A series of unfortunate 'sexual' events

Yugi: Hello everyone and here is the next chapter of my story..so this makes this one..Chapter 13. Oh yeah! I'm not alone in this authors note for I have a guest with me...yes our special guest is...

Mai: Moi...want to body shuffle?

Yugi: er hem..I said special guest...

Mai: I am special...in my own ways...Mannen and Tala should know...

Yugi: Oh for the love of Ra...SHUT UP!

Mai: YOU SHUT UP MIDGET!

Yugi: midget...MIDGET! I'LL GIVE YOU MIDGET!

Mai: Oh goodie...is it coming via e-mail or by snail mail?

Yugi: You are so dead...hmpf

Mai: Bring it on..MIDGET!

Yugi: Hmpf...Quit bitching and just do it...

Mai: 'Do it'? Hmm... which guy can I have today then?

Yugi: Any..as long as it's not Yami..

Mai: I DON'T WANT YAMI! So... any guy? Hmm... decisions decisions...

Yugi: Just have Kaiba...okay..there all done now...or how about you have..Kei..hehehehe

Mai: YOU EVIL- Ahem, bleep. I DON'T WANT THEM! YOU CAN HAVE HAYATE! Wait, I WANT HIM!

Yugi: You can have Hayate...I don't like him...

Mai: Of course you don't... that's why you go all giddy when you see him...

Yugi: Er..right ..er..hehe..time for review thanks..

LadyPhoenix99: I'm glad you worked out who the rabbits were for I would be slightly worried if someone didn't get who the rabbits were. You like my story..great..I'm happy..thankies oh and also don't worry about the three rabbits..they will be back..better hop along now..opps bad joke..thanks again.

Shorea Tashinnaku: Yeah I agree..I think Malik would throw a fit, but then again..Malik's scary enough without doing anything. Ra I hate Malik..he scares me shit..sorry about the bad language… but hey even Yami scares me...and I'm crazy over him! He scares me when he uses the orichalcos...but Bakura scares me aswell. So really I'm scared of everything..AHH! IT'S A KEYBOARD! ..EEP LETTERS ARE APPEARING ON THE MONITOR..hehehe.see..only joking. Thanks for the review and I'm glad you liked it and also that you know who the bunnies are.

Aoi Dragon: I HATE EXAMS TOO! I have me first exams this week..but it's only art and someone...hehehe...has managed to sneak some things based on a certain anime into their final picture...I'm allowed to. You thought it was funny...Ra I find it weird when people say that for really I don't find any of these chapters funny yet people always say they are..weird huh. Thanks for the review.

S.Chensu and Luff: SCORE! SHE DID IT! SHE DID IT! SHE DID IT! OH YEAH I'M THE COOLEST! er hem...sorry..I still can't believe it...you two are so hard to please..well not true..if you placed Yugi and Yami infront of Luff...she will be like a rabbit till there's no tomorrow..hehehe.sorry..it's true. Sadly you can't have a Yugi bunny for he is in a hutch right next to me and at the moment he is..well you know with another bunny just like him..guess who?..but yeah..like I was saying...I PASSED! So my spelling and grammer wasn't as bad..I'm glad...but I can still do better. The SAASA huh...cool...I'm a member of something too...I'm a member of the local mental hospital...does that count? Well anyway thanks for the review and I hope you like this chapter.

Hawk-EVB: Coffee..YUCK! I hate the stuff..sorry..as a fellow english girl..I drink tea with my pinky in the air. It's good to see a hyper person about but unlike you..I don't have to eat sugar to be hyper...I'm hyper naturally. Yes you were right about the bunnies and they will be appearing again soon...very soon. Thanks for the review.

shy: Hey I haven't heard from you for a while pal...how have you been?

I'm sorry if I embarrassed you with the hug..I hug everyone..it's fun. Yep I think you got the bunnies right and I used to have rabbits once...they were called Sandy, Pepper, Berty and Charlie..sadly they are all dead and my rabbit (sandy) died by suffocating on a fly, yet my sister and parents think it's because I didn't feed it..IT SUFFOCATED ON A FLY FOR A FED IT EVERY DAY! Well the only pet we have now is a sexually frustrated dog called Henry. Glad you liked the chapter and review again soon.

Seto's Other Sister: It sounds like you've watched too many McDonald adverts for you review sounded like one..e.g. 'I'm loving it'..sorry it just did that's all. I'm glad you like it and enjoy this chapter.

Atemu's Lover: Ahh..looks like I have a rival in love...damn. I want Yugi and Yami..Let's play rock, paper, scissors for them...right ready...WAIT! That's stupid we all know Yugi is Yami's love and so that's it. Oh well...I'll find someone else...(Mai: yeah..Hayate..hehehe) I DON'T FANCIE HAYATE! Right well I am posting soon and I hope you like this chapter as much as the last ones. Thanks!

oreosarecool: Hey thanks for the idea...I never actually thought of that pairing before...so thanks and enjoy the chapter.

Lover to Malik: I have problems? Why did you say that...oh well I get told that all the time..hey when you said that did you mean it in a bad way or good way? but you did say my story is cool so I'm happy. I listened to your plee and as you can tell..I've updated...Thanks for the review!

Lia Xaragi: Okay so in the review it stated a different name but I know it's you so yeah..I'll shut up now. I'm glad you reviewed but don't forget about the stupid tech coursework...stupid bitch of a teacher! Saying out of the blue oh yeah it's meant to be done for after the weekend. Ra I hate her! WHAT DO YOU MEAN MENTALLY DISTURBED! HOW RUDE! Bakura's only jealous for he does not hold such a wonderful body, which the Pharaoh does..Ra Yami's body rocks..wait so does Yugi's body aswell..which means Yugi and Yami's body rocks! YES! So yeah thanks for the review pal and please update your story soon..after doing your tech of course. Thanks again.

Yugi: That's all and also everyone knows I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh! so don't sue me...If I did own it..hehehe..it would be like a hentai show..well an all Yugi and Yami show..hehehe...Read and Review peeps.

Mai: Everyone latest update: It has been revealed just now at 20:35 that my dear sister Yugi does fancie Hayate from Prétear. It's official...that's Mai Valkov reporting for you ready to begin body shuffling..bye.

Yugi: It's true! I admit it..I LOVE HAYATE! that's all...

Key

speech: Joey speaking (Katsuya Jonouchi)

speech: Kaiba speaking (Seto Kaiba)

speech: Mokuba speaking

SPEECH: Bakura speaking (Yami Bakura)

speech: Malik speaking (Yami Malik/Marik)

SPEECH: Yami speaking (Yami Yugi)

Chapter Thirteen: Seto and Mokuba (It's Incest!)

Another day began as the shops welcomed the day's happy shoppers and sellers with happiness. Many weird shop names were labelled along the roads but one shop stuck out like a sore thumb... a store right near the end of the street called 'KC pet shop'.

He sat on the till alone as locks of blonde hair hang loosely in front of his hazelnut eyes, a name tag pinned to his blue jacket which clearly stated in black ink the name 'Joseph Wheeler'. Neatly he placed the magazine he was reading on the floor as he heard footsteps approach the counter, recognising them as he heard the gentle clink of metal which could only mean a certain tri-coloured haired male.
Yami stood in front of the till nervously as he placed a wooden hutch and rabbit food in front of Joey, receiving a look from the blonde haired teen as he looked at the rabbit supplies. "Hey Yams'? What's with the rabbit stuff?" the pup asked looking at the once proud Pharaoh who had has head hung low. Joey sighed and then just began to scan the items until he heard noises that were like scratching and biting. Yami looked up at Joey and then gave a weak smile as he bent down and appeared again with a brown cardboard box. "THAT SOUND YOU HEARD WAS THIS LITTLE THING..." the Pharaoh said as he lifted up the box by his feet and placing it on the counter, lifting up the lid slowly as the scratching became louder. Hazelnut eyes looked with concern as he saw the Pharaoh place his hands into the box and pull out something with black fur and long ears. Joey walked out from behind the counter and looked at the animal in Yami's arms recognising it to be a rabbit. "Aww that's so cute. A pet for Yugi by any chance?" Joey smiled whilst running his hand over the bunnies fur gently, noticing the said animal to be looking at him with amethyst eyes. "Hey Yams this rabbit looks just like Yugi. Weird huh?" the pup laughed as the Pharaoh and the rabbit sweat dropped as Yami stroked it's fur. "CAN I JUST BUY MY THINGS PLEASE AND THEN I'LL BE OFF.." the Pharaoh said with a sigh as the blonde haired teen scanned each item and Yami handed over the money. The Pharaoh picked up his new brought items and then smiled at Joey as he began to walk out of the shop.

"Hey Yams' one question...What's the rabbits name?"

The said Pharaoh turned round and smiled as he ruffled the bunnies fur. "IT'S YUGI." and so he left the shop to leave the pup all alone again. "Yugi huh? Why call a pet after someone you know?"

Minutes flew past as Joey fed the tropical fish that were in the shop. He walked towards the bird section until he heard the sound of the door being opened. "Wonder who that is?" he said as he walked towards the counter, sighing as he recognised the customers.

"See there's no one here..It's just an empty shop."

"NO I SENSE SOMEONES HERE MALIK."

Joey walked up to the Tombrobber and patted him on the back. "Can I help?" he asked. Bakura turned round and glared at the pup and then smirked "WHY YES. WE DO NEED YOUR HELP, RIGHT MALIK." he looked at the other yami but noticed he was on the floor laughing. Joey and the tombrobber blinked at the psycho yami as he rolled about on the floor in fits of laughter, rolling into a large cardboard box by Bakura's feet. "Bakura that's so funny. The pup's working in a pet shop and it happens to be Kaiba's shop." he laughed again. Joey growled low in his throat as he repeated "Can I help you?". Bakura picked up the box by his feet and slammed it onto the counter. "YES YOU CAN PUPPY DOG. WE WANT TO SELL OUR PETS." Bakura smiled as he opened the lid and pulled out a white rabbit by the scruff of it's neck and held it in front of the pet shop worker. "You want to sell that, but it's such a cute bunny." Joey smiled as he looked at the brown eyed white rabbit. "Hey I want to sell mine too!" Malik shouted as he also pulled out a rabbit from the box by it's sandy ears, but ended up getting bitten in the arm in the process. "AHH! Why you little..When I get my hands on you your dead." he glared at the sandy rabbit which had hoped into Joey's arms. Malik folded his arms, wincing slightly at the cut the rabbit made; as he glared at the animal. "Bakura I still think we should turn them into a fur coat, or maybe a pair of gloves." the psycho yami pouted as Joey moved behind the counter and took the white rabbit out of Bakura's hands. "No one has ever sold pets to us before so I'll have to see the boss about this. If you leave the rabbits with me I'll phone you with the reply." the pup smiled. Both the Tombrobber and Psycho smiled as they looked at the rabbits, which at this point were shaking in fright rapidly. "That means I will have to close shop for the phone here doesn't work." Joey smiled. "FINE, FINE WE'LL LEAVE." Bakura sighed as he grabbed the other yami and dragged him out of the door, slamming it shut after him. "Phew, I thought they would never leave." Joey sighed as he placed the rabbits back into box and switched off the lights. "Nights guys." he smiled as he walked towards a wall and pushed a button revealing a passageway. "He would they think Kaiba wouldn't install and secret passage to his office...he" Joey laughed as he walked down the path leaving the two rabbits and the other animals all alone.

He walked into the office placing his jacket onto the desk and jumping into Kaiba's large black leather swivel chair. "Nice pad Rich Boy has." he smiled as he spun around on the chair. "Were is the Spoilt Brat anyway?" Joey asked as he got up and walked towards a door which was covered in Blue Eyes images. "Man, Kaiba's obsessed with those things." he sighed as he stood before the door placing his hand on the handle. he heard voices form the other side but thought that it was best not to interrupt for he knew the CEO would not be happy so he decided to stay outside instead. "Wonder what there talking about?" the pup questioned as he leaned his ear against the door trying to listen to the conversation. "Sounds interesting." he smiled as he listened to the CEO.

There was a dog that eavesdropped, and Joey was his nameo...J-o-e-y, J-o-e-y, J-o-e-y and Joey was his nameo.

Inside the other room with Kaiba and Mokuba

"Right Mokuba as your becoming a growing young man you have to learn how to do grown up things."

"Like what big brother?"

"Well there are times in life were in certain areas things go hard and stiff."

"Oh you get that all the time Seto."

"Yes that's true Mokuba but now I've noticed your starting to get this now."

"I am...How can I get rid of it?"

"This is where I come in. I'm going to teach you how to get rid of it."

"Okay Big Brother."

"You ready then?"

"Seto does everyone get this?"

"Yes every guy does. Yugi, Tristan even Joey gets this from time to time."

"So if I do this I'm a man?"

"You could say that. I started this at your age and every time I do it I feel refreshed and anew. Trust me Mokuba you'll feel good when doing this."

"If you say so Big Brother."

"Right to begin of with grab a firm hold round it."

"Gotta."

The puppy dog blinked in confusion outside the office as he began to slowly walk backwards until he felt a tug pull him back. He noticed a leash and collar was attached to his neck. He began to struggle but when he realised he couldn't move he began to whimper. BAD DOGGY..hehehehe. (Yugi: he dog collar and leash is property of my dog Henry, please do not take otherwise he will go to the dog pound. Thanks)

"Right see that white stuff coming out."

"Yeah."

"Put it all in your hands and then spread it all over."

"All over..er okay. Hey Seto?"

"Yes?"

"Why is it only guys who get this and not girls?"

"Girls don't have one of these but they can do this in other places."

"Oh so they don't get hard?"

"No Mokuba, they don't get these like us males."

"I see. What do I do now?"

"Right start to lightly stroke it and then run it down in a smooth motion."

"Like this?"

"No your going to fast, take it nice and slow. Enjoy the moment, relax, take a few deep breaths and then stroke."

"Okay.Ow Seto."

"Do you want me to do it for you then?"

"Please Big Brother. Do it for me."

"Right hold still."

"OWW! Seto your being too hard on me."

"You have to do this some time Mokuba, think of how the ladies will enjoy this."

"Your right, keep going. Faster!"

"Mokuba it's nearly done now."

"Aww..your right it was fun."

"NNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

Both Kaiba brothers looked towards the door and Seto walked towards it. He listened and it sounded like whining. "Oh great." he sighed as he opened the door to see a blonde haired boy on the floor on all fours. "Stop it...I give okay." he pleaded. "There's a good boy." the CEO smirked as the said boy looked up and growled "Who are you calling a puppy dog, Kaiba!". Kaiba laughed at the mutt. "Why who else is tied to a leash and is wearing a collar?" he questioned. Joey snarled back "I'll kill you one day." Seto frowned and whacked Joey round the head "BAD DOGGIE!". The blonde haired boy glared at the CEO and was about to leap up at him until he saw Mokuba come out with white cream on his face. "Oh hey Joey. What are you doing here?" asked the younger Kaiba brother. "Er to see Rich Boy over here. Hey whats that on your face?" he asked. Mokuba blinked and then wiped off the remainder of the cream. "Oh it's only shaving cream. Seto was teaching me how to shave." Mokuba smiled. Joey's face paled as Seto's ice cold blue eyes twinkled with humour. "You mean you weren't. Man I've made a big mistake here." he frowned. The CEO smirked "I knew dog's didn't have good hearing." he said as he began to walk of with a smile, which soon became laughter.

Joey and Mokuba sweat dropped.

"He's...he's smiling."

"A big disasters going to happen tomorrow."

Meanwhile in the pet shop

Feet and arms poked out form the cardboard box as muffled voices came from it.

"RYOU MOVE OUT OF THE WAY!"

"I CAN'T. I'M STUCK!"

There was a pause until...

"HHHHHHHHHHEEEEEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLLLPPPPPPPPPPPP!"

(End of Chapter)

There you go I hope you enjoyed the chapter...I did..hehehehehehe

As I'm bored and I have this theme song in my head, I thought might as well play a game with it and see if anyone can guess what Anime the song came from. So good luck and the first person to get it right gets...er...the next chapter done for them with the pairing of their choice.

Good luck. (type: Japanese, type: English)

Hateshinai mirai hirogaru kono sora
The boundless future stretches across the skies
Atarashii jibun ni umare kawaru
And I am reborn anew
Sekaijuu shiawase no yuki o furasete miseru yo
I'll make the snow of happiness fall all over the world.

Unmei wa tsukamu mono kono te jiyuu ni nobaseba ii
Destiny is there to be grasped, so stretch out your hands
Kimerareta ahita wa nai
There is no tomorrow which has already been decided
Domatte ite mo wakaru ano hi deai wa guuzen janai
Even if you say nothing, I know our meeting that day was no coincidence
Tooi hitomi ni eien kanjita
I sensed eternity in your distant gaze.

Kurete yuku yuuhi ga kirei
The light of the setting sun is beautiful
Tsumetai kaze ga hikareba
If the cold wind glimmers
Anata no koe sotto kikoeteru
I can hear your voice drifting gently

Kokoro no naka hitori janai koto itai hoda
Knowing that I'm not alone in my heart
Kono mune o atsuku suru
Warms it so much that it hurts
Hajimaru ne shinjiru koto kara
It all begins from the point of believing
Kono kimochi ikiru akashi
These feelings are proof of being alive.

Hateshinai mirai hirogaru kono sora
The endless future and the expanding skies
Atarashi jibun ni umare kawaru
Allow me to be reborn anew
Sekaijuu shiawas no yuki o furasete miseru yo
I'll make the snow of happiness fall all over the world
Sono te tsunaide
Holding hands with you.

There's the theme song and also I don't own it okay, also I didn't look up any websites for the song..I actually know all that by heart. I think some of you might not of seen this anime but to make it fair here are some clues..
1) It's on our profile in our anime lists/favourites
2) First the worse (not true), Second (clue) the best
3) 'Naked guys'
That's all the clues I'm giving and don't forget first reviewer to state the correct answer gets the next chapter dedicated to them and also gets the pairing of their choice.

Good luck and see you all next chapter.