(Sweetangel4, thanks for the review. Nice to see you comment on who's in who. Here's another chapter. I hope you enjoy it.)

Part 9, Freckles and Squeals

-Day 59-

-Earth-

-Jack-

I look at a bowl of jello. Not really feeling hungry. Jacob arrived on Earth an hour ago. Selmak was the one in control, saying Jacob didn't want to talk. He said they were going to Mark's. I thought they were going to update him on the progress, but it wasn't just for an update...it was for a funeral.

I can't believe Jacob is giving Sam a funeral.

I feel just as guilty. I've declared her and Daniel missing in action, but I know they are out there. I just...have no idea where to look.

Teal'c sits down in front of me. I know what he is going to ask. "I'm not changing my mind."

"I believe Jacob Carter would appreciate all her friends being there."

"Teal'c, I'm not giving up on them."

"Nor am I."

"But you are going to her funeral."

"According to Selmak, Jacob Carter would want me to be there."

He says he's going for Jacob's sake, but I know part of him is going in case Jacob is right. This particular funeral sounds like it's for family and long time friends anyway, much longer than I've known Sam.

Teal'c leaves the table. I don't think he approves of me not going. I'm not giving up on them though.

-Planet Neeria-

-Daniel-

I study one of the books until my eyes blur. I rub them, but that doesn't help much. "Anise?"

"I can't heal you."

I grin a bit to her reference to an earlier joke. "Are you still able to read?"

"Yes."

"Any headaches?"

She smiles. "Yes."

"We need more light."

She shuts the book and looks to me. "Is it time we exchange information?"

I grin, and our discussion begins. We tell each other everything we read and connect that to what we've seen while living with the Neerians. Doctor Thom sometimes listens to us discuss his people, grinning knowingly, not telling us who's right or wrong when have an argument. He usually sleeps though.

I don't know how long we've been in here, but the last we checked, the door still wouldn't open. Studying and having these discussions helps pass the time. That and sleeping. I've been sleeping a lot, not as much as the doctor, but more than usual.

Anise and I argue with how we believe early Neerians lived. She and Freya usually side against me, but sometimes one will agree with me. This time, all three of us have our own opinions. Freya and Anise alternate between arguing with me, and I'm sure they are also arguing with each other.

-Martouf-

What do I do! I ask 'Lantash.' I'm holding a bowl and looking at the food in it.

This is no reason to panic.

I can't think of what to cook.

We can have what we had yesterday.

I don't want what I had yesterday.

You liked it.

I shake my head. Yes, I liked it, but I don't want it again. I need to be creative. I look over our supplies. I'll add bark dust!

'Lantash' sighs. Add bark dust.

I add bark dust and taste it. It doesn't make much of a difference. I sigh and close my eyes. I'm tired.

You should sleep then.

I look over at Sam, who is asleep on the bed. She looks so peaceful.

Join her.

That sounds good. I set everything down and go into the bed. She mutters something as I try not to disturb her. I watch her for a moment. I think she's starting to have another nightmare. I wish I could take the nightmares out of her head.

I close my eyes, soon sleeping myself.

I wake up feeling lonely. I shake my head slightly. Lantash? He still asleep? He's not doing anything. I sit up carefully, slowly realizing I don't sense him at all. Lantash!

I get up and start looking around the room. Where am I? I run over to one of the corners, which seems to have a panel on it. Maybe I can-

"Ow."

I back away, realizing I stepped on someone. "Amb?"

He's sitting in the corner. "Yes?" It sounds like he's been crying.

"What happened?"

"I can't feel Malek."

Thinking of Lantash, I touch the back of my neck. "He's probably just asleep...very asleep."

"Then he needs to wake up."

"They aren't asleep," is Freya's voice.

I look over to her. "What?"

"I overheard some of the Jaffa talking. They've been removed."

"Removed?" Amb sounds very panicked. "They removed Malek! He's not even in me!"

My loneliness has just increased. I touch the back of my neck again. Is Lantash actually gone? Shouldn't I have known this right away? "They removed them instead of killing them," I say as I look around. Gete is here, awake and watching the rest of us. I wish he had said something. "So they are alive. We just have to find them." Where is Samantha and the others? I start pacing the room. A feeling of panic is there through, ready to crush if I let it. "We need to figure a way out."

Gete actually chuckles. I look to him. "Any ideas?"

"No," He shakes his head, grinning slightly.

Aldwin tends to smile through rough moments. Hadn't realized Gete was the same way. I always thought Aldwin was somehow responsible. I nod slightly. We'll figure something out.

Something wakes me up. I look around, realizing I'm back in the safety of the cabin. Blended again.

I didn't like that dream, 'Lantash' says.

I look to Samantha, who's still asleep. Did you wake me up?

Not that I know of.

I keep looking at Samantha. I wonder what you look like.

What?

You.

Me?

Yes, you, 'Lantash.' I wonder what you look like.

Hmm. I wonder what I look like too. He wiggles. I'm snake-like. More wiggling. My mouth kind of opens in four sections... He gives me a visual for this. ...and I can squeal.

Sounds a bit creepy.

Hiss!

...and very handsome.

That's better.

-Day 66-

-Earth-

-Selmak-

Jacob is staring at a plate of cookies and thinking about how Samantha used to make cookies when she was a little girl. He hears someone approach behind us, and that is followed by George Hammond's voice. "Hello Jacob."

"Hi George." Jacob is a bit pleased that he came. Aside from the fact that George is very busy, he feared George might consider the funeral too soon. Most here probably do, but most don't know exactly why Sam disappeared either. "Thank you for coming."

"I wouldn't miss her funeral." He sounds almost offended that Jacob would think otherwise.

Jacob turns to him. "You tend to keep on hoping for the impossible. I know you believe that...certain people..." They both know he refers to the Tok'ra. "...tend to give up too soon. You probably think I'm doing the same."

"Jacob..."

"I know what the odds are though...and I need this. I'm not going to let you or Jack or anyone else to tell me when it is okay to start mourning her. I can't be there for one funeral, then wait months for the next. What am I supposed to do in between? Have hope while I mourn her? That's ridiculous."

"I wasn't judging you."

"Mark thinks it's too soon. I don't blame him. His kids haven't stopped crying, and they are angry at me for not telling them what happened to their aunt." Jacob looks back to the cookies. "I don't blame them either." He pauses. "Mark knows I know more. He keeps asking me if I have any idea what happened to her, how she might have died."

"Do you plan on telling him any more?"

Jacob is quieter as he answers, and he makes sure no one is around to hear it. "How do I tell my son that his sister was probably tortured to death?" Then he's silent for a bit before turning back to George. "How is Teal'c?"

"What?" George is a bit surprised by the question.

"The last time I saw him, he was standing by himself while everyone else was talking."

"I'll go talk to him."

"Thank you."

Teal'c is probably not in a talkative mood anyway. I'm sure George knows this, but neither of us want to point this out to Jacob. If sending George off to talk to Teal'c does a little easing, we aren't going to take that away. Jacob looks at the cookies some more before retreating. I continue watching the cookies, not really sure what to do. It's not the first time that he's had me portray him while on Earth. However, it's awkward to do at his daughter's funeral, and I've never done it with anyone he knew, let alone his family and friends.

I'm sorry, Jacob thinks. I just can't go through another funeral. He realizes how much he prefers Tok'ra funerals. They are short and to the point. It gives those who want the chance to retreat and mourn alone.

I go into the living room and find Teal'c has somehow ended up in a conversation with two friends Jacob hasn't seen in a while, Robert Forest and Cyrus Glenwood. They spot me and approach. Now what do I do? Jacob is still firmly ignoring reality.

They both look sad, and Robert speaks. "We were really sorry to hear about Sam."

I reply with Jacobness. "Thank you for coming." Yeah, that was stupid.

"She was a brilliant woman," Cyrus says. "I'm sure whatever she was doing in that mountain has helped many people."

You have no idea. "I'm sure it has, and it'll keep helping people."

"I know you probably don't want to talk," Cyrus adds. "If there is anything you need..."

I Jacobly nod and add a Jacobly "Thank you." That satisfies them into walking away. I feel bad. They used to be very close to Jacob. They were supportive of him through everything, up until he "miraculously fought off the cancer." Jacob's made a few calls to them while on Earth since then, but he actually hasn't seen them until now. They left him alone because they know what he would have wanted, not knowing they never even spoke to him.

I go back to the kitchen. Less people here. I miss Samantha. Even though she only considered me to be the symbiote in her father, she was my daughter. I loved her as such. Jacob has freely shared the memories of her growing up. She used to go to her dad when something scared her. She stopped for a while, but she started doing it after they grew close again. She was strong, yet when she was afraid, something in the back of her mind said "When I'm scared, Dad will keep me safe." It wasn't just him though. I was there keeping her safe too.

Then we both failed, Jacob thinks.

He's right. She kept us safe, but we couldn't do the same. If it weren't for her I would have been dead. She saved me. She trusted me with her father. Martouf once admitted that he asked her to blend with me. I was glad she refused. It would have been awkward with Jolinar having died within her so recently...and I would have never gotten to know Jacob. He would have died of cancer. I would have only known about him through memory. That idea is depressing. I think meeting Martouf helped Samantha trust the Tok'ra as she did. They also both risked going to Netu to save us. Now they are gone.

I look to the cookies again. I have no idea who brought them. They are kind of comforting to look at though.

-Planet Neeria-

-Samantha-

Daniel and I are thrown into a brig. He sits down. "Captured again."

I grin slightly. It seems to be an odd thing to do in this situation. "Well, Teal'c escaped." There were too many Jaffa to fight. Malek practically ordered us to head to through the stargate. I know he intended on following us. All of SG-1 got to the gate, managing to get ahead of the Jaffa. Teal'c dialed, and I sent in the code. We made it up the stairs and waited for Daniel. He ended up having to take cover. Then Teal'c was shot. With that injury I knew he'd make it if he received medical care, so I pushed him through. He didn't look very happy about it, but he was still recovering from the shot, so he couldn't really do anything about it. I waited for Daniel to come up so we could both go through.

Obviously that last part didn't happen.

"Um...Sam, what is that?"

I approach a tank that Daniel is pointing at. "Goa'uld," I reply bitterly.

"Why would they put us in a room with Goa'uld?" He frowns. "What exactly do they plan on doing?"

One snake quickly approaches the side of the tank, looking at me. I glare at it. Now they are all looking at me. Four of them. Ugh! The first one makes that revolting squeal.

"I hate those things," Daniel says. "I really hate those things."

I glare at the first symbiote, since it seems to enjoy watching me. Then it turns over. There are five freckles under the lower jaw. I approach closer. Those freckles look familiar.

"Sam?" Daniel questions.

I move in close to the glass and study the symbiote. Wait. I find two more freckles where I look for them. I know those freckles! I know him! I open the tank, and he slowly goes to the top. I carefully take him out.

"Sam!" Daniel is alarmed.

"It's Lantash."

Lantash squeals sadly.

"Are you sure?" Daniel asks.

"Yeah, I know what he looks like." I mostly look to the Tok'ra. I want to ask him if he knows where Martouf is, but even if he does know, he couldn't answer me. I gently pet down his back.

Daniel flinches when Lantash gently nips at the hand holding him. It didn't hurt. It was affectionate. He squeals again. I look to the others in the tank. Four Tok'ra...four symbiotes. I look back to Lantash. "I assume the others are also Tok'ra."

He looks to me. He squeals.

Daniel looks between curious and still afraid. "I don't know about you, but I haven't learned symbiote."

I shrug lightly. "Was that a yes?'

Squeal.

"What would be a no?"

Lantash makes a short abrupt squeal that sounds almost like a chirp.

"So it was a yes."

Squeal.

"Do you know where Martouf is?"

Sad chirp.

"I'm sorry."

He makes another type of squeal. I have no idea what he is saying. He makes another affectionate nip then leans over to the tank. I put him back in it. He swims around to look at me. I kind of miss holding him. I liked his little nip. It was comforting somehow. I feel bad about what I said earlier. "I'm sorry I insulted you."

All four squeal back at me.

I grin, then look to Daniel. "Well, I'm either being forgiven or scolded."

Daniel moves closer. "That didn't sound like angry squeals."

I look back to them, mostly to Lantash. I knew what he looked like, but it's the first I've actually seen him. He's cute, especially with those freckles. Almost beautiful really, though I don't know how he'd feel about being called that. He has a nice voice, well, squeal. I prefer it when it doesn't sound sad. I wonder where Martouf is. I'll keep Lantash safe until we find Martouf. I love them. I could never tell them. They couldn't possibly feel the same way. Care for me? Yes. Love me? No. I think about how we met. If they learned how I really felt...I don't know what I'd do. It might hurt them, and I don't want to ever hurt them.

to be continued...

Besh and Joth-Elderly farming couple who took in Martouf
Ichard-Doctor's Assistant
Nara and Bex-Took in Amb. Daughter is getting married.
Starna and Teff-Store owners. Took in Gete.
Thom-Doctor