Disclaimer: I own jack.
Author's note: thanks for all the reviews sorry if I have been a bit slow acknowledging/replying to them, not getting any alerts at the mo can't work it out. If anyone knows why please let me know.
Ray had gotten an overnight flight, promising himself he would sleep on the plane.
He hadn't slept on the plane. He was shattered, dog-tired.
No matter how much he tried to not think about her, his head was full of Neela, of what he would say, how he would tell her.
He still had no idea and a thumping headache.
Why was it that when you lay in bed telling your mind to be quiet and let you sleep, it refused point blank to co-operate?
He got back out of bed, it was only four thirty and far too early to call Neela although every cell in his exhausted body wanted to just hear her voice.
How was he going to tell her all the things that were keeping him awake at night, the words he concocted in his weary mind were to inconsequential to explain the way he'd been feeling for so long now.
He didn't have the words to articulate what she meant to him, the void he felt without her. Everything he could think of sounded trite and contrived, too little too late.
I love you, Neela that was really all it amounted too, but whenever he thought of how it would sound leaving his lips he shuddered. She'd laugh, she'd think it was some sort of joke and laugh her ass off at him and he was pretty sure that would break him.
He should just slink off in the night, she'd never love him, sure there was always chemistry, but Neela was too smart for chemistry. She wanted so much more than he could offer, she deserved so much more than him. She deserved better.
He could tell her that, at least she might agree with that, he smiled absently to his self. No she wouldn't she'd smile sweetly; she'd tell him he was a good guy.
He started cleaning and somehow that soon turned into packing, he was a coward.
He'd tell her he was leaving, he would. She'd smile and say good luck and keep in touch.
He wouldn't, he couldn't bear that phoning to say hi, asking how things were going, listening as she told him about her fantastic life without him, the new man in her life.
Short and sweet I'm afraid, really would like one of those "stories that write themselves" but I am not that blessed.