"Fine," Rude replied, looking over the menu. He couldn't see himself eating Costan that wasn't his mother's cooking... and he'd been craving Wutan food for the last few days anyway.
Reno immediatly ordered his squid and dragon noodles. ..he hadn't had it in a long time. ..not since the incident last year that had started all of this.
"Drunken noodles," Rude told the waitress for his order. He lifted his water glass as well, indicating that he would like more water.
Tseng made his own order of some sushi, and a pot of the wutain tea.
Rufus chose to stick with the apparant theme, ordering lo mein and a bottle of expensive white wine.
Reno shifted uncomfortably in his seat, he knew Rufus would likely already have the full report in hand, he simply was not sure how much he felt comfortable discussing.
"I read Dr. Chang's preliminary evaluation," Rufus prompted. It was more a statement than anything else. If either of them wanted to offer anything up, he would let them. Otherwise, he'd just continue reading the reports.
Reno's cheeks pinkened. ..he knew what he'd found. ..not all of it pleasent.
"Would you two be comfortable discussing it, or would you prefer I left it alone between you and the doctor?" Rufus asked carefully. He took a small sip from his wineglass, smiling just slightly at the fine vintage.
Michael TW Kelley: "'sjust. ..some of it is. ..well. ..embarrassing."
"As I mentioned, if you are uncomfortable, don't push it," RUfus said. "You are both going through trying times, and I would hate to be the cause of making it worse."
Reno gestured with his hands a moment to indicate the scars on his arms and his cheeks went from pink to red. "He asked me about. ..well. ..my own tendencies toward self-injury." Rude had been in there for only part of that conversation, but he felt his husband had a right to know.
"And...?" both Rude and Rufus prompted at the same time.
"He's right. .I do have a tendency to get myself into situations where I am likely to be injured. ..and yes I have. .doone it myself." He'd managed to hide it from Rufus during the time they'd been together, only Gods know how.
Rude didn't speak. He'd somehow known, or at least, always suspected, there was something else behind Reno's cutting. However, when he'd asked the redhead to stop, was it more for Rude or Reno's benefit?
Rufus just raised an eyebrow.
"I guess...I'm just so used to fighting for my life that being in a situation where I don't have to feels..wrong, somehow, Gods, I don't know." How to articulate the feeling of spending your entire childhood on the run and fighting for survival?
Rude frowned. As far as he knew, that wasn't it at all.
"How does that tie into injuring yourself?" Rufus asked, slightly confused.
Reno shoook his head, this normally articulate man having so much trouble suddenly figuring out how to explain it. "I guess. ..I figure if I hurt myself first. ..it's not gonna hurt as bad when they do it...as well as just trying to feel. ..something. ..anything at all ..so many reasons, not all of 'em easy to put into words."
Rude's frown deepened. He couldn't even begin to understand where Reno was coming from, and he wasn't sure why, but it bothered him.
Rufus took another sip from his wine glass. "Prior to this meeting, were you aware you had these... tendencies?"
"Yeah. .but. .it was always under the surface...It'd usually only happen after a few weeks of putting up with everyone's shit. ..You know where I was before you found me, sir, and it was. ..not a good place ta be. Dad.. .he used ta hit me when I cried anyway. ..used ta say 'tears are for pansies and fags and women' " And there was part of the crux of the whole thing. ..before Rude he wouldn't cry. ..he had very few outlets for the more intense emotions so it was released through physical pain. . .after that the self-injury had become almost habit.
"Your father must've been taking notes from my own father's teachings," Rufus said carefully. It was common knowledge that the only legitimate ShinRa child was taught using the 'spare the rod, spoil the child' method.
"Prob' so. .he never touched my sister...she was 'his baby'.. ." His face pinkens at the reminder of what his father had done with Marcia was killed.
Rufus nodded, letting Reno continue if he had to.
"Never resented her or anythin', though. ..she tried ta protect me an' Mom the best she could. . .she died when I was 9"
"My apologies," Rufus offered. He was fairly certain he knew that little fact from Reno's file, but hearing the redhead actually say it made it more... real, for lack of a better word.
"Anyway. .it was after dad. .took his little revenge for that when the cutting started. .."
"I see," Rufus said, wondering, but not asking, what that little revenge was. He was fairly certain he could guess, but it wasn't his place.
Reno pulled a sheet out of the report that was hidden in a sealed envelope. ..it had been ordred that only Reno had permission to open it, and he did so. ..inside it. ..was the medical report from when thee school had sent him to be seen when he'd collapsed in class. ..the only reason his father hadn't been arrested was he'd been too ashamed to tell who'd done it.
Rufus carefully read over the paper that was handed to him. Its contents were... most enlightening.
"That's when. ..well it started.. ." his face was still burning when he sealed it back up.
"My most sincere, deepest apologies," Rufus said carefully. If Reno gave him the word, the redhead's father was a dead man, if he hadn't already been killed by someone else.
"He died of cirrhosis when I was 10...only thing that pisses me off is the system missed it. Dropped the fucking ball."
"The system was significantly more flawed under my father's hand," Rufus offered.
However, he was interrupted from continuing by the arrival of their food.
Reno picked at his food, looking at the table as if it was the most fascinating thing in the world. .. he flet DRAINED after opening that up to his friend and ex.
Rude ate like he hadn't eaten in days. The drunken noodles were delicious, and the fact that they put extra chopped peanuts on it was a lovely touch.
Tseng ate the sushi in a delicate manner, as he always did, sipping his tea after preparing it in the traditional wutain manner. He personally did not think that injuring oneself to keep others from doing so was particularly logical, but he was not about to say so.
Reno then looked up from his food, stealing glances at everyone, then began eating a bit more, but it was obvious he was forcing the issue.
Rude poked at a piece of squid on Reno's plate. "You gonna eat that?" he asked, smiling gently in hopes of getting Reno to smile as well.
Reno gave him a soft, tentative smile, picking up the piece of squid and chewing on it. "guess I should, eh?"
Rude nodded, picking up and holding a bite of his noodles. "Try some. They're really good." Nope, he wasn't trying to get Reno to eat until he was filled to the brim. Nope. Not him. Not at all.
Reno took a small bite and nodded "These are good." He'd had no real appetite since this whole thing had started, and he knew Rude clucked when he lost weight because he worried. Reno,a fter all, didn't have a whole lot of padding to spare as it was, so when he got like this and started dropping weight it was a bad, bad thing.
Unlike Rude, who seemed to be gaining padding to spare. He finished 3/4 of his plate before offering the rest to Reno. The redhead needed to eat anyway.
Reno ate the best he could, he really did. ..at least he hadn't gotten bulimic like his sister had toward the end. ..eating to please Mum then going back to the bathroom and throwing it up. . she'd been pretty messed up before she died from watching the little family going swirly,
When their plates were cleared and dessert was turned away, Rude sat there, wondering what was on the agenda for the remainder of their time in Edge. If you asked him, he and Reno didn't need any more counselling sessions; they got what needed out in the open, and they would be fine.
Reno just wanted to get an apartment if they were going to be staying here, swet up home, and get back into their lives. ..then get himself back into active duty. He missed the excitment.
"Is there anything else we need to do today?" Rude asked.
Rufus looked thoughtful for a moment, then turned to Tseng. "I have nothing for them. Do you?"
Tseng shook his head. "Go get yourselves set up, we'll likely be staying for a while as we oversee the rebuilding."
Rude nodded then stood. He glanced over at Reno to make sure he was coming, then walked outside. As soon as he was there, he lit a cigarette, passing it to Reno before taking out one of his own and lighting it.
Reno took the cigarette gratefully, then started looking around. "So,,guess we sjhould start lookin', huh? You'll probably want a two bedroom at first. ." He was still increasingly nervouse about how things were going to go.
Rude took a deep breath. "I can survive a one bedroom," he said carefully. After the breakthrough of the morning, he was certain he could handle sharing a bed with Reno. And if things got too bad, there was always the couch.
Reno seemed to cheer at that statement, and went to buy a paper so they could look through the ads together.
Rude smiled as he followed Reno, but he took a deep breath as well. This was it, another one of those baby steps... Then why didn't it feel like a baby step? Why did it feel more like a leap?
Reno seemed almost to read that thought, and softly said "Leap of faith, yo, leap of faith." As he opened up the paper he saw the new complex. "Hey, this one's run by the same folks that ran our condo complex means it should be fairly well-maintained."
Rude raised an eyebrow. "Balcony," he said, indicating how much he'd liked their former place's look over the city.
"Yeah, though the view's not much yet."
A tiny grin peeked out from the corner of Rude's mouth. "Cat door?"
"Yep, though it's more like an oversize dog door. .. one of the other neighbors has a nibel hound for a pet." He chuckles.
Rude's eyes went wide. He could only imagine the cat and dog fight that could occur when Reno's cat met with that person's dog. He pulled out his phone, offering it to Reno. "You call."
Reno nodded, talking to the man for several moments and nodding with a wide grin. "550 a month? Plus utilities? Yeah, think we can manage that...yeah, we might need to upgrade to a two eventually but for now the one bedroom's fine. ..yeah, we'll be over in 20."
Only 550? Rude's eyes widened. "That's cheap. Wonder what's wrong with it..." he said. Their last place had cost well over 1100 a month... then again, that was a condo on the upper plate of Midgar in the ShinRa quarter.
"They make do with what they can since Midgar fell. ..'sgonna take a long time ta rebuild...until then they charge what the people can afford."
Rude shrugged. If the place was good, who was he to complain?
When they reached the complex it was not quite as run down as the rest of Edge, and it was in the city's ritzier quarter, to the south of the monument. It was 6 stories in height, with an outdoor pool in the back that looked to be well-maintained. "Looks nice."
"Let's see the inside," Rude said, opening the lobby door for Reno to enter first.
Reno opened the door, the lobby was as well kept as the pool, plants in the entrayway, and an elevator, something their other building HADN'T had...he was looking forward to NOT having to carry groceries up three flights of stairs.
Rude nodded. He had to admit, he was impressed. "So far, so good," he said quietly with a smile.
They met the caretaker of the building, who showed that it had a private gym, as well as another pool, this one a lap pool indoors for winter use. then the condo itself. It had a white-laquered kitchen, a good size master bath, and a huge bedroom
Rude let out a low whistle. "Nice," he said, poking his head out onto the balcony.
"No problems for long with that six pack, eh?" He chuckled, the private gym had been one thing their landlord had been GOING to build in the other one before. ..well before Meteor destroyed all of his Midgar holdings.
Rude just smiled back. "We'll take it," he told the man, figuring that Reno was along for the ride as well.
"Heck yeah."
They filled out the paperwork quickly, and within the hour they were walking through their own, currently unfinished, condo. "Furniture shop today or tomorrow?" he asked.
"Today, yo. ..and we gotta pick up Livewire from the hotel before Rufus has him euthanized. ..he caught him and Dark Nation. ..well in compromising positions."
Rude's palm hit his forehead with a resounding smack. "If your cat made her a mommy... Rufus will have yours AND my balls."
"I think he stopped 'em in time. ..'snot my fault Darkie deems him worthy. . .an' ya know she's PICKY."
"Picky, sharp, pointy," Rude rattled off, deliberately misunderstanding Reno. He finally trailed off into laughter, having run out of sharp adjectives.
"Nah, yo.. .she's choosy about who she makes friends with."
"I know," Rude said, feeling good to have laughed. It felt like quite some time since he'd laughed at something that silly. "She didn't much care for you the first time she met you," he said offhandedly. "Perhaps I should've listened to her judgement..." His could be considered harsh words were offset completely by the smile that went all the way, and included, his eyes.
"Yeah, but then you wouldn't have had a chance ta have somuch fun. ..besides, I grow on you like a weed." And it hit him then. ..when was the last time they'd joked like this?
"Weed, mold, whatever," Rude said, pulling Reno into an embrace and laughing gently.
Reno leaned into him. ..suddenly shaking a bit, but when he looked up his expression was wistful, relieved happiness. "I missed ya big man. ..I really did." And he knew Rude would know exactly what he meant.
Rude nodded and smiled, squeezing just a little tighter before placing a kiss to the top of Reno's head and stepping away. "Furniture," he said, gesturing towards the door. "I'm not sleeping on the floor."
"Me, either, yo. My back would hate me forever."
Reno when they reached the furniture store took all of thirty seconds to make up his mind. ..the second he saw the cherry wood four poster in the front of the store with the king size soma mattress his mind was made up. "That. ..that's the one right there."
Rude walked around the bed, looking a little odd. "It's a little... girly," he said carefully. Perhaps it was the lavender sheets. Might even have been the light salmon throw pillows. Either way, the bed as it was screamed 'girl' at him.
"Not keeping the sheets, yo. ..just the bed." Once he'd left the vicinity of the bed he picked up a set of black sheets that had a white comforter with gold accents inside. as well as black silk pillowcases. "That's the bedding set I want."
Rude grunted and nodded, the whole shopping thing already wearing thin on him. He was an in and out kind of shopper.
Once Reno had set up a time to have the bed delivered and the sheets bought, he got the mahogany living room set that had gone the way of the dinosaurs during meteor because he knew Rude had LOVED that set. and then. ..his eyes widened. ..he saw something that had his eyes filled with so much longing it was almost painful a black laquered baby grand that sat right in the back corner of the shop. ..he gave Rude a look that said he'd put up with ANYTHING he dealt out with no complaints so long as he could have THAT.
"Aren't the holidays coming soon?" he asked nonchalantly. He knew he would give in and let Reno have the piano, and he knew that Reno know that he would give in and let Reno have the piano. However, he just had to put up the token resistence. It wasn't the same without it.
"Yeah. ..but Gods.. .you know how long I've wanted one. ..mama's looked just like that. . .it's. ..it's gorgeous. .."
The shopowner came up them "I see you have your eye on the Harmony. ..we just got her in yesterday, but we had a lady in here looking at it just after we got her and she looked REAL interested.. ..might wanna get her while she's still here."
Rude rolled his eyes. It was the oldest sales trick in the book. He hoped Reno wouldn't fall for it.
Reno didn't give a shit about tricks. ..he just had his eyes on the instrument with a lust in them akin to the way he looked at Rude. .. .
"Am I going have to fight it for your attention?" he asked plainly, however the smile on his face made speaking plainly a little difficult, even for Rude.
He just shook his head enthusiastically. ..but that desire did not one time leave those icey jade orbs. "nope. ..though you may have a fight on your hands gettin' me outta here without it."
With another roll of his eyes, Rude just handed the sales man his credit card.
Reno threw his arms around him with multiple thank yous as the man rang the sale and announced that everything would be delivered by 5 o'clock that afternoon.
Rude nodded, taking back his plastic. He could swear he almost saw the smoke coming from the purchase of the piano. However, the look Reno gave him made it worth it.
Reno as they stepped out of the shop to pick up his cuahl and a few pet supplies had this almost beautific expression on his face. ..no, nu-huh, they were NOT going to end up like Rude and Joshua had, no way., no how. ..he was riding high on this wave of absolute joy.
Rude just shook his head, steering Reno as far away from the furniture store as he could before he decided he needed another big end purchase.
As they headed into the pet store he picked up another leash and harness and a bowl plus some food and a bed. .."Now. ..I'm ready."
A smile from Rude and they were off. "Are we picking up your cat or is he being delivered... minus his balls?"
"We're picking him up, and no, the boss hasn't shot his balls off yet. .." He chuckled.
"Yet," Rude repeated. "But when was the last time you talked to him?"
"Just before I talked to the guy about the condo." He laughs a bit. "That was when he caught them."
Rude chuckled, and within minutes they were back at the hotel.
Reno when they opened the door immediatly heard Rufus yelling for Livewire to "Get your ass out of that bathroom so I can castrate you."
Rude couldn't help it. He laughed loudly, from deep in his belly.
"Don't tell me, you caught 'em again"
Rufus' face was red. "He mounts her again, and I will kill him, Reno." Rufus spun on his own cuahl. "And you, quit putting your ass in the air like a fucking bitch in heat!"
Rude coughed lightly. "I believe she is in heat, sir."
"He's comin' with me, no more problems with that, boss." he went into the bathroom with the lead and harness he'd bough and after what sounded like scuffling and a few yowls he comes out with his own black and white striped cat on the lead, he had only a few small scratches to show for it.
Rufus caught Dark Nation's eyes, and with a glare, he pointed at the adjoining room. He was furious, but he would not take it out on her. It was Reno's damn cat's fault, anyway. He watched at she looked back at Livewire once before slowly walking into the other room.
Reno petted him as Livewire gave the tiniest of whimpers, he was only doing what cats do. ..what instinct told him to do. ..he lead him out into the car and locked him into the back as he strode back in. ..the look on Rufus' face scared him just the tiniest bit, even if it wasn't him he was mad at. ... reminders of the past, maybe?
Rufus flopped into a conveniently placed chair, his hand going to cover his face. "Kittie porn is not my idea of an amusing afternoon..." he mumbled.
"I know...he's out in the car...they'll be delivering everything soon., so he's gonna be outta your hair."
"I appreciate you breaking up him and Dark Nation," Rufus said carefully, looking just through his fingers instead of taking his hand from his face. He just wanted to get the mental image of Reno's cat on top of his out of his mind, and fast.
"Well they were just doin' what nature tells 'em, but I know you'd rather not have a litter of cuahl kittens on your hands."
"Do you remember how much of a handful she was when she was a kitten?" Rufus asked, noting that Rude's face paled at the memory. "Could you imagine between four and six of them?"
Reno had to laugh. "It'd be like having me as quadruplets?"
Rude's eyes probably couldn't get any wider as he imagined THAT.
"Worse," Rufus said.
"Not much worse'n that, sir." He was more than willing to admit he was a handful all by himself.
Rude just shook his head, nodding to Rufus before he touched Reno's elbow, their usual signal for 'it's time to go'
Reno nodded, stepping out...noting how Tseng dropped his arm around Rufus' shoulder in a comforting gesture as he did.
m
The trip back to their new condo was rather uneventful, except for the part where Livewire seemed to think he was the one who was supposed to sit in the front seat, not Reno.
As soon as he walked into the foyer he found the delivery people there, he opened the elevator, holding the door for them until they had everything loaded, and holding it for Rude as well before stepping inside with Livewire.
Rude went about directing the movers, having them just put the correct pieces of furniture into the correct rooms. He and Reno could move them around as they pleased later, after getting a better feel for things.
"You scratch that piano you won't like the results" He warned the one mover who was carrying the main part minus the legs.
Rude just sat back. He'd helped plenty of people move in the past, so he was used to people being picky about their stuff.
As soon as it was all in and he had the legs on the piano and it upright he sighed. ."We're home. ."
Rude nodded. He was still standing in the bedroom door, trying to figure out how he should lay out the room.
Reno simply went to work setting up the bed in the center of the room, they could always move it later, and he wanted to make use of it. .. they always "christaned" a new bed within 2 hours of delivery if possible. ..it was just their tradition.
Rude was already taking the sheets from their packages, and once Reno had the bed set up, he went about putting the sheets on with a near military precision.
As soon as the sheets were on Reno about tackled him onto the bed, kissing him, flush from a day that for once had actually gone right as well as the breakthrough both of them had needed so badly.
To say Rude was caught off guard would be an understatement. He'd expected something slow and gentle, like before. However, that didn't stop him from kissing Reno back with just as much passion.
Reno was kissing him fiercely speaking the words "Want you, need you." into his mouth.
All Rude could do was grunt as he pulled Reno further over him until their bodies were as matched up as they could get. He wrapped his arms around the redhead, pausing in their kisses to occassionally nip at jawling and neck.
As quickly as a cuahl in heat he had them both stripped. ..his mouth still against Rude's, then he pulled Rude upright so he could stil keep up that mouth grapple, with one arm holding onto him, with the other reaching for his warming gel in the traincase next to the bed, he prepared himself, then slid his lubed fingers along Rude gently before he rose up, staying atop him for several long moments. ..just. ..hanging there.
Rude was squirming, trying his hardest to move Reno down over him without hurting the redhead, but his lover was dodging him at every pass. Finally, after a moment of near frustration, he ground out, "Please..."
Reno obliged him, sliding home. ..he let out a hitching cry as he did, head tilting back. .."Gods. ..you feel like heaven. ."
Rude's mouth just worked silently as he grasped Reno's hips, knowing there would be bruises there, and wondering absently if his nails would leave little indentations in the redhead's skin. The thought was pushed away by a wondering if Reno would like that, but once he felt the slight twitch of Reno's muscles around him, all thoughts other than to bury himself inside his lover as quickly as possible left his mind.
OH yes, he loved being marked, but he wasn't going to let things get out of control. ..he kept up with Rude's pace easily, one hand reaching around to wrap around himself. as that special spot was brushed again and again, his jaw dropping with a soft cracking sound as it spread nealy impossibly wide. ..his breath first coming in hitching gasps and then stopping altogether as he stiffened. ..then a wail broke loose as he started breathing again with a massive release that left his muscles quivering and his limbs wobbly and jelly-like.. . .his muscles fluttering and clenching around his husband as he did.
That little flutter was something that always worked on Rude. Whether he was near or far from his climax, it didn't matter. When Reno came, Rude did.
He fell into Rude's chest with his eyes damp and his lips curved into a smile. . ."I. ..I never wanna go through the last three weeks again in my whole life. ..but I think it's really a good thing we did. ..you don't gotta hide anymore...didn't I tell you. .no matter what I found out, I was still gonna love you anyway?"
If Rude wasn't already flushed from their just ended lovemaking, he would have pinked. He was not one to admit he was wrong... unless he felt like it. And this was one of those things he preferred not to admit he was wrong about. Instead, he just nodded. A nod was significantly less incriminating than an actual verbal admission.
He held tightly for several long moments. ..happy their world was at some kind of order again. .."Never leave you. ..not ever. ..love you too much."
Rude buried his nose in Reno's hair. "Love you," he whispered, remembering that Reno mentioned he didn't say it enough. He thought that his actions said it enough, but appearantly that was another thing he was wrong about.
Reno looked up at him, then a soft smile lit his face as he ttook out a few of the music sheets that had been packed in with the piano and a pencil. ...he began jotting notes onto it, simply walking, pacing around their bedroom, tapping his mouth with the pencil and every once in a while erasing a note and writing another in its place. ..when he'd finished he stepped out to the piano he'd just purchased, setting the music on stand. .. it was a concerto. ..it started out first soft, almost tentative speaking of the beginnings, of when they'd met. ..of how afraid he had been of being rejected, of how timid he himself had been then. Then, it became quit, but the notes longer, deeper. ..speaking of his husband's quiet, restrained strength. then the two intertwined, speaking of the joining of their lives. ..before becoming stormy, loud booming notes to describe the discord their lives had become since the incident downtown. ..finally. ..a few soft, gentle tranquil chords. ..resolution. ..resealed bonds.