A/N: Thanks to everyone that's reviewed; we would love to keep hearing what you think—the first real dip in our rollercoaster is finally here, and we need to know that you're all with us! Remember to stick around, because we promise you'll never be able to anticipate the twists and turns we have planned.

Previously:

Jackie sat alone in the darkened basement, waiting for Hyde to get home from work. Her 'I Love Lucy' reruns had long ended, but the television was still on, casting a calming glow over the room. She was broken from a dreamy silence when the basement door swung open, revealing a harried looking Kelso.

"Jackie!" he nearly yelled at her, "Thank God I beat Hyde home. He knocked up some chick and he's already proposed to her and he's just using you for sex until they get married!"

On The Run

Foreman Basement - 12:51am

May 7, 1979

Jackie's eyes widened at Kelso's words and his haggard appearance, but her first order of business was to calm him down. Patting the cushion next to her on the couch, she invited him to sit with her.

"Slow down, Michael. What are you talking about?"

"I was here…and Hyde was in there…" He pointed towards Hyde's room, "…and I heard him talking to someone, and Jackie, she's pregnant and he proposed to her I HEARD IT!" Kelso was yelling again by the end of his tirade and Jackie's eyes were wide with fear.

"Michael, you have to calm down. Who was the girl?" She was clearly trying to maintain her cool, but it was becoming more and more difficult as Kelso jittered nervously on the couch.

"I don't know, Jackie! I couldn't see her! His giant white guy 'fro was in the way!" Jackie was starting to get really irritated with him.

Grabbing the front of his shirt, Jackie shook him as she spoke. "DAMN IT MICHAEL!" She slapped him across the face, trying to shock him out of his jitters. "Tell me what you heard!" His eyes seemed to light up with a revelation as he searched his brain.

"I remember something! Hyde said you did her makeup today!"

"I didn't do anyone's makeup today," she trailed off, she let go of his shirt and flopped back on the couch, perplexed. "Except…" Jackie tilted her head as she stared hard at Kelso. "Did this girl actually say anything, Michael, or did you just hear Steven talking?"

"Huh?" Kelso asked, having drifted off while staring at the blank television screen. "Oh, she never talked. Never made a sound. But he was feeling her stomach and proposing to her." He nodded surely, not noticing when Jackie rolled her eyes.

"That must have been Miss Zeppelin, you Moron! I put makeup on the rabbit this morning, and she's pregnant." She glared at him angrily, but Kelso just looked outraged.

"Why would he propose to a rabbit, Jackie?"

"God, how can you be so stupid!" Jackie smacked him upside the head, trying to leave behind her negative thoughts about Steven. "He must have been practicing because he's so nervous. And he said he has a surprise for me! Oh my God! He's going to propose!" She started bouncing on the couch while Kelso rubbed his head.

"Geez, Jackie. Do you have to be so violent?" He pouted at her, rubbing his head, but gave up when she didn't seem to notice. "Anyways, Hyde's still using you for sex, you know. There's no way he's going to actually marry you, Jackie." She stared at him in shock.

"What the hell are you talking about Michael?"

"Come on, Jackie. He wouldn't even let you say the word 'marriage' two weeks ago; he only agreed to do it because of all the sex."

"Yeah, so?"

"Well why would he buy the cow when he could get the milk for free?" Kelso nodded at the obviousness of the point.

"First of all, I am not a cow. And second of all, he's already mostly bought me! He's obviously going to propose to me soon!" Jackie clasped her hands, still bouncing on the couch as she imagined her perfect proposal, but Kelso cut her off.

"Whatever, Jackie. I'm a guy and I know how guys work. I'm telling you, he's got no intention of going through with it; he's going to stretch the engagement out for as long as you're putting out, and then he'll dump you." Jackie just gaped at his crass assessment of her fiancé's motives.

"Michael!" she gasped. "Just because you're an irresponsible jerk doesn't mean that Steven is!" Jackie was trying hard to think well of Steven, especially after the wonderful two weeks they had had together, but Kelso's words seeped into her mind and began to play upon her insecurities.

"You honestly think that if you cut off the sex, Hyde would keep the engagement?" Her immediate answer was a solid, 'yes.' But a voice in the back of her mind that sounded suspiciously like her mother reminded her that Hyde hadn't even agreed to the engagement without extensive persuasion. He hadn't seemed happy about it until she had started acting like a slut. Could it be true that he was only trying to keep her like that? God… What if he really was planning on drawing out the engagement forever? What if cutting him off was the only way to guarantee that they got married, and soon?

Jackie looked up at Kelso, her watery eyes displaying her tremulous emotions. "Oh my God, what am I gonna do, Michael?" she asked quietly.

"I'm really sorry, Jackie," he said, suddenly feeling bad for dumping all of this on her. After all, it was only his guess. It was only what he would have done in Hyde's shoes. Wanting only to comfort his friend, Kelso wrapped his arms around her, letting her lay her face—streaked by falling tears—on his broad chest. Jackie reveled in the familiar feeling of Michael's comfort, surprised by how much manlier he felt than he had when they were dating: his chest was stronger, his arms were buffer, his voice was deeper, and put together, it lulled her into a state of relaxation.

Mere seconds later, the basement door swung open and Hyde stepped inside, his cheerful expression rapidly falling into anger. As he took in the scene in front of him, seeing his girlfriend—the one he planned to propose to in twenty hours—cuddled in the dark basement with Kelso, he could feel his heart lurch in his chest, and he responded the only way he knew how.

"What the fuck is this?" he shouted, causing Kelso to leap away from Jackie, but instead of cowering in guilt and fear as Hyde was expecting, Kelso faced him with anger.

"Ah ha! Nice turn-around, Hyde! I think you're the one who should be answering the questions around here! Do you think it's alright to just use Jackie for sex?" Hyde scowled at him, taking one menacing step forward that sent Kelso running up the stairs for safety.

Jackie and Hyde stared at each other, emotions sizzling between them in the basement, and it was a long moment before Hyde spoke.

"So this is why Kelso left work early? To rush home and play couch twister with you? And you're just…" Jackie cut him off by raising a single hand, shaking her head in disbelief of Hyde's distrust. In the silence that followed his break, Hyde flipped on the basement lights, seeing the tear tracks on her cheeks for the first time. He felt his stomach drop as he pieced together her tears with what Kelso had said, and he was starting to apologize when Jackie turned blazing eyes on him. "Jackie, I'm sorry," he started to speak, but Jackie cut him off.

"How can you accuse me of that? What have I ever done to make you think that of me? You're the one who cheated, Steven, NOT ME!"

"Look, Jackie, I said I was sorry, but you were on the couch in the dark laying all over Kelso. You know…" Hyde looked up at her, his eyes apologetic but insecure. "What was I supposed to think?"

"Yeah, Steven. I was alone on the couch with him, so I must have been getting read to screw him, right? And why are you still here, anyways? I was sitting with Michael…isn't that your cue to go fuck a nurse?" He took a step back at that, almost as though he had been hit with a physical blow.

"Come on, Jackie," his words were quiet; he clearly had no desire to continue the fight. But Jackie was upset after her conversation with Kelso; she clearly had no desire to stop.

"You think I'm just some kind of whore, don't you?" she hurled the accusation. "You're only using me like some kind of prostitute, so why wouldn't I sleep with him, right?" Her anger was palpable, and all Hyde could do was shake his head in response.

"What the hell, Jackie? I leave for work and we're fine, and when I come home you're acting like a nut job." All Hyde could think was that they should have been making up after a stupid misunderstanding, and instead he had to defend himself against bizarre allegations. "Look, baby, I'm tired, and I'm not in the mood to fight, okay. I'm sorry I yelled at you."

Jackie shook her head and smiled in disbelief. "God, I can see right through you. You're not sorry; you just want me to shut up so you can get laid tonight!"

"What the fuck are you talking about, Jackie?"

"You don't want to marry me; you're just using me!" Sadness crept into her voice as she spoke, but her eyes stayed angry, glaring at Hyde.

"Jackie," he pulled a black velvet box out of his pocket and tossed it to her, "that's a pretty hefty price to pay if all I care about is a quick fuck." Jackie's eyes widened as she caught what she knew was an engagement ring, but Michael's words kept ringing in her head.

"This doesn't mean anything. You're gonna drag our engagement out so you can get as much sex out of me as possible. Well, it's not gonna happen, Steven Hyde! I'm cutting you off until the wedding!" Hyde's eyes widened. "That's right! If Eric can do it, so can you!"

"Do I even need to remind you how Eric reacted to being cut off?" He spoke in a low, dangerous voice, filled with anger, but Jackie glared back at him with even more fury.

"Go fuck yourself, Steven, because I'm sure as hell not doing it!" Gathering up her belongings—including the ring, still in its box—she headed for the basement door, not even sparing him a backwards glace before slamming it behind her.

Defeated, Hyde sunk down onto the couch. That was sure as hell not the way any of this was supposed to go. Laying his head in his hands, Hyde thought back to the past two weeks, when Jackie had truly given herself to him. God, he had never loved her as much as he had when she had let her inhibitions go like that; it was like she had stripped off the last layer of the wall that kept her protected from him, and now she had built it back up.

Walking back to his bedroom, he pulled Miss Zeppelin out of her new cage, setting her bloated body on his chest.

"Well that pretty much sucked, huh?" She twitched her nose in what Hyde assumed was agreement.

"I had that whole damn speech planned. Told you she wouldn't care. I was even gonna get down on one knee and tell her that I love her," he sulked, tossing his head back in his pillow. "She just wanted that ring and now she's got it." Miss Z's back trembled as Hyde stroked his hand through her fur.

"I know. I really fucked up when I assumed the worst about her and Kelso. I'm always doing shit like that. But she has to know it's Kelso I don't trust, not her." Miss Z crooked her head to the side, sniffing the air around his chin.

"But what the hell was all that stuff about treating her like a whore? I've never treated her like that. What could that moron possibly have said to her to make her act like a freakin' lunatic?" A flick of an ear was his only answer.

"Yeah, I'm going to have to kick his ass extra hard tomorrow." Putting the rabbit back in her cage, Hyde fell into bed, hoping that tomorrow would give him the opportunity to pound Kelso's face into the ground and clear up this mess with Jackie.

The Hub - 3:26 pm

May 7, 1976 (the next day)

Hyde stood outside the Hub, staring through the window at Michael Kelso, just the moron he had been looking for. Angrily, he jerked the door open and stormed over to where the taller boy was playing Space Invaders and munching on French fries.

"What the hell did you say to my girlfriend!" he growled, grabbing Kelso by the collar of his shirt and turning him around before pushing him into the machine.

"N-n-othing, Hyde. I don't know what you're talking about." His tone of voice broadcast his nervousness, but he didn't seem nearly as guilty as Hyde would have expected. Rolling his eyes, Hyde frogged him anyways, sure that the blame for the fight he had with Jackie lay squarely on his friend's shoulders.

"She cut me off because of you…she's pissed off at me, acting like a fucking lunatic, and I know you had something to do with it!"

Rubbing his shoulder, Kelso responded flippantly, "Oh, yeah. Well, she was just telling me about how she thinks you're using her for sex." Hyde scowled at his friend before asking:

"And what did you say?"

"Just, you know, that you probably were. Was that not okay?" Hyde took a menacing step towards his cornered friend making Kelso cower in fear against the arcade game.

"You have five seconds to get the hell out of here before I kick your ass!" Shaking from the fear of Hyde's threat, Kelso ran out of the hang out.

With a loud sigh of resignation, Hyde picked up his friend's snack and sat down. God, it was going to be a long couple of months for him, and Hyde planned on making that time as brutal for Kelso as it was going to be for him.

Point Place Mall - 2:47pm

May 13, 1979 (six days later)

Jackie and Donna wandered together through the day's bridal expo, passing up flowers in favor of a cake tasting.

"I like the vanilla butter cream, what do you think Jackie?" Donna asked thoughtfully, sampling bites of different cakes.

"God, Donna! Can you stop talking about food for one second?"

"We're at a cake tasting, Jackie! I'm pretty sure we're supposed to talk about it." Donna rolled her eyes as Jackie huffed.

"The cake doesn't matter anyways, as long as it's decorated with me and Steven riding a pink unicorn," she trailed off dreamily. "God, you have frosting all over your mouth like some fat girl!"

Wiping a finger over her lips, Donna pulled away a tiny spot of frosting. "What the hell crawled up your ass, anyways? You've been acting like a spaz for the past week!"

"Six days, twenty hours, and," Jackie snuck a peak at her watch, "seven minutes." Jackie slumped in her chair. "That's how long it's been since Steven and I have made love! Do you have any idea what that's like!" She scoffed at Donna when the red head scowled at her. "Don't give me that look. You were with Eric…how good could it have possibly been?" She continued, unaware of the angry look her friend was shooting in her direction. "Steven was never happy unless he made me cum at least twice. And that's if we were in a hurry." Donna's anger faded at her friend's wistful look.

"So, why don't you just do it with him, then? Unless you're concerned about making the honeymoon special?" Jackie laughed out loud at that.

"Pfft. Steven would make the honeymoon special no matter what. Oh, Donna. He's just so…creative."

Donna strolled ahead of her friend, examining centerpieces and trying not to imagine Hyde's creativity. "Then why aren't you doing it with him and sparing me from this really unpleasant conversation? He bought you that damn ring, you know he's gonna marry you...why the hell are you putting yourself—and him—through this? So you had a fight…you made up, right?"

Jackie nodded, playing with the small diamond on her finger. "It's just… If I can make him wait until we're married, then I'll be sure he really wants me, you know? I already got him to set the date for July—before I cut him off, he wouldn't even discuss dates." Lost in her thoughts about summer weddings and colors, Jackie failed to notice Donna's outrage.

"God, Jackie! That's even worse than your stupid blow job plan. What happened to just loving him and being with him; why do you have to turn everything into some struggle for control? Besides, if you've already gotten him to set the date…then why don't you just stop this stupid plan?"

"Because, Donna, sex is about control. And I can't cave now! He would win! I need to have something that I can always hang over his head, you know? For our whole married life, he'll always know that I can hold out longer than he can, and therefore he'll always obey me." Jackie smiled at her logic, but Donna's outraged frown deepened.

"Mark my words, Jackie. This is going to backfire on you. Hell, my reasons for abstaining with Eric were based on a desire to make sex more special when we're married, and he can barely keep it in his pants. How do you think Hyde's gonna react?" Jackie blanched at the thought of Hyde getting his release somewhere else—from someone else—but she quickly pushed the thought aside.

"I don't want to talk about this anymore. Let's see if there's anyone here that has doves we can release at the end of the ceremony!" Jackie bounced off in search of different vendors and Donna trailed behind her, exasperated.

Foreman Basement - 8:21pm

May 19, 1979 (six days later)

Hyde jogged down the steps to the basement after hightailing it out of the Hub. The damned place was a fucking orgy of teenagers—making out here, feeling each other up there—and it had nearly driven him to homicide. Had it always been like that, he wondered, or was it just the involuntary vow of abstinence that his 100 pound fiancé had strong-armed him into that made him suddenly take notice? A few moments after closing the door behind him, Hyde stepped into his room to find the little mafioso herself leisurely sprawled—tummy down, facing away from him—across his bed, casually turning his pregnant rabbit into a streetwalker.

Jackie applied the final touch to Miss Z's make-over: a pretty pink bow tied expertly to her right ear. "There, maybe now you can teach Donna a few things about being a girl." She smiled and kissed the bunny's pink nose. "A pretty one. I've tried, but she just doesn't listen."

Choosing not to speak at this, Hyde just stood and watched Jackie, dressed in her shortest short shorts, inadvertently give him a show. Her hips twisted from side to side as she cooed at Miss Z, allowing him a perfect view of her thighs, tanned and toned, as they met up with the base of her ass. He could imagine the million times he had grabbed her there, bitten her there... fuck this shit, he thought as he snuck up and lowered himself over her, grinding his already raging erection hard against her ass. "I need you, baby," he groaned, his words muffled in her hair as he searched out the soft skin buried underneath, "Now."

Jackie squirmed beneath him, providing the necessary friction his aching hard-on needed, further fueling his intense desire for her. "Steven, stop it," she scolded, "you know you can't have me until the wedding. So why do you torture yourself?"

"Come on, Jackie," he practically shouted as she slipped out from underneath him, taking Miss Z with her, "What the fuck? This whole thing is getting stupid!"

"Is it, Steven? Is it stupid?" Jackie yelled, leaning forward in her angry stance, "Stupid like when I took you back after that nurse? Or stupid like when you assumed that I was about to screw Michael on the basement couch? Which one is it?" Hyde pursed his lips, tired of having the same shit thrown in his face, over and over, for two straight weeks. He stood up to face her and tried to mollify his own temper; a fight was not what he was looking for.

"I think maybe you should move back in with Donna," he said next, evoking the reaction he expected from her. Her eyes narrowed. "At least until the wedding—ours," he clarified.

"Why, so you can sneak a few skanks in before I put the ball and chain on you?"

Hyde shook his head and held strong against her death stare. "NO. So I can get rid of this fucking hard-on. I can't sleep next to you anymore, Jackie. It's driving me crazy."

"That is such a load of crap, Steven. I've been sleeping next to you and I'm fine."

A bold-faced lie.

"Are you? Well, I'm not," Hyde said as he stepped up to her and grabbed her hand, placing it squarely on his swollen dick, "This," he growled, low in his throat, "won't go away." Hyde paused for a moment before saying something he would later come to regret. "You absolutely sure you want to send me to a strip club with this?"

Jackie tightened her grip and twisted. "Are you threatening me, Steven?"

"NO," Hyde grumbled, ripping himself away from her grasp, "I'm not. I'm just sick of you throwing my old mistakes in my face! You've done nothing but yell at me and treat me like shit for two weeks now! What the hell happened to you, Jackie? It's like the second you got that ring, you turned into a raging bitch!"

Jackie gasped. "You have a lot of nerve..."

"And why the hell is Miss Z wearing a god damned dress?" Hyde continued, interrupting her, "I swear to god you've lost your fucking mind, woman!"

Jackie stood before him, pissed, until she had a revelation. "OH, I get it," she snarled, "You're not getting any, so you don't have to be nice to me anymore, right? Jackie's not putting out and being a slut so screw it, I can go back to being a big, fat ASSHOLE!"

Hyde remained calm in the face of her accusations. "Is that what you really think of me?"

"Yes."

"Then get out."

"Fine," she huffed, moving toward the door, "but I'm taking MY bunny with me!"

"She's not YOUR bunny," he called out moments after she left. The basement door slammed. "Damn it!"

Hyde laid back on his bed, frustrated, trying to block out the alluring scent of Jackie that clung to his goose down duvet. Looking around, he briefly wondered when his whole room had become a giant reminder of her…and when he had grown to like that. He closed his eyes, trying not to think about her and failing miserably. It had been unbearably hard to put up with her holding out, but any time he started to question it, she just brought up the nurse, and how could he argue with that? God, he knew he was a lucky SOB to still be with her after that, but it was growing difficult to remember that while she was being so cold. Briefly, he contemplated taking care of the iron rod currently making his jeans too tight, but his pride wouldn't let him jack off to images of Jackie again. Instead, he tried to remember how it felt to walk into a room and see her face light up right before he kissed her. Shaking his head to clear it of the now-depressing images, Hyde started to get ready for the bachelor party, thinking that he definitely needed some circle time first.

Foreman Basemen /Donna's room - 9:17 p.m.

HYDE, ERIC, KELSO, AND FEZ SIT IN THE CIRCLE IN THE BASEMENT, ON A SPLIT SCREEN, DONNA JACKIE, LAURIE, AND MISS Z SIT IN A CIRCLE IN DONNA'S ROOM. EVERYONE IS DRESSED UP, INCLUDING MISS Z, AND READY TO HEAD FOR THE STRIP CLUBS. WE SHIFT BACK AND FORTH BETWEEN THE TWO CIRCLES.

ERIC: (horrified) I can't believe Donna bought us a trailer. God, I hate it but I can't tell her!

DONNA: (upset) I think Eric hates the trailer. But he would never tell me. I mean, I just wanted a private place for the two of us to... you know.

HYDE: (frustrated) Oh, quit your cryin', Foreman. She just wanted the two of you to have a place all to yourselves to have honeymoon sex in: somewhere small and disappointing (he smirks)...like you.

JACKIE: Of course he hates it, Donna! It's like you told him that you think your marriage is going to be cheap, trashy, and unreliable… like Steven!

KELSO: I once banged a married chick who lived in a trailer. It was great! It was close to the ground and easy to sneak out of, except that I was always tripping over this scary looking gnome on my way out.

LAURIE: (with a ditzy smile) Yeah, I once dated a married guy who lived in a trailer. (thoughtfully) It was really easy to sneak out of, but there was always this creepy garden gnome set up right below the window that got in my way.

FEZ: (sadly) Ai. I wish I had a girlfriend to buy me a trashy trailer with a creepy gnome to do it in.

MISS Z: (munches on a carrot)

ERIC: (still worried) I know what she was trying to do, Hyde; I just don't want her to wake up in five years and realize that she could have done better!

DONNA: Oh my god, I bet he hates the trailer cause he doesn't want to have sex with me... damn it, I should have just let him do that thing!

HYDE: Come on, Foreman, that's crazy. Of course Donna's gonna realize she could've done better, (grins) but hopefully she won't realize it until after she lets you do that thing.

JACKIE: Eww! No you shouldn't have, Donna! That thing is what you need to hold over his head until he dies…or at least until you realize you can do better.

KELSO: (frustrated) Man, I wish I could get Brooke to let me do that thing. She's pregnant with my baby and I can't even get to second base!

LAURIE: Yeah, you totally should have let him do that thing, Donna. Jeez! I let a guy do it before he even gets to second base! (rolls her eyes)

FEZ: (frustrated) Ai. I wish I had a hot pregnant girlfriend to deny me boob.

MISS Z: (twitches the ear with the pink bow tied to it)

ERIC: Yeah. Hopefully, after we're married, Donna will let me do that thing. (pauses) Oh, who am I kidding? I just want her to let me do anything so I don't have to keep using my Jedi hand trick. (wiggles his hand)

DONNA: Whatever. I'm just glad we'll have somewhere private for the two of us. I'm getting really sick of going Hand Solo, if you catch my drift.

HYDE: (smirking) Yeah. I'm getting tired of buttering my own corn, too, if you know what I mean.

JACKIE: (smiling) Oh my God, Donna, I totally know what you mean. My poor, delicate hand is getting sore from frosting my own love muffin.

KELSO: (with a dumb grin) You mean investigating your crime scene?

LAURIE: (with a big smile) You mean exploring your tunnel of love?

FEZ: You mean polishing your purple headed yogurt pistol?

MISS Z: (reaches her head back and bites on her dress)

EVERYONE IS SMILING, TRYING TO MAKE EACH OTHER LAUGH

ERIC: Jacking off!

DONNA: Jilling off!

HYDE: (raises an eyebrow and nods) Strumming the one stringed banjo.

JACKIE: (proud of herself) Playing the pelvic piano!

KELSO: Putting the Kleenex kids through college!

LAURIE: (with a big smile) Tangsterbating!

FEZ: Ohh! I have another one! Shaking hands with the one-eyed milk man!

MISS Z: (sniffs the smoke and wiggles her nose)

EVERYONE IS LAUGHING HARD BY NOW.

ERIC: Spanking the monkey!

DONNA: Beating the beaver!

HYDE: Doing the five finger knuckle shuffle!

JACKIE: Ewww, Donna! That's gross! (gets excited) Dancing the two digit disco!

KELSO: (with a dopey grin) Choking the chicken!

LAURIE: (with a big, ditzy smile, obviously proud of herself) Giving the fuzzy bunny a carrot!

MISS Z: (munches on her carrot while all the girls laugh)

Chubby's Strip Club - 9:49pm

Eric's Bachelor Party

"Young Lust" by Pink Floyd plays in the background.

I am just a new boy
Stranger in this town
Where are all the good times?
Who's gonna show this stranger around?

Kelso and Fez, giddy as two perverts in a strip club, charged towards the nudity while Eric and Hyde made a beeline for the bar.

"I need some fucking Jack," Hyde grumbled as they sat down, and Eric nodded his agreement.

"What am I gonna do about Donna, Hyde? How can I marry her when I'm dooming her to a life as trailer trash?" Eric knocked his head against the wooden bar as the bartender lined up shots in front of them.

"Easy. You walk down the isle and say 'I do.' At least you'll be getting some within 48 hours. I'm looking at another two months. A very very long two months." Shaking his head in frustration, Hyde quickly pounded back six shots while Eric stared at him.

Ooooh, I need a dirty woman
Ooooh, I need a dirty girl

"Dude, it's barely been two weeks! How bad can it possibly be?"

"Bad Foreman! I don't know what you were doing with Donna, but Jackie was…God, she was up for anything. Everything. Especially lately. And then she just cut me off and started acting crazy!" He collapsed against the bar, setting his cheek on the cool surface. "Fuck." Hyde was really starting to feel the alcohol when he was startled by the sensation of long nails scratching down his back. Turning around, he found himself at eye level with large, perky breasts barely covered by sequined red cotton.

"You're a hottie!" A husky female voice rasped in his ear. "Eric, right? Your friends over there," she gestured towards Kelso and Fez, "bought you a lap dance." Hyde finally tore his eyes away from her tits long enough to see a moderately attractive blonde staring down at him.

Will some woman in this desert land
Make me feel like a real man
Take this rock and roll refugee
Oooh, baby set me free

"No, Eric's uhhh," glancing around, Hyde noticed that Eric had disappeared. "Well, I don't know where he is, but he's not me." He was about to turn back around to the bar when she started to trail her nails down his chest, scratching at his stomach.

"That's okay, baby. My shift is over anyways." Winking at him, the blonde took hold of his hand and began to pull him towards a back room, her intentions crystal clear.

"I, uh, I…" He knew he shouldn't follow her, but the alcohol coursing through his system made him unable to remember why. All his drunk, lust filled mind could remember was that he hadn't had sex in nearly two weeks, so he followed her.

Ooooh, I need a dirty woman
Ooooh, I need a dirty girl

TO BE CONTINUED…

A/N 2: Please leave us a review! Remember, anonymous reviews are accepted, so even if you've never reviewed a story before…we want to know what you think! Reviews are better than a naked Hyde washing your car!