A series of unfortunate 'sexual' events

key

speech: Shadi speaking

Speech: Ishizu speaking

Speech: Marik speaking

Speech: Malik speaking

Chapter Eighteen: Ishizu and Shadi

Birds, Why are they here?

A completely random topic but have you ever thought why they were brought upon this planet? They attack farmers crops, drop their ever so lovely poo all over you. Yet why are they here?

Many birds fly over the town of Domino doing their usual thing. Each flap of their feathery wings making them glide along the sky. Many dangers surrounded these creatures and one poor bird was heading for such danger!

A beautiful dove danced across the sky as it approached a house, not a normal house though. This house seemed more Egyptian then modern. Its soft white feathers moving gracefully as it soon noticed a rather nice looking pie upon a windowsill, the window itself being conveniently left open so any animal can go near the pie.

Slowly the bird approached the fruity pie, not noticing a set of psycho violet eyes watching its every move. It began to peck quietly at the pastry, the eyes moving ever closer to the innocent bird. The dove's eyes began to look around as it noticed gravity defying blonde hair approaching. It was about to fly away until...

"Birdie!"

The dove flapped its wings franticly as a human being leapt out of the window after it, the person's violet eyes turning even more psycho as it already was. The dove flew faster as the human laughed, how was it possible for a human to float in the air? The bird didn't want to know the answer and so it flew away, hoping to never see that strange human ever again. Was it even human?

Malik frowned as the dove flew away. All he wanted to do was make friends with it, just like he did with Yugi's pet fish. He glanced down and noticed quite a few humans staring up at him, after all he was floating in mid air. "Aaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhh shit they saw me!" Malik screamed as he dove back inside and hid under the bed. Very un-Malik if you ask me.

Marik growled in frustration as he stood outside his house. He wondered why everyone was looking up at his window. "Stupid people.." Marik sighed as he looked up. "It's not as if they've never seen a Malik floating in mid-air outside." Marik paused and glared at his yami, who by that time had disappeared and decided to go and see Malik face to face.

Marik smirked as he finally reached his bedroom, slamming the door open as he shouted "Here's Marik!" as his lavender eyes looked around the room for his so called 'yami'. "Malik? Were are you?" Marik smiled as he noticed a familiar purple cape sticking out from under the bed. He leant forward and gave a harsh tug at the fabric, causing Malik to emerge from underneath. "Hello Malik."

Malik whimpered as he felt his hiding space disappearing, he's legs starting to get carpet burn. Malik turned round and faced his hikari, soon wishing he hadn't as he felt a rolled up magazine hit him in the face. Marik stared at his yami as Malik's eyes began to water slightly. "Malik what do you think you were playing at? Everyone saw you! Now i have to go round with the millennium rod and wipe out that image from their heads!" Marik scowled, but he soon felt bad for his yami had tears streaming down his face. He leant forward and noticed the sadness and hurt in Malik's eyes and he well, felt sorry for him. Marik sighed and did the first thing that came to his mind. A hug. Malik's eyes widened as he felt the arms round him, he had never got a hug before and he didn't like it that much either. His eyes narrowed as he lunged forward and pinned Marik underneath him. Marik smiled as he noticed this action. "Welcome back Malik!" he said as his yami gave a psycho smile back. "Heh, did you get it?" Malik asked as his hikari nodded hs head in reply. "Yes I did." Marik sweat dropped a bit though "but are you sure you want to read it?". Malik gazed at his hikari Yes of course I want to read it! Yami's Weekly is the only magazine I read so give it here Marik!" Marik gave a nervous smile as he handed over the magazine, hopefully Malik won't react that bad to it.

Malik read through the magazine, some things made him laugh, well most of it did, until...

"MARIK!"

Marik turned to his yami and noticed the kind of scared and worried look in his yamis eyes. "What's wrong?" he asked as he leant over to look at the interview Malik was reading. "IT'S HIM!" Malik pointed to a picture of a small tri-coloured haired hikari. "It's Yugi! What's wrong with that?" Marik questioned. Malik shuddered in fear as he read the article more..."Marik it's about that incident that happened last week, the one round Yugi's house! Listen to this..'The 3 world renowned yamis, Bakura, Malik and Yami, suffered a humiliating defeat against innocent hikari, Yugi Muto. The yami's were caught fiddling with his pet fish and so each of them met the fate of this hikari, and none of them fought back. The worse suffered one was Yami who came out of hospital the other day with a broken arm. The other 2 yamis we have not heard from but we know both of them have taken to hiding from the public, after all they are meant to be big strong yamis and now that they have been beaten by one hikari, they are going to be laughing stocks of the whole shadow realm. Next time we have a photo shot with the 3 hikaris, in ways you have never seen them before." Malik glared at his hikari. "Marik!" he shouted as Marik sweat dropped, "Look it was only a couple of shoots here and there some of them we had clothes on whil- " Marik was cut off as Malik hit him. "I don't care about that, I mean I'm a laughing stock, What am I going to do? Everyone's going to laugh at me. That's what they were going to do today wans't it! Oh no!" Malik wined as Marik decided to hit him back. "Ouch, hey Marik! if i put a paper bag over my head, would any notice it's me?" Malik asked. "No Malik, no one would recognize a tanned person with gravity defying hair wearing a paper bag!" Marik sighed. Malik smiled back. "Great, no one will notice me, so now...TIME TO KILL YUGI MUTO FOR THAT ARTICLE!" Marik was a bout to protest until his yami stormed out of the room, "Didn't he read it! I wrote that article! oh well..Malik wait!"

Marik ran until he caught up with his yami version, "Malik you can't just run off like that!" he moaned as he grabbed hold of his yamis arm. Malik turned round and glared at him "And why the hell not?". Marik thought for a bit about a reason, "er because...You forgot to put your paper bag on your head!" he said as Malik stared at him confused. "No wait, er...oh yeah when we go out you have to tell Ishizu first!" he smiled. "I am not telling no pms-ing women were I am going, I can take care of myself!" Malik fumed as he walked more, until he was thrown back by his light, "GO AND SEE ISHIZU NOW!" he shouted as Malik looked at him a bit scared. "Fine" Malik sighed as he walked towards Ishizu's room, muttering to himself along the way. "I guess pms runs in this family."

Malik stood outside Ishizu's door and sighed, he turned away quickly in hope that he would be able to run away, that was until he ran into his hikari. "Malik Ishtar, get yourself in that room now!" he glared, but sadly his yami shoved him nearer the door. "Marik as she is your sister you can see her! All yours!". Marik sighed as he was about to knock on the door, that was until he heard voices. "Malik did anyone go in this room? Apart from Ishizu?" he asked. "Nope, I don't think so anyway...". Marik sighed at his yami lack of help and listened through the door. Malik sighed and joined in with his hikaris actions...Let the eavesdropping commence.

In room with Ishizu and Shadi

"Shadi why have you come here? No one ever sees you around anymore."

"Miss Ishtar, I wish to meet new people...but i think your special so I've come to see you once again."

"Well I don't have the necklace anymore so I'm not special, Shadi."

"No i sense great talent from you, you have a secret you are hiding from everyone, something you take great pride in."

"Were are you getting all these silly ideas from?"

"I can sense many things, and you are hiding something. Tell me Ishizu, what are you hiding. What is it you take great pride in!"

"Ok, your right..It's my-my-...It's my jugs!"

"Ah, I knew you had something big about you. I never noticed it before."

"Its not that much. Come I'll show you more if you want?"

"Ok."

Marik looked at Malik as the voices distanced away. "Malik their going nearer the window, For once do your magical floating think and make us be outside the window so we can hear!" Marik frowned as he stared at his yami. "Please!" he asked until he soon noticed Malik had done what he had asked. "Thanks Malik!" he smirked as he continued to spy on his sister. 'Why is Shadi here though' he thought, a sound of anger could be heard clearly.

"So yeah this was the size of them when I first began."

"Wow, Miss. They were very small back then."

"Yes, soon after they developed. As you can see they have grown in size and shape."

"Ahh, I sense that. Tell me, does your brother Marik take an interests in your jugs?"

"No sadly Marik prefers more boyish, exciting things."

"Those jugs are enough to excite me any day!"

"Yeah they excite me too, it was Mai who actually got me into this. After all Mai took up gardening and so I decided to do something that would require me to use my hands more. Sometimes Mai comes over and helps me as well."

"Well I've been told it's better to have a women help you with that job then a man? Tell me Miss Ishizu, would I be allowed to help? After all I have always wanted some for my own..."

"Sure you can but what are you going to give me in return Shadi? After all Mai pays me by trimming my bush once in a while, what will you offer?"

"I shall offer you my own rod, like Marik and Malik's it needs to be polished regularly but handled with much more care Miss Ishizu."

"Well that sounds ok to me..."

Marik and Malik blinked as they continued to float outside, Malik looking at his hikari once in a while. "Marik can I polish your Rod actually?" The Yami smirked. "Marik no way in Ra's hell! Your to rough it still has the scratches from last time!" The hikari fumed as he felt his anger rising, one for his increasingly perverting Yami and two because of the also perverted Shadi molesting his sister. 'Sheesh Hikaris..' Malik thought as they still watched and floated about.

"Tell me miss why do you not teach Miss Wheeler? I thought you would be more the type of woman who liked to be the teacher and teach the younger pupil?"

"Hmm, I've thought about that too, but I have more fun doing this with Mai then her I would think. After all Mai does have experience in this."

"Indeed she does. So teach me Miss, teach me the way of handling the Jugs!"

"Alright..first get your hands wet and..."

"Stop this now!"

Both the two elderly tanned Egyptians looked towards the window as a fuming blonde haired hikari jumped through the closed window.

"What is the meaning of this, Marik Theodore Ishtar!"

Marik blinked at his older sister as he wiped off some of the glass from his shoulders, his yami standing behind him. "Sister that is not my name? I'm just plain old Marik Ishtar."

"I don't care I am raving mad with you right now and I want to hear an explanation!" Ishizu shouted.

"Well excuse me Miss Ishizu 'touch my jugs' Ishtar. I heard you and the stranger talking and I thought he was touching you up!" Marik glared.

"Whoa it is true..pms does run in this family."

"Shut it!" Marik snarled at his yami as both Shadi and Malik looked at the clay that was on a wooden tray in front of them. "Hmm I wonder what we do next? And young man..I am Shadi not 'The Stranger'" Shadi sighed as he begin to run his hands along the cold, damp clay; soon catching the attention of the Psycho Yami. The two Ishtars still arguing. "What is that?" Malik asked as he took a seat next to Shadi and began to rub some clay himself. "Ahh this is clay, it is used to make Jugs and Mugs, well pottery really. Miss Ishtar was going to teach me how to make some until Marik entered the scene." Shadi sighed as the yami just nodded.

"Listen your obsession with Jug making has gone on for long enough! I shall ban it you here, neither me or Malik shall start this 'hobby' as you call it, isn't that right Malik!" Marik shouted as he looked at his sister then his yami, his face paling a bit as he saw Malik playing with clay and it looked like he was making his own jug.

"Malik what in Ra's name are you doing?"

The yami looked up at his light, his eyes glazed over. "Why Marik, I'm playing with clay! Join us!" he smiled, even more psycho then usual.

Marik's eyes bulged out as he saw Shadi and Ishizu having the same look in their eyes, soon saying in unison...

"Join Us! Join us Marik!"

Marik had no time to reply as he jumped out of the window, disappearing from the other 3's views. Malik, Ishizu and Shadi smiled manically as they pointed to the imaginary screen you are reading this on...

"Join Us!"

(End of Chapter)

Well that's all. Sorry for the late update and please review. Thanks to the previous reviewers for the last chapter. This chapter is for the following people...

Mai (My sister..heh enjoy), S.Chensu (Have fun at uni, we'll miss ya), Luff (Ur a great pal!) and also Lia Xaragi (Well all care for you and ur a great pal 2!)

C ya all next chapter!

Yugi