"Mo-om!" Eric protested, trying to shake off the woman's grip. "Just because you think what they're doing is all right and beautiful and shit DOESN'T mean it is! Do you have any idea what Rude was DOING on the beach?" He held up a pair of Polaroids... but he was smart enough to leave most of them hidden in his room.
Rude had stood there, placing his hands on the door frame and just trying to calm himself down. He paused in his thoughts, wondering what was taking Sam so long.
"So they shared the man. ..but Dammit, Eric, Rude obviously loves him, and whatever problems you have with him, I suggest you solve thme. You've deserved a beating from that boy ever since he came. ..and if I may let you in on a little secret..the other party in that marriage is the Shinra company director. .now, go to his face and tell HIM it's wrong. I'd love to see how many holes in you you come back with." Gladys of course had seen the two from the grocer's as they'd first come into town, and it didn't take a rocket scientist to figure the looks between the head of the Turks and his employer out.
"Didn't you see this?" Eric continued his protest, holding up the second picture in front of his mother's face. It was the image of Rude very needily making out with Sam. "Do you know who those are, Momma? Those are your two SONS. K-I-S-S-I-N-G. You know what they call that? Incest, Momma!"
Rude was completely ignoring the arguement between his mother and his younger brother. He was still too worried about Sam. "Reno," he said softly, voice still holding a hint of that buried rage beneath it. "I need you to check on him." He moved away from the door to let the redhead past.
Reno nodded, but he still clutched the one photo he had. . .he knew what he had to lose.
"So they KISSED Eric, they didn't go any further or you'd be showing photos of THAT. I'm sure hes learned his lesson, but YOU NEVER DO!"
Meanwhile Reno knocked on the door. "Sam. ..come on, talk to me. .please. ." his voice held a hint of desperation.
Eric knew he'd reached a lost cause with his mother. She was far too open minded anyway. His father however... He spun on his heel, walking away from her and towards the garage. And if that didn't work, he had one last avenue...
Rude's back his the hallway wall across from the door. He slid down until he was sitting on the hardwood floor, hands to his face as he just sat there and breathed.
In the shower, Sam's skin was tomato red. He barely heard the voice that came in over the waterfall of the shower. "Who's there?" he asked, his voice shaking just a tad.
Gladys grabbed him, whirling him around." No you don't. .I want them, Eric. .every last photo. ..now." her voice brooked no dissension, "Or I swear to Shiva, you are OUT of my home.. .now."
"'sme, Sam. .Reno. .c'n I come in, please? I know what you're feelin' yo.. believe me I do."
It wouldn't have been the first time his mother had kicked him out... and he was fairly certain he'd be taken back in once 'hard times' hit again. It was the way it always was. Besides, he could stand living with one of his buddies for a few days. He tossed the pictures over his shoulder with an, "I'm outta here."
"I'm..." Sam started, standing up quickly and knocking a couple shampoo bottles off the side of the tub as he did so. "I'm almost done. Sorry I was taking so long."
"Don't come back, Eric. .until you've decided to grow up."
"Sam. ..I know what you were doin', I used ta do it too. ..you wanna feel clean..but no amount o'washin' will do it."
Eric waved a hand over his shoulder. She'd calm down eventually. And once Rude was gone back to wherever he was living, he'd be back in her good graces in no time. Especially since the middle child almost never called or dropped in anymore.
"No!" The Sammy doth protest too much. "I'm fine. Really." A nervous chuckle came from the shower.
Reno finally just picked the lock on the bathroom door...walking in. ..he still trembled a bit from the feelings he was picking up from Rude. He hoped he'd be able to fix this, but somehow he doubted it..he'd call Elena once this crisis with Sam was over. ..for now, he gave Same a towel and basically HAULED him out. "Jeeze, Sam. ..you're beet red!"
Sam shook like a newborn fawn trying to walk. "Really," he said, voice shaking as much as he did as he tried to dry himself off but keep himself covered at the same time. It wasn't working so well. "I'm okay, Reno. You don't have to worry about me."
"I do, yo, I've been through this. ..shit!"
All the air in Sam's lungs left him as he plopped onto the floor, sitting in the middle of the shaggy blue bath mat. His knees were up to his chin and his arms were wrapped around his legs, effectively making a ball out of himself. "You don't understand..." he said very quietly.
"I do, yo...my dad.. well.. " he blushed lightly.. not sure how to broach this.
"No," Sam protested, still not looking at Reno. "You don't. It's..." he paused, taking a deep breath them letting it back out. "Rudy's never brought home a... a man. I mean, there was that one kid when we lived in Midgar, but we all thought they were just really close friends, ya know? God, they were all beautiful... the girls he brought home. All curves in the right places, soft and just..." A hand went through his hair. "There was more than a couple times I wanted to take them from him... we weren't always that close, ya know... But they were his, and it wasn't that I couldn't find pretty girls of my own..."
"Rude..well I love him, you know. .I know I drive him crazy sometimes. .." he stopped a second, gathering his thoughts. "He never really was into guys before. ..an' really. .I'm still not sure how WE happened. ..but he was willin' with you...Sam...he LOVES you as a big brother..it's real obvious, yo..he's..well, he's posessive, ya know.. .he doesn't share often, so when he does.. .consider it a gift."
Both of Sam's hands went to his head as if he could use them to stop the thoughts running through his mind. His towel fell, leaving him sitting there in all his glory. "When Dad and I walked in and I saw you it was... I was shocked. I mean, I never expected Rudy to come home with a guy! Let alone a guy that looked so... so..." He couldn't say it. He couldn't. "And married!" That hysterical edge was back to his voice. "My twerpy little brother Rudy not only bagged himself the hottest guy I'd ever seen, but he bagged him permanently! And... and... I don't DO guys, Reno. I like my partners to have different equipment from me. But..."
"I don' understand it either, Sam..I don't get what people see in me.. I was. ." and his voice lowered. "I was a whore, Sam...an' the guy who owned me is gone, but that doesn't mean I feel clean, yo. ..or that I understand it...I had Rufus fuckin' Shinra yo. .. he wanted me, made me feel good, yeah. ..but. ..unworthy." Tears formed at the corners of his eyes. "I'm not worthy o'all tthis.. an' I just know I'm gonna fuck it up. ..if I haven't already...an' I'm sorry if I messed you up. I..after what my life was like, bein' messed up an' scarred is a burden I wouldn't wanna lay on ANYBODY."
"And that's the not the worst of it!" Sam cried, standing and somewhat stalking towards Reno as if he were the last person on earth. "Do you have any idea how good my brother looks over you?" he asked, a tiny hint of venom in his tone, his blantant nudity not even present in his mind. "He's really grown up a lot from the tall, skinny kid I grew up with. He's bulked out... man, you Turks get the best training..." Sam grasped onto Reno's shoulders as if the redhead could save him from drowning. "Just seeing him, fucking you... god, it was so fucking hot I could have BURST." His voice took on that desperate edge to it. "And it wasn't just watching you that was hot..."
Sudden understanding dawned. "The kiss.. ah, shit, Sam.. . I'm not freaked out, yo, not bit..just.. .you're as scared of fuckin' shit up with your folks as I am. ..you're so lucky sam. ..you have no idea HOW fucking lucky you are...just bein' here.. even with that twerp little brother o' yours...it's like a fuckin' dream...I .. .I never had a family really, Sam...Dad was a drunk, n' used ta hit Marcia an' Mom an' I all the time. .. do you know how fucking GOOD it felt for your dad to call me son? to be fucking accepted?" The first of the tears fell, he wasn't like this normally, no, not one bit, but this family had caled to something deep within he had thought long dead.
"And you think you're a freak for likin' it.. .you ain't, yo. .it's natural normal human nature to wanna be next ta somethin' beautiful...Gods know. ..I wanna be next to your brother forever."
"My parents?" Sam was nearing hysterical again. "I don't CARE about my fucking parents." He was on a roll again. "I'm a SOLDIER, Reno, a fucking SOLDIER. I have a REPUTATION to keep. SOLDIERs don't go home and want to fuck their brothers!" If he was thinking clearly, Sam would have realized that his fingers were going to leave bruises on Reno's skin. "And," Sam's pitch was getting higher. "It wasn't just that I wanted--still want to--fuck you, Reno... I wanted... WANT to BE you!"
Reno was shaken in Sam's grasp like a rag doll, but it didn't seem to bother him. "That's just it, Sam.. .I wanted ta be you...I want this.. I want what you have..just like you want what I have, 'cept I can't lose Rude.. .I csan't n'..." He was babbling.. but he didn't know what else to say...so he just hugged Sam and held on for all he was worth.
Sam's knees went out from under him. He collapsed under his own weight... and the weight of his albatross. Tears poured from his eyes, the first in... he couldn't remember how many years. He finally managed to whisper, "I think I see now what you see in Rudy..."
"He's a good man.. he's had my back n' saved my life more timesn' I can count. .an' he loves me despite the stupid shit I do.. .but right now...I'm s'scared I'm gonna fuck shit up n' drive him away.. .I really fucked up this time."
Sam didn't say anything. He couldn't. If he did... he was bound to mess things up even more. Because if he mentioned even slightly what the proximity of Reno's warm body and the thoughts of how much his Rudy had grown were threatening to do to him... He was liable to embarass himself and possibly make the situation even worse.
"'cause Sam... you're pretty damn hot too.. .and the way you felt...it meant more'n just.. oh shit.. I'm fuckin it up too.. I'm so damn confused!" he let out the smallest mewl before starting to pull himself away from Sam before he said something to make a mess of things.
The eldest Urar boy didn't let the redhead get far. He pulled him close, just holding Reno against his chest. He shushed him, a noise that sounded surprisingly like the one Rude usually used to calm Reno down. "Please..." Sam asked, not entirely sure just what he was asking for.
Reno wanted to lean against him, he did, but he felt such a traitor.. . he didn't want to hurt Rude, and he knew..if he let himself feel what ihs heart wanted so desperatly to, he would. .."Sam.. no.. .I..I can't do this.. I love him..and it'd hurt him and fuck shit up even more.." and he tore himself away. walking right past Rude and out the door, his eyes leaking the whole way.
The cry that tore from Sam's throat sounded like that of a wounded, cornered animal. He pounded his fists on the floor, evidence that Rude's temper was a genetic Urar trait shared by all the boys.
Rude moved quickly into the bathroom, checking Sam for any injuries.
"Rudy... please..." the elder man whimpered.
Rude knew that the Mako SOLDIERs were injected with messed with the brain's chemistry, and he knew that Sam was the absolute most stable of anyone in his family... other than his mother. But Sam was having a breakdown. He... he needed to stay and help him. "Stay right here, Sammy," Rude said, tone worried. "I'll be right back." He had to go after Reno.
Reno had found the stairway down to the beach...he'd wandered out into the water without even realizing it...he'd just started walking...walking...without even knowing where he was going until he suddenly realized where he was and that there was no more ground under his feet. After his experience with that nasty riptide that morning he was partially afraid to try to come back in, so he froze...was Renomessed up by the whole situation? Oh, no. ...
Rude couldn't see Reno anywhere around the house. He pulled his phone from his pocket, hoping against hope that the redhead had his phone on him.
his phone rang from inside the pocket of the shirt he'd been intelligent enough to don, and he picked it up, a shaky greeting coming from him.
"Where are you?" was all Rude could spit out.
"I'm ..Gods, not even sure I just started walking. ..but I'm out in the middle o' the water an' I'm sorta stuck out here..."
"Keep your phone on." With that Rude hung up and opened the tracking program on his phone. There. Reno wasn't really that far away at all. He was... where they'd been surfing earlier.
Reno stood out in the middle of the water with his arms around himself, tears drying on his cheeks. . .he was so lost and confused and how the HELL did he relay to his still obviously angry husband why he felt like he did without making an even huger mess of things?
Rude made it there rather quickly. Yes, he did have to make sure Reno was okay, but then he had to get back to Sam. He wasn't sure anyone else in the house was... he couldn't think of a better word than 'able' to help Sam. "Reno!" he called when he saw the shock of red hair in the water.
Reno launched himself at Rude...he was frightened, confused, and felt like he was about to lose everything that meant anything to him.. all he oculd do was whisper "I'm so sorry" over and over again.
Rude was shaking. Not uncontrollably, but just enough for anyone who knew him to know he was on his last leg. "It's okay," he whispered into Reno's hair, petting the red tresses. "It's okay..." He did that for as long as he could before stepped back, breaking Reno's hold on him. "I..." he couldn't look the redhead in the eye. "I need you to apologize to the President for me." He had made his decision... as hard as it was. Reno or Sam? Sam or Reno? He could only help one at a time... and Sam, who'd never had a breakdown in his life, needed him more... he thought. "I'm sorry... I love you." With that, he let Reno go and walked quickly back towards the house.
with that Reno nodded, taking out his phone, callin Rufus and speaking in hushed tones, explaining the situation without giving any more information than he had to. "Yeah...we got a family situation here..we'll be there as soon as we can, boss."
with a surprising amount of control he walked back inside.. slapping his hand across his eyes to wipe away thenew ones forming.. .waiting for Rufus' response while he walked up the beach and back toward the house.
"Family situation?" Rufus asked. He knew that, whatever it was, it was very important, but he also knew that if Reno was the one calling... "Where is Rude?" He hit the nail right on the head.
"He's tryin' ta calm things down." He knew his own voice was still fairly shaky... "It's just gone off the deep end sir.. .we're both really sorry, it..it just sorta happened."
"Calm things down?" Rufus' face scrunched up a little in confusion. "What happened, Reno? Exactly."
Reno explained the whole situation on thhe beach..his own heart breaking all over again, while he tried his damndest to control his vocal chords so Rufus wouldn't hear he was close to tears again..."An' now sam's freaked, Rude's pissed off at me. ..an'.. I just don't know how ta fix it without fucking it up even more."
Rufus highly doubted that Rude was pissed off at Reno, but the redhead wouldn't have believed him even if he said it. So he didn't. "I want you to call me as soon as anything changes." It was an order.
"Yes, sir."
And as he walked back in he couldn't meet Sam's eyes or Rude's without feeling like utter shit, so he just sat down on the sofa in the living room looking as if he wanted to simply sink into it. .shit, he just needed desperatly needed someon on the outside of the situation who had a clear head right now...someone he could tell everything that he felt to without them getting freaked or angry.
Rude had managed to get Sam coherent enough to sit at the kitchen table, dressed, for the most part, in a pair of worn jean shorts and a tanktop. He stood behind him, facing in the direction of the living room, his arms draped over his brother's shoulders in an almost sad manner.
Reno just looked up, then down again, he KNEW he was partly to blame for this, and he really did feel like utter shit. ...he had no idea what to say to make things better, he felt like just crying and freaking himself, but he didn't have him in it to do so now...
Rude felt Sam twitch a little under his arms when Reno looked at them. Rude had just picked his brother up off the bathroom floor where he'd left him, quieting his pleas for something Rude was sure Sammy didn't even know. He managed to get him dressed and send Momma out for a bottle of good Costan Tequila, telling her that it was 'business' that had Sam acting the way he was.
Reno then curled his arms around his knees, rolling himself into as small a ball as he possibly could.. .the fights with the remnants..hell even the argument in Midgar felt like pinpricks compared to how his heart hurt right now.
"I need to talk to him," Rude whispered in Sam's ear. "Stay here." His last two words were spoken as a command, Rude's voice dropping maybe a little harsher than it needed to. He saw his brother stiffen, that impeccible SOLDIER training causing his body to react to the command before his brain had time to process it. It was that same training Rude was counting on to help his brother make it through this. He walked slowly towards Reno, standing over him for a moment before speaking. "Hi."
Reno looked up "Hey.." What else could he say? 'hey, yeah,. I feel something for your brother an' I like it?' Hell no, he knew if he did he'd hurt someone he never wanted to, not ever...his throat closed up after the greeting, choked behind a huge lump of emotion.
A tiny, almost imperceivable smile touched the corner of Rude's mouth. He glanced back once at Sam, still sitting there, still following orders like a good little SOLDIER. Making sure to catch Reno's eyes, he tilted his head in the direction of the next room... Momma's sitting room.
Reno nodded, getting up, he still wasn't sure what to say or think. .he just walked over to it. obeying the nod as he would any other order, verbal or otherwise.
Rude followed, closing the door behind him. He leaned against it, posture betraying nothing of his thoughts. "Sam told me somethings..." he started.
Reno curled up even more.. here it was.. the other shoe just about to drop and hit him right in the back of the head. "What.. things?" his tone was guarded.
"I want your side of the story," Rude stated plainly. Amazing how well he could hide behind his sunglasses like that.
"I.. I don't wanna fuck thing s up. ..an'. ." he looks down now, eyes beginning to well just a bit. .shit. .. he hadn't cried his whole life as much as he had today. "I like him some, too. ..but I don't wanna hurt you...an' I know if I let it happen I would.. .so..I tore myself away an' walked out before it could. ..go too far."
"You wanted him..." Rude said, paused, then continued. "Still want him?" Still nothing, no indication of his true feelings on the matter. Just that cold, stoic Turk that he showed to everyone.
Reno nodded, very shamefaced...he could feel how tense Rude was right now.. .as if if he said the wrong thing right now his control would snap and he'd go apeshit. "But I don't know how much of it is wanting HIM. ..and how much of it is wanting..ALL of this.. .shit yo.. .I love 'em. .I love 'em all.. .but they. ..aren't..MINE!" He punctuated each word with a punch to the cushion of the chair he sat in.
"Momma'll have your hide if you break her chair," Rude said, as if they were just having a normal conversation. However, he'd managed to get to, what he thought, was the heart of the matter. He stood there in thought for a moment, then raised his left hand, making sure the glint of metal caught Reno's eye. "I thought this said differently."
He nodded again. "I know. .it's.. .it's hard ta explain, yo. .I feel so accepted, but parta me keeps wonderin' when I'm gonna do somethin' ..just like I did today. ..ta royally fuck things up."
"Sam's..." Rude didn't know how to put it right. "He's got a thing for redheads." Rude didn't know how to explain it exactly... he'd understood what Sam'd told him, but explaining it to Reno was something else entirely. Reno didn't have a lifetime of learning Sam's little nonverbal clues behind him. That and he wasn't sure how much of his place it was to divulge on Sam's past love life.
"Kinda like you do. .."Again, more bits come to light. "But he also has a thing about not touchin' what belongs ta someone else, 'specially yours. . .so he's not feelin' too horribly hot. ..'ause he wants me 'smuch as I did him. ..an'. ..ah, fuck, this really is a fucked up situation."
Rude said the most enlightening thing he could. "Yeah. It is."
"Well, how do we fix it? Or CAN we even fix it. ..? If I fuck this up...I don't know what I'll do, Rude...this is the first time I've known what a real family feels like. ..I don't wanna lose this..."
"Sam's never broken up with a girl," Rude finally said softly. "He's always the one that gets dumped." There was that, then there was... "And he's never been very good at picking the nice ones..."
"An' what I did. ..'cause I'm loyal..ah, shit, Rude..fuck...I can't do anything. ..fuck, I hate this!"
"What are you going to do about it?" Rude asked plainly. He'd already come to terms with what he felt he had to do about Sam's... sudden attraction to him... something Rude would bear all the guilt for, leaving nothing for Sam to feel guilty about.
"I don'tknow. .I've never dealt with anything like this before. .You and the boss are the only serious relationships I've ever had, yo. .."
"You need to do something," Rude said, his voice as if he were speaking not to his partner, his husband, but to a stranger who sought him out for counsel. "I know what I have to do... but I can't tell you how to fix your end."
"I can't give in..'cause it's wrong. ..but at the same time. .Rude..if I asked for one more hall pass. .just him an' I by ourselves...do you think it would help him get it out of his system? I mean. ..I don't wanna get involved, I CAN'T let myself get emotionally involved, 'cause it's not right.. .but I'm hoping maybe if he can get it outta his system it may get us ALL outta this somewhat unscathed."
A smile finally broke Rude's face. "My thoughts exactly." He kept it hidden that, the one other time, before Reno, that he'd had an issue like this... it hadn't turned out well for any of them. Maybe that's why Eric and Lucy... Nevermind.
Reno nodded, for ONCE his instincts had led him right in a situation he was not used to dealing with. ..he walked out to Sam now, lifting his chin. "Hey. ..I got..permission for one more hall pass yo...the venue's your choice."
Sam blinked. "Reno?" he asked, sounding almost like he was a little lost. Which he kind of felt like he was. "But Rudy said..." he gestured slightly with his hands, indicating that he was just following orders by sitting there.
Reno looked back for confirmation from Rude before saying anymore.
Rude nodded once, then turned to face the other direction. He wasn't sure why he was hearing the faintest sound of bells in his ears, but he certainly hoped it was not he for whom those bells were tolling.
"That enough confirmation, yo?"
"Yes." One could almost hear the 'sir' that had almost made its way out Sam's mouth. But Reno was not his superior... and technically, neither was Rudy, he supposed. But it just felt... safer to trust his younger brother's judgement in all this. A tiny voice in his head asked how things had gotten quite that fucked up.
"you pick the place..an we'll go, ok?" with that he dropped a gentle kiss on Sam's forehead. .something he'd discovered helped calm Rude when he was troubled.
Sam nodded, not speaking, but just taking Reno's hand and leading him towards the stairs. His room would probably be best, he thought.
Reno followed very simply. .hoping he was doing the right thing. ..and pushing the thought of emotional attachment out of his mind.
Sam opened the door, gesturing Reno in first. When he closed the door behind them, he paused. "I..." he started, laughing a little nervously. "I've never really done this before... Don't, ah... know the protocol and such..."
"'sokay, yo. ..I'm actually kinda nervous too. ..past experience aside. .I. ." he swallowed nervously...then sat on the bed. ..unconsciously beginning to slide the tee-shirt and his shorts off, for some reason when he leaned back he felt incredibly exposed...which was odd because he'd never had a problem with someone catching him naked before.
"So, you ah... you've done this before?" Sam asked. Oh yeah, making conversation. So going to fix that little fixation in his head. He found that he was nervously playing with the bottom edge of his tank top.
"Not..like this, yo. ..I mean..yeah, I was sellin' m'self before I became a Turk, it was that're starve, and starving wasn't an option. .." Great. ..let's make conversation with THAT little tidbit. ..good going Reno.
"Oh." Yeah, real intelligent conversation there Sammy-boy. The nervous laugh bubbled up again, and he refused to look at the naked Reno on his bed. "So... I guess, I... um... should probably take this off, huh?" He tugged at the bottom of his shirt.
"Yeah..." He suddenly had the urge to cross his arms in front of his chest. .and felt shame at all of his scars. ..especially the roughened one underneath his cock that ran fron just below the glans all the way to the bit of sensitive skin where it joned with his sac that Rude had obviously noted but never asked about. What would Sam think of him when he saw and felt all of those scars? There was barely an inch of flesh that had not been scathed in one form or another over the course of his life.
Sam tossed his tank top on the foot of the bed, then busied his hands with nervously playing with the button on his jean shorts. He was staring at his feet. "Um..." he mumbled. Where was that passion from earlier? Where was that need, that desire to possess?
Reno figured it had probably been swallowed when the reptile went back to sleep and his brain had begun to hinge back into place. "I won't force it if ya don't want it, ya know. ..I guess. ..I wanted to get this out of our systems. ..so things could go back ta normal..if ya don't. ..just tell me. ."
Sam wrung his hands together. "No, I DO want this..." he said, taking a step away from the door and towards the bed. "It's just..." Something was missing... different... "You're not... the same... as you were on the beach." There. That was it.
"I'm.. .nervous. .." He nodded. ."Let me tell ya a secret Sam. ..I'm not..someone who's had a lot of experience with real relationships. ..Rufus was my first. ..lasted 7 months. ..an' your brother was my second. ..an' more'n likely m'last. ..but with him. ..he makes me feel. ..Gods. ..it's so hard ta describe. . .he makes me feel like I AM worthy. .."
There was that nervous laugh again. "You mean you've only been with two... people?" Sam asked. He obviously misunderstood and he sat carefully on the very edge of the foot of the bed.
"I was a whore, Sam, I've slept with plenty.. but m'heart's only every been. .well. .with those two. .an' shit. ..it's. . " he had no idea how to say it. "I have been asked why I threw the pres over for Rude..." he chuckled now.
"And?" Reno had peaked a little of Sam's natural curiousity.
"'scause o'who he is. ..we know each other...inside n' out. . .not only in the bedroom but outta it..we're partners, Sam. ..in every sensea the word. ..yeah I got my moments when I read him wrong, happens even ta the best. ..but for the most part, it takes only a look or a touch and one o'us knows what the other wants."
"Rudy is pretty special..." Sam said, looking down at his feet.
"He's Mi Corazon..." The Costan words coming off his tounge made him flush a bit. "He's about spoiled me for anyone else."
Sam looked up at Reno, finally meeting the redhead's eyes with a slight hint of a smile. "¿usted habla Costan?" he asked, wondering if Reno was taught to speak as many languages as Rudy had been when he joined the Turks.
"Piquena." He responded with a smile. .in truth. ..very little "And mosta what I do know would make ya blush..like I could tell ya in Costan what I thhinka your brother, but I don't wanna insult yer mom, she's cool."
A real laugh, not a nervous one, fell from Sam's lips. "I'm sure Momma's said worse," he said, leaning in conspiritorily. "Tell me, amante de mi herman0"
"Hijo de la Puta. .." he laughed for real now. .. "Gods, I hate that asshole."
"Does Rudy know that's what you think of him?" Sam teased.
"not Rude. ..Eric.. as for Rude knowing. .I've never said it to him. ..I've never called him. .Mi Corazon...though he is... How is it you have one who's so damn good. .while the other is such a bastard?"
"Eric wasn't always that bad..." Sam said thoughtfully, leaning back on the bed, propping himself up with his hands. "And Rudy wasn't always the barrel of sunshine he is today."
"I know he usedta run. .I usedta be a mule for the Barons, I seen him around a few times before I was recruited, even though he didn't know THEN that it was me."
"Not just that," Sam said. "We all knew about that. I... tried to get him out of it... but I'm just glad he realized how bad it was for himself. Now if only Eric would do the same..." Sam shook his head. "But yeah, Rudy wasn't the most well behaved child... a bit of a hellion actually."
"He saved my life once ya know. .before. ..I was maybe alla 11 1/2...before. .well before the man who had me bought me. ..I got cornered by a buncha kids that didn't lke me taken over their business because I was so quick an' agile and had never been caught while delivering their junk. ..the oldes one was 16. ..He had a knife. .had me pinned against a wall and used a knife ta carve up my cheeks under botha my eyes. ..he was gonna make an examplea me. ..first the cheekls. .then he was gonna pop out my eyes an' then cut my tongue out and slit m'throat an' leave me there. ..Rude happened ta be goin' by. .he chased the kids off an' treated the slashes on m'cheeks. .."
Sam frowned. "Rudy said he saved a little girl that was being mugged by some kids from school." That was the incident that started his brother's turn from delinquent to productive member of society.
"He didn't wantcha ta know, I guess..how bad it was. .ut if he hadn't been there, I'da been another statistic. ..just another dead street kid."
Sam just nodded, not saying another word.
Reno sat up, hugging Sam. .who would be able to feel the scarring across his chest. .each one had stories to tell. .but the ones he'd had tattooed under his cheeks.. the story he'd told Sam.. .was special to him.
Sam returned the hug, but found himself pressing a stray lock of red hair between his finger and thumb behind Reno's back.
He leans into him now. .instead of the firey wildcat he'd been earlier. ..this Reno was gentler, open and honestly heartfelt.
Sam's free hand trailed lightly up and down Reno's lower spine. He wasn't intentionally trying to move things along, but he could feel that slight change in the air.
"Sam. .I.. if I told you. .you took a little piece of me this morning. ..would you be upset. ..? you did. .but. .I can't afford to get deeply involved. ." he shudders. "it wouldn't be fair to any of us.
"I... I know..." he said brokenly. "I think... It WOULD be better if there was just... just this... nothing more. You're... Rudy needs you. He might not say it... but I can see it." He pulled away slightly to look into Reno's eyes. "I... Whatever you're willing to give me... I can be happy with... I think."
Reno nodded, giving him one last kiss that was tender...and maybe a little sad. ..seeming to memorize the feel of that mouth . .it was a lot like Rude's. ..but different. ..the kiss felt a lot like goodbye.. .and as he broke away he said "We cool now? I. ..I don't wanna mess up things with the resta your family. ..I never had a real family before... "
A small part of Sam was protesting how that was all he would get to remember Reno's passion by. And that small part finally found its way to his mouth. "Can I... would you mind if I..." he couldn't find the words to ask.
Reno nodded gently. ..he was still nervous a little. ..but it had a different feel to it. ..sort of. ..mournful.
Sam rested his lips against Reno's. He didn't so much kiss him as just... shared breath with him.
Reno sighed into his mouth, giving him. .anything he wanted...yes, the flavor was different...more subdued. .gentle. ..tender. ..a itny salty droplet hitting sam's mouth. ..then he quashed the overwhelming urge to weep and simply closed his eyes. ..letting the fleeting feeling of connection carry him for a moment.
Unknown to both men in the room, Rude quietly came upstairs and leaned gently against the doorframe, just listening to the noises coming from the room.
Sam could feel the beginnings of a fire pooling low in his abdomen. It wasn't the same overwhelming, all consuming passion from the beach... but it was... warm... safe, almost. He pressed his tongue questioningly into Reno's mouth. "Is this what a last meal tastes like?" he thought he said in his head, but in actuality said outloud.
"Yeah. ..I think so. ..this. ..this hasta be it. .I can't let it go further. ..'cause Rude's Mi Corazon. ..he always will be. ..an' I can't lose that, ya know? I can't betray that.. ."
Sam froze. He hadn't meant to say that out loud. "I didn't mean to make it so hard for you..." his voice was so small.
"'sokay.. .shit happens, ya know. ..an' we all got caught up in the moment n' didn't think about the repercussions o' the whole thing. .. but we gotta get our heads on straight, yo. ..we gotta. .. we got a lot ta lose here."
"I'm not going to force you into something you don't want just because of... me."
"you ok with. .just this yo? I'd feel wrong. ..betraying him."
Sam sighed. "I can be..." he pulled away, reaching for his discarded shirt. Suddenly, Reno's nudity was making him a little uncomfortable.
Reno shuddered as he drew back up, siezing his lips into a soft kiss. .."Sam. ..I know. ..this is what you want. ..I'm giving you. ..this couple of hours...but after that. .it hasta end. .got it?"
"I'm not forcing you into something you don't want." Guilt was fading into Sam's face.
Reno got up then. ..beginning to draw his shorts and shirt back on. ..he was beginning to feel guilty too. .."Will it.. ever be the same again? It felt good.. .havin' an older brother figure ya know. ..without all the damn complications 'causea my dumb mistake."
"Why?" Sam asked, then immediately wished he could take it back. "I mean... just... tell me why it happened. Please?"
"I don't know, yo...my reptile brain took over n'...I do dumb shit when that happens."
"Reptile brain?" Sam asked. He didn't think Reno was part lizard... but with the way he'd heard that crazy ShinRa scientist... Hojo, was it?... could be... it wouldn't surprise him.
"I mean the part o mah brain that makes me think with my dick. ..insteada being smart."
Sam laughed that nervous laugh again. "Happen often?" he asked, somewhat casually. His big brother senses were tingling, and if it happened often with Reno... he might have to have a talk with Rudy.
"Nah...just.. happened here for some reason. ..with you. ..been hurt too damn much for it ta make many appearances outsidea bein' with Rude. Unless ya count it makin' me aggressive and doin' stupid shit that way..that DOES happen a lot."
"Good," Sam said, running a hand gently through Reno's hair. "So... where does that put us?"
"Somewhat adjusted version of bros?"