A/N: Thanks to everyone who has read and reviewed!
The song in this chapter is "Comfortably Numb" by Pink Floyd and we highly recommend that you find it right now on your iPod or YouTube and put it on when it starts in the story. Everyone who listens automatically gets membership to our super secret awesome happy fun time reader club.
This chapter is for Danny: His best friend, Bryten, died last week, he was thirty years old, and sweet Danny spent two hours on his radio show reading letters of dedication and playing songs for his departed childhood friend. We about cried. So, we just wanted to say sorry Danny, we love you, wherever you are.
Previously:
"They found a dead body in the reservoir and I think it might be Jackie!" With that, Kelso ran out of the room, presumably to go back to the crime scene, leaving Hyde frozen in horror.
Any Colour You Like
"You sure you wanna know, Steven? Cause I have an answer for you now."
Hyde swallowed hard. "I wanna know," he said though gritted teeth, "tell me."
Jackie was huddled against the door of the small room at The Mirage motel, clutching Fluffycakes in her trembling hands. Her engagement ring had been flung across the room, and Hyde could tell from the look in her eyes that she had given up. The Jackie that would talk incessantly and forgive him for anything was gone, replaced by this cold woman in front of him. He could plainly see that her eyes wouldn't focus no matter how hard she tried to stare at him, and the quiver in her voice gave away her lie as she yelled at him.
"He made me come so hard, Steven; he fucked me better than you ever did."
But Hyde was too angry to notice that she didn't mean it, too angry to notice that she could hardly stand on her own, too angry to notice the way she tripped over her own feet as she crouched in terror. Everything moved in slow motion as he ripped the stuffed unicorn out of her hands and shoved her against the wall. Her 'No Steven' was muffled as he crushed the toy over her mouth, knocking her head back against the door with a thud. She struggled against him, arms flailing wildly as she tried to push him away, but he was larger and stronger, and in his anger, he hardly noticed her thrashing. He knew only that she had hurt him and that now he would hurt her.
After almost a minute without oxygen, Jackie was able to summon the strength to wiggle free of the unicorn, pushing Hyde backwards towards the queen sized bed. They collapsed there together, and Hyde quickly rolled himself on top of her, trapping her limbs under his weight.
"You're a fucking whore!" he screamed in her face, his features contorted with his uncontrollable rage.
"Please, Steven, please…I love you…Please, baby…" As he hovered over her, he heard her tiny whimpers for mercy as she tried to curl on the bed, shaking with fear. For once, though, her tears had no effect on him. She had cheated on him, fucked Kasey Kelso, and destroyed all his hopes for happiness in the process. He had loved her, been prepared to marry her…
"Don't you fucking say you love me, you slut!"
Looking at Jackie's huddled form, he felt nothing but rage and disgust. He had felt a part of himself die when he heard her call out Kasey's name in the throws of orgasm, and now he was going to watch her die. With Fluffycakes still gripped in his right hand, he savagely shoved it over her face, trapping her underneath him. This time, there was no escape, and he hardly noticed when her flapping arms made contact with the bedside lamp, knocking it to the floor in a thousand shards of glass. Her movements only made him crush the toy harder into her delicate face, earning him the satisfying crunch of what he assumed was her nose breaking.
Soon, her struggles began to slow, and the once lively cheerleader lay beneath him, cold and lifeless. Lifting Fluffycakes off of her, he saw her face still frozen in horror, her mouth still open from her desperate struggle for air, her nose smashed to the side, marring her once beautiful features. Hyde watched a trickle of blood slowly make its way down the lifeless face of the only woman he had ever loved.
A cold, wet bunny nose pressed into his cheek woke Hyde from his dream, and his eyes snapped open to see Miss Z perched on his chest where she had been sitting when he fell asleep. His breathing was ragged and sweat ran down his forehead; the image of Jackie's dead body was burned into his brain. It didn't matter what Mrs. Foreman said about nightmares and stressful times, Hyde knew without a doubt that his dream told him the truth.
"I killed her," he whispered to the fluffy white rabbit on his chest. "I fucking killed her." Tears collected behind his eyelids and he made no move to brush them away as they made tracks down his face. "She's gone," he told Miss Z apologetically. Her ear, the one with a fuzzy brown pot leaf on it, twitched as he spoke, but her eyes seemed to tell him that she understood, that it was all okay. Wondering for a second if he was going crazy—taking comfort from a rabbit—he pushed the feeling aside and stroked her soft fur.
Hyde was stuck in Point Place for another day or two, waiting to see whether the body in the reservoir was indeed Jackie's. After the memory he had just had… Well, he was sure of what the police would find, and he was sure of what they would do to him. Briefly, the thought of suicide flashed through his mind; what was the point of living when Jackie was dead, anyways? He pushed away thoughts of death, though, when Miss Z squirmed on his chest, staring into his eyes hopefully. So, he had failed Jackie, the one person who had needed him, trusted him, and loved him unconditionally. He wasn't going to leave their bunny, he decided, settling himself back into the couch and stroking her silky fur. When he closed his eyes, he could almost imagine that he was stroking Jackie's hair. His thoughts were interrupted, though, when something annoyingly poked into his thigh.
Reaching into his front pocket, Hyde pulled out the small, unlabeled bottle of pills that he had confiscated from Kasey's body. He wondered what things had been like for her that night: if everything had looked strange, if she knew what she was doing, if she had been terrified of everything, if she had suffered. Before he had time to think it through, he uncapped the bottle and emptied the contents in to his hand. Eight tiny white circles rested in the palm of his hand.
"I need to know," he explained to Miss Z when she cocked her head to the side. "I need to know what it was like for her." Without further thought, he swallowed down the pills and began to stroke his bunny's soft fur again.
Thirty-four minutes later…
Taking a long drag on his joint, Hyde looked over at Miss Z and nodded gratefully. "This was a good idea. I'm really glad you thought of it." Miss Z, now sitting across from him on the coffee table, seemed to nod her head in understanding as she stared at her owner.
"I just can't believe I killed her…" He shook his head to himself, remembering Jackie's horrified face as she had cowered from him in The Mirage motel room. It felt like it had been so long without her, everything seemed so distant, and he could barely pull up the image of her face as it had been before that horrible night. Reaching into his back pocket, he pulled out the stack of pictures Fez had given him. Jackie in a sun dress. Jackie in her favorite winter coat. Jackie sitting on his lap, smiling down at him as he looked into her mismatched eyes. The love she had for him was written all over her face, and the rush of emotion he felt was suddenly too much. He was about to throw the stack onto the coffee table, next to Miss Z, when Jackie's image, her donning her favorite sun dress, began to move before his eyes. Her bright smile seemed to grow in a giggle and Hyde found himself unable to look away as she stirred again, blowing him a playful kiss while a warm summer wind lifted the dark tresses from her bare, tanned shoulders. "I love you, Steven," he heard her whisper.
"Holy Shit." Barely able to form another coherent word, Hyde turned his head, his vision trailing multi-colored, lingering threads of light before settling and eventually finding focus on Miss Z. "Did you hear her, too?" The rabbit simply stared back at him, knowingly, as if holding a secret she was unable to articulate. "You did, didn't you? I'm not crazy."
In an attempt to reel in his sobriety and suddenly regretful of his decision to overdose himself with unidentified pills, Hyde stamped out his joint on a nearby ashtray and put his head in his hands. The realization was instantaneous: he was high, and not that familiar high that weed provided; this was different. This was life suspended. Suddenly very aware of himself, Hyde curiously ran his hands down his cheeks, taking pleasure in every nuance of sensation that his fingertips were creating. It was as if every nerve-ending in his body had finally come alive, sparked by the simplest stimulus: the cool air of the basement. His entire being was ignited with tingles; even his dick was growing stiff as he sat back in his chair and grinned at his only friend. "Man, Miss Z…I can't even…Jackie must've been…" Locked in his own mind, yet more aware than ever of the world outside himself, Hyde could swear he heard music, and it was getting louder. He frowned at his pet. "I don't remember putting on Floyd."
"Hello…Hello…Hello…" Swearing he saw the rabbit's tiny pink lips move, Hyde leaned in for a closer look.
"Miss Z?"
"Is there anybody in there?" Wide eyed, Hyde sat up. Fuck, it was her; the little fur ball was actually singing to him. "Just nod if you can hear me." He gave her two quick, terrified, nods.
Tiny lips, surrounded by white fur, continued to move in a decidedly non-rabbit-like way as Hyde gawked stupidly, his horror lessening with each twitch of the bunny's nose. "Is there anyone at home?"
In complete awe, Hyde nodded again, slower this time.
"Come on, now, I hear you're feeling down," Miss Z explained as she serenaded one-half of all who loved her in the world. "Well I can ease your pain. Get you on your feet again."
"Holy shit," he muttered to himself. "Miss Z, your voice is so…deep for such a…little girl."
"Relax," Miss Z continued, "I'll need some information first."
The furry quadruped was sounding suspiciously like David Gilmore to Hyde's highly sensitive ears. "Reeeeeally deep," he elaborated.
"Just the basic facts. Can you show me where it hurts?" Figuring it rude not to answer her question, Hyde pointed to his chest and suddenly sneezed.
When he re-opened his eyes, the music was still going but Miss Z seemed to have lost her drive to sing. Or had she been singing at all? Was he crazy, Hyde wondered, or was it the drugs?
Is this what Jackie had experienced?
Looking over at Miss Z again, he saw her curling forward into herself, sticking her head between her legs as her stomach seemed to quiver. She was going to give birth soon, he knew because of the research Jackie had insisted they do. Quickly and carefully, he carried her into his bedroom and set her in the special box he and Jackie had made for her birth, leaving her there as he walked back into the basement. Thoughts of baby bunnies turned his distorted mind to Jackie's baby bunny parade and the happy wedding they might have had together. God, how he missed her. He thought that at that moment, he would have given anything just to see her one more time, just to tell her how sorry he was for everything. Returning to his chair and burying his head back in his hands to cover his despair, Hyde was suddenly interrupted when the basement door swung open.
Jackie stepped over the threshold.
There is no pain you are receding
A distant ship, smoke on the horizon.
You are only coming through in waves.
Your lips move but I can't hear what you're saying.
"Jackie…" He stared at her in awe, his eyes filling with tears again as he jumped up from his seat reached for her, needing to touch her. "I thought you were…I thought I…"
"Hyde, don't," she whispered as she backed away from him. He cringed at her used of his last name and the way she avoided his touch. Wiping away the wetness from his eyes he approached her again, determined to fix things…it seemed too good to be true that she was standing right in front of him, and he wasn't about to let this opportunity pass.
"Don't be like that, Jackie… Please… I'm so sorry for everything, baby," he whispered, his voice cracking with emotion.
Jackie just stared at him suspiciously, her eyes full of hurt and maybe anger, but all Hyde could see was the way the light glistened on her hair, the way her silk shirt hugged her body like a second skin, the way her blue and green eyes looked impossibly big as she stared up at him.
"God, Jackie…I'm so sorry, I know it wasn't your fault…" His eyes darkened as his thoughts turned to Kasey, "I took care of him." She smiled slightly at that even as tears tracked down his cheeks. "Where have you been, baby?" he asked desperately, clutching her shoulders and staring into her eyes.
"I just had to leave for a while, Steven. I was just…" Jackie trailed off, but Hyde nodded his head in understanding.
"I'm so sorry Kitten, I missed you…I missed you so much…"
When I was a child I had a fever
My hands felt just like two balloons.
Now I've got that feeling once again
Unable to help himself, Hyde pulled Jackie into his arms, hugging her tightly as if to prove to himself that she was really there. Her body seemed to fit perfectly against his, just as it always had, and he ran his hands up and down her back before pulling away to look at her face. He ran his hands across her cheeks, pink now instead of the lifeless gray they had been in his dream. Her eyes were bright and vibrant instead of dead beneath him. Her nose was perfectly formed, not crushed by his mindless rage, and he instinctively leaned down to place a kiss in the tip before raining kisses over her whole face. Her skin was so warm and soft under his lips; his nerve endings tingled with pleasure that slid down his spine and seemed to lodge in his groin.
"Oh God, baby, I missed you so much," he muttered between kisses over her eyes and cheeks, "I was so fucking scared." His eyes kept leaking tears that he didn't notice until Jackie wiped them away gently.
"You hurt me, Steven," she whispered up at him, her own eyes filling with saline. "You hurt me so much…"
"I know. I was just so angry, Jackie, I couldn't control myself…I thought…I thought you had hurt me on purpose…and I wanted to hurt you, but I was wrong…I'm sorry…"
"What's wrong with you, Steven?" She cocked her head to the side as she took in his dilated pupils and slurred speech.
"I took the stuff Kasey gave you…" He saw Jackie's eyes widen with realization, and he remembered how she had sobbed to him that she wasn't feeling right. "I'm sorry I didn't believe you. I'm so sorry, Jackie." Rubbing his lips down her cheek, Hyde whispered, "I missed you so much," once more before he seemed to remember something. "Jackie…I…I killed him. It was an accident, but…I have to leave."
I can't explain you would not understand
This is not how I am.
I have become comfortably numb.
Jackie stared up at Hyde, clearly shocked at what she was hearing. "Steven, I don't think you're thinking straight… Everything is fine, okay? Everything is alright…" Carefully, Jackie pulled Hyde into a hug, letting him continue working over her face with kisses.
His lips moved up over her forehead to nuzzle in her hair as he continued whispering his apologies. The vanilla scent of her conditioner filled his senses, and he could feel each silky strand of her brunette hair as it slid across his face. Slowly, his comforting caresses became sensual as he moved his hands over the familiar curves of her body. Her skin felt like tingling liquid heat under his hands, and he found himself unable to stop touching her.
"I missed you so fucking much," he whispered against her head.
"It's alright…I'm right here, baby," she comforted him, stroking her own small hands over his back.
Pulling back from her hair, Hyde leaned in and kissed her hard, demandingly sweeping his tongue across her lips and into the warm cavern of her mouth. Jackie seemed hesitant at first, but when Hyde's hands swept down to her butt and pulled her body flush against his, she responded enthusiastically. Wasting no time, Hyde began to lead her back to his room, his lips never leaving hers as they walked. "I need you so bad, Jackie," he moaned into her mouth almost apologetically.
Once they were safely in his bedroom, Hyde stared at Jackie in awe as the glowing twinkle lights illuminated her form. With shaking hands, he began unbuttoning her purple shirt, revealing a lacy black bra to his hungry eyes.
"God, you're so beautiful," he whispered in her ear before pushing the shirt off her shoulders and trailing kisses down her throat, nipping at her flesh as his lips slid down. "You taste so fucking good, Jackie," he mumbled against her skin, licking a path down to the pale mounds poking out of her bra.
Slowly, he led her backwards to his bed, laying her down and crawling over her as he continued to work his lips over her covered breasts, ignoring the insane desire he had to strip her naked and feel every inch of her pressed up against him. Instead, he moved slowly, carefully, enjoying the sounds of her soft moans and the way her skin felt against his hands and mouth.
"Steven," Jackie moaned deliriously beneath him, arching her back to allow him to remove her bra, revealing her creamy flesh to his gaze. Rubbing his cheeks over the soft pillows, he felt his face tingle with pleasure as her nipples hardened against him. She gasped when his lips closed over one of her nipples, sucking forcefully at the hardened nub and causing tingling sensations to spread through her chest.
As his mouth moved against her breasts, the fear and anxiety of the past week seemed to melt away, replaced by an overwhelming feeling of comfort and pleasure. "God, Jackie, I missed you so fucking much," he whispered to her, never removing his mouth from the fleshy mounds.
"I missed you, too, Steven," she told him truthfully between moans of delight at his actions. He raised his eyes to hers at that, and a fresh onslaught of joyful tears worked their way to the front of his eyes, but he held them back as he stared down at the woman in his bed.
"Come with me," he asked her quietly. When he read confusion in her face, he clarified. "I have to leave… Chicago…maybe New York. Come with me." He sensed her hesitance, and it scared him to death. "Please, baby, I need you with me."
"Of course, Steven. Of course I'll go with you…" Jackie sounded unsure and worried about what was going on with Hyde, but all he knew was that she wasn't going to leave him, that she might have even forgiven him, and he felt nothing but happiness at that thought. He pulled her into a rough kiss, claiming her mouth thoroughly as he hovered over her half naked body, before beginning the slow trek of his lips down her body, this time past her breasts and to the waistband of her jeans.
"God, baby, you're so damn sexy," he whispered to her bellybutton as his hands quickly worked down her fly and pushed layers of denim and lace down her legs, throwing them carelessly to the floor. With little preamble, he dove towards the neatly trimmed mound between her legs, leaving only a soft bite on her upper thigh as he pushed her legs apart. A long slow lick, beginning at her wet core and ending just above her clit, made her writhe and moan against his mouth, and he could feel the vibrations of her pleasure quake through his own body.
He started a complicated rhythm of circles and exes over her clit that had Jackie bucking her hips against his face, searching for her elusive release.
"Oh God, Steven, more," she moaned as her jaw clenched tightly in anticipation of what was to come. Knowing how close she was to the edge, Hyde brought one hand up to slip two fingers into her wetness. She gasped in ecstasy as he coupled his attentions on her clit with the rough massage of his fingers in her tight channel. Every movement and sound she made seemed to travel down his spine to lodge in his groin, making him even harder and more desperate for his own release. He could never remember a time when giving oral sex had given him so much pleasure.
A skillful crook of his fingers sent Jackie flying apart in her orgasm, screaming and thrashing beneath him as wave after wave of orgasm overtook her, never stopping as Hyde continued to work at her with both fingers and tongue. The feeling of her muscle spasms against him and around him was too much for Hyde's nerves, made hypersensitive by the drugs, and soon he, too, was coming hard as he held her legs apart, not stopping his movements until they were both panting harshly on the small cot.
He rested his head just above Jackie's mound, still overwhelmed by the sensations that had just overtaken his body. It had been a long time since he had come in his jeans, but he found it hard to be embarrassed as his dick pressed into the cot, still hard and aching to feel Jackie on the inside. Moving with sudden urgency, Hyde pulled off his shirt, pausing to wipe off his mouth, and then kicked off his jeans, leaving himself nude and still hovering over the girl of his dreams.
"I need you right now, Jackie," he groaned, desperately hoping that she understood. She just smiled up at him softly, spreading her knees wider in silent invitation before pulling his head towards hers for a searing kiss.
Neither one of them noticed as Miss Z gave birth to her first bald baby, pushing him gently to the side of her warm nest, made especially for her by Hyde and Jackie.
O.K.
Just a little pinprick.
There'll be no more aaaaaaaaah!
But you may feel a little sick.
Hyde slid into Jackie's heat, making slow deliberate thrusts to bury himself within her, marveling at the way her muscles seemed to grasp at him. The sensation of being inside of her after so long, especially after so many days of horror and confusion, was like coming home.
"Oh God, Jackie," he moaned loudly when he was buried completely inside of her. He might have been content to simply enjoy the feeling of being with her so intimately, but as her arms and legs wrapped around him, bringing every part of their bodies into perfect contact, he began to thrust, his whole body inflamed with the feeling of her. His jaw clenched in delicious agony, and he dropped his head to her shoulder, breathing in her vanilla scent and holding back the inevitable conclusion of his deep plunges. The feeling of being inside her was familiar and perfect, but also new and exciting because of the events of the past weeks and the drugs coursing through his bloodstream.
Can you stand up?
I do believe it's working, good.
That'll keep you going through the show
Come on it's time to go.
Jackie gasped loudly with pleasure as Hyde filled her, throwing her head back on the cot and exposing her neck to his hungry lips. "Oh, Ste-ven," she moaned deliriously as her hips moved upwards against his and her legs wrapped more tightly around him, pulling him further into her wet heat.
At the sound of his name, said with so much love, Hyde pulled his head away from Jackie's neck and stared into her eyes, trying to show her how much he cared for her.
"Jackie…" He whispered, amazed at how he could always read her emotions so clearly in her eyes. The blue and green pools seemed truly liquid under his intense gaze, constantly changing in size and even color as he watched in amazement. Unable to hold back any longer, he buried his hands in Jackie's dark brown hair, threading the silky strands through his fingers as he lowered his mouth to hers, claiming her lips as his hips began a faster, harder pace, driving them both to the brink of orgasm. "God, baby," he groaned against her mouth as she writhed beneath him, the first waves of her orgasm shuddering through her body. His eyes clenched shut with effort as his thrusts grew harder, faster, racing to completion.
It took him a moment to process that Jackie's delicious vanilla scent had faded, replaced with a disgustingly sweet, familiar floral smell. His eyes snapped open long enough to take in the long blond hair spread out over his pillow before clenching shut again in horror. When he opened them again, he was greeted by a familiar dark skinned woman.
"You still have that girlfriend?" She smirked up at him knowingly as she moved beneath him, but Hyde found that no matter how much he wanted to, the intense sensations made it impossible to pull away. Instead, he closed his eyes and thrust harder, telling himself again and again that he was high…that this was Jackie. The moans and gasps coming from underneath him were clearly the noises of that nurse, though, and he began to panic.
There is no pain you are receding
A distant ship, smoke on the horizon.
You are only coming through in waves.
Your lips move but I can't hear what you're saying.
"Jackie?" he called her name, terrified, and was reassured when her voice answered him. When he finally worked up the nerve to open his eyes, he was relieved to see silky brown hair framing Jackie's beautiful face.
"Yes, Steven… Don't stop, baby!" Her shouts were desperate and wanting, and he leaned down to kiss her fiercely as he complied.
In her own warm spot, Miss Z's second baby was huddled into the corner of the nesting box, and Miss Z continued calmly with what she knew she had to do, comforted by the sounds of her two loving parents nearby.
When I was a child
I caught a fleeting glimpse
Out of the corner of my eye.
Hyde pulled away from Jackie's lips to catch his breath and found that he had in fact been kissing a vaguely familiar blond. Closing his eyes, he prayed that when he opened them, he would see Jackie again; his prayer wasn't answered.
"Who the fuck are you?" he screamed in frustration as he tried to summon the will to pull back, but the lure of tight warmth wrapped around him like a glove was too appealing.
"Oh, Hyde, baby, you know exactly who I am…" The woman smiled up at him, and her straight, brittle hair felt like straw between his fingers. "Yeah, fuck me just like that baby," she gasped as Hyde's hips continued to slam into hers at an ever increasing rate. "Harder, baby…harder!" she cried out as she guided his hands to massage her ample chest.
He didn't want to. Everything was strange and terrifying, and all he wanted was to pull away, but his whole body was tingling and aching with the need for release. All he could manage to do was close his eyes and pound into the blond harder.
"Fuck, Hyde!" she screamed out, her orgasm overtaking her. "Look at me!"
I turned to look but it was gone
I cannot put my finger on it now
"Steven…look at me, Steven," Jackie's sweet voice cut through his nightmare, and when he opened his eyes, it was the brunette beauty who stared up at him.
"Jackie… God, baby…I don't…I think…" Jackie looked up into his dilated pupils with concern even as his hips kept a constant pace, thrusting against hers. "I need help, baby."
"My poor Steven… Everything will be alright… I love you baby," she whispered, bringing her hands up to tenderly cup his cheeks. He wanted nothing more than to be able to say it back to her, but all he could do was close his eyes and revel in the sensation of her soft hands sliding over his face. When he opened his eyes, Jackie's silky brown hair had turned blonde and her small frame was taller and broader.
"Candie?" he screeched, horrified as the familiar blonde stared up at him.
"No, I'm Jackie, baby," she smiled widely at him, her blue eyes dancing with mocking laughter.
Frantically, Hyde's eyes roamed the room, looking for some evidence of Jackie, but where her silk shirt had been thrown lay a whorey pink tube top. "No! You're not Jackie!"
His eyes wandered to the chair near the foot of his bed, now filled by a familiar older redhead.
"Edna?" he asked. "What the fuck are you doing here?"
"Watching you screw up your life, Steven. I knew you'd end up with a whore." Laughing at her only son, Edna took a long drag of the cigarette in her hand. "You always were just like your father."
"NO! I'm not like Bud… I'm with Jackie!" Hyde screamed at his mother, but she was gone as quickly as she had come, replaced by the usual pile of dirty laundry.
"You're with me, now, baby… I love you." Candie smirked up at him. "Fuck me harder, Hyde," she moaned loudly, laughing at the pained grimace that had taken over his features. "You know you don't wanna stop now, baby."
Hyde angrily complied with her demands, growing harder and rougher with each stroke, wanting to stop, but unable to pull away from the promise of release. As he slammed into her, filling his room with the sound of pained grunts and flesh slapping flesh, Candie threw her head back in pleasure as her orgasm peaked.
"Fuck, yes, Hyde!" she screamed loudly. The vision of the blond stripper where Jackie should have been drove him to rage, and he grabbed one of the fluffy pink throw pillows that Jackie had left on his cot and slammed it over the woman's face. With all evidence of his insanity covered up, Hyde continued to thrust roughly into Candie, finding it utterly impossible to stop. He pushed down harder on the pillow as the stripper struggled beneath him, and he drove into her with all the force he could manage. Finally, his body stiffened with release, and he threw his head back as he erupted inside of her.
"Jackie!" He called out the brunette's name as he came even as the blonde's thrashing ceased beneath him. Lifting the pillow off of her face, Hyde looked down at Candie's smashed features, eerily similar to Jackie's face that night in the motel. It hadn't been a dream, he knew. That had been real, and Jackie was gone. "God, Jackie," he whimpered quietly to himself as tears collected in his eyes. He rolled onto the floor, away from the dead body of the stripper, and curled into a naked ball, sobbing with fear and heartache.
The child is grown,
The dream is gone.
I have become comfortably numb.
Hyde pulled himself up from the floor, pausing to throw a few blankets over Candie's body. He reached for his jeans and began to pull them on, kicking aside the pink tube top and short shorts that lay in a heap next to the bed. He wanted to burn them; they were the confirmation that Jackie had never really come home to him. She was gone, for good, and now he wished for death, too. Maybe then he could be with her again. That's all he wanted anymore. And he might have assumed he was already dead if it weren't for the fresh stream of tears that tickled and warmed his cheeks as he stood in the middle of his cold room. Closing his eyes, Hyde pulled his Zeppelin t-shirt over his head, allowing the dizziness to consume his body without complaint. His mind still heavily under the influence, Hyde was slow to respond when his bedroom door flew open.
"Uh, Hyde, there's something…" As Hyde looked up, trails of colored light led him straight to his friend's morose faces. Both Kelso and Fez stood in his doorway, eyes full of pain, but Hyde felt numb to them, dead inside, as lifeless as the girl in his bed. He remained quiet as Kelso's brown eyes spoke to him—something was wrong. A quick glance over to Kelso's right revealed his other friend now sobbing uncontrollably; he had never seen Fez look so destroyed. The silence broken, Kelso shook his head apologetically. "Hyde, they…"
"It's her, isn't it?" Hyde choked out, already sure of the answer. But as Kelso's head fell, finally validating his fears, Hyde involuntarily erupted into sobs, never having experienced such a release, such anguish, not for anything, or anybody, ever.
His voice weak, Kelso stared at the floor while tears flowed freely down his face. "The girl they found…she was between 16 and 25, they said…five foot three…weighing about a hundred pounds…" Falling back onto his chair, where Edna had sat only minutes before, Hyde buried his head in his hands and listened in horror as pain—more proof of fucking life—masked his drug-induced intoxication. "…long, dark brown hair…pink nail polish…and her nose…" His face contorted from intense hurt, and Michael Kelso was forced to use the doorjamb to keep his body upright as he continued. "…and her nose was broken...Why...Why would you do that to her, Hyde?"
"I don't know," Hyde cried. "Fuck, I don't know."
"I'll tell you why, you son of a bitch," Fez howled, making a rush for Hyde, "Cause you're a selfish bastard!" Too slow and high to respond, Hyde could only flinch at the blow to his right cheek before Kelso intervened and yanked his foreign friend out of the room. "How could you think it was alright to hurt her like that? She loved you! I would've given anything to have her love me," Fez continued to scream outside of Hyde's room.
It was only upon Kelso's solitary return that the police officer noticed lifeless blue eyes staring at him from underneath a pink pillow, and then a delicate female hand peeking out from underneath Hyde's comforter. "What the hell?" Flipping back Hyde's covers, Kelso shook his head, beyond disappointed and saddened at the loss of one of his oldest friends. He knew that the Hyde he thought he knew was gone, far away somewhere with the young brunette who still loved him in his dreams. "Man," Kelso turned around, straightening himself up and grabbing his cuffs. "They sent me here to arrest you, Hyde. I told them you wouldn't fight me." Hyde nodded as he stared at his and Jackie's rabbit licking her babies clean, washing away all they had dreamed of together. She would have been so happy, annoying him with stories of baby bunny parades and endless discussions about bunny names. He would have given anything to hear it, to lay warm and naked with her and listen to every single word that fell from her lips. As Kelso approached him, Hyde stood up and turned around, placing his hands behind his back. Gently cuffing his best friend, Kelso nearly wept. "Steven Hyde, you're under arrest for the murder of Jacqueline Burkhart and Candace Tyler. You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to speak to an attorney…" Kelso's voice trailed off to Hyde's ears. 'For the murder of Jaqueline Burkhart' was all that resonated.
The suspect securely in custody, Kelso moved Hyde out of his room, where he found several police officers talking a sobbing Kitty and Fez. Red was nowhere to be found. They stopped in front of one of the officers, a captain, according to his stripes. "Sir," Kelso addressed the man, "I'm requesting a three day hold for him. I think he needs a psychiatric evaluation. His behavior is strange, he's nearly catatonic, and his pupils are fully dilated." Hyde stared straight ahead, unblinking and ignoring the pain of direct light in his eyes. The captain lowered his flashlight.
"He's on something."
"Still, I'm signing a three-day hold sir," Kelso insisted, knowing there was nothing his superior could do about it.
"Whatever, Officer Kelso. It's your call."
Gripping Hyde's arm, Kelso pulled him out of the basement. On his way out, Hyde chose to ignore the sorrowful sounds of his adoptive mother crying out to him. There was only so much he had left; her pain was too much to add to his already destroyed psyche. "That's all I'm doing for you, Hyde. Cause you used to be my friend," he heard Kelso whisper in his ear as he was lowered into the police cruiser.
Hyde wasn't sure how long they had been driving, maybe half an hour or so, when he had a thought. "Hey Kelso?"
"What is it, man?"
"Are they sure it's her?"
"Well, no. But I guess the body fits her description. They're just waiting for Pam to identify her. It's Jackie, Hyde." Nodding his head in understanding, Hyde leaned his head against the cold window that jailed him, watching the world pass him by in a colorful pattern of swirls and bright tracks of light. When the car stopped, blocked by a large iron gate, his vision cleared enough to focus on the foreboding gray building up on a hill. Looking over, Hyde quickly noticed a large sign with gothic block letters reading Wisconsin State Mental Hospital and sighed. Throughout his life, people had labeled him a loser, a criminal, white trash; they thought he'd end up in jail. They weren't too far off.
The pain and horror of losing Jackie and being abandoned by his friends collided with the drugs in his system, and Hyde could feel himself slowly losing consciousness, but not before a deep belly laugh seemed to bubble through his body, leaving him shaking manically in the backseat of the cruiser. He vaguely saw Kelso and the other cop look strangely back at him and then at each other before he completely passed out.
A/N 2: Reviews are better than Naked Hyde reading our fanfic to you in your bed! Let us know what you thought… Where do you think we're going with this? How freakin' pissed are you? We want to know!