Hey everybody here I am with chapter seven. Last chapter was major angst overload and we see Akito is introduced into the plot. This chapter is kind of fluffy with angst some angst and some subtle fluffy angst. Yeah this is going to be a bed made of cotton candy chapter this is more like a teddy bear wearing spikes kind of chapter actually maybe more like a teddy bear made of barbed wire. It does have a few cute moments but a lot of crying and regrest and remorse and flashbacks and dreams. Still its fluffy angst if thats even possible. Last chapter was WHAM! BAM! SLAP IN THE FACE! It may take awhile to get the rest of the story up with my work and the fact I need to hit the market and grab some more peppermint tea and some sugarcubes and cream. These are the esscence of my work and I'm running low. Well here is Chapter Seven.
Disclaimer: I do not claim to own any right on any aspect, plot or charater of Furuba. I am meerly a bored teenager who has no friends and therefore is a total technopagen geek!
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i know what its like to want to die. How it hurts to smile. How you try to fit in but you can't. How you hurt your self on the outside to try to kill the thing on the inside.
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" Hello Miss Hanajima. May I inquire to what you are doing here?" Yuki asked courteously at the psychic standing in the middle of the pathway leading from Shigure's to the city. He had been on his way to get some more bandages as Kyo was in need of them. He had not expected to come across Miss Hanajima heading towards there home. He thought it best that she didn't see anybody today. After all that had happened company wasn't something they needed.
" I am here to see my Tohru. I sensed something horridly wrong with her. You could only anticipate me to show up here if my Tohru-Chan is hurt or in peril of any kind." Hana said staring into Yuki's violet eyes with hers so cold and heartless. Just two tunneling chasms that lead to shadows. One would think she had no soul, her voice steady and without emotion. That small smirk he had seen once was nowhere in display and though she did not give the impression of being it, Yuki could see her spirit. It was worried she was losing her only clasp on sanity in this existence. She bowed her head away from his gaze.
" Perhaps now isn't the best time Miss Hanajima." Yuki said not wanting to make her think to worry more.
" I can sense them. So frightened…. frail…. she's pained…. like death is standing in front of her…. tormenting her psyche until it takes over. It hurts me…. to feel her hurting like this…. and not know why…to not try to help. I promised…. to take care of her…. to save her…to let her live. I swore to Kyoko…why?" Hana cried looking back up at Yuki. Those abysses' now shining filled with tears that had collected over years or the judgment of the worlds. " Why can't I see her Yuki? Why can't I do my job and protect her. Save her from the cruelties!" She let out a gasp of pain. (A/N: Like the one in the episode where she is fighting Uo in the graveyard so Tohru can run off.). " What is so wrong with wanting to be beside her right now. To hold her…comfort her. Why?" She dropped to her knees.
Yuki dropped beside Hana and placed a hand on her shoulder. " Sometimes the only way to make the pain go away is to get hurt. Then we can see it as just a scar on our past...we can forget. Miss Honda is sweet and innocent but she is no stranger to the harsh realities of life. I know you find it your duty to protect Honda-san but she needs to do this herself. She is quite capable of taking control...she knows how to deal with all those cruelties. I don't want to sound like a baka but you and Miss Uotoni don't really know who Miss Honda is anymore. She's grown up more than you can imagine. It's alright to feel compelled to protect her and sheild her away...hide her in false fantasies and fairy tales...but the pain is only worse. The more you run from it...the more it wants to find you."
Hana stared at the dusty path not raising her head at all to give Yuki the slightest implication she had heard a word he had said to her. " I...I know. I fool myself into thinking that she needs me...that I'll always be there because she needs protection. All aong I just never wanted Tohru to grow up...I needed somebody to need me. I just selfish...I always have been. She was the only one to accept me. She didn't care about my past and what I had almost done."
Flashback
" The past is just that Hana-chan now we have a future to build. Yesterday is just a memory...but tomorrow is a dream. I don't care who you were then...who anyone else thought you were. You're here now with me and we're going to be best friends. I think your powers are cool. I wish I could be just like you. Just think Hana-chan when the sun falls and the moon rises all the pains of today are like bad dreams. They come they go some stay but they aren't real anymore because tomorrow is the dream that chases the monsters away."
Flashback
" I wanted her all to myself. I was trying to convince myself that she would always be young and naive and that she would need me...forever. I hated that I was losing her to you and Kyo. They way she talked to you...the sweet smiles she gives to him and the giggles she lets him hear...they were mine. Suddenly she was so distant from us...she was so different from the girl I promised to look after. Sure she smiled and she laughed and she chatted about the stupidist things like she always did...but it was different. Everything she used to give me was now given to you...and Kyo. I wanted to hate you all so bad...there were times I wished you like that boy..but then I would see her" Hana shoulders shoke." See her...talking to you...smiling shyly at Kyo while he blushed...hearing her giggle at him. I'd see her with her hand clasped with his...walking to her work or occasionally to home...when she gave herself a night off. I couldn't do it...I couldn't bring myself to hate you two. She was so happy. Her mom's death had taken a piece of her soul. When she came to be with you and Kyo her eyes sparkled more and her smiles were brighter...brighter than even before the accident. She would skip around...humming some song her mother used to sing to us. I had to let her go to keep her with me...but I need her Yuki." Hana looked up at Yuki.
Yuki pulled back slightly in shock. He had never see Miss Hanajima andywhere remotely close as to on the verge of tears. Yet there they were in the middle of the dirt path and her eyes were filled with them. He didn't know what to do.
" Tohru was everything to me...my life...my world. Now I'm losing her to fast...letting go is hard...and I won't leave without a fight...without knowing she has someone there for her. I don't want to Yuki. The place she has in my heart is to big for me to let her walk away...but in keeping her...she's just a hostage and I'll still lose."
Yuki didn't know why but he placed a warm and gentle caressing hand on Hana's pale and cold almost lifeless cheek. He brought her dark eyes to stare directly into his violet ones. He watched as her face crumbled and her lips trembled.
" Yuki...I don't wanna fall again...I don't want to be alone anymore. I hate the dark but I've lost the light. Please...please...I don't want to hurt like this anymore...don't leave me alone." Hana whimpered.
Yuki couldn't control himself..he was aware Hana knew of the Sohma curse so that was no hinderance. For a moment Hana had warmth and love seeping through. For a moment she had been cradled againist a giving person...for a moment the darkness had faded away in a cloud of gray-violet smoke.
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" Come on Kyo you have to eat." Tohru whimpered holding the leek soup beneath his nose. She smiled a bit as his nose wrinkled in disgust. Just cause he wasn't conscious didn't mean he couldn't still smell that damn stuff.
Is she trying to kill me, the ginger kitten thought. Damn I wish I could wake up. I thought I told her to stop being so nice. Come on Tohru smack me or something…kick me…get Yuki to throw me out a window. That should wake me up….or throw me into a deeper coma. Hmm something tells me I need to revise me plan. Suddenly he let out a cute little cat sneeze and Tohru took the opportunity to shove some leek soup down his throat.
Ugh! Damn woman are you trying to kill me for gods sake. What the hell are you doing shoving that crap down my throat. You are going to be my death you know that Tohru.
" That must have been awful." She said cheerily. " I guess you weren't expecting that huh Kyo-kun." She stroked the sensitive spot right behind his ear and listened to him purr. " Get better Kyo." She turned her hand to scratch his chin. " Remember when I was really sick….and you made me that leek soup just so I'd get well."
Flashback
Just get better and be happy again…or else I won't be.
Flashback
Yea Kyo said to himself. I remember…it's true when you're not smiling I get sad because your sad.
" Well I order you to get better because I won't be happy either…not until you and Yuki are trying to mutilate each other again. It's too quite with out you mai kawaii neko. So you know what that means…Yep more leek soup and hot chocolate.
Fine but only if you shut up. Kyo said knowing she couldn't hear his thoughts. Just don't be so nice….try to choke me next time or something."
" Miss Honda." A muffled Yuki said. " You really should be resting now."
" Okay. Come on Kyo time to sleep." She picked up the cat and cradled him in her arms and held him to her chest like a mother would hold a newborn babe. She placed a kiss on his forehead and pressed her nose against his as she climbed into bed an gently laid him beside her. " Good night Kyo." She whispered before falling into deep dream-filled slumber.
Kyo snuggled against Tohru wishing he could see her…wanting to wake from this damn parallel universe of not life but not death just….existance. Good night koi.
" It's all your fault Kyo!"
" No it's not…I didn't do it!"
" Yes you did. Look what you've caused."
" No it's not my fault!"
" You killed her….you monster."
" No it wasn't me! It's not my fault! It's not my fault!"
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" Poor woman..giving birth to the cat."
" I told her to get rid of him the day that thing was born."
" His own mother…it just isn't human."
" Whoever said he was human."
" Monster he's gone an killed my beloveded."
" He deserves no compassion from us."
" No! It's not my fault! I didn't do it!"
" Why of course its your fault. You can hide from it all you want but you know who you are. Inside there is nothing about you that is human…you're just a poor excuse…as poor as Kazuma-sans grandfather was. She didn't love you…she was afraid of you. She couldn't stand the sight of you….she feared for her life. She knew what you were….you're a monster…a killer. You are not worth the air you breath. Disgusting…..hideous. Run for they all want you dead. She was such a sweet woman Kyo-kun. Why did you do it…what possessed you to kill her."
" I DIDN'T KILL HER! IT WASN'T MY FAULT! IT'S NOT MY FAULT! IT'S NOT MY FAULT!"
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Where the hell am I. Why now do I have to remember all of this. Why can't all those memories just go away. It didn't kill her…she was mom. Even if she could never accept me I still loved her. She gave me life..this was the woman who cared for me in my years of vulnerability. Why would I kill her. GIVE ME ONE GOD DAMN REASON WHY!
You can't help it Kyo. It's in your blood. You have a desire to slaughter…to inflict pain upon those closest to you. Retribution is sweet is not. To watch them suffer as you have. To see them begging at your feet for mercy as more blood is spilt. To see their perfect lives stained and shattered as yours. Like that Honda girl..why does she deserve to be happy. Why isn't she suffering like the rest of us.
No! Dammit get out of my head you basterd.!
I don't think so. You are bound to me like the Junnyshi. I have the power to kill you right now…I can make you kill her…and I would just stand and laugh as you crumbled underneath my power and eliminated the one person you care most about in the world. She doesn't love you..it's her fear that makes her help you. Just like you mother precious Kyo she fears for her life. She doesn't care wheather you die or not…which is probably why your still in this coma. She's not trying to save you…she's making your death slow and painful.
NO! THAT"S NOT TOHRU! STOP TALKING ABOUT HER! WHAT GIVES YOU ANY RIGHT TO SAY THOSE THINGS ABOUT HER! IF YOU HURT HER IN ANY WAY AKITO I"LL….
You'll what….kill me. I would like to see you try. You can't even get out of bed…or defeat my weak little Yuki what makes you think you can defeat me. You really are a baka Kyo. Don't expect me to enjoy these games for long. Someday I shall grow bored of them. Just pray you're awake when I do. I dislike easy kills.
Who the hell are you calling easy basterd!
Why you Kyo. You are far from a Martial Artist I don't see why Kazuma waste's his time on a worthless creature like you.
GET THE HELL OUTTA MT HEAD!
No.
" Oh Kyo please snap out of it! What could you be dreaming that could hurt this bad. Kyo!" Tohru cried. She didn't know what to do anymore. Kyo was in this stupid coma having nightmares that were killing him. How could a nightmare kill him…it was impossible. It was just a bad dream…it wasn't real…just a colletion of fears. Dreams can't hurt people though. They aren't real.
Cat Kyo let' out another anguished cry and Tohru's eyes start filling with tears.
She had seen Shigure's reaction even though no one new she was watching. He knew something…about what was happening to Kyo, but he wasn't telling anyone. Tohru stood up shakily gripping the bed…the result of only getting up once in eight hours. I have to find out...for Kyo's sake. I need to know what Shigure does…maybe then I can save him.
Great which tormenting memory is this now. Kyo looked around at his surroundings and froze.
No it…it can't be. Not this one please. Don't make me remember this.
He saw the gray sky signaling there had been a storm. The rain-soaked ground beneath his feet and the shimmering leaves. He looked ahead there as the small lake I guess you would call it. He could assume exactly what memory this was…and he had to watch it.
The monster came bounding out of the woods and skidded to halt bounding onto a rock trying to escape that girl. What he found was a violet-haired pretty boy nezumi blocking his path. He turned to try and excape him only to run into the girl that he couldn't face She just stood there…the fear so evident in her teary eyes. She grabbed hold of the arm of that hideous beast. He tried to throw her off…thrashing her about. Slamming her into the ground while the nezumi grabbed his leg to keep him from running. He thrashed about more.
From his standpoint Kyo could see every hit Tohru took…could see all the pain in her features as she was continuously slammed into rock and tree and earth.
Did I do that to her. Did I hurt her that bad. How could I have done that to her. She's terrified and in so much pain and I just kept hurting her. Look at how hard she's trying not to cry.
Tohru lets out a wounded and agonized cry as she is slammed into the ground once more. I just let her almost kill herself…and I enjoyed it.
Kyo's knees slammed into the earth as the picture began to fade. I am a monster…cold and heartless….all I wanted to do was kill. I don't deserve to live. All I do is get in their way and destroy there pointless…ignorant….happy lives. All I have is a desire to kill….and I will one last time…
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Tohru didn't even bother knocking on the door she just hesitantly stepped into Shigure's room a little apprehensive of what she may find. " SHIGURE." She said in a loud whisper.
" No…no…mommy want teddy bear." He mumbled. " Winnie…my….bear."
" SHIGURE." She repeated a little louder.
He just rolled over.
" SHIGURE SOHMA WAKE UP RIGHT NOW OR I"LL STOP MAKING BREAKFAST!"
Shigure rolled of his bed with a loud thud. " NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Please sweet flower don't threaten me like that." Shigure looked around. " What are you doing in my room."
" YOU PEDOPHILE! WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO MISS HONDA!" Yuki said angrily. He had woken up at Tohru's shout from Shigure's room and when he got there Shigure was on the floor tangled with the sheets and Tohru's clothes where slightly disarrayed from Kyo but he didn't know that.
Tohru placed a hand on Yuki's arm. " It's okay he didn't do anything Yuki."
Yuki looked down at Tohru's teary eyes. " Uh."
" That's the problem Yuki."
Yuki turned to face Tohru placing his arms on her shoulders. " M...M...Miss Honda." He said softly as the tears began to roll down her face.
She turned away to look at Shigure. " You know something don't you." She cried. " You know why Kyo's hurting like this." She dropped to her knees in front of him and clenched her fists on top of them. " Why won't you tell me. I can't stand to see him in all this pain. Tears don't easily come from Kyo's eyes but they're pouring. Please Shigure tell me." She whispered her face now stained with the rivers falling from her large brown eyes. " Why won't you tell me?" She repeated again softly her voice thick and strained.
Yuki knelt beside Tohru and placed his arms around her shoulders. He rested his forehead in her hair as she cried. He looked back up at Shigure who only looked away. " What's wrong with Kyo?"
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Kyo why don't you just give up. You can't deny who you really are. You are a cold and heartless monster. Once you truley accept that...it won't hurt so much. I'll shelter you away from the cruelties of the world. I'm your friend Kyo...I care...
no...
What
n...no
No what Kyo.
You're not my friend...you don't care. Is killing me...locking me up forever in a cage. Is that what you call caring. Just because you weren't given a choice about baring this stupid curse. Do you think the rest of us enjoy it. Do you think we don't suffer enough basterd. Why don't you try to listen to your family instead of trying to kill them off. Instead of destroying their minds and breaking their spirits why don't you try loving them.
Because you don't deserve to be happy. None of you deserve love. Why should I give it to you. Tell me Kyo why shouldn't they suffer.
Tohru...
What has that ugly...stupid...girl have to do with this.
Tohru...
Stop it
She...has everything to do with this...
'Stop It!' A shadow came a gleaming blade resting in its hand.
Tohru...
The figure advanced slowly and menacingly the cold silver glimmering. ' You defy me...I don't tolerate defiance. These may be your dreams but I have the power here my precious Kyo. I can make you suffer...torture you...kill you here...and you'll feel the pain. This is a nightmare you won't wake up from.
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" Akito."
Tohru and Yuki looked back up at Shigure who had placed two cups of tea in front of them. This was going to be a long night and a lot to handle. He was worried it would be to much for Tohru after all she had been put through.
" Akito." Yuki said not surprised at all. He knew just what Akito to do. He had spent his childhood being his 'pet'. He was there to talk to...to hurt when he was angry. He could remember the pain...touture. Yuki didn't want to but he empathized with the cat...he knew what Kyo was going through.
" Akito-san...but how?" Tohru whispered softly as she snuggled into the blanket Yuki had offered her. She had the steaming tea cup cozied in her hand. Her eyes were red and puffy and they still glittered with tears.
Yuki sent Tohru a concerned look as she tried hard to keep herself together...tried to stay strong...for Kyo. He had wanted to hold her to him. Even with this curse just to comfort her. She was Kyo's though even if those two were to blind to see it or to proud to admit it...or in Tohru's case a little dense and naive to recognize it. They were obviously in love with each other. Kyo beat him fair and square. He accepted his defeat and kept his hands off. That doesn't mean he couldn't want to...couldn't sit and wish she was his. He could try to win her over but that would be cheap while Kyo was lying in bed...the threat of being killed in his sleep at any moment.
" Akito has a bond with all of us belonging to the Junnyshi. Being the head of the family he has a connection to us which he can acces at anytime. He can invade our thoughts and walk into our dreams. Unlike most people who if they die in their dreams they just wake up the next day a little shakey and maybe creeped out but they wake up. Akito can come and influence our decisions...can cause us pain...if he wants to he can kill us. If we die in our dreams by his hand...we don't wake up." Shigure said. " Along with that responsibilty comes power...terrible power."
Tohru's eyes had widened as Shigure told his tale. They filled with fear for Kyo and an emotion the two Sohma's never thought they would ever see inside their sweet innocent onigiri's eyes. Tohru's eyes were filled with a burning hatred a fire for Kyo's situation and all the pain Akito was putting him through. She cried...whisper tears...sliding down staining the wood and salting her tea. " Why Kyo though...what had Kyo done?"
" I don't know." Shigure answered. " Hatori and I are trying to find this out. Usually it is Yuki that Akito comes too. Akito has a thing for Yuki."
Yuki's eyes filled with the fear of the memories of the days spent with Akito. The nights spent huddle in the dark corner knowing Aki would come back most likely with a whip or some other device of touture.
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The shadow smirked as Kyo stood his ground scowling at him. The white walls faded and where replaced by the wooden walls and the calligraphy papers decorating the walls. He could see Akito's futon on which he spent most of his days lying upon in illness.
Why the hell am I here?
Because I feel even more in power here Kyo. This is my room...my sancutuary. My esscence fills this place.
Kyo went to take a step forward but found he couldn't.
The figure's smirk widened.
Why the hell can't I move bastard? You afraid I'm gonna kick your ass you got to make sure I can't fight back.
Akito delivered a punch to Kyo's face. ' You stupid cat. You think I fear you.' The figure laughed. He pressed the cool silver steel to Kyo's throat. 'I can do it Kyo. I can end it all right now and you know what? I'll laugh as you bleed and struggle to stay alive for that stupid girl. I'll laugh.'
Monster.
Akito's grip on Kyo's neck tightened so that the cat couldn't breathe. He was choking for air that wasn't coming. He slid the knife lightly across Kyo's pale cheek. The cut slowly dripped blood down his face. It had hurt as Akito dug deeper into his flesh but he refused to acknowledge any pain. 'What was that Kyo.'
Cold...Heartless
Akito brought the blade lower and sliced a deep gash across Kyo's abs. He grew furious as all Kyo did was grit his teeth. Why wouldn't that stupid neko break down...beg for mercy. Akito smirked again hiding his anger from the tenacious cat. He sauntered up a hairbreadth away from Kyo. He brought his face to his ear.
Monster!
Akito took the knife and plunged it shallowly into Kyo's back. 'Would you like to repeat that.' he whispered plunging it in just a little deeper before swiftly pulling it out and pushing Kyo's open wound into the hard wooden walls of his room. Akito left with an evil smile as the cat cried out.
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Tohru's hands were shaking as they were wrapped around the cup of tea she had yet to touch. I wish there was something I could do to save Kyo.
The silence was broken by a loud poof and a loud screaming cry of pain.
Tohru jumped up and let her tea glass fall and shatter into a million pieces as she rushed up to her room. Oh god what's happening now? That's the worse I've heard Kyo scream...even worse then when he transformed.
Yuki and Shigure had jumped up too but Tohru didn't wait for them. They were half way up the steps when they heard Tohru scream.
" Oh my god Kyo!" Tohru screamed. " Kyo!". Tohru ran across the room to her chair beside the bed. Oh my god. Tohru let out loud painful body-racking sobs. Her bed was ruined there was so much blood and the crisp yellow sheets she had put on to replace her cherry blossum ones after the other ordeal were soaked with the crimson stains. She cried harder as she saw the slice on his cheek and the gash in his stomach. She cried at his screams telling her just how much pain he was in. She placed her head on his shoulder just for him to let out the worst cry yet. She rolled him slighlty and saw the penetration wound in his below his shoulder. Her tears were full force falling onto his face. " Kyo...Kyo! You can't leave me please. You can't Kyo! I need you. You promised you'd always be here for me! You can't die dammit you can't!" She screamed.
Yuki and Shigure bounded into Kyo's room the scene from a half a week ago replaying ten times worse.
" Is he going to live Shigure? I've never seen Akito do this much." Yuki asked watching Tohru fall apart over Kyo's dying body.
" I don't know Yuki. This is a first." Shigure said solemnly. " Kyo hasn't got much time."
If that kuso baka neko dies. I'll beat him with his own corpse and make sure his afterlife is just as much a hell as this one. He can't put Miss Honda through the death of another person she loves. You promised her you'd always stand by her side...that no matter what you were there. Don't leave her now...Kyo.
I told you I would laugh as I watched you bleed. Let's she that stupid girl save you now.
Kyo gritted his teeth to muffle the cry of pain as he gripped his shoulder.
Smirking the figure watched as the neko fell on his knees unable to support himself anymore.
Tohru...I'm sorry.
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No I didn't kill Kyo but I feel bad about doing this too him. This serves a purpose though it eventually knocks Tohru into realizing that she is in love with Kyo, it makes Yuki look noble, it was an interesting way to introduce Akito into the story. It gives Kyo an argument when Tohru confronts him and it gives me an oppurtunity to introduce some fluff into the story later on. No I know this chapter kind of sucked but this is more like an angsty action filler chapter I have this really cute scene between Kyo and Tohru but I have to get there first and thats the hard part it might not come up until chapter ten or eleven. Sorry I'll try to update fatser. Sorry for the bad chapter.