This story probably has too many twists and turns already, and no matter how I try to bring it to a happier note, I can't. We gotta be realistic.

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Ch. 19

"Daddy, are you sure you wanna continue?"

"It's fine, sweetie. We still have a lot to get ready for."

"But we dunno where Mommy is and everyone's looking for her. Do we have to go and look for her too?"

Burke stroked his daughter's head and said reassuringly, "I'm sure she's fine." He hoped so. His mother wasn't picking up the phone either. Worried wasn't the feeling he currently experienced, because Cristina already told him she wanted to hang out with his mother. He also called the airline to check. No, there was no reason to be worried. He laughed at his own over-reaction. Besides, if that patient of hers needed something badly and he could be of any help, the anxious intern would have called again already.

Yet, he wasn't at ease either. It was funny how he was left in the kitchen, preparing Thanksgiving Dinner with someone else again. First year in their relationship, Burke cooked with Izzie the neurotic baker. This time he was with his own daughter. Without Cristina. Both times.

It was already 2. Had it not been the fact that his mother was with her, Burke would be 99 sure that Cristina was hiding at the hospital now, just like what she did the first time. To him, she was running away. Again.

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And Burke's instinct was actually right. Cristina was at Seattle Grace, only time, she had another woman in love and in pain beside her.

Jenny the intern kept firing questions at Cristina about what they should do to save the patient. Cristina could see a shadow of her old self in the intern. The same stubbornness, the total reliance on science and medicine. She would make a great surgeon some day, but apart from learning to soften her attitude, Jenny also had the misfortune of having a screeching voice.

"But you aren't doing anything!"

"Jenny, we do what we can. We always try our best, but there's a limit."

"Well, we could try chemoembolization. It might give him more time."

"We have to respect the will of the patient." Cristina bit her lip as she said that. Convincing her intern was one thing, convincing herself was another. She regretted that she and Rose did not get back to the hospital in time when Samuel regained consciousness briefly and signed the do not operate and do not resuscitate documents, before lapsing into another coma.

It was heartbreaking watching her mother-in-law holding Samuel's hand, looking at the man fondly, not knowing anything Jenny was telling Cristina outside the room. How would Rose react when she knew her man was giving up? When our beloved one was hurt or ill, we always felt scared. That was how Cristina felt years ago when Burke was shot. But at least neither of them was giving up.

"Jenny, in palliative medicine, it's the quality of life that matters the most--to ease the physical and psychological pain of the patient and to prepare the family for bereavement. One day, you'll understand."

Cristina put on her best mentor mask and stayed oddly calm. She could not deal with what was happening inside that room, inside her patient's body, inside her own heart, but she could help the intern out here to grow as a better physician.

"Right. Dr. Yang, if there's nothing else, I'll go check on other patients."

"Bye, Jenny." Cristina responded mechanically. "Thanks for watching over him just now. He…he means a lot to me."

"Anytime, Dr. Yang."

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