A series of unfortunate 'sexual' events
Yugi: Wow can you believe it people, I'm already on chapter 17 and do you know what else I have to tell you...I have already planned how the sequel to this story is going to go. Yes you heard...I'm doing a sequel to this story! Isn't it good? Probably not but oh well.
Right I'm going to stop going on now for I have asked someone else to write my authors note due to it's a special day for them..so it's over to S.Chensu to do my authors note for you guys. -
Chen: Hello everyone… As you can tell, my name is S. Chensu. You may know me from the free advertisement Yugi gave me in the last chapter, although it didn't do much. But nevermind! This chapter is for me, because it's my birthday today! And I'm 18! So many things I can do now… #evil laughing# But anyway, as I said, this chapter was a request by me and is a little bit different because…it's not a couple.
Audience: #Gasps#
Chen: It's a threesome.
Audience: #Mutters#
Chen: I know it's against the usual regulations but I felt like it and I knew that making Pugi write this would cause her great unease for it is possibly the worst threesome ever (in her opinion).
Audience: #Holler# Who is it then?
Chen: #Drum roll# Today's people are… The three yamis!
Audience: WHAT!
Chen: Is no one even slightly happy about it…? Come on, the three yamis are funny because they'd spend their whole time killing each other! But anyway, I'd better let Pugi get on with thanking people.
Yugi: Yeah, thanks to S.Chensu and Luff, LadyPhoenix99, SerenityMeowth, ScrewedForLife, Atemu's Lover, Yugi's Light Keeps Me Pure, mariko, Bishounen Lover, Shorea Tashinnaku, Seto's Princess, Dark Artemis, Kiko cat, A reader dum dum dum dum.
Chen: So it's bye bye from me and if you ever want a story to read, there's some on our profile page! The only thing I have left to say is thank you very much to Yugi for writing this for me! I hope you will enjoy it as much as I will! MOOHAHA!
#Evil laughing fades away#
Key
Speech: Yugi Speaking
Speech: Ryou Speaking
Speech: Marik Speaking (hikari)
Speech: Yami Speaking
Speech: Bakura Speaking
Speech: Malik Speaking (yami)
SPEECH: Tv reporter Speaking
Chapter Seventeen: Yami, Bakura and Malik (Yugi: YUCK! give me a bucket!)
It was once again a lovely Saturday in Domino as most people spent their time inside, trying to get the latest news into their heads. Many looked within books and newspapers whilst others listened to the radio, but the most common way they got news was via the TV.
Silence was heard throughout the Kame Game Shop as Grandpa Muto swept up outside the shop, his grandson being upstairs and doing what a usual kid does on a saturday morning, watch tv. Grandpa sighed as he felt his back muscles become sore for the 5th time that morning and wished that just sometimes Yugi would help for once in his life. He still continued to sweep up anyway.
Grandpa smiled as he put the last pile of leaves into the bin as he heard footsteps came up to the shop as the elderly Muto reconised the voices of the two figures approaching. One had a rich and gentle British accent whilst the other you might think he needed to wash his mouth out with a soap a bit with some of the thinks coming out of his mouth, yet these were Yugi's friends..Ryou and Marik.
Ryou arrives first with his usual smile and Marik just stood next to him, flicking a lock of sandy hair out of his eyes. "Hello Mr Muto, is Yugi here?" Ryou asked as the elderly man just pointed to the lounge window not saying a word. The two boys just nodded and went upstairs to speak to the shorter, younger and cuter Muto.
Ryou and Marik stood in the lounge doorway as they heard laughter coming from the sofa infront of the tv, on the screen, a shot of Kaiba on a stretcher being carried into an ambulance. "What in the world happned to the Rich Snob?" Marik asked as he and Ryou walked towards the sofa and sat next to the short duelist. "Hi guys!" Yugi greeted in his usual happy, hyper voice. Ryou smiled at him as he gazed at the televsion as the reporter began to speak.
"TODAY'S TOP STORY! CEO SETO KAIBA HAS BEEN TAKEN TO HOSPITAL AFTER BEING FOUND IN A CAR THAT HAD BEEN DRIVEN INTO A DITCH AND HE IS SUFFERING INJURIES AND ALSO SLIGHT MENTAL PROBLEMS. AN EYEWITNESS CLAIMED THAT THE BABY PINK CAR WAS DIVEN BY WHAT APPEARS TO BE A FEMALE SINGING ALONG TO THE SCISSOR SISTERS..."
The three boys blinked in unison as the silence was broken by the tan egyptian.
"Pink!"
"Female!"
"Scissor Sisters!"
All three boys shuddered at those thoughts and turned back to the t.v for more information in Seto's Crash.
"POLICE HAVE TREATED THIS INCIDENT AS A CASE OF BAD DRIVING AND WILL NOT PRESS CHARGES AGAINST THE DRIVER. NOW...THE LOTTERY NUMBERS!"
Ryou sweatdropped as Yugi got up and turned the TV off and was trying to surpress a giggle. Marik on the other hand just snorted and waved his hand about, "Hmpf, Good Ridens! stupid Rich Brat! That's why you never get in a car with a female.". Ryou nodded his head in agreement, "Especally if the car is pink, what bad taste they have!". Yugi sighed and flopped back onto the sofa, placing his legs over Ryou and Marik's laps. "Don't complain guys, Seto's in hospital..why should we care!" Yugi smirked. Ryou and Marik blinked at the tri-coloured haired youth in shock, "That's a bit cold for you to say isn't it Yugi?" Ryou questioned as Marik only gave a thumbs up. "Go Yugi! Looks like Yami's badass atittude is growing on you." Yugi only rolled his eyes and walked towards the window. "Er Yugi have you seen our Yami's?" questioned Ryou as Yugi faced him nodding as he glanced at Marik, who was currently helping himself to Yugi's sweet supply. "Yes Ryou, the're here and Marik..Get Off My Sweets!" pouted the short boy. Marik dropped the sweets on the floor and stood up next to Ryou. "So were is my Yami?" asked Marik as Ryou spoke afterwards, "Yeah..I haven't seen or heard Bakura since I've been here?". Yugi smiled at the other two and walked towards the hallway, "The're both with Yami in the kitchen.". Time stopped as the other two hikari's faces paled a deathly white colour as the rushed up to Yugi and grabbed hold of him. "Yugi you're kidding right! Bakura, Malik and Yami in the same room..all alone...without any of us in there." Ryou panicked as Yugi nodded. "It's ok Ryou, they only asked if they could speak with him that's all."
"That's what they always say!"
Both turned to face the tanned lad, as his brows knotted together in frustration. "Yugi don't you remember when all the Yami's came round my house? It was all quiet and then next came shouting and banging, the next thing we knew..all 3 of them came out flashing off their own 34FF breasts! That is not normal! The're males and then they started out on us next! Even worse I liked Malik with breasts!" Marik fumed as the other two sweatdropped at the thought. "And don't you forget what happened when they were all in my house, They turned us into rabbits! You even ended up in hospital after all that Yugi, and even worse..I still have cravings for carrots now and then!" Ryou moaned as he pulled a carrot from his pocket and nibbled on it, "I see what you mean Ryou.". Yugi sighed as he walked towards the kitchen, the other two following him "But come on the're with my Yami and in my house, what could possibly go wrong?".
Silence
That's all that was heard as the three hikari's waited for any noise of their Yami's to be heard.
"Nothing? I hear nothing..." Marik whispered.
"How can you hear nothing, the're arguing and killing each other! Right?" Ryou asked with a hint of worry.
"No, it's defently silent." Yugi gulped as they all walked towrds the kitchen. "Ok, now something has to be up...they are never quiet if the're all together!". All three hikari's stood outside the door, sweat trickling down their faces. "Ryou you open the door." Marik asked nervously, Ryou only shaking his head rapidly as a 'NO!'. "Shush you two, I can hear something...". All three of them pinned their ears to the wall as they could hear the voices of their three yami's, Bakura, Yami and Malik. (A.N: I only watch the dubbed episodes so I call the hikari Marik and the yami Malik ok..don't moan at me about it! That's all) "Maybe it would be better if we just leave them to it." Ryou asked, trying to tip toe away but getting pulled back by Marik. "No way pal, This is getting intresting." Marik smiled as Yugi nodded in agreement. "Yeah Ryou, come on let's listen." Yugi said, in an almost hypnotised state. "Okay, let's listen then." Ryou layed against the wall, all three hikari's trapped in eavesdropping. See even with 3 people they all still get caught in the craze of eavesdropping like a moth drawn to a flame. Oh well...let the fun commence.
In the Kitchen with Yami, Bakura and Malik.
(A.N: You might get confused who's speaking due to it's 3 of them this time so here is a recap. Yami Speech, Bakura Speech and Malik Speech. Enjoy!)
"What do you two think your doing here?"
"Hey we've come here to see our precous Yami-Kins!"
"And nothing is more important then our dear Yami-Kins!"
"Quite..."
"Ahh once again, he's going to start on how imporatnt and mighty he is!"
"Am Not!"
"Actually you are going to, see that's just you Yami, but when you're with us. You will always be second best, well third best!"
"Yeah because I'm the best out of all of us, Malik is second and your below us like usual."
"The only thing you would come first in is on how big your ego is."
"And we know something of yours that is big and would come first place as well Pharaoh."
"What does Yami have that's bigger then me?"
"That."
"Oh that, well you do kinda have a point there. Yami certainly does have that big!"
"Immature little kids."
"Yes. So what you doing Yami, old pal, old chum."
"Thinking of ways to kill you two."
"Aww don't be so mean, Haven't you heard the saying. 'Make Love not war.'"
"He's heard it plenty of times, especially when we're around!"
"Have you guys heard of the saying, 'Fuck Off!'?"
"Ouch."
"Hey calm down big boy, we just wanted to talk and help you."
"Yeah, and pigs can fly. Fine you can stay..just stay out of my way."
"Ok, may be a bit hard to do so, especially as your not as small as you think you are."
"Just shut up!"
"Sheesh, I swear...he's getting excited having us around."
"No I'm actually frustrated."
"He that's good! I am too!"
"Me too, you know what that means?"
"That are terms of frustation are completey different?"
"Oh.."
"Look let me just do this ok."
"Ok, oh what big breats you have there Yami?Malik have a look at these babies!"
"Whoa, who are they for?"
"It's for the hikari's ok. Now shut up. Go fiddle around somewere else."
"How come the hikari's get your breasts? No fair..."
"Oh well, you heard what the Pharaoh said. We get to fiddle around."
"I'm game!"
"Oh great..."
The three hikari's looked at each other and Marik just stood, his jaw dropped. "Nothing wrong so far?" Ryou whispered, "Come on let's just go.". Marik nodded but both were grabbed by Yugi. "No, this is getting good!" Yugi winned as his eyes almost seemed galzed over. "Ok. I swear though Yugi you have lost it.". And so they continued to listen.
"Hey Yami is this yours?"
"Huh what, Hey hands off that!"
"Aww come on Yami, looks pretty happy to see us. see it's red already!"
"No it is not happy to see you! It's normally red."
"Really! Hmm..wonder what it feels like?"
"Just don't be to rough on it please! Yugi will kill me if anything happens to his precious."
"We won't hurt it, all we're going to do is poke it, stroke it and then taste it."
"Yeah see we're not doing much to the little thing."
"Don't taste it! Fine you have your fun and I'll stand here and do this."
"Okay, Malik you grab it and I'll do the rest!"
"OWW...damn that hurt!"
"What, what hurt? Oh no Yami-Kins is bleeding!"
"What oh no, it's ok Yami you obviously haven't ever done anything of that sort with a knife before."
"No I haven't and it hurts! I'm going to cry!"
"Oh please don't do that Yami, there it's okay. You have me and Bakura to make you all happy again."
"Yeah but we must make sure to never allow you to be with knifes again, it's easy to see that you are not ready for that kind of thing yet."
"Guess your right..."
"Oh great, Pharaoh's goig to whine about everything now."
"Shut up! Why cant it be like the good ol' days..I was important and like right up there..but now..im down at the bottom again."
"Hey you've always been below me Pharaoh."
"And then Bakura is always below me. That's how life works."
"Guess your right.."
"Cheer up! Come on..play with us Yami!"
"Yeah, It's always fun to do!"
"Me..play with you guys?"
"I think that's what we just said. I'm always playing with Bakura!"
"Yeah it's fun! Trust us on the Pharaoh. Come we were ging to fiddle with that red thing there."
"Ok."
"Oh but one thing, you ahve to do what me and Bakura say ok Pharaoh!"
"Yep, we're your masters now."
"Fine."
"Right see that thing, just flopping there."
"Where?"
"The thing in my hands at the moment."
"Oh.."
"Stroke it..."
"What!"
"You heard Malik, stroke it."
"fine..hmm...ohh.."
"What's it like?"
"Ohh...well..it's moving quite a bit now..ohh."
"Ohh..hmm..and wet.."
"Hey how come I'm missing out on the fun! Watch out guys cos I'm gonna stroke too!"
All the hikari's blinked at each other, their faces in shock and wonder whilst they were in silence; Yugi breaking it in minutes...
"Whoa, did they give Yami a brain transplant?"
"What the hell? Bakura not trying to kill Yami? Did they give him a brain transplant?"
"What the hell is Malik doing with them? And why isn't he doing it with me instead?"
Yugi and Ryou looked at Marik in disbelieve and both sighed at the other hikari.
"Oh Look! It's moving faster now! It's enjoying this!"
The hikari's looked at the kitchen door and thought that it was now the right time to see what was going on inside that room.
"Yeah it is! Never knew storking this could be so much fun!"
Yep defently the right time to enter the room!
"Faster boys! This thing is getting frantic!"
Now is defently the right time for the hikaris to walk in.
"What in Ra's name is going on in here!" Yugi shouted as he slammed the door open, knocking it off it's hinges as he did so. The three hikari's faced their yami's as they saw them in a weird position. Bakura was sitting on the table, his legs wide open as Yami lent over him slightly, Malik behind Yami with his arms wrapped round the Pharaoh and all of them having their hands over the Tombrobbers.
"Well Malik what is going on?" moaned the tanned hikari.
"Come on Bakura, spit it out!" sighed the paler hikari.
All was silent, that was until Yugi shouted "What is going on in here! Tell me now otherwise you shall all suffer!"
The yami's gulped as they all untangled from each other and sweatdropped as they noticed the glance the shortest hikari was given them. Ryou and Marik were growing impatient and were about to shout at their yami's until they all heard a faint flapping noise coming out from Bakura's hands. Yugi blinked confused, that was until he looked at his goldfish bowl which should of had his pet goldfish in it. "Yami were is Nemo?" Yugi asked, trying not to get too angry and hit them.
"Nemo? hmm..er..well.."
Ryou and Marik sighed as Ryou looked at Yami's finger, "Why are you bleeding?" he asked as Marik looked around confused "Yeah and were's Yami's breasts you guys were talking about?". The yami's looked at each other and Bakura closed his hands tighter, trying to hide the constant flapping nosie the fish was making.
"See the thing is Yugi..."
"I found Nemo!"
Yami sighed as Bakura hang Yugi's prized goldfish by it's tail, the fish itself flapping wildly not liking being dry at all as it's red scales showed. Ryou sweatdropped as the shorter duelist went up to the tombrobber and grabbed his fish back, plopping it back into it's bowl. "Oh Bakura..." Yugi smirked as the white haired yami became slightly nervous. "You will pay for hurting my fish!" Yugi growled as he grabbed the yami by the hair and swung the yami round the room, letting him go soon afterwards sending him flying into his white haired hikari. "Now Malik unless you want to suffer the same as Bakura, explain what was going on.." Yugi asked as Marik stood next to him, his fists clenched ready for some rough action if he needed to us it.
"Er well the honest truth is...Yai had these big chicken breasts rady to make you guys a lunch and then we saw your fish, took it out of it's bolw and began to play with it. Yami cut himself was cutting the chicken and then he played with us and the fish!" Malik smiled as his hikari came closer and, grabbed his ears and dragged his yami with him as he stood at the doorway with Ryou and his passed out yami. "Yugi I think we should get going, er...well see you sometime..bye!" and so the other two hikari's and yami's left the room and shop altogether, leaving Yami and Yugi all alone.
"Yami, you've been a bad boy and you need to be punsihed!"
"Er..hehehe...Uh Oh!"
"Heheeh..yami get ready for a world of hurt!"
(End of Chapter)
Well that's the end of that chapter, and once again..it's not that funny! I'm sorry! but oh well...So yeah thats the only threesome kinda one i'm doing...it's only becuase it's Chens Birthday I have done a special chapter ok. Oh well I hope you enjoyed it and I ave once again got a song for you to gues..godd luck and the same rules apply just like theother times..Good Luck -
I was so happy when you smiled
Your smile breaks through the clouds of grey
Far from the sunny days that lie in sleep
Waiting with patience for the spring
When the flowers will bloom renewed again
Knowing there's more beyond the pain of today
Although the scars of yesterday remain
You can keep on living as much as your heart believes
You can't be born again
Although you can change
Let's stay together always
Well that's the song and I think most of you have got it by now but if not here is a clue:-
1) Chinese Zodaic
Well that's all and see you next chapter and remember whoeevr gets this right and picks the pairing..no more pairings of 3 becuase to be honest with you guys..thats what the sequel is going to be about! Oh well C ya
Yugi