Title: How The Heck Did I Get Stuck With You?!
By: Youkai-Youshimi
Summary: Sesshoumaru has always hated humans. But what will happen when he's thrown into a ball-like prison with a certain human miko? Kagome has never really feared any demons in all her years fighting for Shikon Shards. After finally gathering all the shards, the Shikon No Tama's original creator, Midoriko, places her and her worst nightmare in a ball-like prison until they figure out how to get out. Will she be able to break his heart of ice? Or will she and Sesshoumaru be stuck together for the rest of their lives in this ball-like prison?
Opening Credits:
Inu: If you're happy and you know it, kill Sesshoumaru.
Sesshoumaru: If I'm happy and I know it, I'll just kill you and be done with it.
Kagome: If I'm happy and I know it, I'll leave you two egotistical bastards and go to IHOP.
Inu, Sess: We are not egotistical!
Kagome: *not here*
Inu, Sess: Then where the fuck are you?!
Kagome: I told you, IHOP.
InuYasha: What's IHOP?
Kagome: International House Of Pancakes.
InuYasha: What are pancakes?
Kagome: It's a breakfast food made out of batter which is made out of flour.
InuYasha: What's flour?
Kagome: Shutup...
InuYasha: What's shutup?
Kagome: InuYasha? *sweetly*
InuYasha: Yes? *shaky*
Kagome: SIT!!!
InuYasha: *THUD!* What was that for, wench?!
Kagome: 'Cause you're being a dumbass!
Youkai-Kagome: Ok, that's enough! We're getting to my disclaimer before you start anything else!
Sesshoumaru: You just noticed that InuYasha's a dumbass? I can't believe this! So naive and young!
Kagome: Who are you calling naive? I at least know something!
Sesshoumaru: And what would that be?
Kagome: You need a shower! You smell like a babboon!
Sesshoumaru: Grrrr...
Youkai-Kagome: SHUTUP!!! Now that we've gotten our kicks in, let's get onto the disclaimer.
Megan: *maniacally* Hi...
Youkai-Kagome: Oook....that was definitely weird..
Audience: AGGGGHHHH!!!!!
Youkai-Kagome: Megan, you must control your manical nature. You're scaring my audience away!!!
Megan: What audience? *Turns around, sees audience and waves* Hi...*maniacally*
Youkai-Kagome: I'm never putting you in here again...
Sesshoumaru: Oh, please do. I'm quite enjoying her maniacal talking. *Looks at Megan, realizing she's giving him that scary dreamy look of hers, quickly says* Oh, no...Don't even THINK about going that way! I'm predestined to be with somebody *hint, hint*
Megan: *Dissappointed* Damn!
Sesshoumaru: Take dog-breath over there! *Points to InuYasha*
Megan: Ewwwww! I don't want a boyfriend/mate who smells like dog breath!!!! *backs far, far away quickly*
InuYasha: What the fuck is so damn bad about my breath?! I don't see anything wrong with it!
Kagome: That's because you don't know your own breath, you dumbass! Even Kouga coulda told you your breath stank! You seriously need a Tic Tac!
InuYasha: What's a Tic Tac?
Kagome: Oh, shutup! Or do I have to use the "s" word? *Glares evilly* Oh, how I enjoy saying the "s" word...*evilly*
InuYasha: Yes, ma'am! *Backing away next to Megan*
Megan: *Obnoxiously* Hey, he doesn't smell so bad...In fact, he smells like prunes!
InuYasha: WHAT?!
Megan: But it's the truth!
Sesshoumaru: Gee, that's a first!
Kagome: *Whacks Sesshoumaru upside the head* Mind your p's and q's, mister. Or I'll s-- you too!
Sesshoumaru: No thanks...InuYasha does a better face plant into the ground than I do. I don't have time to fall into the ground, my hair constantly needs combing and beautifying and anything else I can think of.
Megan: Oh God. You and your hair! All you care about is your Goddamn hair! No one gives a shit about your fuckin' hair!
Sesshoumaru: Shutup, or I will permanently shut you up!
Megan: Yes, ma'am!
Sesshoumaru: I will not be referred to as "ma'am" but as "sir", is that clear?! *pissed*
Youkai-Kagome: Ooh, you've gotten on his bad side, I'd watch what I say if I were you...
InuYasha: Oh, shutup already! We've got a story to get to!! The readers are tired of your charade!
Kagome, Sess: Ooh, where'd you learn the vocabulary from, InuYasha? I'm surprised you know anything at all, being the baka you are and all...
Youkai-Kagome: Ok, shutup. We're getting to the story! No and's, if's, or but's!! I'm tired of your stupid shananigans(?) and I want to continue with the story! See you guys at ending credits!
Megan: *Pervertedly* Hi...
Youkai-Kagome: Would you SHUTUP?!
Megan: No...
Youkai-Kagome: Ok. *Gets whip and whips Megan good in the tushy* Now, that we've got that settled, SHUTUP!!!
Megan: *Rubbing tushy* Yes, sir.
Youkai-Kagome: *Glares* *Oh, I'll get you at ending credits, mwuhahahahahahahahahaha!!!*
Megan: *Hides behind InuYasha*
InuYasha: *Refuses to let her hide* Gotta face your fears eventually, wench.
Megan: WHAT?! *Slaps InuYasha hard in the face*
InuYasha: I don't think I deserved that.
Kagome: Yes, you did now shut the fuck up and SIT!!!!!!
InuYasha: *THUD!!!*
Megan: InuYasha? *Maniacal grin*
InuYasha: What?! *rudely*
Megan: SIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
InuYasha: *THUD, THUD, THUMP!!* Owwwww, my head!!!!
Everybody: Moron....Serves ya right!
-TBC
Disclaimer: I do not own InuYasha or any of these troublesome characters here before you. They belong to Rumiko Takahashi and therefore she has to put up with them. Don't sue. Thank You and have a nice day.
Chapter 2: Day One
It was the beginning of day one, but to Kagome it was the beginning of all her troubles. She was stuck with an egotistical bastard who cared about nothing else besides his precious lands. And, what's worse? She's stuck with him until they figure out what they have to do in order to get out of this ball-like prison! For all she knew, she would have to mate with the bastard just to get out of here. (A/N: Oh, you don't know how right you are, deary! I'm evil, aren't I?)
Sesshoumaru thought he was just dreaming this whole thing up when he awoke. But when he awoke, he found the same whitish ball-like prison he was trapped in by Midoriko last night, for reasons unknown. 'Why do I have to spend eternity with some human miko when she's just going to die anyway! What would she be of use to him anyway?! She didn't know how to use any weapons properly that mikos normally use! Whoever has been instructing her hasn't done a very decent job (Aka Kaede, whom InuYasha frequently calls "An Old Hag")!'
Kagome could feel Sesshoumaru boring holes in her head and finally got ticked off about it. "Are you just gonna stare at me or do you have something to say?! 'Cause if you do, I suggest you either speak up or hold your peace and one more thing: STOP BORING HOLES IN MY HEAD!" Kagome screamed, nearly deafening poor Sesshoumaru (A/N: For those of you who don't know, youkai/hanyou have very, VERY sensitive ears.).
"I am not boring holes through your head, so do shutup and stop deafening me! Stupid tempermental bitch..." he muttered the last three words angrily. It was apparently clear at this time that they had a distaste for each other, but who's to say their feelings won't change towards each other later?
"I heard that! If I'm a stupid tempermental bitch, then that makes you a sorry ass egotistical bastard! Really! You're sooo concerned about your precious lands! Don't you think that *I* actually have better things to do besides hear your bellyaching and grumbling all the time?! It's not MY fault we were put in here!! Blame Midoriko!!" Kagome screached.
'Yes, blame Midoriko, the all powerful miko who created the Shikon No Tama. What you don't know is that this is for a purpose, hehe.' Midoriko thought half mischievously. She most certainly wanted these two to go to town, if you know what I mean *wink, wink*. But, she knew, of course, that love comes slowly (A/N: Yes, I have a book by Janet Oke called "Loves Comes Softly", so I'm pulling it from this story. Thank you, Janet Oke!).
'They'll thank me later,' she thought giving them their supply of food for the day. You would think Sesshoumaru and Kagome would fight over the food but they didn't see the point in doing so since there was enough food to last them both the day. They split the food like good little boys and girls. But appearances were very decieving. Each one was in their own thoughts wondering how and why they had to be stuck with the other and how to get rid of him/her. 'Maybe, if I poison her food...No...She's too smart for that. She can sense poison, a rare miko ability that may prevent some disasterous death from occuring.'
'Hmm, what can I do to Sesshoumaru that will kill him? Nothing. Nothing I do will get me out of this prison. I might as well get used to the fact that I'm stuck with him for the rest of my life.' Kagome thought miserably.
'Besides, no matter what I do to get rid of her is going to get me out of here. Midoriko's spell that trapped us in here is only meant for good. No killing, evil, etc.' Sesshoumaru thought angrily.
'*Sigh* So much for day one. They're not even going to town yet!" thought Midoriko to herself. 'What do I have to do to get these two together? Hmmm....'
-End Chapter
-Ending Credits:
Megan: *Pervertedly* Hi....
Kagome: Oh DO shutup! You're worse than InuYasha!
InuYasha: Hehe *quietly*
Megan: *Glares at InuYasha* SIT!!!!!
InuYasha: *THUD!!!!!* Owwww, what the fuck was that for, wench?!?!?!
Megan: Because you're being mean and disrespectful!
InuYasha: You're not an old hag so I don't see why I have to pay you any type of respect!
Megan: SIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
InuYasha: *THUD!!!! **InuYasha-shaped crater** * *Mutters a million curse words*
Sesshoumaru: Now, now dear brother. Mind your manners in front of women. You don't want to be sat again, do you? *tauntingly*
InuYasha: *Sarcastically* Sure, why not? I just love eating dirt!
Megan: You do? Here, have some more!
InuYasha: O_O'
Megan: SIT, SIT, SIT, SIT, SIT, SIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
InuYasha: *THUD, THUD, THUD, THUD, THUD, THUD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!* Owwww....
Megan: You said you loved dirt and you got it!
Everybody: Moron......
Youkai-Kagome: Check in next time for the antics of Inu and Company!
By: Youkai-Youshimi
Summary: Sesshoumaru has always hated humans. But what will happen when he's thrown into a ball-like prison with a certain human miko? Kagome has never really feared any demons in all her years fighting for Shikon Shards. After finally gathering all the shards, the Shikon No Tama's original creator, Midoriko, places her and her worst nightmare in a ball-like prison until they figure out how to get out. Will she be able to break his heart of ice? Or will she and Sesshoumaru be stuck together for the rest of their lives in this ball-like prison?
Opening Credits:
Inu: If you're happy and you know it, kill Sesshoumaru.
Sesshoumaru: If I'm happy and I know it, I'll just kill you and be done with it.
Kagome: If I'm happy and I know it, I'll leave you two egotistical bastards and go to IHOP.
Inu, Sess: We are not egotistical!
Kagome: *not here*
Inu, Sess: Then where the fuck are you?!
Kagome: I told you, IHOP.
InuYasha: What's IHOP?
Kagome: International House Of Pancakes.
InuYasha: What are pancakes?
Kagome: It's a breakfast food made out of batter which is made out of flour.
InuYasha: What's flour?
Kagome: Shutup...
InuYasha: What's shutup?
Kagome: InuYasha? *sweetly*
InuYasha: Yes? *shaky*
Kagome: SIT!!!
InuYasha: *THUD!* What was that for, wench?!
Kagome: 'Cause you're being a dumbass!
Youkai-Kagome: Ok, that's enough! We're getting to my disclaimer before you start anything else!
Sesshoumaru: You just noticed that InuYasha's a dumbass? I can't believe this! So naive and young!
Kagome: Who are you calling naive? I at least know something!
Sesshoumaru: And what would that be?
Kagome: You need a shower! You smell like a babboon!
Sesshoumaru: Grrrr...
Youkai-Kagome: SHUTUP!!! Now that we've gotten our kicks in, let's get onto the disclaimer.
Megan: *maniacally* Hi...
Youkai-Kagome: Oook....that was definitely weird..
Audience: AGGGGHHHH!!!!!
Youkai-Kagome: Megan, you must control your manical nature. You're scaring my audience away!!!
Megan: What audience? *Turns around, sees audience and waves* Hi...*maniacally*
Youkai-Kagome: I'm never putting you in here again...
Sesshoumaru: Oh, please do. I'm quite enjoying her maniacal talking. *Looks at Megan, realizing she's giving him that scary dreamy look of hers, quickly says* Oh, no...Don't even THINK about going that way! I'm predestined to be with somebody *hint, hint*
Megan: *Dissappointed* Damn!
Sesshoumaru: Take dog-breath over there! *Points to InuYasha*
Megan: Ewwwww! I don't want a boyfriend/mate who smells like dog breath!!!! *backs far, far away quickly*
InuYasha: What the fuck is so damn bad about my breath?! I don't see anything wrong with it!
Kagome: That's because you don't know your own breath, you dumbass! Even Kouga coulda told you your breath stank! You seriously need a Tic Tac!
InuYasha: What's a Tic Tac?
Kagome: Oh, shutup! Or do I have to use the "s" word? *Glares evilly* Oh, how I enjoy saying the "s" word...*evilly*
InuYasha: Yes, ma'am! *Backing away next to Megan*
Megan: *Obnoxiously* Hey, he doesn't smell so bad...In fact, he smells like prunes!
InuYasha: WHAT?!
Megan: But it's the truth!
Sesshoumaru: Gee, that's a first!
Kagome: *Whacks Sesshoumaru upside the head* Mind your p's and q's, mister. Or I'll s-- you too!
Sesshoumaru: No thanks...InuYasha does a better face plant into the ground than I do. I don't have time to fall into the ground, my hair constantly needs combing and beautifying and anything else I can think of.
Megan: Oh God. You and your hair! All you care about is your Goddamn hair! No one gives a shit about your fuckin' hair!
Sesshoumaru: Shutup, or I will permanently shut you up!
Megan: Yes, ma'am!
Sesshoumaru: I will not be referred to as "ma'am" but as "sir", is that clear?! *pissed*
Youkai-Kagome: Ooh, you've gotten on his bad side, I'd watch what I say if I were you...
InuYasha: Oh, shutup already! We've got a story to get to!! The readers are tired of your charade!
Kagome, Sess: Ooh, where'd you learn the vocabulary from, InuYasha? I'm surprised you know anything at all, being the baka you are and all...
Youkai-Kagome: Ok, shutup. We're getting to the story! No and's, if's, or but's!! I'm tired of your stupid shananigans(?) and I want to continue with the story! See you guys at ending credits!
Megan: *Pervertedly* Hi...
Youkai-Kagome: Would you SHUTUP?!
Megan: No...
Youkai-Kagome: Ok. *Gets whip and whips Megan good in the tushy* Now, that we've got that settled, SHUTUP!!!
Megan: *Rubbing tushy* Yes, sir.
Youkai-Kagome: *Glares* *Oh, I'll get you at ending credits, mwuhahahahahahahahahaha!!!*
Megan: *Hides behind InuYasha*
InuYasha: *Refuses to let her hide* Gotta face your fears eventually, wench.
Megan: WHAT?! *Slaps InuYasha hard in the face*
InuYasha: I don't think I deserved that.
Kagome: Yes, you did now shut the fuck up and SIT!!!!!!
InuYasha: *THUD!!!*
Megan: InuYasha? *Maniacal grin*
InuYasha: What?! *rudely*
Megan: SIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
InuYasha: *THUD, THUD, THUMP!!* Owwwww, my head!!!!
Everybody: Moron....Serves ya right!
-TBC
Disclaimer: I do not own InuYasha or any of these troublesome characters here before you. They belong to Rumiko Takahashi and therefore she has to put up with them. Don't sue. Thank You and have a nice day.
Chapter 2: Day One
It was the beginning of day one, but to Kagome it was the beginning of all her troubles. She was stuck with an egotistical bastard who cared about nothing else besides his precious lands. And, what's worse? She's stuck with him until they figure out what they have to do in order to get out of this ball-like prison! For all she knew, she would have to mate with the bastard just to get out of here. (A/N: Oh, you don't know how right you are, deary! I'm evil, aren't I?)
Sesshoumaru thought he was just dreaming this whole thing up when he awoke. But when he awoke, he found the same whitish ball-like prison he was trapped in by Midoriko last night, for reasons unknown. 'Why do I have to spend eternity with some human miko when she's just going to die anyway! What would she be of use to him anyway?! She didn't know how to use any weapons properly that mikos normally use! Whoever has been instructing her hasn't done a very decent job (Aka Kaede, whom InuYasha frequently calls "An Old Hag")!'
Kagome could feel Sesshoumaru boring holes in her head and finally got ticked off about it. "Are you just gonna stare at me or do you have something to say?! 'Cause if you do, I suggest you either speak up or hold your peace and one more thing: STOP BORING HOLES IN MY HEAD!" Kagome screamed, nearly deafening poor Sesshoumaru (A/N: For those of you who don't know, youkai/hanyou have very, VERY sensitive ears.).
"I am not boring holes through your head, so do shutup and stop deafening me! Stupid tempermental bitch..." he muttered the last three words angrily. It was apparently clear at this time that they had a distaste for each other, but who's to say their feelings won't change towards each other later?
"I heard that! If I'm a stupid tempermental bitch, then that makes you a sorry ass egotistical bastard! Really! You're sooo concerned about your precious lands! Don't you think that *I* actually have better things to do besides hear your bellyaching and grumbling all the time?! It's not MY fault we were put in here!! Blame Midoriko!!" Kagome screached.
'Yes, blame Midoriko, the all powerful miko who created the Shikon No Tama. What you don't know is that this is for a purpose, hehe.' Midoriko thought half mischievously. She most certainly wanted these two to go to town, if you know what I mean *wink, wink*. But, she knew, of course, that love comes slowly (A/N: Yes, I have a book by Janet Oke called "Loves Comes Softly", so I'm pulling it from this story. Thank you, Janet Oke!).
'They'll thank me later,' she thought giving them their supply of food for the day. You would think Sesshoumaru and Kagome would fight over the food but they didn't see the point in doing so since there was enough food to last them both the day. They split the food like good little boys and girls. But appearances were very decieving. Each one was in their own thoughts wondering how and why they had to be stuck with the other and how to get rid of him/her. 'Maybe, if I poison her food...No...She's too smart for that. She can sense poison, a rare miko ability that may prevent some disasterous death from occuring.'
'Hmm, what can I do to Sesshoumaru that will kill him? Nothing. Nothing I do will get me out of this prison. I might as well get used to the fact that I'm stuck with him for the rest of my life.' Kagome thought miserably.
'Besides, no matter what I do to get rid of her is going to get me out of here. Midoriko's spell that trapped us in here is only meant for good. No killing, evil, etc.' Sesshoumaru thought angrily.
'*Sigh* So much for day one. They're not even going to town yet!" thought Midoriko to herself. 'What do I have to do to get these two together? Hmmm....'
-End Chapter
-Ending Credits:
Megan: *Pervertedly* Hi....
Kagome: Oh DO shutup! You're worse than InuYasha!
InuYasha: Hehe *quietly*
Megan: *Glares at InuYasha* SIT!!!!!
InuYasha: *THUD!!!!!* Owwww, what the fuck was that for, wench?!?!?!
Megan: Because you're being mean and disrespectful!
InuYasha: You're not an old hag so I don't see why I have to pay you any type of respect!
Megan: SIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
InuYasha: *THUD!!!! **InuYasha-shaped crater** * *Mutters a million curse words*
Sesshoumaru: Now, now dear brother. Mind your manners in front of women. You don't want to be sat again, do you? *tauntingly*
InuYasha: *Sarcastically* Sure, why not? I just love eating dirt!
Megan: You do? Here, have some more!
InuYasha: O_O'
Megan: SIT, SIT, SIT, SIT, SIT, SIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
InuYasha: *THUD, THUD, THUD, THUD, THUD, THUD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!* Owwww....
Megan: You said you loved dirt and you got it!
Everybody: Moron......
Youkai-Kagome: Check in next time for the antics of Inu and Company!