A series of unfortunate 'sexual' events

Right now it's time for chapter 3 and I must say that if you are the reviewers called Jade Cade and Shy you both hit the nail on the head because the characters you recommended were going to be done in this chapter anyway. Well done to you two. You get this chapter dedicated to you!

Right you know that I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh! So you can't arrest me! Ha Ha!!! That's all now read on.

Thanks to the following people:-

Jade Cade, Sami, fan patamon, Mai, Shy, SuGaR-oN-ToP, Rune-of-dragons, queen-galux, Shyan Black, bukora's girl, M.J. Shaman, Princess7, Slasher 242, Duelgirl, Kakos, Honda Katsuya, Demidevi, jonouchi-kaiba-mokie, Kikoken and whoami011 for reviewing me and also thanks to some of you for putting this story in your favourites. Thanks again and enjoy this chapter and review again.

Key:

speech: Marik talking

speech: Malik talking

speech: Bakura talking

speech: Ryou talking

Chapter Three: Ryou and Bakura

Darkness, it's everywhere. It comes when the sun, the gift of Ra, sets to make for the awaiting shadows. The pitch-black substance clings onto any presence of light and follows it for all eternity. Darkness comes in many forms including shadows, the night sky but the weirdest way of all is by the means of Egyptian items. These items have brought forward the strangest human beings known to man back from the dead and some people wished they had never come back.

He walked down the road quietly as the street lights of Domino made their captivating lights illuminate the citizens as they walked by. The lone figure continued to walk by himself thinking about the things he shared in common with his friends. The most obvious one was right behind him. Like Yugi this follower protected him through any trouble and like Ryou it was darkness. This lead to only one conclusion...the follower was none other then Malik.

Malik continued to follow the boy in front of him bearing an uncanny resemblance to himself. He had the same tanned skin, the same clothes but unlike his eyes the boy in front had eyes showing little innocence but the same feelings as a young child would. This was his light, Marik.

Marik was still walking towards his friends house as he started to notice that the presence of his dark was near him. He stopped in the spot still clenching an item in his hand as a figure bumped into his back. Marik looked towards the floor and gave a glare towards his yami.

The yami glared up and gave a fake smile towards his hikari. " Hey there Marik! what are you doing out at a time like this?" questioned the yami. Marik smiled back as he held a hand out towards Malik. "I thought you knew where I was going my yami? I told you you're not allowed to watch these sort of tapes! They influence what little mind you have left!" shouted Marik. Malik gave a pout as he grabbed hold of the offered hand and stood up. He then quickly snatched the tape in Mariks hand and held it to his chest. "Marik! You're not going to give back the tape of The Care Bears! Please don't do it!!!" pleaded the psychopath yami. Marik glared at him and grabbed the tape back, whacking Malik over the head with it in the process. "NO MALIK!! I said no Care Bears and there will be no Care Bears. I can't believe Bakura lent you this tape!" shouted the light. Malik glared back at his light and a grunt escaped his mouth. "RIGHT THAT'S IT MISTER PSYCOPATH MALIK!!! YOU ARE GOING STRAIGHT HOME RIGHT NOW MISTER! NO BUT'S OR ANYTHING YOU ARE GOING STRAIGHT BACK HOME! NOW!!!" Marik fumed. Malik squeaked at his hikari's anger and ran straight back home as Marik asked him too.

"Sheesh yami's" he sighed as he drew nearer towards a house with many varieties of rose bushes outside. This was his friends house, This was the house of Ryou and Bakura.

Marik stood outside the door as he gently placed his hand round the knocker and knocked it. He waited for a few minutes and heard no reply. Marik frowned and then tried knocking one more time. Still no reply. Marik sighed and decided to take a look in the window to see if any one was inside the house at all. When he looked he noticed that a roaring fire was burning in the fireplace with pictures of two white haired boys placed around it. One picture showed a young lad with a football shirt on bearing the emblem of three blue lions. Obviously this was the England football team emblem so this meant the picture was of none other than Ryou. (A.N: Yay go England! England's the best! Well our rugby team is but our football team I must say is actually pretty shit. Sorry 'bout the language but come on David Beckham is rubbish! Stick to good old Jonny Wilkinson! ok back to the story)

The other person could be described as a Goth. He wore nothing but black and black only. One picture showed him in a blue and white striped shirt with a blue jacket on. This showed that the only person who would wear such an outfit was Ryou's yami, Bakura.

"Wonder were they are?" asked the young sandy blonde. He was about to walk away until he heard what sounded like a pleasurable cry emit from the house. Marik smiled "Oh. Looks like they are a bit busy and it sounds interesting too." he said to himself as he looked for an open window or something to listen through. Marik had now done the same as Grandpa and Mokuba. Marik welcome to the wonderful world of eavesdropping...

Inside Ryou and Bakura's house

"Hey Ryou is this thing meant to leak this much?"

"Don't think so. Have you turned it off?"

"Well I never turned it on in the first place!"

"Don't look at me like that! I never turned it on."

"Well it seems to be releasing a lot of fluid to make it not be turned on."

"I said I never did it."

"I don't like liars Hikari!"

"So if you don't like liars why do you lie all the time then?"

"I don't lie!"

"You just did Bakura."

"Just shut up ok! Oh for the love of Ra why won't it stop dripping?"

"Well I better have a look at it then shouldn't I."

"Sure! Go ahead, check it out as much as you want."

"Fine. Let's see here!"

A bang was heard as a army of egyptian curses flowed out of the house. Marik's smile faded and turned into worry. He continued to listen anyway.

"What happened Bakura."

"You just hit my fucking head!"

"Well if you moved it out the way then I would be able to gain easy access to the desired area."

"Well sorry you snobby hikari!"

"Fine if you think you're so clever you do it instead!"

"Ryou I can't do it myself!"

"Sheesh! It's easy you stupid tombrobber. Just follow my instructions ok?"

"Fine."

"Right to start of you have to open it. That's it Bakura you're doing well."

"Oh I know what to do now. Right Ryou I want a screw right now."

"Whatever for?"

"To tighten the nut you see. If it's tight the more likely it's not going to leak everywhere."

"Fine. Have you finished yet?"

"Nope I need a screw right here, right now!"

"Ok. I'll give you one really quickly."

Marik was starting to panic a bit over the sounds that sounded like they were coming form the Kitchen. He leapt off the porch and dashed into the garden.

"Ah. That's better Ryou."

"Well it's not dripping anymore. That's a good sign."

"We will have to see about that. Right when I say so I want you to twist and turn the knob whilst I'm going to release this ok?"

"Got ya! Ready Bakura?"

"Ready! Turn it now!"

"NO STOP! I DON'T WANT TO HEAR ANYMORE!"

The white haired boys turned round and noticed that their tanned egyptian friend was banging outside the kitchen window. "Please Bakura, Ryou stop screwing it's hurting my ears!" pleaded Marik.

Ryou frowned as he replied "We were not doing anything along those lines Marik!". Marik opened his eyes and glanced inside the house "You're not?". When he looked he noticed that his two friends were around a sink. Ryou had a hand placed over a knob of a tap whilst Bakura was holding a screw whilst sitting under the sink near the pipes. Marik looked closer towards the pipe and noticed a clear liquid was dripping from the pipe...water. Ryou and Bakura were fixing a leaking tap.

"Well look at the time? It seems it's past my bedtime and i forgot to give you back your Care Bears tape. Well...erm...you see...er I best be going. See you later guys and sorry for the slight mistake I made. Bye!" Marik shouted as he sprinted out of the garden with a face as red as a tomato, dropping the video tape in the process.

"Sheesh is it me or has the world turned perverted!" Ryou asked his yami. Bakura just smiled back and a chuckle escaped his mouth. "What's funny Bakura?". The tombrobber continued to laugh "Imagine that! The Pharaoh a pervert! Even better Yugi's Grandpa or the best one yet Mokuba! Ha ha ha". Ryou placed his head in his hand and sighed.

"This just isn't my night!"

(End of Chapter)

That's the end of Chapter Three!

Thank you for reading and I hope it was as funny as the others. I am very grateful for your reviews and also for your ideas of future chapters, I will hopefully do all of them including the Grandpa/Pegasus on as well.

I need your help again: To get all these stories done I need ideas of the things the characters could be doing that makes them sound like they are doing naughty things. You can still give ideas of pairings including girl/girl, boy/girl and boy/boy ideas but please I now need your help on what they could be doing e.g. like Yami and Yugi were killing a spider and Joey and Seto were getting a pencil. Please help me!!!

That is all and the next chapter should be up on 17th December. Please review because it makes me happy.

Thankies

Yugi