A series of unfortunate 'sexual' events

Yugi: Hello guys and are you ready for the next instalment of this story? Your not! Oh well I won't do it then. I'm going to let Hakiri-Nerfertiri do this authors note so over to her.

Hermione: Hello there! I'm Hakiri-Nefertiri, writer of the fan fic, Confusing Emotions..

Nefertiri: And a hand full of other works, but alas that is not important.

Hermione: No it's not, what is important at the moment is that all of us say a big Happy Birthday to our lovely author Yugi! Her birthday is on the 17th ! Happy birthday! We love ya lots and your wonderful fics!

Nefertiri: Hermione's birthday is in January as well, my Aibou is old!

Hermione: Thanks Nef, but if 17 is old to you then you my dear Yami are positively ancient!

Nefertiri: Um….. That's not important! No one wants to know how old I am! Well about that disclaimer… were we supposed to do it? Oh Well,

Disclaimer: Yugi doesn't own Yugioh, If she did the story would most likely be different, just like Hermione would make it different if she owned it, (Hermione: Yugi/Yami all the way!) and because no one here owns the characters we would like to ask that no one sue any of us!

Yugi: Thanks Hakiri-Nerfertiri for doing the authors note and also thanks to the following people for reviewing me:- Shy, Nobodynow, S.Chensu and Luff, GuardianSuri, Seishitsu, jonouchi-kaiba-mokie, Hakiri-Nefertiri, TrekieGreenieShannaraElfOfMe, Aoi Dragon, necro fan and Peaceseeker for your reviews make me happy and hyper! Hope you giys enjoy this chapter so read on peeps.

Yugi

Key

speech: Kaiba talking

speech: Téa talking

speech: Yami talking

Chapter Nine: Téa and Yami

School, that dreaded place where poor defenceless children had to go to apparently succeed in life. Pity the teachers do a shit job in helping the students. Flocks of those pitiful kids crowded the school grounds as masses of blue and pink blazers were seen around the whole area. Short kids, fat kids any kind of student went to this school including pupils who held one of the seven mystical Millennium Items, especially if their item included a free yami. (A.N: Free Yami!! I'm gonna get myself a Millennium Puzzle to get a free Yami!!! Batteries not included. Sorry adverts always say that! OK what the hell am I talking about? Just read on) This school was different from any other for this school had the richest kid alive attending it, Seto Kaiba.

A motor was heard throughout the city as a smart royal blue motorcycle roared its way along the streets. A blue trench coat was flapping with the wind that whizzed past as piercing sapphire eyes (A.N: Guess who?) scanned the area getting closer towards the school grounds. He drew nearer towards the school gates overtaking the slow cars whilst drivers stuck their fingers up at the rude boy, not knowing his true identity. Faster he drove down the road noticing a crowd of pink blazers blocked his way in. The boy growled to himself as he braked in front of the fan girls blocking him, but soon he smiled inside his helmet as he noticed that he wasn't the only one having girl problems. To his left he saw two boys with tri-coloured hair getting hugged and kissed as the taller of the pair was being groped and the shortest being pinched on the cheek whilst the girl around them squealed "He is sssssssooooooooo Cute!" as they surrounded the pair. To the riders other side he noticed the other yami and hikari pairs suffering the same problem as Bakura and Malik were cursing words that even made swear words seem normal whilst their poor defenceless lights were pinned to a wall with girls around every corner of them. The last person the rider saw made him give a chuckle. A poor blond haired dog seemed to have the most problems for he was the only boy that seemed to have been stripped of his clothes. Slowly the rider removed his helmet showing off his brown locks of hair which flowed gently with the wind. A stern smirk crossed his face as he whistled to the blond haired boy making the mutt blush. "Nice body there dog! Pity that your nice body doesn't have an equally sexy body being pressed against it." said Kaiba as Joeys face went beetroot red. All the girls around the boys stopped touching and feeling the other lads and all turned towards Seto and screamed "SSSSSEEEEEETTTTTTTOOOOO!!!" as they swarmed towards him, giving the other guys a chance to run and hide. "THANKS KAIBA!" they shouted as they left the cold-hearted CEO to the ladies.

It had seemed like hours before Kaiba had managed to escape the deadly fan girls but I the end he had to pay all of them with a kiss to make them all go away, which obviously worked. The CEO's face was covered in shades of pink and reds due to the mass amounts of lipstick marks covering his face. One thing was for sure he needed to wash it off for he had a reputation to keep up.

Slowly he walked down the corridors looking for the boys toilets but finding the majority of them were locked. (A.N: It's like the girls toilets at my school. They had to close all the female loo's due to most of them using the toilets as a smoking area so now we all suffer due to those stupid people! DON'T SMOKE!!) Every turn he took he realised that most of the toilets were either locked or had been flooded which was really starting to piss the CEO off. "This is pathetic! Why doesn't someone give the school money to pay for better teachers and toilets! Who would give them the money though? It has to be someone rich and important, but I don't know anyone who's like that? I'm poor you see!" he smiled as he walked towards the last toilets in the school available for the males. He placed his hands around the knob, turned it and...it was locked.

"FOR FUCK SAKE!!" Kaiba screamed as he rushed around the school actually feeling like he needed the toilet and not just to go there to wash his face. Soon enough Kaiba calmed down as he found the solution in front of his eye...the girls bathroom.

Slowly he placed his sweaty hands round the handle as he pushed the door open being greeted to a sight he wished he never saw. Posters covered the walls but not just any pictures oh no, this were images of the boys the girls desired most, The Yu-Gi-Oh! boys. Seto sweatdopped as he looked at the posters which were everywhere around the very perfumed room but one picture caught his attention, a picture of a group of firemen. Seto placed his briefcase on the ground as he walked towards the picture hoping it was a dream for on it was all the lads heads stuck on top of firemen's bodies. He cringed as he looked at the different poses the guys were in, Yugi was wrapped around the hose as Yami seemed to be wrapping his light up in the hose making it seem like bondage. Ryou was ontop of Bakura's lap whilst they were both positioned around the firemen's pole. Malik and Marik were in the drivers seats as Marik layed on his yami's chest whilst their foots were in the air, but the one that really disturbed Seto most was an image of him and a certain blonde haired mutt looking like they were...

The bathroom door opened as the CEO quickly dashed into a spare cubicle locking the door pissing himself with fright. 'SHIT! That was close' he thought as he pulled down his trousers doing his business listening for when the unexpected guests would leave. He listened closely pulling up his undergarments and trousers as the two voices in the room sounded familiar. 'Wait!?! What is Yami doing in the girls toilet? Along with Téa! I thought he hated the girl? Oh well looks like I will have to wait here until they disappear.' he sighed mentally as all he could do was sit there and listen, which meant sadly that Seto Kaiba was the next victim of eavesdropping. Do we pity him? No not really, he he he he.

Outside Kaiba's cubicle with Yami and Téa

"Please yami let me sort it out for you!?!"

"No Téa!! This is all Yugi's fault so he should sort it out not you!"

"Please Yami let me do it!!! It needs a women's touch!"

"Well when I see a women I'll inform you. Hey that hurt!"

"Well that's what you get for insulting Téa Gardner! So please let me do it Yami."

"Fine but be gentle with it ok!"

"I'll be as gentle as always Yami-kins!"

"So how does it look?"

"Quite bad! You have a very large one by the looks of it."

"Can it be sorted out?"

"If you keep very still and don't move a muscle you'll be fine!"

"Well then do it already. It's all yours!"

"My Pleasure!"

Sounds of leather being ripped was heard as the CEO's cool calm face was changing very quickly like he was losing a duel to his rival, Yami. To Kaiba it seemed like Téa was enjoying herself and Yami was being very submissive but anyway he continued to listen for he had no other choice due to his current predicament which was him stuck in a girls toilet and his rival getting his trumpet polished by the friendship freak. Poor Kaiba, NOT!!

"Well does it look better?"

"Well it feels better. Let me just check and make sure."

"AH, ah T-t-téa would you watch what you're poking for you're touching my ah, ah."

"Well I'll be careful then. This might prick if you move."

"I'll be as still as I CCCCCAAAAAAANNNNNNNNN!!!!!"

"Told you to keep still! I'll make it all better for you."

"Em, ah thanks Téa. Have you finished yet?"

"No I haven't! Just keep still a little longer."

"I can't if you're right in between my legs!"

"Well that's were the problem is so you'll have to deal with it!"

"This is all Yugi's fault!"

"Yep and I'm going to sort it all out for you! Ah Shit!"

"Téa what's wrong?"

"Erm I'm stuck can you release me?"

"Can't you've got a tight..."

But Yami never finished his sentence as the CEO stormed out of the cubicle and released Téa's hair out of Yami's trousers zip, revealing a hole that was around Yami's er hem region which had a needle poking out from it. Téa rubbed her head as Yami's face burned red with embarrassment both staring at the tall brunette who was also going as red as the tints in Yami's hair. "Er, let me guess...Yugi made a hole in Yami's trousers and you were sewing the hole back up?" questioned the CEO as Téa only replied with a nod. Yami looked at his rival and started to giggle with the sight before him but didn't say anything. Kaiba on the other hand snorted and replied "Well I don't believe that's true! I know you Yami and you were getting Téa to..." but Yami stopped him in mid sentence as he asked "Why Kaiba were you in the girls toilet? Maybe to get rid fo that lovely lipstick that you're wearing? Oh I wouldn't be that desperate to bed Téa!" he finished causing the CEO to grow angry. Téa giggled as well ignoring the fact Yami insulted her but laughed at the tall boy along with the Pharaoh "Yeah Kaiba that shade really suits you! Maybe you should go for the plum pink and not the crimson red." she cried. Kaiba picked up his briefcase and started to walk out of the bathroom leaving two teenagers laughing to their deaths.

"By the way Kaiba, lovely pink thong!"

(End of Chapter)

Well I hope you liked the chapter and it's the first girl/boy pairing so I hope t was ok for you. Also I thought I would be nice to Kaiba for I may hate his guts but some of you peeps out there like him so I did it just for you.

So that's all I would like to say apart from I will do f/f pairings but that will be once i've done all m/m and m/f pairings but please if you have any ideas keep them coming.

Oh yeah i've got to say this...IM OFFICIALLY 16!!! er sorry I had to say that and please review this chapter.

Once again thanks to Hakiri-Nerfertiri for doing the authors note and don't forget the next chapter is up on the 24th January and I was wondering if you wanted me from now on to tell you what couple I'm doing in the next chapter? Please say so in a review.

Thanks again!

Yugi