Disclaimer: I own jack
Author's note: Okay I'm fully caffeinated and on a roll. Thanks for shiny reviews love 'em.
Neela had been too busy to try and find out what Abby knew so when both of their shifts finished she grabbed hold of Abby's arm and leaned in conspiratorially. Abby rolled her eyes but obliged letting Neela lead her into the Ikes.
"Okay spill, what did he say?" She asked without bothering to specify exactly whom they were discussing, it was obvious who she was talking about.
"He's been suspended for two weeks" Abby confirmed ordering herself a coffee, while Neela opted for an orange juice, She really wanted something stronger but she always felt awkward drinking around Abby. It seemed somehow insensitive.
"And?" She pushed expectantly, she already knew that much.
"And " Abby shifted uncomfortably like she knew something she didn't want to tell her. "And Gates kinda deserved it" She averted her gaze from Neela awkwardly.
Neela knew that her friend didn't really like Tony but tolerated him for Neela's sake.
"Why what did he do?" Neela was confused she knew that Ray and Tony had a few differences of opinion but that happened all the time. It was hardly reason enough to punch someone no matter how much they annoyed you.
"Gates said something that Ray found offensive," Abby answered as if it cleared everything up.
"Like what?" Neela found herself confused Ray was fairly hard to offend, he was used to people's opinions of him being jaded by his rocker look.
"He implied…Gates implied that you and Ray had…Well that you had been unfaithful to Michael and that Ray was jealous that you were with Gates now" Abby looked at her awaiting some sort of reaction.
She was speechless. Ray had been defending her honour and had gotten himself suspended for his trouble.
More to the point he had been defending her to Tony, her so called friend Tony, who had told Ray that Neela and he were together. God she was naïve, she had thought that Tony and her could just be friends. Thought that he knew that was all she wanted.
"Ray got suspended because of me" It was a squeak, pathetic. Why was Ray defending her they weren't friends anymore, they didn't even talk.
No, she corrected herself, he had never stopped being her friend, he had tried to talk to her, tried to be there through her grief over Michael and she had given him the cold shoulder. Pushing him away because of her inappropriate feelings for him and the fact that she wasn't mature enough to handle them.
He had always been her friend.
"I've really screwed up haven't I" She asked Abby sullenly.
"I don't know, I think maybe you should talk to someone else about this" Abby said honestly. They both knew who the someone else was and Neela knew that her and Ray were long overdue a chat.
"It's hard you know" She knew Abby could see right through her.
"It doesn't have to be" Abby sighed sympathetically.
"I...When I moved out…I was never unfaithful to Michael you know that right" She felt tears burning in the corners of her eyes, despite how close her and Abby were she had never said this to anyone and she was worried how it would sound. "I moved out because I was thinking about Ray…differently, about being with Ray" She looked up watching intently for any sort of judgement from her friend before continuing. " I loved Michael, I really did Abby but I started to feel things for Ray that I shouldn't have, then when Michael died I just couldn't face Ray, whenever I saw him it was a reminder of how I had betrayed Michael, even though nothing happened, I…I wanted it too and now I've lost Ray's friendship" The words came out in a rushed bundle. This was the first time she had ever told anyone what had happened. She felt the tears flowing freely down her cheeks
Abby put an arm around her shoulder.
"He just needs to know that you still want to be his friend, he wouldn't have defended you to Tony if he didn't still care " She reasoned igniting a tiny spark of hope in Neela.