A series of unfortunate 'sexual' events

Key

speech: Mai speaking

speech: Téa Speaking

speech: Ryou speaking

speech: Bakura speaking

Chapter Nineteen: Mai and Téa

It was soon approaching Christmas once again, the season were you are meant to be jolly and spend time with your loved ones. Some may find this a great time waster whilst others take it as a chance to get as much drink and food down their throats as possible not worrying about the extra pounds they are putting on at the same time, but as well we all know a greater problem comes before the celebration of some religious persons birth…Christmas shopping.

Ryou ran a gloved hand through his snow drenched hair he clutched his bags closer to his rake thin body. "Just a few days to go now..." he said in his rich British accented voice, a slight tint of sadness within him as he knew his dad wasn't going to be home for Christmas again this year, but why would you need a dad when you have Bakura around? Ryou laughed slightly at that idea after last Christmas where somehow Yami had become the new decoration upon the top of their Christmas tree, Bakura trying his best to try and be an angel an act as innocent as possible over the matter. For this Ryou was grateful even though Bakura wasn't exactly the kindest of yami's he was still there for Ryou even after finally getting his own body he still stayed by his side making sure no one would harm him, even though at times it seemed more likely the ancient thief was trying to piss off the once proud Pharaoh and cause havoc with the most psychotic yami of them all, Malik.

The English Light wrapped his coat round him tighter as the breeze picked up, his bangs tickling across his pink tinted cheeks whilst snow began to make a blanket across the floor. A smile appeared across Ryou's face after all snow seemed like innocence and that's what the lights were hence their over joy when it comes to winter as all three of them acted like 5 years olds. Ryou walked, well slipped a few times along the way as he went along the busy streets people rushing past carrying gifts whilst the seasonal carols filed the air bringing the sound of angels to the town of Domino. Amongst the carol singers was the smallest of the lights, Yugi who was wearing the woolliest of jumpers that of course was slightly too big for his small frame whilst next to him was a shivering Pharaoh. Ryou laughed as he waved to the youth wondering when someone was going to tell Yami that wearing his leather gear in -6oc weather was not a good thing, at least his yami thought about health more then style.

"Hmm…speaking of Bakura, what to get him for Christmas?" Ryou said, sighing as he glanced at the sheet of paper the ancient thief had given him, "Great … he wants a set of knives to stab the Pharaoh, grenades to blow up the Pharaoh, a gun to shoot the Pharaoh. Pharaoh...pharaoh…pharaoh. NO WAY!" Ryou laughed nervously as he folded the sheet of paper and threw it in the nearest bin. "What's Bakura and Malik's obsession with harming him anyway? Well the last thing Kura wrote on that list didn't seem like something he wanted to harm Yami with, yet alone me." He shook his head and glanced at the shopping centre, noticing as usual round this time of year they had some poor guy dressed up in a Father Christmas suit, yet for some reason Ryou felt he knew this Santa from some were before. "Wonder were Bakura is anyway? Oh well. Who's next on the list? Ah Téa and Mai!" The Light said happily walking off not noticing a pair of harsh brown eyes watching him like a hawk from within the shopping centre. "Ho ho ho.."

Ryou glanced inside a clothes store, his breath fogging up the window with a faint mist. "Why is it that girls are so hard to shop for?" he frowned as he slid on the path, soon wincing as his backside came in contact with the pavement. "Damn that ice…" He moaned blinking as a black gloved hand grabbed his and hoisted him up. "T-t-thank you." Ryou stuttered as the young male dressed up in the Santa outfit that winked at him, a slight smirk crossing his face. Ryou blinked and was about to speak as he noticed the dark brown eyes staring at him, but had no chance to as the figure pointed to a make-up store and walked off. "I swear I know him…" Ryou muttered as he faced the store the figure had pointed to, quickly grabbing the shopping bags he had dropped and running across the road and walking into the shop.

The first thing that hit Ryou's senses' was the strong and over-powering smell of perfume, causing the light to cough harshly getting a few stern female glares his way. "Sorry…" he muttered as he thought was this the best of ideas, even though it wasn't his idea in the first place but Santa's. Well the fake one that is. He gazed around the shelves, half of the stuff he didn't even recognise or had heard of before whimpering and a look of fright hitting his face as three women approached him, each with a fake 'welcoming' look upon their faces. "Excuse me, young lady, how may we help you?" The tallest and big breasted one asked as Ryou tried to look for a way to escape, soon frowning at being called a member of the opposite sex. "Er, beg your pardon Miss big ches-I mean shop assistant, but I am no girl." Ryou waved his arms about trying to reassure them. "Aww that's what all the cute girls say, don't be shy, we'll help you" The next female said, grabbing Ryou's hand and dragging him along further into the store, the hikari's face turning into a look of despair as the shop exit seemed to be getting further and further away. "I told you three, I am no girl." But his cries were ignored as he was being pulled along by all three females entering the lion's den.

Ryou closed his eyes through the rest of the journey as he heard the sound of the girl's giggling as they came to an abrupt stop. "We are here, please ask if you need any more help Ok little girl." The last female said patting his head as he watched them walk off, sweat dropping and rolling his eyes as he wondered what went on within a girls mind, and how could they not work out he wasn't a male. "I'm not that girly, am I?" he asked himself as he looked along the shelves, spotting a variety of foundations and eye shadows. AN: I don't know that much about make up folks, even though I'm a girl I don't tend to wear that stuff and I personally hate make up heh…but oh well) "Hmm, this might do for Mai.." Ryou said happily as he grabbed a gift box containing a variety of make up in the shades of purple. "And this for Téa." He picked up a box with make up in different shades of blue. "Hope that's Ok for them, I am not doing this again." He moaned as he approached the till, cringing at how long the line was, like it tends to be around the Christmas Season. "Shit! I forgot about Ishizu and Serenity!" Ryou cursed as he ran back to the gift boxes and looked around. "Hmm…pink, black, grey, green. OH I DON'T KNOW!" Ryou screamed as he noticed a door at the back, sparkling lights around the edge and pink in the inside. "Maybe in there.." he said approaching the door and noticing more make up sets inside, acting like he was a tombrobber who had just found the pharaoh's stash of gold. "Yeah, score! Maybe it is helpful having an ancient tombrobber the king thief as a yami." He smiled as he walked inside, picking up the first two boxes that caught his attention. "Innocent Pink and Egyptian Gold set." He laughed mentally suddenly gulping as he heard noises nearby, after all he did just walk into the store cupboard. "Shit, shit shit..exit now!" he screamed in his head, sprinting to the door which had just locked itself, Ryou 'meeping' and blinking, looking for a place to hide, the noises getting louder. "Hey wait...I know those." He blinked and hid behind a Playboy make up set, listening to the conversation.

Bless little Ryou, he's just like his yami…a nosey white haired bunny? (yes that as very random..you might not understand..heh..-;;) Lol...enjoy little Ryou.

In the store room with Mai and Téa

"What did you want from me Mai? I should be on the tills you know how busy it is."

"Yes I know, you have to see what I've been doing though. Trying to help men shop for their girls on this festive holiday is not my idea of fun."

"Tell me about it, but still what did you want Mai? Don't forget it's not long till Christmas soon and that means day's off and a big sum of cash within our banks!"

"Well about Christmas I've been meaning to do this for a while now Téa, I really have."

"Hmm? What is it?"

"Well I thought as I won't be seeing you for much longer as working play mate. I thought I would give you your present…well...early hun."

"Really for me? You shouldn't have!"

"Don't worry, this is just for starters..now close your eyes."

"Ok they are shut.."

"Right tell me if this tickles or hurts at all..ok..ready."

"Ahh...hey.what's ...that.."

"Oh this is something new i found laying around the place..sorry if it's a bit cold but don't worry we'll warm it up later."

"Ok, I can do that and then I can show you the new dance I learnt very seducing it is too."

"I look forward to it hun, afterall you in that short skirt can be very sexy indeed."

"Really? Hmm anything for my little Yugi, but recently he seems to be spending more time with Yami. Well infact all the hikari's seem to be with their yami's a lot more often..."

"Does he? Well he doesn't know what he is missing really. I on the other hand am happy your here, now lets continue what we started okay my sweet Téa."

"Yes Mai."

Ryou sweatdropped as he listened to the conversation, girlish giggles and faint sighs were heard behind and the Light's eyes widened. "Please stop..this is not good not good!" Ryou mumbled as he looked aorudn the room, facing the two females and quickly turning back as he saw what looked like their arms and legs wrapped around each other. "oh dear." he sighed and wrapped his arms round the two gift sets he was getting for the female Wheeler and Ishtar. "What am I going to do?" Ryou moaned glancing at the closed door and wimpering with dispair. "Why me.."

"Right, I think I'll put some of this on now. It should help you from not getting any strecth marks on your skin."

"Let me help, but ahh..your nails."

"Sorry hun but I must say you're flushing quite a lot?"

"Oh it's just I like this and well I've never tried it before."

"Ah I see but obviously you have done some of this once in your life?"

"Yeah of course it's just around Battle City and the other tournaments I didn't really have time I was just thinking about my precious Yugi. ah.."

"Heh sorry. You we're talking about the shrimp again when it should be just a bit of me and you time. Well I think that's enough stuff to stop you getting stretched too much."

"Hey wait? You not going to do it that much are you? I like things gentle unlike you."

"Ahh that explains the whole blushing and flushing thing. Well don't worry hun I can do things to your liking. Now i'm just going to put some of this on my hands and fingers so it can be spread easily."

"Oh, I just tend to put a dollop on and leave it like that. I'm not really that fussy."

"And that's what makes the difference between a whore and a women. You may have a chest and all but you need to lure the bait in, give them a wink, flash a smile..or if your like me just show them the pair and they faint on the spot."

"I haven't fainted."

"So you've been looking? heh glad to know I have a few female fans around the place. Now were was I. Oh yes I remember..this.."

"Ahh Mai your getting it all in my hair!"

"Well maybe if you trimmed once in a while it wouldn't happen. Hmm that looks good to me, peachy."

"I'm glad it is I'll tell you my secret one time, but come on..i'm getting hot here."

"Sorry this is taking along time isn't it, but you said do it gently so I'm doing it slowly. Don't want to spill everywere do we."

"Mai..please..need. Hurry up!"

"Hush dear someone might hear with the way your shouting. It's only..."

"WAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

Téa and Mai both sat up at the high pitched scream and blinked, spotting some movement behind the box of Playboy goods. "Im sorry, I'm sorry .." the voice mumbled as both girls stood up and walked over to the products, smiling at the sight before them.

"Ryou , what a er..pleasant surprise to see you." Téa said with false happiness.

Mai looked at Téa and then to the albino hikari. "Who's this girl?" she asked as Ryou looked up at her and glared. "I inform you Mai I am no girl!" he poted as the femlae duelist beant down and pulled him close to her chest hugging him. "I was only joking silly." she said her voice hiding a secret plan. "Well er..I think I best be going I'll just leave yout two to er.play with.." Ryou sweatdropped as he looked at their faces which were covered in layers of make up, some on Téa's hair. "Make up?"

"Yes what else do you think we were doing?" Téa asked smiling and bringing a brush with blusher towards his cheek. Mai smirking and dabbing some eye shadow above his startled eyes. "Wahhh Goodbye!" Ryou screamed as he grabbed his goods and ran out of the shop, not paying for the female presents. "Oh dear, oh dear!" he moaned as he heard their laughter in the background.

"That was fun hun. Shall we do what he thought we were doing then or not?"

"Sure Mai." Téa said as Ryou ran for his life towards the shopping centre.

Ryou ran further his breath and heart beat coming out rapidy but soon nearly stopping with freight as he ended up in someones lap, a red one with white fluff round the edges. The hikari gazed up and saw the familair face of the fake Santa who had helped him so many times, who was now currently running his hands along the inside of his leg.

"So little man or should I say hikari. What do you want for christmas?" The fake santa asked as he licked Ryou's cheek a smirk playfully flashing in his dark brown eyes. Ryou looked up at the voice and went pale screaming...

"BAKURA!"

(End of Chapter)

Sorry about the long wait for the this chapter but after listening to quite a few anime mp3's (mostly the Japanese ygo ones, especially Warriors.) I have finally typed the next chapter and I hope you enjoy it after the long wait. I thought I would finally put it up today to mark the special even of the final series of Yugioh being shown in the UK. YAY! lol..anyway hope you liked and I really don't like doing femlae x female pairings. Very hard to do but thank you so much Kazuki for not having tones of female characters! heh c yas and Merry Christmas for I know I probably won't update till the new year.

Yugi