(Unicorn682006, thanks. Glad to see a response to that little sub-story.)

Part 16, Tok'ra

-Gete-

I go to my quarters. I want Aldwin back in my head. I know where he is too. It's not fair. How come I was the one who told the Neerians that the symbiotes needed to be put back, and I'm the only host who didn't get someone? Four months with my lonely self, and two more days of it.

"How are you feeling?" Amb asks. He's at the door.

Must be polite. "Missing my symbiote."

Amb nods. "I know the feeling. I miss Malek."

Yes, but at least you have someone. My someone. Give me Aldwin back, then you can complain. Otherwise, shut up! I make a polite grin. "We'll get them back soon."

"I'll leave you to yourself." He leaves.

I realize he knew I was angry. I chased him away, along with Aldwin. Now I feel lonelier. Hey, come back! Should I go after him? I consider it. I'd probably just be snappy at him though. I don't want Aldwin's first impression of me with my memories to be "Wow, he's rude."

I shake my head slightly. Kilso was right. I should have waited until tomorrow. Then I'd only have one day to deal with being Aldwin-less. I sit on my bed and bring my legs up to hug them. How am I going to make it through the next couple days?

-Daniel-

I've spent my time wandering around the tunnels to get familiar with them. They have the same set up on every planet, so it is a good time to figure out what is where. I have no idea where I am at the moment, but I find Kela'an. He's monitoring something. "Hi."

He looks to me. "Daniel."

"I heard you were the one who figured out about the attack...um...thanks."

"Actually Drack was."

"Drack...oh, your host."

"Yes, him."

"Well, thank you, Drack."

"He says your welcome."

He seems busy. I turn around and start heading away.

"How long will you be staying?" he asks.

I turn around. "What?"

"You have your memory back, and you have no symbiote to have transferred. There is no reason for you to remain here."

"I'm staying for Sam's sake. She might need help."

"Do you not believe the Tok'ra are willing to help her?"

"I'm sure they are. What's this about?"

He's quiet for a moment. "If you insist on staying, I would appreciate if you avoided Freya."

"Why...?" I trail off, connecting his new attitude and her recent news. "Oh."

He just looks at me.

"I guess I'll be avoiding Freya."

He turns away, going back to his work without another word. I go to my room. It's the first time in a while that I felt uncomfortable at the Tok'ra base.

-Sam-

It's been a day since I got my memories back. Olokun arrived at the new planet he was sent to, and thankfully, the plan worked. He assumed they had been ambushed and didn't want to bother avenging them. The Neerians will be safe from him.

It's now time for the symbiotes to get their memories back. The healing room is kind of crowded. People want to be there, and I think the Tok'ra feel less of a need to back off now that the human Tok'ra got all their memories back.

I won't be 'Carter' for much longer, 'Carter' thinks. She feels sad about that. I like 'Carter.'

Once you get your memories back, you'll prefer your real name.

She hugs me, which is sending a tingling warmth through my skin. I'm going to miss that. She's been clinging to me all day, which feels like her hugs, but constant.

"Who is the first volunteer?" Kilso asks.

You want to be first? I ask.

I get a negative response.

'Malek' moves forward and sits down on the bed. He's grinning a bit.

Kilso approaches. "You need to stay in control until I'm done." He quickly gets to work, running the devise over him. Gete is watching, looking rather eager. Martouf is watching Gete, keeping a smile that tells me he's amused. Freya seems distracted, and I think she's biting her fingernails.

Kilso steps away when he's done. "How do you feel?"

'Malek' opens his eyes, still grinning. He stands and turns to Gete. "Gete."

"Aldwin!" Gete is very quick to take a few steps and hug.

I guess he's Aldwin, 'Carter' thinks.

He seemed Aldwinish.

"I keep thinking stuff, and no one responds," Gete says.

"I'll be back soon."

"Hours."

They keep hugging while Kilso asks who is next.

'Anise' takes a quick step forwards, glances to Martouf and I to make sure we don't mind, then continues. She glances to Gete and Aldwin, who are talking quietly together, then looks to Kilso. I wonder if she has any idea who she is. Kilso works on her and asks how she feels afterwards.

"I feel fine." She stands up.

It's kind of funny that everyone stands up right after they get their memory back. I don't think Kilso approves of that.

Kilso scans her. "Mind telling us who you are?"

"Anise."

So it was Anise all along.

Poor Anise, 'Carter' thinks.

Why "poor Anise?" She doesn't have to miss her host. They are already together.

She has no one eagerly waiting to give her hugs, telling her how much they miss her, and saying they can't wait until they are blended again.

That's a sad way to think about it.

She's also the only symbiote who wasn't brought closer to another human do to a misplaced blending.

I chuckle to the term. That's assuming 'Malek' isn't actually Malek.

Well, 'Lantash' just volunteered to be next, and Amb is giving him the same expression Gete gave Aldwin...so unless Amb doesn't know his own symbiote...

You're Lantash.

It seems I am.

Lantash. I really didn't want it to be Lantash. He'll know everything now, and soon Martouf will know everything.

It can't be that bad. I must like you. Remember I called you Pretty?

Crap. Lantash knows when I first saw him I was disgusted.

You didn't realize it was me. He chuckles, and the reality seems to set in. That was me!

Yes, that was you.

That was me worrying about Martouf. That was me squealing in sadness. That was... You held me.

Yes, I did.

And I nipped you.

A gentle nip.

I have freckles!

Yes, you do. Thankfully. I wouldn't have recognized him otherwise.

"'Carter,'" Kilso calls.

'Carter' takes control. "Yes? Oh, right. Sorry, we were talking." He looks to Martouf...or Malek...whichever one is in control.

Well, he's hugging Amb, so I assume its Malek.

It must feel odd to be able to hug your own host like that.

We go to the bed and sit down. Kilso starts working. Soon memories flow through 'Carter'...Lantash's mind. I feel like I'm watching and living them on the same time. Many of the memories leave me as soon as they are lived, but some of the most important memories have stayed. I wonder how long it'll take for them to disappear from me all together. Hopefully not too long. I feel like I'm invading.

Only a few seconds have passed in the end, but it felt much longer. I now know that this is definitely Lantash. He looks to Martouf afterwards, suddenly seeing him very differently than he had for the past four months.

It's almost funny. All this time he kept saying that this experience was the only reason he was part of the relationship, but it was really me who was the outsider. I quietly watch them hug.

Kilso is going around and monitoring everyone. He turns to Jack afterwards. I can't hear what he says, but Dad looks happy with it. Jack looks surprised.

-Selmak-

Kilso just said he'd like Sam to stay an extra day. Needless to say, Jacob is happy with having another day to spend with his daughter. Kilso seems to need to convince Jack of this. "Samantha will need time to adjust, and I would also like to keep monitoring her."

Jack considers this. "I think this should be up to her. We can ask her tomorrow."

"We can ask her after this."

Jack looks over, looking unsure.

"It'll give her more time to decide," Kilso adds.

"Yeah...but..."

Kilso frowns. "Is there a problem?"

Jacob decides to speak. "Lantash wouldn't purposely influence her decision."

"But he may influence her."

"I'm sure he'll have an opinion about the idea, and she'll of course know what it is. It won't be any different than when I give her my opinion."

"Besides..." Kilso adds, "Lantash has a right to give his opinion. Until tomorrow, she is his host."

I don't think Jack liked Kilso saying that. Jacob approaches his daughter when Lantash doesn't seem busy. "Samantha."

She gets control and looks to her dad. Martouf leaves. Sam watches him leave for a second before looking back to us. "Dad."

"Kilso thinks you should stay an extra day."

Her eyebrows raise a bit, and she looks to Jack.

"It's up to you," Jack replies.

"I don't know." She frowns a little, looking put on the spot.

"You have time to figure it out," Jacob says as he hugs his daughter.

She nods. "I'm going to go back to my room. Lantash is tired."

I'd imagine suddenly remembering over a thousand years of memories would be tiring. Sam also looks tired.

"All right." Jacob turns back to Jack when she leaves. "I need to return to Earth now. I have a son who is still mourning his sister. I've stayed to help her adjust while she still had amnesia, but at this point, she can miss me for a few hours." He feels guilty still, having to decide between being there for Sam and telling Mark. Mark thinks his sister is dead, but Sam was in a strange place with strangers with few people she could fully trust.

Jack nods.

Jacob leaves, deciding to talk to Sam first, also thinking of what he'll say to Mark. He heads up to the surfaces and walks to the chaapa'ai. What do I say?

Tell him that she was found, but do to needed recovery, she cannot return yet.

Jacob sighs softly as he dials, feeling guilty. He was right. We gave up too soon.

What other option was there?

Keep up hope.

The Tok'ra don't deal with loss that way.

He sighs as he heads up the steps to the gate.

They were captured and disappeared shortly after. Most of the time, hell, ninety percent of the time, that means they were killed. We searched where we could, and everyone was on a lookout for them. It was all we could do. Moving on was for us, not them. We have too many disappearances like this to refuse to move on.

That doesn't mean I should have brought my son into it. He goes through and finds himself on the other side. He waits to be greeted and says he needs to use the phone.

I respond as he follows someone to a phone. Pretend you weren't involved. Imagine this was before you learned about the stargate and the Goa'uld.

Yeah? He sits down in front of a phone.

Would you want the SGC telling you they'll find her while they were actually mourning her?

Jacob frowns, shaking his head lightly. No.

You told Mark what you believed to be the truth. You shouldn't feel guilty about that.

Jacob still isn't entirely convinced, but he does realize Mark needs to be told a little more than he is told. He hesitates a while before dialing.

Mark answers, "Hello?" He sounds sleepy.

Jacob frowns, looking at the time, realizing he probably woke Mark up. Nice father I am, he thinks sarcastically. I wait until he's asleep to call. "Hello Mark."

"Dad?" There's a pause. "Is there something wrong?"

Jacob hesitates for a second. "We found her."

"Found...? Sam?" The second part is locked with a combination of anticipated excitement or dread. After all, he wasn't told whether or not she was found alive.

"She's alive."

"Is she all right?"

Jacob hadn't fully explained yet because, like with explaining her disappearance, it'll be a combination of truth and lies. He hates lying to his son, especially when it concerns Sam. "She and the others had managed to escape. Sam was injured when we found her. She's going to be fine, but she needs some time to recover."

"How was she injured?"

Jacob knew he'd ask. "She was shot." It was either that or say she was burned. Both would be true, but saying she was burned would imply she might have been tortured. We know Sam wouldn't want Mark thinking this.

"She was shot?" He sounds worried again. "Are you sure she's going to be okay? Can I talk to her?"

"I'm sorry, you can't." He closes his eyes in guilt. "I'll call back in a few days. She'll be with me then. You can talk to her then. I know you're worried, but she's going to be fine. She's with...allies right now. They're taking care of her. Some of the people who disappeared with her are part of them."

"Martouf's people?"

Jacob is a little surprised until he remembers he told Mark that Martouf was a guide from a classified location. "Yeah, Martouf's people. They are in a much safer place than where they were when they disappeared."

"Is everyone who was captured safe?"

"Yeah. They all escaped."

There is a pause. "Did you leave her location to call me?"

"...Yes."

I can almost hear him smile. "You should go back to her."

Jacob nods. "Goodbye Mark."

"Goodbye Dad."

Jacob hangs up, and I hug him. Do you feel better?

Yeah.

We should go back to her, like Mark said.

He grins. Yeah.

-Sam-

I'm still avoiding Martouf, and Lantash has, for the most part, retreated. He's quietly going through Jolinar's memories now. I haven't protested. He probably has more right to them than I do. He trying to figure out exactly why she took me as a host.

Gete comes into the room. "Hi."

"How are you?"

"Like half my soul is missing. You?"

I frown slightly, feeling bad for him. "Would talking to Aldwin help?"

"Tried that, and no it doesn't." He sits down. "Amb kept wanting to talk to Malek." He grins. "Malek was there. Amb and Aldwin had to keep switching control to talk to the person they are supposed to be blended with." He shrugs lightly. "All I kept thinking the entire time was that I wanted him back in my head."

"Sorry."

"Why are you sorry?"

"This is delayed because I was shot."

"True, but I think Kilso would insist we delay anyway, to deal with the memories first."

"Still..."

"Still what?" He shakes his head. "Malek, great symbiote, but his ability to heal his host is..." He shakes his hand lightly. "Well, he's certainly not the best at it. Lantash on the other hand, he's great. Not as good as Aldwin," he adds proudly, "but he's very good."

Hadn't realized that.

"My point is, you were shot because you pushed him out of the way. Aside from healing abilities, the shot wasn't as direct because you were moving. So less direct shot..." He touches his right index finger to his left. "..a better healer..." He then touches his left middle finger, now holding two fingers up on his left hand. It's amusing. Never seen anyone outside of Earth do that. "...still, you and Lantash barely survived. If it had been Malek and Martouf..."

I feel Lantash shudder suddenly, not listening to anything, but definitely picking up on my thoughts of the idea of Martouf dying. What are you talking about? Why is Martouf's death a conversational piece?

I quickly explain.

Martouf, he thinks sadly before retreating again.

I shake my head slightly. "Now you have Lantash sad about that idea."

"Sorry Lantash." Gete shifts in his seat. "Even if I'm wrong, they would have been shot, and we'd be waiting for them." He looks a little more serious. "I didn't come here just to complain about my lack of Aldwin."

"What is it?"

"How are you doing?"

That is a little surprising. Never been close to Gete. Never really spoke to him before the capture, and we didn't speak much while on Neeria. "I'm fine."

"Are you scared?"

"Why would I be scared?"

"Because the symbiote you've been blended with for the past four months is going to go somewhere else." He tilts his head slightly. "It's fine if you're scared. I'm scared, and I'm older."

"Are you?" It's more a statement than a question.

"In Earth years I am a hundred and five."

My eyes widen slightly. "Wow." I knew hosts could be and probably were older than me, but it's still surprising to hear how old individuals are. "I always suddenly feel young when a Tok'ra tells me how old they are." I still remember how overwhelmed and shocked I was when I learned Martouf had been married for almost a hundred years. Up until then he seemed about my age.

"You are young."

"I guess you can never tell how old a Tok'ra is."

He grins. "No."

"Are any of them around my age?"

"Many are around your age... I don't think you met them though."

I grin slightly, wondering how much younger than me they look.

"How long will you be staying after the symbiotes return to their original hosts?"

"Kilso told me to stay an extra day."

"You should."

"It's strange."

He chuckles. "Strange? Yesterday I found out I've spent the last four months secretly dating my own symbiote." He shakes his head. "Do you have any idea how much Aldwin and I are going to be teased for this?"

I frown. "Tok'ra tease each other?"

"We're less serious when it's just Tok'ra. We're like any other family. I know you and Mark tease each other. I hear about it from Jacob." He grins. "At least we're not alone. Martouf and Lantash also have that to look forward to."

I touch the back of my neck. Poor Lantash is going to be teased.

Gete touches my arm lightly. "I'll be ready to listen if you ever need."

"Thank you, but I'll be fine."

"I hope so." He gets up. "I think I'm going to see if I can talk to Aldwin."

I nod. "If not, you can come back here...if you want."

"Thank you." He walks off, but then turns back. "Oh, Samantha?"

"Yes?"

"Can you not mention the whole thing about Tok'ra teasing each other to anyone? It's not something we tell outsiders."

"I won't. So I guess you broke that tradition by telling me?"

"You're not an outsider." He walks away.

I'm not an outsider?

Many Tok'ra consider you to be part of us, Lantash thinks. After this, I am certain more will believe the same.

I had no idea.

To be continued...

(Hmm, so should Lantash figure out why Jolinar did what she did, or should he be left wondering?)