A/N: There is no way for us to express how awesome you guys are. Those of you still with us have some serious brass balls and you guys rock. That last chapter was rough, and, alas, this one is going to be even rougher on your sweet zennie hearts. Unfortunately, we know that we will be parting ways with a few more of you after this chapter. You're probably saying, "No, not me." But yes, some of you will be pissed—royally pissed—after this chapter and more of you will decide not to come back. But we totally understand and thank you for reading up until this point. Your reviews have been great. For those of you who remain with us—thank you by the way—please remember that there will be a happy ending. But for right now, this coaster is at full speed and is approaching the first loop-de-loop…

Previously:

"He made me come so hard, Steven; he fucked me better than you ever did." Her anger and hurt masked the lie as she hurled it at him, but she instantly regretted it as his anger melted and was replaced with the cold, inhuman stare she had seen earlier that night in Eric's bedroom. In that instant, Jackie was deeply afraid of Steven Hyde, and the fear grew as he grabbed Fluffycakes from her hands, shoving her forcefully against the wall.

"NO STEVEN!" she screamed, the sound muffled as Hyde crushed the stuffed unicorn over her mouth.

The Great Gig in the Sky

Jackie looked into Hyde's eyes; they seemed cold as they stared back, but the rest of his body was hot, flushed from something: anger, lust…love, she hoped. He was close, she was pinned, and Jackie suddenly thanked God for this door and began to cry. "God, Steven, I'm so sorry, baby. I…You have to know that I didn't mean to hurt you." Hyde remained silent, his eyes dancing between hers as he leaned in just a hair while Jackie continued. "I just…it was a slip and I would…I would die if I lost you because of it." She raised her hands cautiously to smooth over his cheeks; they felt as hot as they looked, and her lips quivered with worry. "Steven, I love you. Please say something."

"I'm not mad at you," he whispered, "I just don't wanna talk about it anymore."

Jackie nodded. "Okay," she whispered back, suddenly noticing the pain in his eyes. "I'm really sorry, baby." Hyde's head fell against her shoulder and Jackie held him, soothed him, twirling and spreading her fingers through his hair, just how he liked it.

"Jackie?"

"Yeah, baby?"

"We're gonna be late for the Valentine's dance," Hyde said, lifting his head.

Jackie smiled, kissed his cheek and lightly pushed him away. "Okay, Michael. I'll go get ready."

Hyde quickly backed away from her. "What the fuck?"

"What?" Jackie asked, giving him a strange look. "Michael, what's the matter?"

"You fucking bitch." Hyde backed away further.

"Michael?"

"STOP CALLING ME THAT!"

"Hyde? Hyde? Wake up!"

Opening his eyes and letting in the painful glare of the crappy basement lighting, Hyde noticed Donna staring down at him. "Hyde, you were having a nightmare."

"No, I wasn't," he grumbled, sitting up on the couch. "I was awake."

"Yeah, right. You know, I don't know how you can sleep at a time like this!" Donna began to pace in front of him. "I mean, that dillhole left me at the freakin' alter! Or the rehearsal...You know what I mean!"

"Donna, relax. I'm sure he's just passed out drunk somewhere. He'll turn up."

"Yeah, and when he does, I'm gonna kill him! And that midget fiancé of yours! Where the hell is she anyway? How could she miss my rehearsal? God! She's my maid of freakin' honor! You know, if she was gonna sleep here last night, she could have told me! She better not be at that freakin' mall. I'll kill her!"

Kelso stood by the fridge, his orange popsicle lazily resting on his shocked lips as Donna suddenly lost it and spewed every vulgarity in the book toward her fiancé and her best friend. "Jeez, Donna."

"I think it's sexy," Fez argued from his perch on the dryer.

"…I'm gonna find her and grab her by her fucking hair and beat the hell out of her!..."

"Damn Fez, you're right," Kelso laughed.

Donna stopped cold in front of Hyde, perturbed at his rather casual attitude at the fact that his fiancé and best friend were gone, vanished, with no explanation. "Hyde, where is Jackie?"

"I already told you…I don't know!" Donna glared at him briefly before sinking onto the couch, crossing her arms in front of her chest. "Where were you two morons last night, anyways?" Hyde asked Kelso and Fez who were now seated together on she washer and dryer.

"Oh, it was fabulous," Fez began, clasping his hands together in excitement. "We went to a party with lots of nice men, and there was good beer and disco music and everyone was wearing leather." He sighed happily, "I danced all night!"

"Yeah…I'm pretty sure they invited us because they could tell we knew a lot of chicks. They didn't have any, man!" Laughing, he settled back on the washer. "The beer was good, but it was all rabbit food. You wouldn't believe how many times people offered to toss my salad."

"Oh, I am going to buy some leather pants!" Fez clapped his hands with glee. "Gary said that they would make my ass look like an oil painting."

Hyde was laughing to himself on the couch, but Donna was clearly too upset with the events of the day to pay attention to her friends.

"Would you two shut up already?" Staring down at her hands with worry, Donna looked to Hyde. "What if Eric and Jackie are in trouble?" Her face grew angry as she thought. "They better be in trouble or I'm gonna fucking kill them both!"

Kelso's ears perked up at the idea that someone was in trouble. "Don't you worry, Big D." He jumped off his seat on the washing machine. "Point Place's newest, finest detective is on the case!" Kelso stomped out the door, not noticing Donna's call from behind him.

"Kelso what are you going to do at seven o'clock at night?" Sighing and settling back into the couch, she watched as Fez crept out the door, presumably to exhaust himself with candy and porn. Turning to Hyde, Donna started to fume again. "God, your stupid fiancé left that fucking rabbit in my room, you know. It crapped everywhere, and now I'm gonna have to go clean up some more! That's just like that little wedding-rehearsal-ditching twig!"

"I'll come pick Miss Z up, Donna," Hyde offered, and was about to follow her out of the basement when the phone rang. Shrugging his shoulders, Hyde lifted the receiver. "Hello?…uh huh…yeah, we kinda figured…no, she's right here, man, do you wanna…ok…wait a what?...uh huh…bye."

Donna looked to him expectantly. "Well…?"

"Wrong number." Donna frowned at him, and Hyde's face softened. "He's gone. He says he's sorry…"

"He's sorry? He said he's fucking SORRY for abandoning me the day before our wedding? Where the hell is that twitchy little bastard anyways?"

"Uh, a Star Wars convention in Detroit." Donna glared at him as tears welled in her eyes.

"What am I gonna do, Hyde?" she asked, hugging him tightly as she sobbed.

"Hey, it's okay Donna… Let's just, uhh, get you home, ok?" Slowly he stood up with her and led her out of the basement.

8:04 (One hour later)

Eric sighed happily as he put his belt on and smiled widely at the short, curvy blonde girl in front of him.

"So what do I owe you?" he asked, reaching for his wallet while shooting her a charming smile.

"Twenty for just that…" Pausing, she turned around to retrieve an object from the ground. "Only another thirty if you want to have this baby in there." Eric stared at the item in awe.

"Is that a…" He gasped when, with a flick of her wrist and a flip of a switch, she held a bright green object under his nose.

"Light saber," she answered, turning it off.

"Oh man, that'll look great in my new utility belt. Only thirty more?" He handed her fifty dollars, secured his new belt and light saber over his loose Luke Skywalker costume, and was about to turn away from her booth at the Star Wars convention when she reached out and grabbed his hand.

"It's free to take a private tour of the Millenium Falcon, though," she winked at him, gesturing back towards the giant model in the middle of the convention floor. Eric's grin faded slightly as he thought of the wedding he had missed today…wasn't he really a single now man anyways? And the blonde girl, dressed alluringly as Princess Leia with her golden hair wound into buns, was awfully tempting. And being alone with her on the Milennium Falcon of all places was ten times more tempting. Swallowing his guilt, he shook her hand in an awkward greeting.

"Luke," he offered, wondering why he wouldn't want to give his real name. The girl seemed excited by it, though, as she introduced herself as Leia and stood to pull him towards a hidden entrance in the ship. His mind wandered as he walked, thinking mostly of Donna even while another girl grasped his hand. It took a moment for him to register that she was talking to him while playing with the light saber dangling from his belt.

"…the red version, too, at the store I work at." She smiled up at him, clearly charmed by the boy dressed as Luke Skywalker, and pulled him inside a dark room, locking the door behind them. Eric looked around in awe at the blinking lights on the false façade of the ship's controls. His face lit up with childlike glee, he ran to the captain's chair and sat down, nearly bouncing in his excitement. How many fantasies had he had about doing it in this very room…although it was usually with Donna.

'Leia' interrupted his thought by stepping in front of him and dropping her robes, and after giving him a moment to appreciate her nude body, she straddled his lap.

"Oh God, uhh," he struggled for her name, unsure of what to call her.

"Leia," she whispered in his ear, rubbing her bare breasts against his chest as she nuzzled his neck. "Luke," she looked him in the eye as she rolled her hips over his, "kiss me." With that, her lips closed over his, thrusting her tongue into his mouth as her hands slid into his loose white top. Eric let his hands slide up her torso to cup her breasts, groaning at the way her nipples hardened in his hands.

Pinciotti House

Saturday, May 20, 1979-8:12 pm

Hyde and Donna were alone next to each other on her bed, where they'd been sitting for nearly an hour, alternating between periods of contemplative silence and periods of meaningless conversation. The smoldering roach of their last joint released a stream of smoke towards the ceiling, an empty bottle of cheap whiskey was discarded on the floor, and Hyde was nursing a beer. He stared over at Jackie's perfectly made cot—where Miss Z was currently sitting, staring back at him—while Donna looked past the second bed out the window to her former fiancé's room.

"So, they both left." Donna said quietly. Hyde just nodded slowly, clearly lost in his own thoughts. "Do you think they…" Donna trailed off, blinking back tears. "Do you think they left together?"

"What, Foreman and Jackie?" he asked as though it were absurd. The thought nearly made him laugh.

"Well, he was looking at her…and…you know." Donna shuddered in disgust.

"And that means he would, what, elope with her?" Hyde shook his head, turning away from Jackie's cot to face Donna. "Come on, Donna. You have to accept that Foreman took off because he knew you weren't ready to get married. Hell, I'm more ready to get married than he was—Kitty and Red have been keeping a savings account for me, so at least I would have had some money to support me and Jackie. What does Foreman have, Donna? GI Joes and Spiderman sheets? He didn't want you to settle for him and then regret it. It was done with good intentions, and if I know Foreman, he's probably sitting on a motel bed crying like a little girl and feeling crappy about everything."

"It's just hard, you know?" she cried, wiping her eyes with the back of her hand. Her gaze fell to the shiny silver toaster on her desk, the one that they had bought together when they were just happy high school students, preparing to go to college. The one Eric had thrown the day of his birthday. "Everything reminds me of him," she whispered, holding back her tears and turning to look at Hyde.

"It'll be okay, Donna." He tried to soothe her, but offering comfort had never been his strong point…Jackie was the only person he had ever been able to open up to that way.

"How's it going to be okay when my fiancé went to a Star Wars convention instead of our wedding?" Hyde vaguely shrugged his shoulders, and Donna collapsed backwards on the bed, seeming to become interested in an object next to him. "So you really haven't seen Jackie since before the party?" she asked suspiciously, rolling so that her body almost curled into his lap. When Hyde shook his head in the negative, Donna raised her hand towards his face, holding a small diamond ring that had been on Jackie's hand less than twenty four hours ago. "You're lying. You have seen her since the bachelorette party!" She jumped up from the bed, stumbling as she turned to face him while preparing to be angry until Hyde laid his face in his hands.

"We're finished, okay, I found her with someone else. We split up…she left town. It was…bad," he mumbled, staring at the floor. Donna's anger was immediately quelled by this explanation; Hyde had been abandoned, too.

"Do you wanna talk about it?" Donna slurred the question, knowing the answer before the words came out of her mouth, but wanting to offer the comfort to her heartbroken friend all the same. A brief glare was all the answer she got, so staggered back to the bed, plopped down next to him and began to rub his back, offering her consolation. Neither was sure when the simple act of comfort became more, but soon Donna was scratching her fingernails over his back before sliding them up his neck, twirling and spreading her fingers through his hair, just how he liked it.

"Donna," he choked out, "I should really go." But before he could stand up, Donna grabbed his hand and pulled him down next to her. Burying her face in his neck, she laid gentle kisses there, feeling him relax beneath her as she straddled his lap.

"Do you think it's alright, Hyde, to do this?" Donna asked, grinding her clothed sex over him even as she seemed to be questioning it.

"I don't know, Donna," he groaned, finding it difficult to think coherently about anything while she moved on top of him.

"Please," she groaned against his neck, frantic in her need of release. "I need this," she groaned in his ear. Leaning forward, Donna captured his lips, sliding her tongue into his mouth as she ground against him. "It feels like you need this, too." As she met his eyes, he could read her desperation, and he let himself kiss back. The mingled taste of lingering smoke and burning liquor filled his senses, and she didn't break apart from him until she tugged her shirt over her head, thrusting her full breasts towards him. "Please, Hyde" she whimpered.

As Hyde stared down at her, his thoughts drifted back to three weeks ago when Jackie had been similarly distraught.

"Please, Steven," Jackie moaned as she straddled his lap, rubbing her bare chest temptingly against his Grateful Dead shirt.

"Jackie, just tell me what happened," he begged, having already asked the question a dozen times in the ten minutes since she had flown into the basement sobbing.

"My mom, she," her breath hitched at reliving the painful memory, "I told her we were getting married, and she…she told me you were trash and that she wouldn't consent. And I told her she had no say…that I don't need her consent. And she said so many awful things, Steven," breaking off in sobs again, she buried her face in his shoulder. "I told her…I told her I hated her. I told her she's a bad mother." Hyde wrapped his arms around her more tightly, knowing how hard it must have been to say that, but on the other hand, Pam would never change if someone didn't tell her she needed to. "I told her I loved you…that you took care of me when she was off being a whore."

"It's okay, baby," he whispered to her, ready to tell her that Pam would come around, when she interrupted his thoughts with the real reason she was here on his lap, begging him to take away her sadness.

"She's gone, Steven. She left...again." Hyde's body tensed with anger, and Jackie's sobs slowed, almost as though she had cried herself out.

"What can I do, Jackie?" he asked, ready to track down Pam and wring her whorey neck if it would make her feel better.

"Fuck me, Steven." She ground out, offering up her breasts to him and moaning as he took them in his hands. Without a second thought, Hyde kissed her roughly, pulling her body against his and plundering her mouth with his tongue. If fucking Jackie would take the pain away, Hyde was going to do it so she'd never think about her shitty parents again.

"God, yes, Hyde," Donna moaned happily at the sensation of his tongue sliding through her mouth. She hastily pulled his shirt over his head, rubbing herself up against him deliriously in the dark room.

"What do you want, Donna?" he asked, gritting his teeth and squeezing his fists at his sides as he tried to figure out what to do. He knew exactly what Donna wanted, and she was his friend—his hot friend—and part of him wanted to make her feel better. But a more rational part knew that Eric loved her more than life, loved her enough to hurt them both by running away, and that this would tear him apart. It knew that whatever happened with Jackie, he loved her and it wouldn't help anything to be with her best friend. And God, she was drunk and sad and there was no way they weren't going to regret this in the morning. Even with that more rational part of his brain working, though, he was finding it awfully hard to summon the strength to pull away from Donna.

"Fuck me, Hyde," Donna groaned, pulling away from his mouth to answer. His tenuous control snapped at those words, and he couldn't stop himself from raising his hands to pull off her bra and cup her bare breasts, pulling on her nipples roughly. His hands slid up from her breasts into her hair, where he grabbed fistfuls of the silky red strands, using her hair as leverage to pull her up so that she stood in front of him.

"Take off your jeans," Hyde growled, feasting on the sight of her naked curves as her pants slid down her legs, revealing panties that matched the bra lying on the floor. He remembered the days when he pined after her, when he thought she was the most perfect woman he had ever seen. In fact, he probably hadn't gotten over that feeling until the first time he had seen Jackie naked. Now, looking at her… Well, of course Donna was hot, but she wasn't the pinnacle of perfection that Hyde had always imagined her to be. For some reason, that pissed him off.

It was only a matter of seconds before Hyde had stripped off her panties and his jeans as well and pushed her face down onto the bed, driving into her tight core in one thrust.

Jackie stood in front of him, twinkle lights glowing on her naked body as she shivered under his intense gaze.

"God, baby, you're so beautiful," Hyde whispered, standing up to kiss her deeply. His hands ran over her body, toying with her nipples, tickling down her stomach, twirling in the dark hair between her thighs, before he slipped two fingers into her wetness.

"Steven, please," she moaned, obsessed with the need to be filled by him. She worked hastily to unbuckle his belt and open his fly, and her soft hands stroked him lovingly as he kicked off his jeans and boxers.

"How do you want it, baby?" he asked, loving the fact that after over a year together, she was finally comfortable enough to ask for what she wanted and to do things that she had never done before.

"Like this, please Steven," she begged, bending over and grabbing onto the edge of his cot, wiggling her bare ass towards him. Hyde groaned at the sight, coming up behind her and sliding two fingers into her core, making sure she was ready for him. Finding her wet and responsive, he guided his throbbing erection into her, slowly filling her both physically and emotionally.

"Jesus, Jackie, you feel so fucking good," he groaned as he sheathed himself entirely inside of her, leaning forward to kiss her neck as he moved.

"Harder, baby," Jackie whimpered as her orgasm built. As he complied, Jackie let loose a screech buried in the blanket on his bed, "God, Steven!"

They exploded together, screaming each other's names in the empty basement before collapsing together, wrapped around each other on the cot. Jackie buried her face in Hyde's bare chest, sighing happily as she cuddled against him.

"Everything's gonna be okay, Kitten," he murmured, holding her tightly.

"I know." As she smiled genuinely at him, Hyde felt his heart flip in his chest. "I love you." She burrowed back into his chest as a lump rose in his throat, and all he could do was hold her even more tightly.

"Fuck, Hyde," Donna moaned into her comforter as his thrusts gained speed, causing her bed to sway and squeak beneath her. He gripped her hips painfully, pulling her back against him as he thrust, forcing himself as deep as he could. His mind was filled with thoughts of Jackie, and he found himself not caring much whether Donna got off or not. When her body began to pulse around him in orgasm, Hyde once again fisted his right hand in her flowing red hair, pulling her head backwards sharply as he propelled the rest of her body forward on the bed. It was her final scream of completion and exhaustion that sent him over the edge, exploding inside of her.

They collapsed together on the bed, purposefully keeping several inches between them. They were both feeling guilty, but it was Hyde who felt the most sickened to see red and not brunette hair fanned out on the bed next to him. It wasn't until he caught his breath that he noticed Donna staring at him oddly.

"Tell me what happened with Jackie?" she asked quietly, more interested once she had taken the comfort she so desperately needed. "Did she seem, like, normal to you?"

Hyde almost laughed at that, but scowled deeply instead. "That depends what you mean by 'normal.'" Donna misunderstood his words as a comment on Jackie's irrational nature, and assumed her friend was fine.

"At least she made it home safe. You know, I was almost positive that I saw Kasey Kelso slip something in her drink; that's why I sent her home early." She shook her head with disgust, not noticing the anguished expression that crossed Hyde's face. "What happened between you two?" Hyde jumped up from the bed and began to throw on his clothes as he spoke.

"Uhh… I came to the Foreman's and found her and Kasey Kelso…together." Hyde closed his eyes in horror at the memory of them together. He could see every nuance of Jackie's expression, every ripple of Kasey's back. But she might have been drugged?

"Oh my God, that asshole really did drug her." She shook her head angrily, but seemed to think of something. "I still can't believe she slept with him, though…and, God, that you had to see! I'm so sorry, Hyde, God, what a bitch for doing that after cutting you off!"

"Yeah, uh… We fought about it and Jackie suggested that I have sex with a stripper to even things out."

"Wait, you had sex with a stripper?" Hyde couldn't tell whether she was angered or amused by that, so he just shook his head.

"Didn't get that far. Jackie changed her mind before I got more than half a blow job." The memory of what he had done with the stripper didn't mix well with the memory of being so intimate with Jackie, and he felt enraged with himself for ever going along with it, especially after what Donna had just told him.

"That's too bad," she said, making Hyde angry.

"What the fuck do you mean, 'too bad'?" He glared at her.

"Oh, come on, Hyde, she holds out on you for practically no reason and then you have to see her fuck Kasey! You should have gone through with it whether she wanted you to or not!" Donna's righteous anger for Hyde only pissed him off.

"What the fucking hell, Donna? What kind of feminist would stand there and tell me that it's a good thing to be with a stripper when I'm supposed to be engaged? Besides, you just told me she was probably drugged!"

"The fact that she was drugged doesn't make it okay turn into a fucking whore!"

"But it's okay for you to turn into a fucking whore when you have a little liquor and your boyfriend leaves town?" Hyde flung back at her, pissed off that she could talk about Jackie like that after acknowledging that she was under the influence. Thinking back, he realized that Jackie had behaved as though she wasn't entirely sure what was happening all night.

"And what about when Jackie comes back, Hyde? Didn't you make a whore out of yourself as much as I did?"

"Jackie's not coming back," he murmured darkly.

"Wh-what?" Donna asked, frightened by the ominous sound of his voice.

"She left to be with her mom." His memories took him back to the last few moments he had spent with Jackie in the motel room. He tried to process the fact that she was most likely drugged, and came to the heart-wrenching conclusion that if he had only listened to her instead of being such an ass, they might have worked things out. But after the crap he had pulled with Fluffycakes…

"I'm sure she'll be back, Hyde, you know she was never good at being alone."

"Shut the fuck up, Donna!" Hyde screamed at her. "You were supposed to be her fucking friend, but you were willing to sell her out in a second because you're a goddamned whore!" Donna looked shocked by his outburst and began pulling on her own clothes as she fumed.

"You're fucking crazy, you know that!" Donna screamed at him. "I don't have to listen to this crap! I'm going to go find Eric and try to work things out!" She zipped her jeans and turned towards him, fully dressed. "And just for the record, you're a crappy lay! I didn't want your scruffy, burnout, crazy ass back in junior year, and I don't want it now!" she screamed.

"I'm not fucking crazy," he growled. Livid beyond words, Hyde reached behind him and grabbed the toaster that Eric and Donna had fought over, and Donna screamed.

The Foreman Basement

Sunday, May 21 - 9:13pm (1 hour later)

After having searched high and low for the tall dufus, Fez flew down the outside steps into the basement, swearing he heard Kelso's voice below. "Kelso! You'll never guess what I saw Hyde…" He swung the door open and stopped cold the moment he saw Hyde's glare from the couch.

"Saw me what?"

"Hyde," Fez said guardedly, briefly glancing around the room to dreadfully conclude that they were alone. "It is you."

"Yeah, it's fucking me," Hyde said, getting up from the couch. He turned off his episode of Little House on the Prairie and stepped toward Fez. "Please go on, Fez. What is it you think you saw me do?"

Fez took a step backwards with each of Hyde's advances forward. "Where is Donna, Hyde? And Eric? And Jackie?"

Hyde's face seemed to soften slightly. "I already told you, man. I don't know where Jackie and Forman are," he explained, turning around and heading for the stairs leading to the kitchen. Hyde looked up briefly as he continued. "And as for Donna, she left to go find Forman. He called earlier; he's in Detroit."

"Yes, I know," Fez replied, his eyebrow arched in intrigue.

Hyde's eyes narrowed as he walked back toward Fez. The smell of whiskey on Hyde's breath made him extremely nervous, and was already cowering when Hyde asked his question. "And how do you know?"

"I was there, Hyde. In Donna's closet," Fez lowered his eyes, shamefully. "It's Saturday night and it's her new 'candle-lighting' night if you…know what I mean." His face suddenly distorted in anger. "But I saw you there! And you…YOU stole Eric's naughty parts you son of a bitch! And cheated on Jackie! Again!"

Swallowing hard, Hyde glowered at Fez. "You don't know what the hell you're talking about, man."

"Oh, I know, Hyde! I saw everything! You got drunk and poked her puppy-style and pulled her beautiful hair! It gave me needs. But," Fez nearly burst into tears, "you…you…"

Hyde's blood boiled as he moved toward Fez rapidly, grabbing him by his tight polyester shirt. "You're gonna wish you weren't such a pervert, Fez."

"Steven!" Kitty called out, her tiny feet trotting down the stairs as Hyde backed away from a flinching Fez. "I've got an entire Mexican buffet in my kitchen and NO ONE is here to eat it! Now, you two are going to get your fannies up those stairs before I move them for you," she yelled, her wine splashing out of its glass carelessly. "So move it, misters!"

Hyde glared at Fez and spoke in a low growl. "It was an accident, Fez. You tell anyone what happened with Donna, and you're gonna be the ground up meat in that Mexican buffet."

Fez gulped. "Well, I'll have you know that I am not Mexican," he quipped as he slipped carefully past Hyde and up the stairs.

"Whatever!" Hyde yelled, following close behind.

"And I am not frightened of dying," he heard Fez grumble to himself. "Why should I be frightened of dying?" Hyde just rolled his eyes at his weird friend, but continued up to the kitchen without comment.

The Hub

10:17pm (One hour later)

One long, strong arm holding him steady, Kelso had a small brunette—eerily similar to Jackie—happily trapped between himself and the Space Invaders console. "So, yeah, I'm about to have a baby. It's due in a month," Playing off the girl's pouting coo, Kelso sadly continued, "Yeah, the mother's dead so it's just me." A brief glare signaled the girl's hasty retreat. "What! I wasn't gonna ask you to baby-sit or anything! Damn it." He felt a tap on his shoulder and spun around.

"Kelso!" Fez wheezed, bent over in exhaustion, a single arm reaching out to his friend. "I need to tell…tell…you something."

"Man, Fez. What's the matter with you?"

"Hy...Hy…Hyde," upon the name of his curly-haired friend, Fez quickly became nervous, remembering his rather convincing threat. Fez stood upright, sat Kelso down and spoke slowly. "There is something I have to tell you, Kelso. It's about Hyde. But, I cannot tell you because he threatened to kill me if do. But," Fez smiled, "if you were to guess, then he cannot kill me, right?"

Kelso's mouth was wide open, confusion plastered all over his pretty face. "Uhhhh."

"Snap out of it, dummy! This is important!" Fez screeched, stepping back. "Now, watch." He put up three fingers and smiled.

"Yay! I love charades!" Kelso leaned forward and settled in to play. "I'm really good at this!" he added, excitedly.

Fez nodded wildly and held up his three fingers again, prompting Kelso to begin guessing. "Three words." Fez nodded and held up one finger, "First word," then slapped one finger on his arm. "One syllable." Fez nodded again and frogged Kelso angrily. "Hyde!" Fez's gesticulated excitedly, making Kelso laugh, before putting up three fingers. "Third word." Cupping his chest—indicating large breasts—Fez began to sensually lick his lips. "Donna!" Kelso yelled causing Fez to nod happily. This was going to be easier than he thought. "Yeah, cause if you had made them smaller, I woulda said Jackie." Taking in a deep breath, Fez continued on, holding up two fingers. "Second word," Kelso said. Fez cupped his ear, deciding to start at the beginning. "Sounds like." Fez dropped to the floor. "Man, what are you doing?" Throwing a dirty look in Kelso's direction, Fez covered his head. "Stop, drop and roll?" Fez shook his head wildly. "Well, why are you ducking, man?" His eyes growing wide, Fez jumped up and motioned Kelso on. "What? Stop, drop and roll?" Fez shook his head angrily and fought the urge to strangle Kelso to death. "Ducking?" Nodding violently, Fez motioned for him to continue his line of thinking. "I don't understand, man. You just ducked down." Flailing his arms, Fez kept Kelso's mind churning. "Sounds like…ducked?" He was encouraged and smiled as Fez hopped around the room.

"Hyde upchucked on Donna!"

Fed up, the short foreign boy walked over and began to strangle his lanky friend. "I already guessed Hyde!" Kelso choked out. His patience depleted, Fez broke his silence.

"How did you get this stupid!"

"I don't know!" Kelso yelled, fed up, too, as he stormed out of the Hub. Both exhausted and frustrated, Fez sat down. He was going to have to find another way to expose Hyde. "Ooh fries."

Chubby's Strip Club

Sunday, May 21, 1979 – 3:47 pm

Kelso paused before entering the club, taking a moment to smooth his shirt and proudly straighten his badge; after all, he was an officer of the law. Stepping in stealthily, he noticed that the ambience inside was much different than it had been the previous Friday evening. Lights illuminated the entire main room, there was no music and not a single patron could be seen—probably due to the stage being empty and the tap being locked, Kelso figured, using his finely honed police skills. A man behind the bar, going over time cards, greeted him suspiciously.

"Afternoon Officer. How can I help you?"

"Well," Kelso began as he swaggered over, "I have reason to believe that a young fella by the name of Eric Forman disappeared after leaving your club on the evening of May um, May… Friday night."

"Huh. Well, I'm sorry to hear that but a lot of 'fellas' came in here on Friday night so, I'm not sure how I can help you."

Kelso's brow furrowed in deep thought. "Uh, huh. Well, then I'm gonna have to personally interview all of your strippers."

"You mean the ones who were working that night?"

"No, I mean ALL of them." Upon the manager's strange look, Kelso slapped his hand menacingly over his nightstick. "Is there gonna be a problem here?"

The man remained eerily calm. "Yeah. There's only two here right now."

"Oh," Kelso said with a dumb smile, his pretense slipping. "Can I talk to them?"

"Sure. They're in back."

A boyhood fantasy fulfilled, Kelso was shown the strippers' dressing room at the far end of the club. The manager shoved his face into the cracked door. "You girls dressed?"

"Yeah, Sam. Come on in."

"We got a visitor," he added warily, opening the door.

As Kelso stepped inside, two girls stood up nervously. One in particular, a petite brunette, smiled when she got a better look at the tall man in uniform. "Hey there, Officer. What can we do to you…I mean, for you," she giggled, her eyes making a sweep over the bulge beneath his utility belt. "Wow. That's an awfully big nightstick you got there, Officer."

The blond elbowed the smaller girl's prattling form as she flirted shamelessly with Kelso. "Hey!"

A brief glare sent the smaller girl away in a huff, and the tall blond stepped forward somberly. "How can I help you Officer?"

"Oh, uh, I'm looking for a friend of mine. He," Kelso glanced around and lowered his voice, "we were here on Friday night. His name's Eric and it was his bachelor's party and we bought him a lap dance with this girl and then…"

"Oh my god! Eric! No, yeah! That was me! I remember him. He was cute, really scruffy. Hot guy. We had a little fun after."

"You and Eric?" Scruffy? Hot? Kelso had always thought Eric had a rather charming smile but never knew that chicks considered him hot, or scruffy.

"Oh yeah. He came by as I was getting off work. He had this little brunette chick with him. She was blubbering all over the place. It was pathetic."

"A brunette chick?" Kelso thought for a moment. Who the hell would Eric be hanging around with that was…"Jackie?"

"Yeah. That was her name. Jackie." Candie scoffed. "The little whore cheated on him and he just wanted to get even, the poor guy."

"Cheated on him?"

"Yeah, see, she was sleeping with his best friend, from what I gathered. And he was fuckin' pissed. So he came and got me like a smart boy," she said, smiling.

Kelso's brain was spinning like an over-worked machine, grinding and sparking, and in danger of overheating. "Okay so…Wait…I don't…"

"Look. We went to the motel across the street and I gave him a little head until the sniveling bitch starting going on and on about how much she loved him. So, I just left and that's the last I saw of him." Candie paused and waited for the dumb, confused look to leave this pig's face. It was strange though. She usually hated cops but this one seemed harmless, and a little lost. "I can show you the motel if you'd like," she added, pitying him.

"Oh, uh. Yeah," Kelso sputtered out, nearly in shock but deep in thought. So, Eric had been nailing Jackie all along? The jerking off to her, the looks, the "devil" talk, all that sexual tension—it all made sense now. Eric was pissed that Jackie was screwing Hyde and had kidnapped the poor girl to have her all to himself, abandoning Donna in the process. But why would he grab a quick blowjob before blowing town? Damn, he'd have to figure that out later. Confident in his initial assessment, Kelso gave Candie a determined look. "Take me to the scene!"

Ten minutes later…

The head clerk of the Mirage Motel opened the door to room #14, letting the stripper and the Point Place police officer inside with a snide smile. "Here you go Officer. Take your time."

"Well, thank you. I usually do." What a nice guy, Kelso thought to himself as he and Candie stepped inside. "So as I was saying," he continued, "Point Place is actually a hot-bed of illegal activities," he said almost grittily as he strutted up behind her. "Yeah, I can't even count how many times I've caught people ripping off those little pillow tags."

"What's this?" Candie said, bending down to reach under the bed. Kelso studied her ass as she pulled out a white, rainbow trimmed, unicorn.

Kelso pointed. "Hey! That's Jackie's! I gave that to her after I cheated on her!"

Candie studied the plush child's doll, thinking back to the sad, drunk girl who gripped it for dear life while crying her heart out to the man she loved—while he got blown by a stripper. Feeling the fresh sting of guilt, Candie's heart sunk when she turned FluffyCakes over to see his backside. "It's got blood on it."

Kelso leaned forward. "Where?"

"Right here," Candie pointed. "On its tail." She looked at Kelso and was taken aback by his distressed expression. "What's wrong?"

"Jackie's been missing, too," Kelso answered, "You don't think Eric would've…"

"He was really pissed," she interjected. "Really pissed."

Kelso grabbed FluffyCakes from Candie's grip and anxiously danced between the door and the stripper, unsure of his next move. "I think I gotta…I gotta…I gotta find Hyde!" Making a run for the door, Kelso stopped and turned around suavely. "So you think after the whole investigation, maybe you and me could…"

"GO!"

"Ok!" Kelso bolted from the room and headed for his cruiser, his heart racing with anticipation. How the hell was he going to tell them all—Hyde, Donna , Fez, the Forman's, random people at the Hub—about the biggest, most well-kept, secret in the history of Point Place: Skinny, twitchy Eric Forman was living a double life, moonlighting as both a stud and a psychopath—he had fooled them all.

To Be Continued

A/N2: Ok, we know this chapter probably didn't go like you were hoping…but remember, we are on a very specific, carefully planned track with exactly six chapters left, and everything happens for a reason, even icky sex between characters you didn't want to "see" doin' it.

In a story this strange, it is especially important to us that we know what all our readers are thinking, so please take a moment to let us know…anonymous reviews are accepted, and you don't have to leave any name or e-mail. Reviews are better than a naked Hyde not screwing Donna!