Disclaimer: Haven't got it, never had it.
Author's note: Really big thanks for the reviews, reviewers' rock. This is sort of filler. A little bit of tension but not much else.
Neela was actually feeling pretty good. After expecting some discomfort around Tony for ending the night so abruptly, She found him jovial and more than happy to see her as she was called down to the ER for a surgical consult.
"Hey mayday" He grinned from ear to ear. She had hoped that the nickname would have been old by now, but it still amused him and she found herself stuck with it.
"What we got?" She asked taking a chart from him. She pushed through the doors stopping as she bumped into something solid. She looked up into the startled face of Ray Barnett. She couldn't help the brief connection of their eyes, two people who had once known each other so well. She dropped her gaze back to the chart quickly finding herself shamed by the look in his eyes, the cold distance she had put there with her continued disregard for his existence. His eyes no longer held the friendly warmth they had always greeted her with in the past. She had hurt him too much and she knew because of her fear of her own feelings she had lost the best friendship she would ever have. He looked drained and she found her mind wondering to if he had resumed to his party animal ways, if some insistent bimbo warming his bed had exhausted him.
She blocked out the thought, psychologically slapping herself for even thinking it.
"We don't need you Neela, she's stable now, we are now sending her up to the OR for you guys to finish up." Ray declared flatly leaving her gaping at his now withdrawing back.
"I put in a drain to take the pressure off her heart, She's stable enough to move," He added over his shoulder as He left both her and Tony staring after him.
She was hurt at his complete dismissal of her, but she knew it was long overdue, she had done everything she could think of to push him away and it seemed she had accomplished it. She didn't feel the long expected liberation at the distance she had placed between them, she felt empty, hollow in her chest. Disappointed that she had gotten her way and finally killed his every thought that they could be friends again.
Her gaze flicked up to Tony, stunned to find him staring after Ray with a look of pure venom. She thought maybe he was concerned for Ray's indifference towards her.
"Arrogant prick" He muttered coldly eyes still fixed hard on the place where Ray had disappeared from view.
"Ray's a good doctor, he was probably just trying to save some time," She said a hand moving to his arm as a pacifying measure.
He shifted under her hand his stance easing even if his vicious gaze hadn't.
"It just makes me angry the way He treats you" He said covering her hand with his own.
She knew he wasn't just talking about just now; he was talking about the whisper of dozens of incorrect rumors and half-truths that had been distorted by gossips with too much time and too little sense.
"Whatever you've heard is untrue, Ray was never anything but a good friend" she sighed heavily. A good friend that she had managed to push away because she was too weak to accept his friendship.
He looked embarrassed by either her statement or his own she was too exhausted to work out which it was. She left him there without another word.
The rest of the shift was no better, Her perceived fragility had her being given routine uncomplicated procedures that proved no challenge and gave little or no sense of achievement.
Albright maintain the sickly false politeness that had become the norm since Michael's death, Dubenko was full of quiet concern.
She felt suffocated and when her shift finished she felt relieved that she could finally go home and hide. She would sink into a deep bathtub full of hot water and then order takeout for one. Perched squarely in front of the TV until she was too tired to think about anything.