Elena stormed out of her room. Ooo was she PISSED, and it showed on her face, a very unusual occurance. "With all due respect sir, you're wrong," She pinned him with those flaming eyes "In case you hadn't forgotten whose line I came from. ..my great aunt Aya was a Turk, and she had a family, and she handled both quite admirably, thank you very much. Her nephew, her adopted son, was Cynthia and I's father, and he also handled both responsibilities perfectly fine. And you better not even GIVE me that 'Being a Turk is more than a job, it's a lifestyle' bullshit, because again I will point out to you the things I've just stated." With that she jabbed a finger in the direction Reno had gone "Besides, sir, that man out there, even you must admit, is one of the finest of us. But, he is having a very rough time of it. How good do you think it is going to be for his mental stability should you send away the last blood kin he has?"
miRude frowned, then bowed to both Tseng and Rufus. "Sir," he said, moving to go after Reno. He was SO not getting into the middle of THAT firefight.
"Elena," Tseng said, tone indicating that he WOULD be listened to. "Your great aunt Aya WAS a fine Turk, however she did not start her family until the was 35... And as for your father, he was raising two future Turks." Tseng paused. "If I remember correctly, your mother was the one who raised you more than your father, wasn't she?" Tseng spared a glance at Rufus before continuing. "As for Reno... his abilities as a Turk are not being called into question. His mental stability, as you are well aware, is not at all condusive to helping raise a child." Tseng's fingers went to the bridge of his nose. He could feel a real headache coming on.
"The girl will be taken care of... just not by a Turk."
"Fine then sir. . I'm out of here, if she will not be raised by a Turk. ..she will however be raised by ME. If it takes me no longer being one to raise her, then you will find my resignation papers on your desk in the morning. You KNOW what my career means to me sir. .but you can also see. ..what not only the stability of my friend. .. but the stability of that little girl means to me." She faced down her superior, and one could see she meant every word.
Rufus broke in. "Children," he said, voice forceful. "This is getting us nowhere." He turned to Elena. "Tseng is right. The Turks and travelling with us is no place for a girl her age to grow up right in. You can't deny that." He paused to take a shakey breath, then continued. "However, I am unable to accept your resignation at this time, Elena. I need all available Turks to help me rebuilt ShinRa Electric Power Company. We can and will find her a suitable foster home until the rebuilding is complete. Is that acceptable to you?"
She nodded, but one could tell it HURT. ..
Reno on the other hand was pacing in fury "Fucking asshole. ..he knew. ..he KNEW what I had planned once all this craziness was over and he pops off with this. .."
Rude lit a cigarette, handing it to Reno before lighting one for himself. He took a long drag from it, then spoke. "Tseng is under a lot more stress than we are right now." It was the only excuse he could think of for Tseng's behavior. Normally, the man was just chilly, but his words that time were brutally cold.
"Doesn't give him an excuse to hur the people he should be turning to."
"The President's condition is his top priority," Rude tried again. "Remember how much it affected you when I took that bullet three years ago? Remember how they told you I might not walk again? Remember how you were?" He paused, preferring not to bring up his biggest failure as a Turk. His voice softened. "Remember how much of a mess you were?"
He nods. "Yeah. ..but I didn't tear Elena's head off when she tried to help me, either..I didn''t take her dreams and tear them to shreds."
Rude wanted to say that the boss needed a day off, but he knew that wasn't going to happen ANYTIME soon. "The President will explain it to her. She listens to him."
Reno nodded again, taking out his cell, trying to reach his uncle. "I sure as Shit hope Myron survived Meteor, because hes the only family I trust with her. ..and she sure as FUCK isn't going outside the clan with the exception of Elena if I have anything to say about it."
Rude grunted, purchasing a newspaper from the machine at the bottom of the stairs.
Elena walked into the room, quiet sobs from her and shouted denials and then crying from the girl could be heard as she broke the news.
As Rude read the middle of the paper, a small smile broke across his face. Here we go. "Reno," he said, offering the redhead the paper. "How about this?" He pointed to a small article about a certain spikey haired former nemisis of theirs and his girlfriend with the massive boobs opening an orphanage for those children left behind from Meteor and the illness.
"Maybe. ..but will he do it? He hates me, yo."
Elena strides out now, her face still wet, but her eyes hard as stone. "I hope you're proud of yourselves for breaking that little girl's heart." she said before she strode outside.
Rufus just shook his head, knowing that while it could have gone better, it had to be done.
"He doesn't hate you," Rude said. He took a closer look at the grainy picture. Yup, Cloud's girl sure had a nice set. "Besides, he's one of the good guys. He has to do it."
"You and Boobs get along better than I do with her. ..could you call her? Maybe she'll listen to you."
Elena stormed by them without a word. ..one could see she was on the verge of breaking down again as she had when she'd told Em she couldn''t stay.
"You take care of her," he said, nodding towards the rapidly moving Elena. "I'll see what I can do." He turned his back to Reno, feeling mildly uncomfortable calling the object of his past facination in front of his current love interest.
Reno followed her, but wasn't sure he was the best to handle this, he actuallly AGREED with her. "hey. .." he set a hand on her shoulder.
Rude rocked his weight back and forth as the phone rang. "Pick up... no, don't pick up... dammit..." he muttered to himself.
Elena spun around in a fury of movement. "I don't need your sympathy, Reno. She's YOUR cousin, for chrissakes."
"I know you loved her, Elena. ..I know. ..and I agree with you, it's not right to let you and her bond and THEN suddenly say something. I long ago accepted if I was gonna have kids, it would be after I was too old to serve."
"Last I checked, Reno, YOU were not a woman." Elena's words were venomous.
Rude took a deep breath as he listened to the answering machine's instructions to leave a message. He could do this. He could. And not hang up. Really.
"yo, don't kill the guy who's trying to help you here." Held up his hands defensively. "Just 'cause I'm not doesn't mean I didn't hope to adopt a couple someday. 'course we know how that's gonna go over now." he grunts, he was as furious with Tseng as she was.
"Hello, Miss Lockheart?" Rude said to the machine. "This is Rude... from the Turks. Um, I read in the paper that you and Cloud have this home for kids, and... well... Reno and I found this girl, her parents... and Meteor... yeah. Just... just give me a call when you get this, please."
"My father was a good man," Elena said, almost as if she were convincing herself instead of Reno. "A good Turk, and a good father."
"He had ta be to have you turn out as well as ya have. Make no mistake. . .you're not only a good Turk, but a good person, damn sight less fucked up than I am."
Almost as soon as he hung up, Rude's phone rang. He jumped, answering it. "Rude... Uh, yes, Miss Lockheart... Oh, Tifa. Sorry... yes, we do..."
Elena sighed, her breath coming out shakily. "But I never saw him..." She paused to take another breath. "Can I tell you a secret?"
"Sure, babe."
"I used to hate the Turks," Elena said softly, looking at her shoes.
"Yes, a little girl," Rude said, adjusting his tie as he held the phone in a tight grip. "We can't keep her with us right now... Yes, temporary, until things clear up..."
"I heard your sister was really competitive. ..she had to be better than you in everything."
Elena laughed ruefully. "I didn't make the cut the first time. She did. I was... I was so MAD at her, and at ShinRa..."
"Thank you, ma'am," Rude said, finally breathing before he hung up the phone.
"You weren't ready then, but you are now. And I gotta say youre better than she was. You still have a heart."
Rude walked back up the stairs to report to Tseng and Rufus before he tracked down Reno and Elena. He would need the superiors' approval first anyway.
"She never had a heart," Elena said bitterly. Sibling rivalry much?
He smiles softly "You want to have proof how good a Turk you are? You remember that mission 6 months ago, placing bombs in front of the camp of ninja at the bone village that had been givin' the boss all SORTS of trouble? The one where I got kidnapped while placing the last one? You saved my bacon back there. ..They'd drugged me to the fuckin' gills, an' if you hadn't happened to notice I was missing when you did, I woulda died."
"I KNOW I'm a good Turk," she said, then sighed. "But a good mother...?" Another sigh. "Maybe the President was right."
"That kid LOVES you, 'Lena. ..you're probably a better mother than anyone else I know. Hell, better than mine, an' she tried to protect me from the asshole she married."
Elena sighed again. "I know... I know... But--"
Rude's voice interrupted them. "Reno! Elena!"
"Yeah, partner?"
"Good news," he said, walking towards them with a slight smile on his face. "Elena's got a new mission."
"What new mission?"
Rude looked at Reno. "They'll do it." He paused. "Do you want to tell her, or should I?"
"What is going on?" Elena's tone indicated her irritation at being kept in the dark.
"Tifa's gonna take Em on for us until. .until things settle."
"She is?" Elena asked, unsure what to make of the new arrangements.
"You are to take her to the outskirts of Midgar," Rude said. "They'll keep an eye on her until you return."
"I'll escort her, if ya need me to. I gotta say goodbye to the squirt anyway."
"I think..." Elena sighed. Well, there was at least that, she supposed. "I'll take her. Alone. I'll be all right."
Reno nodded, though he looked a bit disappointed. It was obvious he loved the kid, too.
"You get to tell her you'll see her later," Rude said. "And Tseng's got a fact finding mission for us. We leave tomorrow."
"yeah. ..let's hope it doesn't blow up in m'face like last time."
"What's the worst that could happen?" Rude asked, instantly regretting his words. "Nevermind."
"Oh, bigots. ..guys with long needles an' nasty drugs. .."
"Giant death rocks from space..." Elena added before walking up the stairs to make the arrangements for her and Emily.
"Silver haired punks who accost you while at your favorite club."
"Dogs humping your leg in public!" Elena called back before finally getting out of earshot of the two men.
Rude just chuckled, shaking his head. Get those two together... and it will end with something humping something else's leg.
Reno dropped into thought for a moment as she left. "Yuffie said she saw that kid hangin' around Edge yesterday. ..ya know, the shanty town set up outside midgar? Yuffie said she saw the silver haired kid there."
"You spoke with Yuffie?" Rude asked. He didn't much care for the ninja girl. She was far too excitable, and far too... sticky-fingered.
"She keeps me updated on what's up when Spikey and Boobs won't talk to me. .anyway, 'just reason to be on guard."
Rude nodded. The silver haired guy who assaulted them was certainly reason to be on guard. But still... Yuffie? "You DID check your pockets when she left, right?"
"'course I did."
Rude nodded again. He then tilted his head towards the stairway leading back up to the President's room at the lodge. "We're going to have to go back up there sometime."
"yeah. . .just afraid I'll unload on Tseng right now."
"I'm sure the President did that already," Rude replied, picking up his newspaper. "But we can stay down here a little longer if you want." He opened it up to the comics section.
"might as well face the music, yo."
Rude gestured at the stairs in an 'after you' motion.
Reno mounted the stairs, yelling could be heard from the door. "sounds like he's still tearin' into him, yo."
"Then perhaps we should wait," Rude said, taking up shop leaning against one of the stairway's landings and opening his paper back up.
"Tseng, you didn't have to be so cruel. I understand the necessity of the child being taken care of elsewhere, but you were positivly icy. I love you like family, I understand the stresses you are under. ..the others are as well, however. you must remember you are not alone."
"Yes, sir," Tseng replied. What more could he say? Was he expected to watch the one true love of his life die and be stone? True, he was a reserved, dignified individual, but he could not be expected to be Atlas.
Rufus dropped the cloak for a moment pressing a kiss to his lover's lips gently. "I love you, Tseng, you know this. .but it cannot interfere with my duty to the rest of this ragtag family. . you know above all. ..as Turks you have become family. .I am new in the role of father figure, but I am coping as well as I can. I need all of you.".
Tseng thought to protest his supposed need of a father figure, being several years older than any of them. However, Rufus was right. "Have you ever wanted children, sir?" Tseng asked abruptly.
"I have. .. I will need to produce one someday as an heir. ..but I am nearly as awkward around them as Rude at times. Father didn't make it easy to know how one should act around them. .but with Em it was easy. She's a very sweet girl, very easy to love."
"Children... do not make things easy," Tseng said carefully. He paused, taking a breath. He had not been entirely honest about his fleeing of Wutai. True, the incident was in his record, accessable only to Rufus and himself, but there was a simple lie by omission that he had orchestrated. "You know I fled Wutai after the arranged marriage to a high ranking officer's daughter." He paused, unsure how to break the news. "However much I disliked the girl, however much I wanted to have nothing to do with her... as is Wutan tradition... the marriage WAS consummated, sir."
"So you do have one out there. . .somewhere. .." It put an entirely new spin on things. ..Tseng acted as he did. ..partly out of guilt. "We could find her and the child. ..if you wished to have contact with the child that is. It is of course your decision to make. I am simply letting you know. . .the option is there."
"According to the law of Wutai... I have no child." Tseng's words let a little of the full pain of his exodus from his homeland through. It wasn't just because of his protesting the feudal method of killing those higher than you to gain power, it wasn't his protest of arranged marriages and his belief in the concept of love found on one's own terms, part of his pain came from his leaving one of his own blood behind to bear the pain of his leaving.
"Things are changing there as well. ..Godo will not be in power forever, and his daughter despises the feudal law as much as it appears you do. I can guarantee you. ..forgiveness will come when she comes into power. And from the look of it she will take no consort, she wants to change the way things are instead of keeping the status quo."
"The boy suffers daily because of me," Tseng said ruefully. He hung his head in shame. "I am not fit to call myself his father."
"You left not because you wished to, but because you could not bring yourself to live a lie anymore. Something I understand as well as you do. That he paid for it is the fault of the system, and it is one that needs to change, just as Shinra needed to change."
"He is twelve now," Tseng said, voice almost wistful. He wondered absently if the boy looked like him, if there was anything in him that reminded others of Tseng.
"So tell me. ..is it really best for Reno to feel as you do now. .that he's not taken proper responsibility of his own blood due to things he cannot change? I know now is uncertain times. ..but he wishes to have legal responsibility for someone who is family to him as we are. I think. ..even if she cannot live with us in the meantime. ..he should have some legal say in what happens to her. He loves her."
"Reno is impetuous and rash. He has no idea what it takes to ensure a child's safety and wellbeing," Tseng argued. "He is far too much a child himself to be allowed care of another. It would be like the blind leading the blind, Rufus. I will NOT allow that to happen."
"He cannot become mature unless given the chance. You have always been too harsh with him Tseng, ever since the plate drop. .did you know. ..part of the reason for his breakdown in midgar during meteor was because of how hard you drive him?"
"Reno is the type that needs a firm hand," Tseng stated, as if he were actually the redhead's kin. "Without firmly set boundaries, he would be a danger to himself and everyone around him." Tseng took a breath. "As for his breakdown... the boy has always been a little... emotionally unstable."
"He also needs a tender hand and a willing shoulder sometimes. He also needs to be given responsibility He needs to feel useful, to feel needed. And he has changed, whether you see it or not. Sometimes you must look past your prejudice and see things for how they really are. He is a boy no longer, but a man. .. and a married man to boot."
Reno had heard that, his face paled a moment, then colored in fury. He'd forgiven and forgotten. ..but this took the cake. "fuck" he muttered.
"True, Reno is a married man, but his actions still are those of a reckless teenager," Tseng argued. He was not dropping the issue. Nope. Not in the least. "However, perhaps his union with Rude will give him enough maturity and foresight to change my opinion on the matter."
"Eavesdropping is unbecoming, Reno," Rude called from his position a few yards behind Reno. He smiled to himself, knowing that whatever Tseng and Rufus were discussing, it probably wasn't Reno's business... or he would find out soon enough.
"In this case. ..I heard more'n I wanted to yo."
"And he doesn't have the right to be a bit reckless considering his childhood? You and I both know well what he endured. ..if that has not earned him the right to occasional recklessness I do not know what has. ..besides. .. ,you can be just as reckless at times." Knew Tseng would know he referred to the reception. "And I know he'd not do damage to the child as his parents did to him."
"And had you forgotten, Mr Xiang" He had busted out Tseng's last name which was a bad sign." Have you forgotten who is in charge here?"
Tseng bit his tongue. Even though he was no longer part of Wutai's nobility, he HAD been raised to be such. "No, SIR. I have not." One could almost see the seething oozing from Tseng's pores.
"Leave 'em be, Reno," Rude warned, knowing that, if left to his own devices, the redhead would jump in and play all sides against the middle to prove his own point.
"I don't need ta jump in, the boss is doin' just as well for me, yo
"See that you do not...and as I said, as reckless as he is, he does not harm what is his own.It is something he takes pride in, and rightfully so."
"Reno..." Rude groaned. You couldn't discreetly hint anything at the redhead.
The discussion was over, but the issue still remained. Tseng would NOT let it go. He knew Reno could be trusted, counted on even, but the redhead still lacked the dicipline of Rude or the desire to please of Elena.
"If I say he gets to raise a family, he does, no matter your doubts...and I say he does. ..end of discussion, and end of issue for that matter, the decision is out of your hands"
And tact. Reno lacked tact, and decorum, and so many other things that Tseng had tried to instill in the redhead since day one of his acceptance into the Turks. "Yes, sir," Tseng said through gritted teeth. Up until Rufus' ascension to president, Tseng had been the surrogate father figure. However, with Rufus' decision to be such, Tseng was left feeling a little... lost, for lack of a better word. Or maybe 'put out' was better. Either or.
"I understand your doubts, believe me, I do. .but the man has been treated like a child ever since has been here. If you treat someone like a child he will act like one. Have some faith in him, Tseng. ..every child has to grow up sometime, each bird must eventually find its own wings. Give him the chance and the space to find his. ..you'll not regret it, I guarantee it."
"Or is it. .. simply that you wished the chance you did not have with your own son. ..and now that Reno has 'reached manhood' so to speak. ..letting go is hard?"
"Reno WAS a child when he arrived," Tseng said, knowing his arguement was irrelavent. He paused, letting Rufus' words sink in. He sighed, continuing, his voice quieter. "He is... I tried to instill values into him. I tried to guide him, forcefully at times, to become a better Turk..." 'a better man' was left unsaid.
"Your hand at times was too forceful. ..he was not just a child then.. .he was a TRAUMATIZED child...one who was in desperate need of love, You were too rough on him at times, and you lost out on a lot of the loyalty and love the boy had to offer. Do you remember. ..the argument the two of you had a month after he was recruited. .. he was going to tell you something then. He was going to thank you. ..for helping him, taking him off the streets. ..he was actually a little in love with you then. You scolded him. ..HARD. .over ONE missed signature on the paperwork he had turned in. ..he never said it, and the tie faded because you cut him off before he ever had a chance to speak.". .
Tseng refused to mention that ALL the new recruits seemed to be infatuated with him in some form or another. It was both too prideful and boasting... neither of which belonged in that discussion. He also refused to mention the old adage of 'spare the rod, spoil the child,' as he knew it would incite Rufus more, seeing how the late president kept that phrase literally at the forefront of his mind at all times concerning Rufus. "Which is why I partnered him with Rude..." Ah, Rude. If Reno was the black sheep of the Turks, Rude was by far the golden child. "I couldn't deal with his constant antics. I figured Rude would either get him out of my hair or set him straight."
"And yet you still continued to ride him harder than any of them, even Elena. He still loves you like a brother, believe it or not, even though you continue to doubt his abilities as both a Turk and a man. ..and now his abilities as a parent as well. Tell me. ..has he done anything that would harm that girl since she has been here? Has he done anything but be loving and attentive to her, or at least as attentive as he was allowed to be? If you can tell me no to either one, I will drop the matter. ..but I know you cannot."
Tseng sighed, muttering something about Rufus being just as much a child sometimes, but it wasn't loud enough for Rufus to make out. There was no malice behind his mutterings, only frustration at his being, as he saw it, replaced as the 'father' of the group. "You are barely older than him, but I would trust you infinitely more with a small child." It was his last ditch effort at winning the arguement and feeling at least slightly like the father hen.
"Besides, think of it, soon enough you will have 'grandchildren' to coddle. And they are even better than children, you get to give them back at the end of the day."
Tseng laughed quietly. "That you do... however, I am far too young to be a grandfather yet, don't you think?" So, in typical Rufus fashion, the arguement is nullified by redirection of energy. THAT was why he was such a great President.
"Oh, I believe you just the right age. ..though you've aged well, like a fine Kalmen vintage red."
"Flattery will get you everywhere, sir," Tseng said with a small smile. And with that, the war was averted. If only the late president had taken notes from his son, things may have turned out differently.
Rufus planted another soft kiss on Tseng's lips, his eyes beginning to squint a bit again, a telltalle sign of an encroaching attack. But instead of bending double like most would, he sat with his back straight, seeming almost angelic in grace and steely in control as the black ooze began flowing from the lesions. "I think you should get the bandages andd call Reno to run my bath, if you please. " His voice was a tad strained, but he did a good job of hiding just how much it hurt.
"Yes, sir," Tseng said, bowing before he turned towards the door. Once he reached it, he opened it and called for the redhead.
Rude looked up from his paper at Tseng's call. Seems their lover's spat was over.
Reno nods, running upstairs. "You called, sir?"
Tseng nodded to the slowly approaching Rude before speaking to Reno. "The President has had another attack and would like you to draw him a bath." He was going to add something about not making it too hot or too cold, but considering the discussion he'd just had with Rufus, he thought it petty. He would try -- TRY -- to treat Reno like the adult everyone else thought him to be.
"Yes sir" the bath he ran was more like what RUDE would like than him. ..cool and soothing. It was a well known fact that Reno liked his showers hot enough to scald skin, but he also had the common sense to realize it was not likely to fly here. He put some of the cinnamon and rasberry scented bath beads he knew Rufus had a love of into the water, the scent soothing yet invigorating at the same time. He also set up the candelabra, they were Wutain incense scented. "There you are, sir" he said as he came out.
"Thank you," Tseng said, carefully wheeling Rufus into the bathroom.
Rude waited for the door to close before offering up a "That was weird."
"I think...they came to some sorta agreement about OUR future there. ..and helping Tseng realize there comes a time a bird's gotta fly on its own." He looked. ..almost smugly satisfied for some reason.
Rude, being Rude, was a little weirded out by Tseng's mostly civil actions towards Reno. However, Reno's explaination fit... "So... where are we 'flying' to?" he asked.
"The future yo. ..maybe. ..someday a family of our own outsidea work. 'Lena's right, the world is changin'. ..and I think. ..given a chance you n' I could do right by some poor kid that like me when I arrived just needs ta be loved." He shrugs. "Then again, we still need ta talk about that."
"Yes. We do." Rude was in NO hurry to become a father... in any sense of the word.
Rufus settled into the bath, peering back at Tseng, cheeks pinkening because he wanted so badly to reaffirm his bond with the older man, but he simply did not have the strength to do so. "I hate being reduced to this. ..It's probably why I am trying so hard to affirm my hold on this company." He side as Tseng ran his fingers through the blond hair, lathering it, washing all of the detrius of the attack away.
"You will recover, sir," Tseng said, as if his words could do the curing of the illness for him. "There is no doubt in my mind." He leaned forward to place a kiss to Rufus' nose with a soft smile.
"Miracles still happen, right?"
"We survived the end of the world," Tseng mentioned, finishing washing up the blonde. "You managed to convince me of Reno's supposed adulthood, something which I have yet to witness." Okay, so the dig was petty and cheap... but needed for Tseng's wounded ego. "Anything is possible." He smiled, helping the man to sit back in his chair while Tseng started reapplying the bandages.
"He will convince you of it yet, though I know what part of it as well. ..you did not approve of my choice of him then."
Rufus chuckled softly. "You know what the funny thing about that was? He outgrew ME. .. needed more than I could at 17 give. The other funny thingis that you pushed him right into my arms. ..it was me he came to after that. ..It was a huge boost to my ego, I will admit that, but it was more than that. I needed to be loved as badly as he did."
"Something I was both not permitted and not prepared for," Tseng said. He was a strictly by the book Turk, and loving another man publicly, especially the President's son, was a big taboo. However, his eventual giving in to Rufus' advances, much to his surprise, was a real eye-opener.
"You discovered, sometimes it's better to break taboo and be true to yourself than it is to live out a lie."
"You are wise beyond your years, sir," Tseng said with a smile.
"I have had to be in order to survive this cut throat place."
Reno began walking back up toward his room, he looked in a word dejected. "M'tired. ..think I'll pack for our mission and get some shut eye." He gestured with his shoulder for Rude to follow, he was quiet, not his normal ebullant self at all, which told more than anything else how wearing this day had been.
Rude grunted once and nodded, following the redhead.
Reno's shoulders were tight, not quite as tight as the day Meteor came, but tense none the less, though it was not Rude which had his dander up this time, which meant his husband would be able to actually calm and comfort him and redirect the raw nerves with out having to coak
A yawn slipped from Rude's mouth as he sat on the bed next to Reno. "Want to talk?" he asked, placing his hand on the redhead's shoulders. He began rubbing the tense muscle there in hopes of helping Reno sleep without sudden muscle cramps.
"Just. ..miss Em, yo...an' hate people treatin' me like I'm not capable. .it STUNG hearin' what he thought of my ability to take carea someone else. more than I really wanna admit. Prob'bly because there's a graina truth there" He looks almost sheepish saying that..
"You can't change what people think about you," Rude said carefully. He scooted back behind Reno, using his large hands to work out some of the knots in the redhead's neck muscles. He hadn't heard any of the discussion between Tseng and Rufus... and he wasn't sure he wanted to. But if Reno wanted to bring it up... it was probably for the best.
"He. .he was just afraid ta let go, ya know. ..it's like. ..he wanted try ta be a father figure. ..an' he just wasn't ready to let me find my own wings yet."
Rude nodded, 'mmhmm'ing after he realized Reno couldn't see him nod behind his back. He gently eased the redhead onto his stomach, working his massage down to the rest of Reno's back.
"I gotta admit, I love him for it, in hindsight, as tough as he is. ..there was love behind it, and I can't fault him for wantin' me to be the best I can be. He just didn't understand. ..I can't change who I am inside to conform to how someone else thinks I can be. ..it'd be just as much livin' a lie as he was back home."
"Back home?" Rude had basic knowledge of Tseng's ties to Wutai, but he didn't know anything past the fact that it was where their leader was born and raised.
"His folks married him off to this wutain woman. ..you know Wutai is really strictly traditional. ..Even a HINT that any member of one of the higher ranking families ain't straight, it leads to a loss of the family's honor. ..so when he 'came out' so to speak and left the wife and kid back in Wutai. ..his family
"Leastways that's what I gathered from what I overheard."
Kid? Tseng had a kid? "He... is a father?" Rude asked, eyes wide as he paused in his ministrations. That... could explain a lot of things, actually.
"Kid's twelve. . .don't even know that Tseng's his father."
"Oh." What more could he say. It was a shocker, to say the least.
"I'm guessin' he saw a lotta that kid in me when I got here. ..but I was pretty wounded then, not ta say I can't still BE the walkin' wounded sometimes even now.. .but nothin' like back then."
It did in fact explain a lot. Tseng's pushing Reno beyond the limits of normal Turks. His astromonical expectations for the redhead. His almost rage at Reno when the redhead made a mistake.
"I can't say he didn't scare me back then, yo. ..he did. .he reminded me o' Dad, an' I couldn't handle the pressure then. ..it took time. .a lotta breakdowns. ..but between you an' the boss I managed ta grow into the potential he always saw. Just. ..until the boss made 'im see what he was doin', he couldn't SEE that."
"Tseng scared all of us at one time," Rude mentioned, going back to working out the tense muscles in Reno's back. "My first day, he flipped me on the training mat faster than I could think. I thought I was invincible, and he floored me without moving more than a foot."
"I'm not quite sure when I started ta understand that there was always love behind the way he acted. .." He blushes a bit "Ya know. ..I sorta had a crush on him back then. . .a little silly, eh?"
Rude neglected to mention the fact that, the first time he managed to pin Tseng, he kissed him. Hard, needing and full off all his triumph. This was a few years before Reno even came on the scene. Instead, he just blushed a little, glad Reno couldn't see him over his back.
"He crushed it before it even started yo. ..the day you saw me go running by your office. ..I was gonna tell him. .." He sighed. "'sfore the best I think, though. ..he woulda rejected me, all grossed out."
"Not for that reason," Rude muttered. He was well aware how much Tseng was their father figure before Rufus stepped up as President and kind of took over that role. "Not grossed out at all. More of a... I don't know. He would have seen it as taking advantage of you, somehow."
"I wouldna seen it that way, but I was all this sparkle-eyed, traumatized puppy back then. ..'shard ta believe it's only been 7 years since then. .."
Wow. That made Rude feel old. True, he was kinda pushing 30... but still... Damn. However, he deflected the feelings with humour. "You did cry like a little girl at lot then."
"NOT a girl, yo. ..more like. ..someone that life had kicked arounda lot. I do owe ya and the boss a lot for helpin' me get this far." and with that he turned around, grabbing Rude's face and pressing his lips to his husband's. "You taste good."