She was a loose cannon; she had always been one to do whatever (and often times whoever) she wanted. This was something that anyone who had ever been around her for long enough knew about Quinn Fabray, much to the dismay of her parents. They had tried their hardest to tame her and keep her line, had even tried to install the fear of God into her, but there were times, that no matter how hard they tried, they just couldn't succeed with these things.
Quinn was a highly impulsive woman, though most of her impulsive nature always seemed to shine through whenever she felt stressed, anxious, or lost, and there had been many times in her life that she had felt all three of those things.
While some had found her impulsive nature to be endearing, it had always caused so many issued for her parents Russell and Judy. The Fabrays were perfectionist and control freaks they always had been, and Quinn was sure that they always would be. It was second nature to her parents. Quinn and her sister, Frannie had always been taught that being perfect, and having control was the key to a truly happy life. However, Quinn had soon learnt that you couldn't have four people, all of which loved control, living harmoniously under one roof.
She had soon learnt that there would always be a weak link in any perfect chain. One person would always break first, snapping, and falling free, leaving the chain wide open. In Quinn's family, this weak link, was usually her. She had spiralled out of control may times, had made mistake after mistake and her parents had loved to throw each one of those mistakes back in her face any chance they got. Her teen pregnancy, the fact that she'd had sex out of wedlock in the first place, her tramp stamp of Ryan Seacrest (which she swore one day she would have removed or covered up with something better, something classier, if she could find something).
They would find just about anything they could to judge her, or at least anything that they could think of that didn't meet their high expectations of what a good, Christian woman should be. Though Quinn had never seen how any of those things had an effect on her faith, her parents would always think differently.
In turn, she had quickly learned that, while there would always been a weak link, there was another end to that spectrum, a strongest link, the one everyone else depended on, or in her family's case, the person that would be in charge of everything and everyone. The person with all the real control.
The puppet master, pulling all of the strings.
One person that would always win.
In the Fabray household, that person had always been her father, Russell. He was the biggest control freak and perfectionist of them all. He was harsh, cold, and would often manipulate anyone to seeing things his way, the right way, as he liked to think.
There had been more than one occasion where Quinn would see something in her mother's eyes that told her that she didn't agree with Russell, but she would never dare speak out against him. Even if it meant that she put him before her own children sometimes.
Her two daughters Quinn and Francesca, both as alike as two new pins in their looks, and both baring a striking resemblance to their mother, the same hazel eyes and blonde hair that always seemed to make people fawn all over them.
Both Judy and Russell had always tried to teach his daughters the importance of perfection from a young age. They had tried to drill it into both of them since early childhood, telling them that being perfect was just as much a part of them as anything else was.
That being perfect was all just a part of being a Fabray.
Everyone around them knew that. Everyone around them had always viewed the Fabrays as being the all-around, picture perfect, upper middle class American family.
And all her life, Quinn had tried her hardest to fit that bill, she had tried her hardest to be the perfect daughter that Frannie had proven time and time again to be. She had always tried to maintain some semblance of control, just like their parents had always wanted.
But, unlike the rest of her family, Quinn had always found it hard to keep control. Her impulsive nature would always get the better of her in some way or another, and it never seemed to take long. All she had ever wanted; all her life was to make her parents proud of her. She had heard them praising her sister time and time again, building her up and placing her on the highest of pedestals.
All her life she had wanted to show her parents that she was good enough. That she could be just as perfect as her sister was.
A perfect Fabray, in control of everything around her. Always.
But she had lost count of all the times that she had lost control growing up. She would always wind up doing something that she knew her father would hate if he were to ever find out that she'd done them. But she always did them anyway. Simply because she could.
In high school, she was known as being one third of the 'unholy trinity'. She and her two best friends had been dubbed as this once, as a snide comment as they walked down the school hallway. They had known it was true, and so, they had taken the comment in their stride, and had owned it with every fibre of their being. Living out their school life that way every single day- however ironic it might've been for Quinn, who had been president of the celibacy club at the time.
As alike as they were in their looks, Frannie and Quinn couldn't have been more different in their personalities. Frannie was cool, calm, and collected and always managed to maintain control so effortlessly, even when she had been a child, she'd had no trouble following all of their parents' rules to the letter. She truly was the perfect Fabray, and it was no wonder to Quinn why she was their parents' favourite.
It didn't matter how many times they would claim to not have a favourite; Quinn would always see the truth in their eyes. No matter how hard she tried to compete with her older sister, she knew that she'd never actually be able to. Their parents would constantly compare them in any way that they could. Quinn soon learnt that at best, she would always come second.
She often found herself wondering if all other siblings felt this way. Did every sibling in the world feel the need to compete with their brothers or sisters? Or was this feeling all brought on thanks to how she had been raised? To always be perfect. She never felt good enough when it came to her and Frannie. She had always felt inferior. She knew that had everything to do with how their parents had spoken to her growing up.
Don't do that Quinn.
You should take more pride in your appearance Quinn.
Why can't you just be more like Frannie, Quinn?
Were just some of her parents' favourite things to say to her. Of course, her mother had always loved to focus on the shallower, and materialistic aspects to life. She was forever neatening out Quinn's clothing when she was a young child, trying to tame her hair that had a knack for doing whatever it wanted- much like the girl it belonged to. Any time Quinn got even the smallest amount of dirt or made a small scuff on any of her clothing, Judy would demand that they be changed, never allowing, or wanting her daughters to look even slightly out of place.
Then there were the comments she would make on the small amounts of weight gain she had as she made the transition from elementary school to middle school. Commenting on how her clothes didn't fit her quite right anymore, tugging at them, and looking at her from all angles before making snide comments.
By the time she reached twelve-years-old, Quinn was totally and utterly obsessed with her looks. Always worrying about her weight, her clothes, her hair and just about anything else she could think of. It didn't help that, even away from home, people would comment on her looks. Kids could be cruel, and every day she would be taunted as she walked down the hallways, having scathing nicknames made up about her.
It hadn't taken long for Lucy Caboosey to catch on, for it to be called at her anytime she walked past anyone, another nickname that had started as a snide remark by one mean boy, who had rejected her when she had shown interest. He had been a soccer player, popular, and smart and she had wanted so badly to be like him, to be accepted by everyone, she thought, that maybe if she could be with someone like him, she would become all of those things by proxy.
Instead, all she had become was Lucy Caboose.
Shortly after that, she had made the decision to do whatever it took to make sure she lost the weight, she began to do aerobics videos with her mother, and go on jogs with Frannie, before asking her parents if she could start doing gymnastics. She found that she had a natural flair for athletics, and she began to dedicate a lot of her time to them. And so, the weight began to fall off of her in no time.
Her mother seemed even happier about that than she was, she began to be pleased with how both of her daughters were beginning to look. But there were still some things that Quinn didn't love about herself. No matter how much weight she lost, she was still known as Lucy Caboosey, after all, old habits die hard.
She went to her parents, crying one night, still feeling so low after all the hard work she had put in seemed to be for nothing, for her it still wasn't good enough. And so she did something that she had never expected to, something to make sure that no one could ever or would ever call her Lucy Caboosey again.
She began to go by her middle name, Quinn, completely disregarding the Lucy, and asked to move schools, just in time to start high school, to completely begin again as quickly as possible.
With the move, came a new, and better job opportunity for her father, bringing in much more money than ever before. And so, as soon as they were settled, she'd asked her parents for a nose job for her birthday one year, and as she had turned on the water works, and pulled at their hearts, her father had been happy to grant her what she wanted. After that, she began to hear more comments about her looks, comments that she had never heard before in her life.
So pretty.
Pretty little thing.
Gorgeous.
Perfect Quinn Fabray.
As she got older, she started to notice the way people would speak about herself and Frannie. How people only ever seemed to see them as their looks and nothing else. It was the same way for her mother. Ever since meeting her husband in high school and staying by his side through everything, then marrying him straight out of college, she had been seen as nothing more than a trophy for Russell. And despite graduating high school with Honours and being one of the top students in her class at college, Judy had been happy to live her life as Russell's trophy.
Judy had been given a life of ease, never wanting for anything. Quinn supposed there some perks that came with marrying a very successful lawyer, even more perks now that he was a member of congress and in her life, she had seen quite a lot of those perks too.
It was a life that Judy had told her daughters to cling on to, to aspire to the same things as her, marry well, and live a life of luxury as a house wife. It was a life that their mother had truly hoped for and wanted for them, and a life style that Frannie had a welcomed with open arms. Meeting a man during her first week at Dartmouth, and marrying him soon after graduation, just as their parents had.
And just like their parents had, and just like Frannie had, Quinn had kept that tradition going, not wanting to be the one to let them all down, she had followed in each of their footsteps. That's how she had ended up moving to New York a year after graduating from Yale, with a big, shiny engagement ring on her finger. New York City. The greatest city in the world. Or at least that's what everyone else liked to call it, well, everyone except her.
To Quinn, New York was no different to any other city that she had ever been to, and for Quinn, every city that she had ever been to was far too big, too crowded, and far too stressful- and she liked to avoid stress as much as she could out of fear of the next impulse choice she would make. She could only imagine how she would react to the stress of living in a city with 8.6 million other people in it.
The greatest city in the world.
That saying had always made her scoff and roll her eyes. She'd been to New York plenty of times, in fact, by the time that she had reached sixteen, she had lost count of all the times that she had visited the city. Her mother and father had taken her and Frannie to New York any chance they got when they were growing up, and of course, there had been the time she had gone to New York with the glee club when she had been in her junior year of high school.
Quinn would admit that she could see the appeal to Broadway, and some of the finer restaurants, they were second to none. But other than the odd road trip here with her sorority friends, or even her boyfriend, she had never seen herself in New York for any extended amount of time, let alone moving back here, ready for her future and life there.
The greatest city in the world.
Her new home.
The place where she and Biff would be building their life together. Now that they had actually graduated from Yale, their future could officially begin. New York was the place they would inevitably get married, have children, and start a family of their own, of course, those last two things would be done away from the city, in the suburbs, West Chester, or maybe somewhere in Long Island, on a big private estate like the ones both of them grew up in.
It was also the place that Quinn would be living out her days as the doting, stay-at-home-wife-and-mother, which was definitely not the life that Quinn had ever planned on having, or the life that she wanted.
When she was younger, she had always imagined that she graduate from an Ivy League school, preferably at the top of her class before going on to further her education at grad school. She thought that she would have a chance to travel and see so much more of the world before she finally settled down and had kids and bought a home.
But then she met Biff McIntosh.
Biff had managed to weave his way into her life, burrowing deep beneath her skin and changing all of her plans. They'd met freshman year of college, at a party hosted by on of his high school friend's fraternity's. Quinn hadn't wanted to call it love at first sight. She had never believed in anything like that. But it had definitely been something at first sight for the pair of them.
Lust?
Infatuation?
There had definitely been a strong attraction between the two of them. Quinn had been able to sense the tension in the air whenever they found themselves in the same room as each other that night, and they had found themselves in the same room as each other a lot. Wherever she was, Biff wasn't too far away from her.
It had been when his friend, Warner (who had met Quinn in their performance theory class), stepped in and introduced them to each other that either of them actually spoke to the other.
It had taken weeks of them hanging out together in groups of friends, or at various parties, and after a few drunken kisses, that Biff had finally asked her out on a date, and of course, Quinn had said almost instantly.
But it definitely hadn't been love at first sight. No, love had come along a lot further down the line, when they had been dating almost a year. They'd been at a party and had both drank far too much. The words had tumbled from his mouth and into hers during a drunken make-out session back in Quinn's dorm.
It hadn't been romantic. Not in the slightest and he hadn't even remembered it the following morning. The first time he told her he loved her, and he couldn't even remember it. His second declaration had been better, over dinner, and while she had been mid conversation talking about something she was passionate about.
She loved Biff, or at least, she thought she did. She knew, he was everything that she should want in a partner. He was young, wealthy, and a wildly attractive heir to a fortune. He was everything that she could ever want in a partner, or everything she should want in a partner.
But more than anything, he was everything that her parents had ever wanted for her. He was well-mannered, well educated, a Christian and every bit as Conservative as the rest of her family. She knew he was the right match for her. And more importantly, he was the right match for her in her parents' eyes.
He was everything they had ever wanted for her.
Smart? Check.
Attractive? Check.
Hopelessly devoted to Quinn? Check.
She knew that if she stayed with him, she would be set for life, he came from money and was set to make a small fortune in his own name. She knew, with Biff, she would never have to worry about anything.
But sometimes, when she was alone with her thoughts, she would catch herself second guessing things. Would catch herself wondering, if this was really the life that she wanted or if she had just been led to believe it was what she wanted.
Biff McIntosh.
The man of her dreams, or the man who should be what her dreams were made of and yet, sometimes, things between them, just didn't feel right to her. Didn't feel the way she had thought true love would feel, or what finding your person would feel like.
She had heard so many people talking about their soul mates, and how everything had fallen into place for them, and what she had with Biff, never really seemed to feel like what everyone else was talking about.
She couldn't help but think that she might've felt something akin to that once, a long time ago. When she had been younger, and more naïve. Back when she hadn't really known much about the world, but she believed she knew everything.
Back when she ruled the halls of McKinley High School with her two best friends.
If she looked back now, she was sure, that back then, she had truly found the other half to herself. Albeit a friend. She was sure that no one would ever quite know her like this person had.
No one had ever known what she was thinking or feeling from a simple glance across a choir room. No one else had ever known how to make her feel better without needing to be told.
What she'd had with this person, had been truly special.
Had been a one of a kind feeling and connection and she knew that she could search the world over and never find anything like what she had with them.
Even now as she walked around the empty apartment, waiting for Biff to come home, looking at the pictures taken of them over the years, her smile a little duller with him than in any of her pictures she had stashed away from her glory days on the cheerleading squad and in the glee club.
That being said. Quinn Fabray was happy with the life she had chosen. How could she not be? She had everything that she could possibly want, the only thing that she would change about her life? Living in New York.
Even just thinking about it left a sour taste in her mouth.
Quinn had never envisioned her life in New York. Not ever. She had a tunnel vision plan and New York had definitely not been in it. She had always seen herself staying in New Haven. She'd felt at home there, they had made a home for themselves, and Quinn knew that after graduating from Law School Biff could've had an amazing career there.
But he had wanted to be back in the city that he'd grown up in. He had very much wated to slot back into the Manhattan socialite life style he had known long before meeting her only this time, he had wanted Quinn to join him.
As much as she didn't want to leave, Quinn had been taught many times in her life that a woman is supposed to submit to her man. She had been taught it by her parents and had seen her mother fit into the role of a submissive house wife time and time again, she had been taught it in church and Sunday school. She had always been taught that a man is the leader in the relationship.
The man was the leader and the wife followed.
Meaning, wherever Biff wanted to be, Quinn would be dutiful, and stay by his side, just the way her mother had always stuck by her father (even when he didn't deserve it) and just as Frannie continued to stick by Harrison.
This was her life now.
Staying home and waiting for Biff to finish work.
She could already tell just how lonely life would be for her here.
She had known that starting a fresh would never be easy, and that it would be even harder starting a fresh with a partner who worked all the hours that god could send, and rarely had time for you, all of this, made worse by Quinn being in a city that she had never really liked.
8.6 million people and yet, it felt like the loneliest place on earth.
She looked out at the city bellow her, watching as cars streamed by, the hustle and bustle filling her ears and being so different to the nice quiet life she had become accustomed to.
8.6 million people and she had never felt lonelier.
She sighed and pulled her phone from her pocket, her body working on auto pilot as she scrolled through her most recent messages, looking for one person and one person only.
The one person who had always known her better than she had even known herself.
The other half of her.
She starred at that name at the top of the message thread, a strange feeling rolling around the pit of her stomach, a feeling that seemed to be synonymous with this person. She shook her head slowly before locking her phone and slipping it back into her pocket.
She hadn't seen, or even spoken to her in months, since the last time they were all in Ohio when they had been visiting the Glee club and when her friends had all last met Biff. She wasn't sure how she was supposed to text her out of the blue asking if she wanted to grab coffee.
They'd never had a simple friendship and she didn't know if they ever would.
8.6 million people, and still, her heart and mind called out to one.
Santana Lopez.