Eric did a double take, managing to kill his character in the video game in the process. "What the fuck...?" was followed shortly by a "Jesus fucking Christ on a fucking cracker!" He jumped off the couch, moving backwards as he did and managing to trip over the back of the couch. When his head his the hardwood floor of the living room, he saw stars... and penises.
Reno buttoned himself back up. "Get the point? so why don't yyou go find someone else to hit on, dickwad?"
"Who are you calling dickwad, cockmonger?" Eric retorted, standing up and stepping up to Reno. He stood with his chest puffed out, something he didn't need to do as all of Rude's brothers had very similar to his height and build.
"The guy who called me a woman! I'm a married man, and your brother in law, and it's time to not judge a book by its cover.
Eric did what all slighted little siblings would do in his situation... were they five. "MOM!" He yelled loudly.
Gladys strode in, shaking her head. "Let me guess. ..you discovered our guest is not only off the menu, but the wrong gender. .sorry,
mi
"But Mo-om," Eric whined. He was a professional whiner.
Rude took that moment to wander in, a wooden spoon with some of his mother's cooking on it in hand. Him? Stealing from the pot? Never. "Problems?" he asked, his voice gruff.
"Just proved I wasn't a chick is all, and now your younger sib is whining."
Gladys gasps "You didn't. . ."
"Reno..." Dammit. The redhead flashed him. Rude knew it. "I can't take you anywhere..." he muttered.
Eric 'hrmph'ed, then went back to his video game. He'd find one way or another to get back at Rude's boyfriend. "Why are you back?" he asked petulantly. "Just here to show off him?" he paused. "Always knew you were a queer."
Rude moved quickly, dropping the wooden spoon and picking his younger brother up by his shirt. "What did you say?" he growled.
Gladys groaned "Boys. ..Eric, you'd best take that back."
Reno in the meanwhile had his magrod out and looked fit to damn well KILL. "What'd you call him? If you don't take that back you're going to find out how strong I am."
Rude paused, seeing the look on his mother's face while she eyed her antique... junk. Rude had no other word for what his mother collected than junk. "Yes, Momma," he said quietly, dropping Eric onto the floor.
"OW!" Eric yelped. If Rude gave him a bruised tail bone...
"You're not worth it," he mumbled, reaching out and placing an arm around Reno. He started to lead the redhead back to the kitchen. Better to separate those two than let them go at it in his mother's favourite junk storing spot.
Reno was shaking with fury as Rude led him away. "Bastard better hope I never catch him alone, I will go Turk on his ass. ..who the FUCK does he think he is calling you queer?"
"My little brother," Rude mumbled. He knew that, if it came down to it, he would have to stand up for Eric if Reno came at him. He loved the redhead, really he did, but Eric was his brother... a little slimeball of a brother, but still... Rude sighed. It was going to be a long stay in Costa del Sol.
"Don't give him call for that. .and if he comes at me, I will beat his ass."
"Don't worry about it," Rude said, filching a freshly baked muffin from the countertop. He mother was the BEST cook. ""He's all bark." And it was true, too. In the course of Rude's 23 years with his younger brother, he was five when Eric was born, his sibling had never once stepped up and fought his own battles.
"He hits on me again, same thing. ..I'm yours,"
Rude grunted, taking the first bite of that muffin. Wow, he must've been gone longer than he thought. Usually his knuckles would've been intimately acquainted with his mother's favourite wooden spoon by now for 'spoiling his dinner.' Either that, or she finally let him grow up... Rude wasn't sure. Either way, he lifted the top off one of the pots on the stove, the one he hadn't already investigated. Mmm... smelled like stew...
Door opened to admit a dark haired boy also built much like his brother and a shorter, suqatter, barrel chested man. "Mom, we're home."
Rude grunted and nodded a greeting to his elder brother and father. His father, in typical fashion, grunted and nodded in return, setting down a handful of bags full of groceries. Nope, Rude didn't get a lot of his mannerisms from his father. Not at all.
"I thought you weren't coming home until tomorrow, sweetheart."
"they let me home early. ..hey, Rudy, wow. ..you got yourself a looker this time."
"He's not a looker, Samuel," Bernard replied, taking a single look at Reno and knowing he was, in fact, a he. "And take off those damn sunglasses, Rudolph. You're not outside."
Rude did as he was told, all those years of his father's tone of voice indicating that there would be no questioning who ran the roost. "Sam, Dad," he said, "This is Reno."
Reno nodded, flashing the ring he wore on his left hand as he waved a greeting.
"Get yourself married, did ya?" Bernard asked, not looking at either of the two Turks while he helped Gladys put the groceries away. There was a slight, very slight, hint of displeasure in his voice.
"Yes," Rude said, hoping his father and elder brother wouldn't make the same mistake Eric had. "I did."
Reno kept quiet, but he had the urge to say "You got a problem with me 'cause I'm a guy or 'cause I'm a slum rat, or both" but he didn't, even though he knew it would show on his expression.
"I think it's a good thing, Dad. It's obvious they really care about each other, and isn't that what matters?"
"I guess," Bernard muttered, pulling out a hammer and a few screwdrivers. "I'll be in the garage if anyone needs me." And, with that, he left to go mull things over by himself.
Sam spotted the look on Reno's face and shook his head. "Dád can be a bit of a blowhard, but he really doesn't mean anything by it. He's not used to living in this new fangled world where gender doesn't much matter when it comes to love yet."
"He's just upset because YOU won't get married and give him grandchildren," Rude said with a smile. For as far apart as Rude and Eric were, the bald man was just as close to his elder brother. Maybe it was because there was only two years between them, as opposed to the five with Eric.
"Eh, I've just found no one worthwhile yet, 'sall. .most women wouldn't put up with a SOLDIER anymore than they will a Turk...Yeah, I finally got in after all the time of trying. .. I had to run a diplomat to Junon today." He snorts, he's built big like his younger brother, even more so, his hair cut military short, those dark eyes gleaming bright with mako injections that all candidates got. Though he'd been stationed at the base in Junon, not in midgar, so he could be a two hour boat ride away and help take care of mom and dad and keep Eric in line because the boy was always getting in trouble.
"Congrats," Rude said with that smile. He put out his hand for his brother to shake.
M
Sam shook, chuckling "It's not the same under your boss. .is it true you know the president personally?"
Rude nodded, pulling his elder sibling in for an uncharacteristic hug. Maybe all those years with Reno were starting to rub off on him? Nah. "Yeah, I know Rufus ShinRa." He wasn't sure how proper it would be to announce the upcoming nuptuals of said president to the leader of the Turks.
"Wow.. .that's cool! I hear he's shed the reputation he first had when he took over. ..no more 'man you never see bleed or cry' and that he's a decent guy now. I saw that stunt he pulled taking the flying leap off the office building, I would have pissed my pants doing that."
Rude laughed heartily. "The President was always a 'decent guy'. It was his father who was the problem."
Eric chose that moment to enter the kitchen, opening the fridge with a mumble about how no one heard him yelling for a goddamn beer.
Reno bristled as Eric's elbow brushed against his lower belly. ..he looked like he was about to explode, as he wasn't sure if the kid had done it on purpose or not.
The youngest brother got a beer from the fridge, opened it, and took a drink. Without offering anything to anyone else, he glared mildly at Sam and Rude, and glared not so mildly at Reno. Oh no, he did nothing without a purpose... especially when that purpose was to instigate. With his point made, in his mind, he turned and went back into the living room.
"Next time he touches me, he's dead, yo, your kid brother or not."
"Eric?" Gladys came in to remove the last of the food-laden serving bowls to take them into the dining room. "You do realize when you insitigate a fight with a Turk you play with fire, right?"
"That," Eric gestured up and down Reno with his beer. "is not a Turk."
Rude's hand went to Reno's shoulder, tightening as if to say, 'not here. Momma will kill you.'
Reno growled. ..storming outside, shooting Eric a look that said he'd show him how much of a Turk he was if he followed.
Eric, as was typical of him, when push came to shove, he ran away. He spat at the ground where Reno had stood, then went back to his game.
"Reno," Rude said, eyes apologizing to his family for the disruption in normality of him bringing Reno there. "I'll get him, Momma. When's dinner?"
"Ten minutes. ..really, your brother needs to know when to stop pushing. ..one day he's going to insult the wrong person and end up dead. Not that it's any use telling him, of course."
"I know, Momma, I know," Rude said with a sigh. He felt slightly responsible for the way Eric had turned out. At the time when the youngest boy was most impressionable, Rude was too busy running the streets and getting into trouble to be a real big brother. He stepped out the front door, closing it gently behind him and watching Reno pace the porch for a moment before speaking. "Hey."
"The kid's an ass...how did he end up related to you?
Rude shrugged. "Every family's got one."
'"I swear if he gropes me again I'm not going to CARE if I'm in a room fulla your momma's antiques or not."
"Just ignore him," Rude offered, lighting up a cigarette. He knew he had just enough time to finish it before dinner would be ready.
"How do I ignore some kid reaching for the manbits, yo? especially considering. ..ah shit."
mRude sighed, exhaling smoke. "Eric's not into guys," Rude explained. "But everytime I brought someone home... he tried to take her. It's just... what he does." He left out the part about how Eric actually managed to steal one of his girlfriends away from him.
"He doesn't know what he's unleashin' messin' with me. ..you know I've never been one ta ignore bein' groped. ..you're the only one I let touch me."
"I know," Rude said, flicking his cigarette into the driveway and pulling Reno close. "Just... don't let him rile you up. That's all he's doing. Once he sees you won't take the bait, he'll quit."
"Or he'll get his ass beat black n' blue first. .. it's not like I can help gettin' riled up with people touchin' me uninvited."
"That'll only egg him on," Rude muttered, knowing that no matter what he said, Reno would do what Reno wanted to do.
Reno strode back in, still tight as a high tensile wire, obviously pissed.
"Rudolph," Gladys said as the boys came back in the house. "Tell your father dinner's ready. I'll take care of your... oh dear, should I call you his husband or his wife?"
"Yes, Momma," Rude said, walking through the kitchen and out the back door towards the garage.
Reno just shook his head, sitting down across from Eric, his expression clearly saying "back off or I hold no responsibility for your funeral costs."
Eric just smirked, taking a bite of a corn muffin almost suggestively. Almost.
Reno's eyes narrowed...oh yes, this kid was going to die. ..he wondered just how much the kid knew about his past. ..especially if they'd lived in midgar.
Eric had tried to follow in the middle child's footsteps, even trying to set up shop when Rude had gotten out of the running business. He wasn't very good at it, though, which lead him to nearly be killed several times had he not mentioned just who his brother was.
Suddenly Reno's eyes narrow even more. "You. ...you're that kid that shot at me for 'invading your territory' once when I picked up a trick there."
Eric raised the hand that didn't hold the muffin, showing a tiny Derringer. "Thought I saw you before."
"BOYS!" Gladys yelled, standing up and slapping her hands on the table. "There will be no firearms at the table, ya hear? None! I will have a peaceful dinner even if I have to kill BOTH of you."
"Eric," Bernard's voice was low as he walked into the dining room, flanked by Rude. "You will treat your brother's guest with respect. You're not too big to turn over my knee."
Reno was shuddering with rage. ..he knew he'd seen the kid before. ..and now he knew why. . .but much to his credit he didn't lunge across the table at him and kill him, though he was damn well tempted. ..but if the "w" word came out of the kid's mouth all bets were off.
Rude sat down next to Reno, one of his big hands resting on the redhead's thigh. He glared at his younger brother, mouthing a 'knock it the FUCK off' when he caught his attention.
Reno knew Rude would feel the trembling under his hand as he fought to hold down the rage that was doing its damndest to send him over the wall. ..the LAST thing Rude would want or need was his limit break going off over the dinner table, as much as he'd like to kill the punk.
Rude squeezed Reno's thigh harder, implying that it was neither the time nor the place to put Eric in his place.
'Did you know your wife's a whore?' Eric mouthed to Rude. 'I saw him with this guy, not that long ago.'
Rude's hand squeezed even harder, certain that there would be bruises forming there later if not sooner.
Reno rose to his feet now, not a damn thing could stop it. "I haven't been with anyone else but Rude in five years. .and what I did back then I did to survive, YOU end up under Corneo's tender mercies or the ones of one like him, considering he's fertilizing some flowers somewhere after having come out of the ass end of a behemoth about now, and you'll understand the reasons. ..until then, shut your fucking piehol
Rude gave up. He did. He stood up, dishing out a bowl of what turned out to be chili, not stew, for his mother, one for his father, one for Sam, and one for himself. If those two wanted to duke it out, Rude wasn't watching on an empty stomach.
Eric's response was both childish and uncalled for. He opened his mouth wide, a blatant non-shutting of his, as Reno put it, fucking piehole.
Reno's was just as childish. ..taking his emr, turning it on the stun setting, sticking it into Eric's mouth, and turning on the charge.
"Reno!" Rude yelled, knowing for sure his mother wasn't going to take kindly to not being listened to, new son in law or not.
The siezing of Eric's muscles caused him to pull the trigger on the Derringer, letting the single shot from the small pistol embed inself into the hardwood floor.
Reno then sat down. ..some of the shaking easing as he realzes how close that bullet had come to hitting HIM. .. then realizes it had grazed his leg and curses.. "ah. ..fuck. ..least it's only a flesh wound this time."
"ERIC!" Gladys yelled, pulling the boy up by his ears. "To your room. NOW." She then turned on Reno. "And I said no weapons at the table, mister." She stalked over to Reno, pulled him from his seat, and put him over her knee. With one quick swat, she sat him back down, glaring at both Turks. "Rude, take your wife--husband--WHATEVER and get him cleaned up." She paused, muttering, "I will have civility in this house even if I have to kill someone..."
He looked almost apologetic.. ."I-I'm sorry. .. he said that an' I just lost it. ..better than goin' limit at the table and probably destroyn' their home. .."
Rude shushed him, checking his injuries in the cramped powder room off the kitchen. "I told you to ignore him," Rude muttered. It didn't look bad... just a scrap and a little burn.
"'shard to ignore him.. maybe he'll leave me alone for a while now that he knows I'll fight back."
"Probably not," Rude mumbled, almost too quiet to hear. He stood, opening the medicine cabinet and pulling out some ointment. His parents didn't keep potions handy. They were a little old fashioned like that.
Reno sighed, leaning against him, he had just recently recovered from the physical injuries after the psychotic remnants. ..last thing he needed was to now get injured by his psychotic brother in law two days before his boss's wedding.
"Want me to see if Sam's got some spare potions?" Rude asked, gently rubbing in the ointment and wrapping the injury with very thin gauze.
"Nah, I deserved it...'slong as it don't bleed on the suits the boss has ordered for us, 'sall good."
See? Rude knew it was a bad idea for Reno to meet his family. However, his eyes widened as he remembered what his mother ALWAYS insisted when he showed up... and he was NOT sleeping under the same roof with his brother and Reno at odds. That... and it was kind of weird thinking about having sex while in your parents house.