Waiting for the Rain

It had been a week since the explosion. A week since Tasha started to live in the ghetto. A week since Seamus got to sleep on his own bed.

Once again Seamus sat hunched over in his chair, only this time he was trying to clean out his cerebral interface. The small bowl of water in front of him was tinged yellow, but was mostly clear. In any other circumstance, he would of been worried, but to his own surprise, Tasha had helped him out with another 'alcohol trick'. Just pour a bit into the water, and it would sterilize it. Not as well as the proper medical alcohol, but since Seamus took time to find the cleanest water he could, it worked well enough.

Speaking of Tasha... she sat curled up beside the window, looking out of it to the green-grey skies.

"It's going to rain," she said softly. Seamus cast her a glance, before continuing to clean out his port. After several moments of silence, he felt her gaze on the back of his head. "Don't you care about the rain? It can be quite lovely."

"Replace lovely with deadly and your dead on," Seamus muttered darkly. He gave up on cleaning his port for the moment, and straightening up, turned to look at her. The movements caused his back to sting, and his leg to tang with pain, but it was getting better. "If you enjoy watching the unlucky ones whither in agony. If you like listening to screams of pain... how do you know it's going to rain?"

Tasha smiled at him distantly. He had become accustomed to her, and whenever she felt that he needed space and quiet, she wore that smile. "I broke all of my ribs a few years ago," she replied to his question. "It was when my family died... some of the bones pierced right through the skin, and only my brother had any hope that I would survive; even I thought I would die. He ended up cutting my skin and forcing my bones back inside of me, and eventually they healed up, but ever since then I always knew when it was going to rain... a sort of icy sensation, that doesn't quite hurt, but doesn't really tingle."

"Right..." Seamus shook his head. "And why should I believe you?" Tasha smiled mysteriously.

"Wanna make a bet?" she asked, a glint coming to her eyes. Seamus suppressed a groan.

"Sure, why not?" he muttered. "But I don't have anything worthwhile."

"Never fear!" Tasha giggled, but soon gripped her stomach tightly. Her cheery expression never left her face, though Seamus knew why her giggling stopped. She was hungry. They had run out of food a few days before, and she was trying her best not to complain. "For I don't need material objects... just listen to my stories and I shall be glad."

"I listen to your stories anyways," Seamus replied dryly. As a way to pass time each night, Tasha muttered fairy tales to herself. He guessed it was a way to soothe herself before she slept, for it was usually several hours before she started to toss and turn before her nightmares. On the first night it had taken only moments before they started.

"You actually listen?" Tasha gawked at him again, like the time he had called her sleeping beauty.

"Kind of hard not to," Seamus glared at her. "You've stolen my bed, and I'm not accustomed to the floor."

"You can take the bed," Tasha offered as she climbed off of the bed and walked over to him. She took the piece of clothe he had been using out of his hand, dipped it in the water, and guiding his head and neck with her hand gently, started to clean his cerebral interface for him. Seamus tensed out of habit, and shut his eyes as he tried to calm his paranoid thoughts. "Besides... I think the floor might be softer."

"Very funny," Seamus muttered. "If it rains, which it won't, I'll give you a foot massage."

"Foot massage?" Tasha paused, and he could feel her gaze and imagine her surprised expression, before she continued. "Sounds nice... you've gotta be careful Mr Har-"

Whatever she was going to say next, was never heard.

Seamus, once again acting out of habit, pushed her away from him. His paranoid thoughts increased dramatically as he watched her arm's flailing about as she tried to catch herself; everything was in slow motion.

He saw the object before she tripped over it, and calculated exactly how she was going to land before she was halfway through falling. His options were clear: cause her a few seconds pain and save her from a concussion, or let her get the concussion and lose her trust.

He knew the logical answer. He knew what he should of done. He knew how she was most likely going to react.

But he couldn't move.

The back of her head whacked against the hard board of the bed, and sent her to the floor in an awkward position. He didn't move. Her long hair, out from her usual braid from the combing she was doing before she favoured looking out of the window was fanned about her, almost prettily. He didn't even blink. Something red appeared at the base of her skull, and her eyes opened slowly, dilated and scared. His face was emotionless.

Then the red came. It washed over him without warning, cloaking around him like a cape... and he let it.

When he opened his eyes again, he was standing. His back and leg were in pain, and he could feel several scratch marks embedded around healing burns, along with matching ones on his face. The room was darker, telling him that night had come with its green-black skies and discussing reek of burning flesh that accompanied the fires.

But all of that didn't matter, for someone was crying.

He was facing the door, frozen, trying to decide whether or not to turn. He had a strong suspicion he was the reason the person was crying. And not just any person... Tasha. Tasha who had saved him and over the past week helped him back to health, Tasha, the one who had nightmares in his bed, who woke up with a bang every morning.

He risked looking back, only to see hazel eyes looking at him. There was only one emotion them... fear.

"Please..." she sobbed, her back pressed against the wall. Seamus felt vomit in his throat as he notice that her clothes were ripped. Tasha was hugging herself too tightly, and he couldn't tell how badly they were ruined... "I'm sorry... please... forgive me..."

"Tasha, I..." Seamus found himself saying. Tasha winched at his words, and pulled herself into a tight ball. "I..." She started to shake violently, and her crying became louder. Without another word, Seamus turned and left.

He stumbled and stepped haphazardly, almost setting off his own traps as he headed back to the streets. He tumbled down allies aimlessly, not knowing where he was heading.

Before he knew it, he was almost at the tunnels.

He stopped again, and looked at the entrance blankly. Memories flooded his vision, and redness threatened to take over again...

...his cousins, lying lifeless, looking up at him...

The images, they flashed across his vision.

...his mother, staring at him fearfully from a corner...

If they weren't drenched in red, they were black and white.

...Nietzcheans standing over his father, screaming in pain and begging for mercy...

And fearfully real... he could never forget them.

...Brendan yelling at him with a bleeding face...

He had been at every one of them, and at every one of them, he finally blacked out.

...Kiki curled up, trying not to cry as she watched him...

But he would remember his black outs sooner or later... in his dreams. Drenched in red with peeking glances of greys, and the blues of his mothers eyes. He would never, ever forget any of them, because forever they would haunt him. What was worse, is he had no control. He was someone else completely when the redness took over... stronger, deadlier, and with no guilt.

"Shay!" he was brought back to reality by a voice, and looking around, he saw Kiki standing at the entrance to the tunnel. The first drops of rain were falling. "Come on inside now! Before the acid falls on you!"

Seamus didn't move. How could he? A girl that he barely knew was lying on his bed crying this very moment, and he didn't know why.

It started to rain a little harder.

Kiki groaned, and ran out into the rain. She winched a little as a few droplets hit her skin, but didn't dare stop until well after she had grabbed his wrist and pulled him inside of the tunnels. All the children were asleep, as were most of the adults. The only people awake were the two of them, two guards at the door (one with a gun Seamus had supplied him with) and someone smoking someone that caused a light green smoke to dance throughout the room, sitting across the hall.

Kiki pushed him down onto one of the low, hard benches, and sat beside him, glaring.

"What exactly where you doing out there in the rain?" she demanded. "And why didn't you come in when I called you?"

"What's black and white and red all over?" Seamus asked. His voice sounded almost... depressed. He didn't get like this often, but Kiki knew what to do... in fact, Kiki and Brendan were the only ones that knew what to do.

First she slapped him. Hard. Seamus' cheek stung as his head swung to the side with the blow, almost hitting the wall. He could almost taste coppery blood in his mouth...

Then Kiki hugged him tightly. He almost suffocated, and finally his mind did something it was supposed to, and ever so slowly, he pried Kiki off of him.

"What happened?" Kiki asked, loosening her hold on him, but not letting go. She rests her shin on his shoulder, looking at the side of his face. "What troubles you this time?"

"I don't know..." Seamus muttered, biting his lip as he looked down. "I... I blacked out again. Alls I remember was that Tasha..." he trailed off, looking for the words.

"What did Tasha do?" Kiki asked. When he didn't answer, she tried again. "What happened before you blacked out?"

"We were talking," Seamus answered. "She mentioned that it was going to rain, and I didn't believe her... we made a bet. She got up to help me clean my port, and I said that if it rained, I would give her a foot massage..."

"Lucky girl," Kiki smiled. "You always were good with your hands."

"And she started to say something," Seamus continued as if he hadn't heard her. It was a good thing; if he had stopped, he wouldn't have been able to finish. "I... I don't know what... but she started to call me 'Harper'... a-and... and..." Seamus didn't know it, but he was almost at tears. "And I pushed her..."

"You pushed her?" Kiki blinked, and backed away from him. The loss of contact must of affected him, for he looked up at her. "Is... is she alright?"

"I don't know," Seamus answered, whipping away the tears before they could fall. "I blacked out right after..."

"What happened when you came to?" Kiki demanded, a furious light in her eyes he had only seen once before; when he came to after blacking out several years ago, only to find Brendan, bloody and unconscious at his feet, and everyone staring at him. "Was she alright then?"

"She was crying," Seamus answered, trying to school his voice back to normal. "She was lying on my bed, crying. I was facing the door at first, so I didn't see her, and when I turned around, she started begging for forgiveness... and..."

"And what?" Kiki continued to glare.

"Her clothes were torn Kiki," Seamus said quietly, looking down to the ground again. "I don't know what I did to her, but I hope to death it wasn't what I think it was..."

"It better not of been," Kiki huffed as she stood up. Seamus watched as she walked across the room, but knew better then to follow her. Instead he ran his hands through his hair.

'How stupid can you get Seamus Z?' he berated himself. 'You could of helped her... you could of stopped yourself from doing that... you could of-'

"Here," Kiki's voice startled him, and she thrust a bunch of second hand clothes into his lap, and some provisions. "You'll need those for when you go back."

"But-"

"No buts," Kiki glared at him, and sat down again. "You'll just have to hand her the clothes, try to help with her wounds, give her space if she needs it, and explain about your black outs."

"But-"

"I said no buts!" Kiki yelled. The man across the room stared, and a few people stirred for a moment before sinking back into sleep. "If she's living with you, and obviously she is, then she has to know this. You've told me of times you've blacked out just because you were too depressed and hadn't been outside for long enough. She has a right to know so that she can get out of your way; so that she knows what to do!"

Grimly, Seamus saw the logic in this, nodded, and stood up. He walked towards the entrance of the tunnels, and stood there, waiting for the rain to stop. And Kiki?

Kiki just glared.