" I watch as he is taken away. What are they going to do with him? Will they heal him? "Host!"

I left my own host. He's abandoned and doesn't even know it. The idea that scares me the most is that I was removed so he may be forced to become a host to a Goa'uld.

I hear a sound, a squeak of "Hello."

I spin a bit before finding where it came from. Still dizzy. It's another symbiote. "Hello." Probably a Tok'ra, but I can't tell who.

"Removed. My host. I failed." Our language in our true voices is very simple.

Without hosts I cannot identify another Tok'ra, not easily. We'll figure it out. "We'll save them."

I wake up feeling afraid and lost. It takes a second to remember the dream. I feel the need to hug my host...except I have no idea who it is. I'll settle for a hug with...hey, where is Martouf? I get out of bed and go into the main room. He's not here either. "Martouf?" Where is he! I go outside.

Cold! Samantha thinks as she wakes up. Why are we outside in the snow in a nightgown.

The air is freezing, chilling her skin already. Her feet are bare. I look around. "Martouf!" I cross my arms in trying to get warmer. I need a hug.

Martouf comes around the corner. "'Carter?'" He frowns and approaches quickly. "You'll freeze!"

I hug him quickly. "Martouf."

He hugs back as he brings me back into the house. "You're cold." He puts a blanket around me.

"I was looking for you."

"I was getting more firewood."

We sit on Anise's bed, which is when I realize she isn't here either. "Um..." I look down at the bed. "Shouldn't Freya be sleeping here?"

"I don't think she ever came home."

"That wasn't nice of her. I could be very worried for all she knows."

Martouf smiles. "You don't seem that worried."

"That's...not the point."

It's quiet for a moment. Martouf speaks again. "I need to get more firewood."

I nod slightly. He leaves. I should change.

-Tok'ra Base-

-Jacob-

"Did I fall asleep?"

"Yes."

A young woman is standing in front of me, wearing a layered dress. "Hello Selmak." She likes looking like Saroosh in our dreams. "I shouldn't be asleep. I should be looking through the new scans. Wake me up."

"I moved us. We aren't in the conference room anymore."

"Why not?"

She disappears, leaving me in the world she created for me. I look around. It's one of my old houses. I look up when she reappears a few minutes later. "Who are you talking to?"

"Sorry. Garshaw."

"Is it about Sam?"

"This concerns all the missing."

That stings a bit, though I know Selmak hadn't meant it to. Three of the missing Tok'ra are good friends, and I have a lot of respect for all of them. If my daughter wasn't missing, I'd be more worried about them. I frown slightly. Selmak isn't happy with whatever she is about to tell me. "What is it?"

"The missing Tok'ra are now considered fallen."

I frown more. Fallen. The Tok'ra word for "We're pretty sure they're dead." More importantly, it also means, "We aren't going to look anymore." I consider the missing. I want to argue on their behalf, but I realize the Tok'ra are right in doing this. We ran out of places to look several days ago, and Olokun , if he was looking for them in the first place, seemed to have given up weeks ago.

"Kela'an is going to continue to monitor transmissions to and from Olokun. You know he's not ready to give up on them, especially his mates, and all ours spies will continue to watch for any signs of them."

"What news do you have on Sam and Daniel?" I could get the answer easily from her, just as I would any other time. For this I decided not to.

"They have been declared MIA."

I nod slightly. I know Jack hasn't given up on them, however, the SGC has less to do in the search than we do. "They'll come back. They'll all come back and prove us all wrong."

"There is one other thing." Selmak seems unsure of herself.

"What?"

"Well-"

I hate when she stalls.

"-As you know-"

Garshaw does the same thing when she is about to say something she doesn't want to say. I wonder if Selmak got it from Garshaw, or if Garshaw got it from Selmak.

-when the Tok'ra are declared fallen, it is tradition-"

"Are we giving them a funeral?" I interrupt.

"...Yes."

"Kind of figured."

"The Tok'ra would also like to hold a funeral for Sam."

What? "What?"

"Many Tok'ra held a high amount of respect for her. If the Tok'ra do not give her a funeral, Garshaw believes that some will be angry."

"Most of them never met her." Wait. "Held. They held respect for her? You're already referring to her in past tense!"

"Have you met everyone you respect?" She completely ignores that she spoke of Sam in the past tense. Fallen Tok'ra are considered past tense, and though Sam isn't Tok'ra, she is considered fallen.

I know Sam was respected, but Tok'ra very rarely give funerals to non-Tok'ra, which makes me wonder who this funeral is really for. I frown slightly when I realize Selmak is picking up on my thoughts but isn't quick to answer the question. I'm not going to let her avoid this. "If there is a funeral..." I cringe. I don't like thinking about a funeral for Sam. "...will they be mourning her or will they be mourning what is left of Jolinar?"

"Probably both." She continues when my response is a frown. "She's earned respect in her own right, both in her accomplishments against the Goa'uld and her openness to a alliance with the Tok'ra. She also has respect in being your daughter. However, there is also the fact that she wa..." Selmak trails off, stopping herself from saying "was." She glances down. "...is Jolinar's last host."

Thank you for the "is." Jolinar had a funeral, two actually. One for being declared fallen and another when her death was confirmed. Now she'll get a third one.

"This funeral is more for Sam. If you don't approve of it now, we will hold it when you are ready."

Sammy.

"We know she may still be alive." She hopes I allow the funeral, but she wants the choice to be mine.

I hate this. They are going to mourn her whether I allow the funeral or not. Delaying it will make it harder on them, but she's my daughter. My daughter. The Tok'ra don't know her. Most haven't even met her. They didn't encourage her at six to be whatever she wanted to be. They didn't buy astronaut toys for her when she was seven. They didn't stop fights between her and Mark. They didn't deal with her mother's death. They didn't watch her do great in school, nor did they watch her struggle with being a woman in the Air Force. They didn't get rejected every time they tried to help. They didn't feel the pride of realizing her career far surpasses everything she dreamed of.

"Jacob."

"When are the funerals?"

"In two weeks."

"Then I have two weeks to decide."

-Planet Neeria-

-Martouf-

I return with more firewood. "The weather is getting worse. It's starting to snow really hard." I set the firewood down, a bit glad to see that Samantha and 'Carter' are dressed warmly. "What was so important that you didn't mind freezing?"

"I needed a hug."

"Another dream?"

'Carter' smiles. "I remembered being removed from my host."

The smile with that statement seems kind of funny together.

'Lantash' frowns. She remembers being removed, then needs a hug from you?

I grin slightly, mostly because of what my symbiote said. "You remember that then need to find me?" I chuckle slightly.

"Well, I went looking for whoever was closest."

"So I am convenient."

'Carter' moves closer and wraps her arms around us. "No, you're special. You noticed I didn't go looking for Freya." She frowns slightly when the wind starts picking up. "How bad is it snowing?"

I look to the door, though its not like that'll tell me anything. "It's getting worse."

"I think we should start preparing for the worse."

Can it be that bad?

Yes, 'Lantash' thinks.

I wonder if the real Lantash is that negative.

Hmph.

Er, sorry. I head out again and Samantha follows. The snow tries to bury us, but it's the snow we need, so we don't go that far.

-Gete-

Amb rushes into the store, covered in snow. Aw Amb. I hurry over and close the door behind him. "You shouldn't be out in this weather."

"It wasn't like this when I started." He wipes off snow. "I was sent to get food." He starts pulling out small wooden toys. I don't have much to trade for it."

"You can't go back out in that weather."

"But Bex and his family need food."

"And you live two hours away. You'll freeze to death."

"Not if I hurry."

I hate how stubborn he is being. "You can die...and that might be my symbiote you have in your head. You aren't risking him."

Amb's eyes flash. "I believe that is for me to decide."

"But..." Two against one. "Starna!"

Starna comes in. "Hello." She notices the frowning 'Malek.' "What is going on?"

"They want to go out in the snow," I answer.

"It's not that bad," 'Malek' insists.

Starna goes to a near window and looks out. Afterwards she looks at 'Malek' as if he's completely insane. "Wait until the weather has cleared up."

"They're hungry."

"We've all been hungry before. They can deal."

"But-" He stops when the wind picks up. 'Malek' looks out the window, seeing it's gotten much worse. "Very well."

Starna looks over him. "Gete, find him something dry to wear." She smiles. "I'm sure it'll get better soon. You are welcomed to stay here until then."

"It didn't get better."

It's been five days since the storm started. I stir my food. "The weather did get better. It's not snowing as hard." I think he just rolled his eyes at me. "Well, it did."

"Yes, but now we can't leave the house."

I grumble. It's not my fault he got snowed in. Don't you think he should stop blaming me? Yes, yes, he should, and he should thank you for not allowing him to leave. Though in all honestly, given when it started snowing harder, he probably would have noticed that before leaving in the first place.

"Gete, why are you staring?"

I look to 'Malek.' "I was just complaining about you."

"To... What?"

"I..." I stir my food again. "I think to myself."

He doesn't answer for a bit. He eats some of his food. "Well, when things are set right, maybe Aldwin can go through your memories and answer everything."

I should take notes then. I feel so tired. I haven't been able to sleep much.

'Malek' picks up a piece of bread. "Do you think Tok'ra always wear those beige outfits."

Random question. It makes me grin anyway. "I imagine they do. They are comfortable." I wish I could wear mine. It shows off the legs though, and legs aren't to be seen on this planet. The number of pockets are nice too. I bet the Tok'ra never have to carry anything because of it.

-Samantha-

The house feels cramped, and it keeps giving 'Carter' nightmares about being put in that damn tank. She keeps muttering about how much she hates tanks. I try to help her. If I was a symbiote who was ripped from my host and slammed into a tank, I'd probably hate tanks too. The situation is giving me nightmares too. Memories of being controlled while in some type of cell. Our dreams often combine.

Martouf is carefully cutting some roots. "If we add some juice, it'll be sweeter."

I watch him for a moment. I'm very glad he's trapped with us. I don't know how I'd be reacting if 'Carter' and I were alone.

He puts the roots in a bowl. "'Lantash' thinks I should preserve the juice. Only a few drops would be enough to make it a little sweeter." He looks to me. "What do you think?"

"I wouldn't mind the drops."

He smiles and adds a few drops of juice to the bowl. He stirs carefully. "I think this will be better than last night's dinner. Tomorrow I can add some water and make it stew."

Trapped in a cabin, and so far every meal has been different. Martouf likes to prepare food to deal with it all. "I wonder if you ever cook for the Tok'ra."

He grins. "I hope not."

"Really?"

"I like cooking special meals. Cooking for...well, however many Tok'ra there are, it wouldn't be special."

I look over to the flower Martouf gave me on our first date. It is dried and laying on the dresser where I originally put it. Next to it is the bowl of leaves Daniel gave Anise.

Martouf sits on the bed. "Dinner is ready."

I join him. "What did you make today?"

He loves telling me, even though I just watched him do it. He tells me how delicately the roots are chopped, and reminds me to taste for the hint of sweetness. He always has me taste it first, and is proud every time I tell him I like it. He makes each meal special. Really, he makes each moment special.

-Day 54-

-Tok'ra Base-

-Selmak-

It's been two weeks since Jacob and I discussed the funerals. We haven't discussed it since, though he's thought about it. Garshaw approaches us that morning. I give Jacob control, not knowing his answer. He didn't want me to see his thought process, and I respected that.

Garshaw is delicate with the question. "Today we will be mourning our fallen Tok'ra."

Jacob wants to answer her. His mind is trying, but he can't move.

"The Tok'ra wish to properly mourn your daughter, but only if you agree to it."

Jacob looks down before nodding his head. "She...we bury those who are gone."

Garshaw gives a small nod before setting out to prepare the funerals.

Jacob goes up to the surface where people work around him. He sees one man scratching into a small rock. Jacob watches until the Tok'ra notices. He looks almost guilty. "Jacob."

"Is that Sam's rock?"

"Yes."

"I want to see it." Jacob is handed over the rock. It's a nice rock, a type of white granite. Some of the edges are rough, scratching Jacob's hand. One side has been smoothed over, and that is the part being carved. He traces his thumb over one of the rough sides. "Isn't this rock rough?"

"She was a strong warrior," the Tok'ra responds.

"She was also smart. I don't see where this shows she was..." Jacob stops, realizing that he referred her in past tense. She's really gone.

I hug him.

My daughter is gone, and I'm lecturing him about a stupid rock. He shakes his head as he hands the rock back over. "The rock is fine." He walks away, finding a place to sit. I want my daughter back. How did she die?

There is no good answer to that, especially since it seems likely that she was killed by Olokun.

Did she suffer? Did he make her suffer? Jacob is getting angry. What did he do to her! Several horrible images flash through his mind. He hates it, but he wants to know how she could have died. What did he do to her afterwards? He shivers as he realizes the truth. He probably discarded her.

Jacob... I want to help, but I am not sure how. Would it be best if I let him think through all this? It's upsetting him though.

He probably tortured her to death then threw her away.

He could not have destroyed her soul. That is safe no matter what happened to her body.

You don't know that! What if he did destroy her soul? What if he destroyed her mind? What if he took everything she was?

I...I don't know.

I want my daughter back. I want Sam back.

Jacob...she's not coming back.

to be continued...

Besh and Joth-Elderly farming couple who took in Martouf
Ichard-Doctor's Assistant
Nara and Bex-Took in Amb. Daughter is getting married.
Starna and Teff-Store owners. Took in Gete.
Thom-Doctor