Oh joy! Writer's block is really mean. :(

However I did finally get this done, and I like it well enough.

A warning for this chapter would be dish!homicide, sexual innuendoes, and an impromptu make-out session between two humans of the same gender. That's right. YAOI!

So as you might have guess, I don't own Naruto. O! Whoa. Fooled you all.

Thanks to all who've read or reviewed; whenever I'm really stuck, looking at the reviews get me in the mood to write. ; That's all for the notes. OHAST!

Hasn't Everyone Wanted to Catch Snow on His Tongue?

Chapter Four: Rising Tensions

Four days. It had only been four days.

And yet, somehow, Haku was ready to strangle the life out of his precious little 'pet'. Student of Momochi Zabuza, little friendly child from Mist, rumored to be the most patient nukenin in the history of them all; it took a lot to get Haku really worked up into anything that resembled patience, let alone violence. Orochimaru had managed to do it. In four days.

Haku, being a shinobi, of course committed violent acts, but they were all on behalf of his sensei; never had he attacked someone on his own whim. To be sure, Zabuza wasn't forcing him (too much) to fight, but the younger mist nin had never found much reason to respond with violence to anything.

Now, the teen was ready to amend that certain thought; at least, in the cases of annoying, snake-like men that seem to believe that since they have been graciously taken in when the teens that take them in don't have to even stop to move their broken bodies off the road, they can demand whatever they like of said teenage boys, stopping just short of the boundaries of child molestation.

At first, Orochimaru's demands had been half-way logical; an extra blanket, some more soup, freedom to putter around the house when Zabuza was out, and so on and so forth; things Haku could understand. But now – now he was just getting ridiculous.

'Sleep in my bed; it's too cold', or 'Come here, and be my pillow', and once Orochimaru had even had to gall to be blunt: 'I feel like getting laid… Come here.'

Needless to say, Haku had bolted out of the room, his eyes as wide as saucers. The boy had slammed the door shut, leaning back against it and begging to all the gods that he had ever heard of that there would be someway that he never had to see his pet again.

Of course, that didn't help him one bit. A pet takes care. And food. Orochimaru wasn't quiet when he was being annoyed, and within an hour of running out of the room, Haku was back in there listening to the man talk on and on about absolutely nothing just so he wouldn't be shouting.

Now, Haku could understand the man not wanting to be by himself all the time – after all, he wouldn't be exactly happy stuck in a room for hours on end – but the groping had to stop. Period.

As with all things, it had started out bearable, if not welcome. A light touch here or there, a lingering hand; perhaps even a full-out undressing with the eyes; all was bearable. Orochimaru, however, had decided to grow a bit bolder, touches turning into caresses (yes, there was a difference), and once the undressing had leapt from the eyes to actual articles of clothing being removed.

Haku, after all was said and done, was human too, and unlike many other humans his age, had a very keen sense of modesty that was slowly being destroyed by an… 'over zealous' old coot.

In short, it was driving him absolutely, 100 insane.

Not that he showed Zabuza or even Orochimaru this, of course. His sensei, for all the man knew, believe him to be raising a little snake he'd just stumbled upon. And since snakes aren't too hard to take care of – just give them a sun beam and they'll wallow around there for a while – his training hadn't decreased at all; perhaps even increased a tiny margin.

With training and caretaking, and not to mention taking care of all the 'womanly' chores around the house (Zabuza was prone to forgetting such trivialities like food and cleaning), Haku was exhausted.

And this wasn't just the 'I'm tired, leave me alone' exhausted, oh no. This was the full blown 'If you tell me to do one more thing today I swear I'm going to scream and cry and shit bunnies before ripping your soul out and making it into a bed' tired.

And this was the state Zabuza found his young little apprentice in, the boy flopped on the couch as if he were nothing more than prettily-made rag doll, tossed aside in a hurry by some snot nosed little brat.

Chuckling, the older man walked over to his poor student, giving the boy a few pokes that earned him a low growl. Other than that, Haku refused to move, his hand only coming up to wave at the offender when another series of pokes attacked him.

"Your pet that hard to care for?" Zabuza asked as he made his out of arm's reach of the younger shinobi, just in case the other summoned up some hidden reserve of energy and stabbed him in the arm with a few senbon needles. That wouldn't be pleasant.

"It's getting that way," came the muffled response. It seemed the boy was disinclined to summon up any hidden energy supplies, for the use of stabbing Zabuza or to even bother to move his head from where it was buried about the cushions of the couch.

Probably, the elder of the two reflected, it was safe to continue harassing the calm little ninja. Part of him really wanted to just annoy the boy to no end; punishment for all the annoyances Haku caused.

"Maybe you're so exhausted because you've been sleeping on the couch these past few days?"

That, at least, was true. There was no way that Haku was going to trust sleeping in the same room with Orochimaru. After all the very unsubtle innuendos that the snake-like man sent his way, Haku was quite sure that the couch, however uncomfortable, was a blessing when compared with sleeping anywhere near the creepy old man.

"Why have you been sleeping out here? The pet that much of a bother?" Zabuza frowned; if it was going to be affecting his student so much, perhaps he should take that pet away. It wouldn't exactly be good to get caught by ANBU because of a worn-out shinobi. And he was sure their hunters weren't going to take a break just because Haku was sheltering a little animal for a while.

"Uhh… It likes the bed, and I don't have the heart to move it," Haku answered, his face finally emerging from the cushions of his makeshift bed. It was a mostly truthful answer, but the first one his mind came up with had something to do with screaming about pedophiles and indecent relationships.

That might've made Zabuza suspicious.

The answer Haku supplied, however, did nothing to make him suspicious, and the elder merely shook his head, thinking Haku too kind to animals. He'd never been entirely sure why the kid liked animals so much. A rabbit he supposed he could understand; they were… cuddly. But a snake? Well, at least it was manlier.

"It's only a snake; don't let it make you too tired to train, or you'll have to let it go." Zabuza ended the conversation there, standing up from his seat. He ruffled Haku's hair on the way out, smirking at the mixture of pout and frown on his young companion's face.

Left alone again, Haku rolled onto his back, staring at the wooden ceiling of the room. Idly, he counted the grooves in the wood as he contemplated what he should do. The snake would probably want something soon. He rolled his eyes at the thought; there was no way to keep that man happy.

Still, as long as his pet was quiet, all was well. Well enough, anyway. And that was all he needed, Haku decided, throwing an arm over his eyes and sighing. Way too much work for a pet that he didn't even want anymore.

Orochimaru, really, couldn't be happier. Everything he had wanted to accomplish had happened, and more.

His boredom had subsided, the wounds Itachi and his fish of a partner were being treated, his arms were being treated, and, on top of all that, it seemed the boy who had decided to help was inclined to do almost whatever he asked of him. Too good.

For once, he could give into his lazier side, and cast aside the worries that usually plagued him. No village no take care of, no Kabuto to tend to, nothing. All Orochimaru had to do was avoid Momochi Zabuza and the rest would work itself out. With the help of, Haku, was it? Perfect.

The Sannin grinned, surprised at his good luck. It wasn't often that he got to relax anymore, and what had once been a humiliating defeat had become just that; almost a vacation. With a very nice server. With a very nice looking server, to be more precise.

Idly, he wondered what cave Zabuza had kept the boy in for him to be so kind and caring. Any shinobi with the intelligence of a fly (and there were many of those, in his opinion) knew that to stop and help another would be certain death in most conditions. Haku, however, seemed to be blissfully unaware of that particular rule.

And the boy had no idea how to respond to sexual innuendoes. It was actually quite amusing to watch the kid turn beet red or glare. Orochimaru chuckled remembering the last really good one he had tossed out. Of course, his words had earned him a needle to the arm, something he didn't want to experience again, but it was well worth the pain in entertainment value.

There was, as always, a downside to this. Because he had to avoid Zabuza had at all costs, he was usually confined to this room. It hadn't been so bad when he was injured and it hurt just to lay there still, now that he was recovering, a certain restless itch had crept into his veins.

Haku needed to take him out sometime. Who knew how many muscles were slipping into disrepair in this sudden idleness. Even when he was getting bored with his village, he had never been still for so long. He had to go out and train, or learn a new jutsu; shinobi couldn't just lazy around for days on end.

Well, that was one thing decided. Now, there was just the tiny problem of getting Haku in here. Hmm… how, how, how? He couldn't just call the boy – Zabuza might be in there – and he couldn't just get out of the room, because of the same problem. How annoying; he had to use problem-solving techniques on his vacation.

Frowning, the snake tamer crossed his arms carefully, ignoring the twinges of pain that leapt through his nerves from the action. He was still for a few moments, his golden eyes dancing back and forth. Suddenly, he grinned, a stroke of pure genius attacking him.

On the desk next to his bed sat a plate of food. Most of it was eaten, but there were a few leftovers. It was completely harmless, sitting innocently. It didn't deserve to die. But, as Orochimaru figured, sacrifices had to be made for the greater good. With that, his arm shot out and pushed the dish off the table edge, a satisfying crash the only protest the dish made.

Out of the room, he heard a satisfying yelp of terror. Grinning from ear to ear, Orochimaru once again pointed out that he just couldn't be happier.

Haku, however was a different story, as Orochimaru noticed when the boy threw open the door, a cute little glare on his face and his hair messy. No matter how strong a fighter the boy might be, it was hard to take such an adorable shinobi seriously. So he usually didn't.

The adorable little shinobi had been about to fall asleep on the couch. He'd been so comfy and relaxed, the silence around him only interrupted by the soft chirping of birds outside the window. So peaceful… and suddenly….

CRACK

A yelp had escaped him, his body immediately flailing as he pulled his weapons out. This flailing had quickly led to him falling off the couch, landing roughly on the wooden and faced with no visible enemies. He had been confused for a moment, before a glare had overcome his features, his gaze landing on the door to what had once been his room.

And thus, here he was, glaring at the man that he was trying to help. Though really, at the moment, he was incredibly sorry that he hadn't just left the snake-pedophile-man-thing to die a slow a painful death. Haku knew that whatever had happened to the man, he had probably deserved it.

"What?" he ground out, marching over to the snake. As he got closer to the bed, he noticed the shattered dish on the ground, a few pieces of food mixing with the shards of porcelain. Figures.

"Oh, Haku. Didn't hear you come in," Orochimaru grinned, watching as the boy's already narrowed eyes grew even more so. Cute. "It seems I've accidentally dropped a dish…"

"Oh? I hadn't noticed."

"Yes, well, I had suspected as much." An even more heated glare. Orochimaru chuckled.

"Is there a point to all this, or would you like me to just clean your mess?" Haku asked, his eye twitching ever-so-slightly.

"Someone's getting a bit grumpy. Don't forget, I'm trying to get better here," the Sannin answered, looking as pitiful as possible. Which wasn't very.

Haku rolled his eyes. "Oh please, how can I help you feel better now?"

"Some physical exercise wouldn't hurt. Sparring, perhaps. Or running around? I'm getting restless." It wasn't really how he liked to go about things, but Orochimaru decided that getting straight to the point every now and then would be the safest way to go about keeping his head securely on his neck and intact.

"No. Zabuza would be bound to find you, and then he would probably kill you, and me as well, for that matter."

"You're a sacrifice I'm willing to make."

"You'd be dead too!"

"…You make a good point," Orochimaru conceded, humor hidden behind his eyes as he got the boy even more worked up. Suddenly, a lecherous grin broke out and he wrapped one arm around Haku's waist, pulling his close. "Well, I suppose I could just get some exercise in here."

Haku continued frowning for a moment, before he blinked in surprise, his mind registering just what the snake had said. A blush spreading across the bridge of his nose and tops of his cheeks, he squirmed in an attempt to get away from the man. However, Orochimaru's injured arm held him steadfastly, and the man leaned forward still grinning.

"Oh, come now; I'm not that horrible in bed. In fact, most people really enjoy having sex with me; I'm sure you'd like it to."

"I-I… uh…" While Haku was trying to stammer out an intelligent reply, the elder man finally closed the distance between them, capturing the teen's lips with his own. Stupidly, the mist nin gasped, allowing Orochimaru's tongue to slip into his mouth.

A barrage of feelings suddenly pounded on the dark haired boy – he'd never even kissed someone fully on the lips, yet alone made out with a person – but somehow his tongue knew exactly how twist and twine with someone else's, and his brain kicked into auto-drive.

Orochimaru smirked into the kiss, pulling the boy closer to his body until they were chest to chest, him leaning slightly over the other while Haku kept his neck tilted upwards to keep the kiss intact. Unbeknownst to the boy, he let out a moan, Orochimaru's hands beginning to roam over his body.

Haku clung to Orochimaru, the only anchor of support he seemed to be able to find. Sometime – he wasn't sure when – his eyes had drifted shut, and his world was nothing but the other man for a moment. Any and all anger had fled from him, replaced with a certain heat that he had only experienced a few times before.

After what seemed like an eternity, Orochimaru pulled back. Even an eternity didn't seem enough at the moment, and Haku attempted to follow him, his eyes opening. But then his body recognized why they had stopped. The boy let out a breath he didn't know he'd been holding, and as air came rushing back in, his mind seemed to click back on.

Almost immediately he shoved against the Sannin's chest, clambering out of his bed. Not giving the man another look, Haku went to his closet, flinging open the doors and grabbing the first articles of clothing he found.

Orochimaru, meanwhile, was grinning ear to ear. Talk about the cat getting the cream. The grin morphing into a smirk, he reflected that Haku wasn't a bad kisser – perhaps a bit sloppy, but it wasn't bad for a first try. Far, far from a bad try.

"Stay inside," Haku said shortly as he closed the closet doors and walked over to the door. Orochimaru frowned.

"Going somewhere? By the way, you're a pretty good kisser; some practice would help, though," the Sannin purred, the smirk back.

"I'm going to go see… a friend. I've been putting it off because of you," Haku answered, blushing but otherwise ignoring the snake's teasing.

"I can't come? I want to meet your friend."

"Just stay out of trouble, I won't be gone long." With that, Haku stepped out of the room, shutting the door firmly behind him.

A frown slowly came over Orochimaru's face. He had rather enjoyed that impromptu make-out session, and was quite looking forward to the next one. But now that his curiosity had been peaked – Haku had a friend? – there was nothing that could sate it, except seeing it for himself.

A stalking mission was required.

That was the first time I've ever written a kiss like that. ;-; Hope you enjoyed it.

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