Rogue: By a miraculous turn of events, a few of my teachers noticed that we had absolutely no idea what we were doing. So, because two of my tests got postponed until next week, I had time to write up this chapter. I'm quite fond of it myself. Anyway, it's obviously named after the All-American Rejects' song.

DISCLAIMER: I own nothing more of Grey's Anatomy then the two soundtracks, the complete first and second seasons, a pair of scrubs, and a hooded sweatshirt with the Seattle Grace Hospital logo that says 'seriously?'

"Mark." Three voices echoed the same word in three distinctly different tones. Addison was hurt; it was easy enough to see that in her eyes. Derek was angry. You didn't even need to look at him to see that. His voice wasn't the same angry tone it had been moments ago while talking to Addie. It was a whole different level of anger. And Meredith looked vaguely exasperated, like she was lost and just happened to walk into this room.

"That's my name," he answered slowly, gaze rotating from Addison to Meredith and back again. He didn't dare make eye contact with Derek; the last time he had tried that, he ended up with stitches in the side of his face. "What are we talking about?" Mark had seized a cup of coffee from the nearby cart and took a long sip. Meredith was doing her best to ignore his presence completely considering the circumstances, but the fact that his cup was steaming was making it very hard for her to focus. Steaming. McSteamy. Seriously.

"We were having the nicest conversation about how you're still sleeping with my wife-"

Derek was cut off by said wife and Meredith speaking simultaneously. "Soon-to-be-ex-wife." Addison and Grey met glances before looking in opposite directions. The fact that they were agreeing on anything besides men was slightly comical in some aspects. Apparently it wasn't very funny to Derek. Mark, however, seemed slightly amused.

"-and my ex-girlfriend."

"Ex?" Again Addison and Meredith spoke as one. "Both of us, hell the four of us know very well that as soon as those divorce papers go through, you're going to run back to her," Addie muttered with a highly noticeable fake laugh. "Not that she'll take you back. If Grey's really anything like me, she'll see you for what you really are. A cheating bastard. Look at us, Derek. Even when we're not together we end up in supply closets and even after hot sex we end up fighting."

"Let's not get into the whole cheating conversation," Derek shot back in an equally mock amused tone. "Because it's not like I'm the only one in this room who's done it." His gaze wandered over his three companions, Addison with her arms crossed over her chest, Mark dumping sugar into his coffee, and Meredith hovering awkwardly in the doorway. She was hovering awkwardly between more then a doorway in her mind, though. She was arguing with herself over whether this confrontation was truly a bad thing or if it was a blessing in disguise. She had been struggling with the decision between the two men. Here they both were, with Addison. The entire dysfunctional love square was present. Maybe this was exactly what they all needed to get their emotions in check.

They should have had weekly meetings. Instead of Alcoholics Anonymous they would have Cheating Lovers Anonymous meetings. CLA meetings would be held in the on-call room every Thursday at noon. Whatever happened happened. They could even have a foursome if they were feeling up to it. Oh, God. Lack of sleep mixed with a very small room with two of the single hottest men Meredith had ever seen was not a good combination.

"Besides I only did it because you did it first," Derek insisted. That was it, end of discussion. Mark set his coffee cup down and gave a hearty laugh.

"Yeah, and that's such a good reason. At least Meredith and I had a decent reason for cheating." It was Derek's turn to laugh.

"Don't tell me sleeping with your best friend's wife is a compassionate thing to do." Derek shook his head slowly, voice lowering with every word. "And the fact that the married couple is sleeping together really shouldn't be a factor in your relationship. I mean it's not like we're in love. It's lust. It's fulfilling old hungers. And you and Meredith should know that when dating and/or sleeping with a married person there's always the chance that, yeah, the married couple do sleep together."

"But you were getting divorced." Her voice came out soft, cautious. Derek's head whipped around. He had all about forgot that Meredith was even in the room. She shivered slightly when all eyes, including Addison's narrowed and deadly glare, fell upon her. "You told me you were leaving her for me. You said you chose me. And then you go and sleep with your soon-to-be-ex-wife. You're not even living together anymore..."

"Yeah," Mark agreed with a nod of his head. "You told me you loved me, Addison." An outraged sort of laugh escaped Derek's mouth. "Was this before or after you slept together in our bed? And was this before or after you said we were trying to fix our marriage?"

"You had your own outlet," Addison replied easily. "It wasn't like I was the only one with a secret lover that wasn't really a secret. The entire hospital knew about you and Meredith." Meredith was getting that bang-your-head-into-the-wall feeling again, except this time it wasn't because of what was said. She'd known everyone knew about Derek. It was old news. Addison told Mark she loved him? The only thought running through Meredith's head was not the former 'Oh, God, I'm so dead' but something along the lines of wondering if he'd said it back. Not that Mark had ever said he loved her. At least Meredith didn't think Mark ever told her he loved her. Oh, God. Did Mark tell her he loved her? Was she that bad a person that she didn't even remember? She really wished she could just rip her jealousy out. It was a very complicated emotion and essentially the source of all of her problems, including the CLA.

"And it wasn't like the entire practice back in New York didn't know about you and Mark," Derek answered in a sort of indifferent tone. Another question ran through Meredith's mind at this point. Why exactly was Derek so angry right about now? Was he jealous of Mark and Addison? Or was he simply angry that she'd slept with his ex-best friend. Maybe he had syphilis. Great, Meredith thought in the back of her mind. If Derek had syph then they'd all have syph. And she'd never hear the end of it from Cristina.

Again she was painfully aware that everyone was staring at her, although why she wasn't quite sure of. "Sorry, what?" Meredith mumbled tucking a stray strand of hair behind her ear. Addison had totally disappeared from view. What the hell had just happened? Why was she stuck alone in a room with the two sexiest doctors in the hospital? And why, Meredith scolded herself, was she totally okay with that?

"You slept with Mark. I sleep with my wife and you sleep with Mark," Derek stated dully. The anger had completely vanished from his voice. It had been replaced by something Meredith rarely saw in her McDreamy. He was hurt, sad and hurt. It was sort of painful to stare him in the eye, not only because she was guilty but because somewhere deep in her self-conscious Meredith was enjoying seeing Derek hurt. After all the times he'd hurt her he deserved a little hurt back, right? But the problem with this was that when Derek hurt a little bit of her hurt, too. She supposed that was the price of caring for someone. You were connected. When one was happy, they both were happy. When one was angry, they both were angry. When one hurt, they both hurt. And Derek was hurting now.

Apparently so was Addison. She caught Mark's lingering gaze on the door. She knew he was thinking about Addison, and where she had gone, what she was doing, if she was crying in the bathroom. Meredith shifted the rumbling jealousy to the back of her mind for later to focus on the here and the now. After all, this conversation was probably going to be the deciding factor in which man she chose. So she'd better pay attention. "Derek, I know I hurt you. But you hurt me, too. You said we were together. You said I was special. And then you go and pull something like this."

"Like what, Meredith? Sleeping with the woman I married is a crime now?" Derek sighed heavily, running a hand through his hair. His eyes hovered momentarily on Mark, who was now sipping at his coffee again. "Not that it matters. I'm calling the attorneys. They'll speed up the process and this all will finally be behind me." Meredith couldn't help but feel happy at this confirmation. Did that mean she should choose Derek? Was that what she wanted? Yes, she thought it was.

"Oh, Derek," she murmured unable to hide the tone of relief in her voice. Meredith moved forward on the prospect of slipping her hand into his or perhaps if he was lucky to hug him. Derek, though, shuffled awkwardly to the side. Meredith shot him a questioning glance. He simply shook his head slowly, sadly, in response.

"'This all' includes everything. You, Addison," Derek glared in Mark's direction. "Mark. Seattle." Meredith's throat clenched. What was he saying? Her mind was racing a mile a minute but it was nothing compared to her rapid heartbeat. Suddenly it all became so clear. She did want Derek. The entire reason she wanted Mark was because he made Derek angry. She'd been hoping to catch Derek's attention with Mark and then he'd come running back to her. But it had backfired on her.

"Derek, what do you mean? I don't think-"

"No," he agreed, "You don't think. I got a job offer back in New York waiting for me. Addison can stay here with you and Mark. I'm sure you three will make a wonderful couple." Derek edged sideways toward the door. "You both wanted Mark. You can have him." Doctor Shepherd exited the room, poking his head back inside. "And Mark, I should probably thank you. You exposed both of my potential women to be adulterous and sex-crazed. So you can have them. I don't need this." With that he slammed the door to the longue and stalked off down the hall. Meredith supposed he was looking for Addison. Not that it mattered. She didn't think either of them would be getting anything from McDreamy in the next hundred or so years.

Meredith felt odd, numb. Derek had just dropped her and left. Her entire plan -was it a plan?- had backfired. And now she was sitting in the longue with nothing more then an empty coffee cup. She leaned her weight against the wall and slid down to the floor, knees drawn into her chest. She rested her chin upon them and glanced about through watery eyes. Even if it had been her fault Derek had dropped her, and she would openly admit to that, it still hurt. Even when trying to hurt him she hurt. Meredith's throat constricted at the irony of it all. When one hurt, they both hurt. Life sucked. Love sucked.

Nothing could possibly make her broken heart feel better now.

Nothing except perhaps coffee. Caffeine just had that magical property to it. When Meredith smelled the sweet scent of fresh brewed coffee slightly to her left, she sighed slightly. Behind the tears that were surely making a nice trail down her cheeks and smearing her makeup, she gave a small smile. "Thanks," she muttered taking the cup of steaming coffee from Mark, who had flopped down next to her. Bringing the cup to her lips, Meredith seemed to awake with new life. God, the magic of caffeine was faster then it used to be.

Anyway, the shocking revelation that Derek had left her was still very fresh in Meredith's mind. But again, the thoughts she'd been hiding were coming to the forefront of her mind. If Derek left there was still Mark. And Mark had stayed with her after Derek left, even if Addison could potentially be drowning herself in tears in the bathroom. Did that mean something? Did she still have a chance with Mark? And more importantly, did everything really happen for a reason like George said it did? If so Meredith had little doubt that Derek had broken up with her for the sole purpose of her and Mark getting together. Maybe fate wasn't so cruel after all.

"You okay, Grey? I guess it's kind of my fault Derek ended it." Meredith shook her head, tilting it back to stare at the ceiling.

"It's not your fault. It's not like you forced me into anything. It's been my decision. It's all been my decision." She paused bringing her lips to her coffee once more and draining the cup. Setting it on the floor she clasped her arms around her knees and breathed deeply, a bit of hot steam pouring from her mouth. Thinking about Mark's nickname Meredith reveled in coincidence for a moment before continuing. "And I didn't hesitate with my decision, either. I mean I wanted it just as much as you did."

"Yeah, but I kind of feel bad, ruining two relationships in one day." Meredith gave a light laugh. Derek and Addison were over. Meredith and Derek were over. That left only one option to pursue. Meredith turned her head slightly to the side, making eye contact with Mark for the first time since he'd entered the room. God, his eyes were really distracting. Even with his tough, bad boy attitude, you could see Mark's real emotions in his eyes. She guessed that was why he was so particularly skilled in avoiding her gaze.

"Everything happens for a reason, right? I mean some good̀ll come out of this." It was Mark's turn to sigh. He was examining the ceiling. Meredith thought he might be counting the tiles. "Just because one relationship ends it's not the end of the world. Right?" Mark's head snapped back and he stared at her, a strangely unfamiliar look in his eyes. He didn't look happy, or angry, or pleased. Meredith knew the look he got in his eye when he was feeling those things. What was hidden behind his frown now was something unfamiliar, something Meredith didn't quite comprehend. His expression mirrored Derek's pity expression. Why would Mark be pitying her? She was confused. She needed more caffeine.

"You take rejection pretty well," he commented slowly, as if each word was causing her some great emotional pain. Meredith gave a short laugh as she got to her feet and moved to the coffee machine. She poured herself a fresh cup and was in the middle of adding cream and sugar when she answered him.

"When you live a life that's as filled with rejection as mine is, you kind of get used to it." She took a long sip from her cup and rested her weight against the cart. Mark remained silent, a thoughtful frown upon his lips. Meredith licked coffee from her own lips suddenly unable to contain the beast inside her longing for kisses, touching, and sex. After losing something that you thought was forever, after losing Derek, she felt somewhat empty. The only way to feel full again was sex. And here Mark was, just waiting for her to pounce.

"I still feel bad." Meredith gave him a quizzical glance.

"Why?"

"I feel bad because I'm adding to that rejection." She waved him off and set her coffee down. She moved back to the wall and sat in front of him Indian style. Placing her hands on his knees, she spoke.

"I told you. I don't blame you for it. Derek and I...we had a lot of issues." Mark laughed, indicating that he was well aware of this fact. Something was still bothering her, though. He was still conveniently looking away from her. He was staring at a picture on the wall behind her, conveniently looking like he was staring at her but in reality he was looking just to her right. Moving her hands to grasp his face Meredith gave a victorious chuckle. "Stop avoiding my eyes. It makes me think you're hiding something." Holding his face in place forced him to look at her. Mark's eyes still held that odd, unfamiliar look.

Meredith decided she would change that look to one she was more familiar with. Pressing her lips firmly to his she expected one of two things. He would protest and make some excuse about how you should wait at least one day after a breakup to make out with another man either, or, what Meredith hoped for, he would kiss back. Mark did neither of these. Instead he accepted the kiss but didn't offer one back. When she pulled away, a question posed in her eyes, Mark's eyes were a different emotion. He looked sad. Why did Mark look sad?

"Meredith," he said slowly slipping out of her grasp and getting to his feet. He jammed his hands into his pockets. She stood as well, head tilted slightly to the side. "I have to tell you something." She nodded. He breathed out deeply. "You know how I said Addie told me she loved me?" Another nod. "Well, I love her too." Meredith nodded blindly again. "And I care about you, too, okay? You weren't just a fling to me. Okay, you started out that way." She nodded. He gave a small smile, she shadow of his real McGrin. "But it grew. I looked forward to our meetings in the hallway. I liked our talks, especially the one after the bar. Don't get me wrong, the sex was good. The sex was great." He sighed. Mark sighed in the way Meredith used to sigh when thinking about Derek. It was at that moment that the impact of what Mark was saying really hit her. Mark thought of Addison like she used to think about Derek. "But if I love someone who loves me back I can't just let that chance pass by, you know?"

Meredith nodded again. God, what was she? A bobble head doll? Mark moved toward the door. He stared back at her broken form, huddled against the wall to keep standing. The events of this day were just starting to take effect on Meredith Grey's body. Emotional pain was terrible because it could spread to become physical. Mark stared at her with a painful look in his eyes. "I'm sorry, Meredith." She knew he wasn't just saying that. She could see it in his eyes. She didn't respond but simply slid down the wall and buried her head in her arms, letting the tears flow freely and stain the carpet.

Mark hovered in the doorway for a long moment, torn between going after Addie and comforting Meredith. But after what he had just said he doubted she would let him near her. He left quietly, leaving Meredith to wallow in her miserable life. She kept seeing that pitied look in his eyes in her mind, kept picturing that sad look. Meredith reached a shaking hand up to the coffee cart and retrieved her cup. She took a slow sip, wishing caffeine could cure emotional problems as well as tiredness. Unfortunately it couldn't.

When one hurt, they both hurt.