Brianna couldn't believe it, for one. She and her mother had never had one of those best friend relationships. That was for one.

Her mother had a thing with change. She was always trying to change herself, like she was trying to run away from herself. If she changed the outside, she could change the inside. Her mother was always so angry…like she always had a cloud hanging over her head. Brianna didn't know why. It was pretty hard to talk to her.

She and her mother had never looked alike. Her mother was always bleached, tanned, highlighted, and chalked up with makeup. When Brianna was little she had found a picture of a person who could almost be her mother. She had red hair and ivory skin with blue eyes. She was naturally beautiful. Brianna had stolen the picture. There had been so much light in that picture. Her mother had been truly happy.

Last night she'd taken out that picture. There was a note on the back that Brianna had never even been able to look at before.

To Lydi, my favorite sister and best friend. I guess you didn't think this would be a glamour shot, right? Well it wasn't supposed to be, but you were just too pretty for the camera!!! Happy Birthday! Love, Addison.

The date had been about 10 years before.

Brianna had understood. Whatever had happened between them…it couldn't have been enough to send her mother over the edge. The sisters seemed to share a bond that was very strong. So what had really happened? She didn't know.

That night, Addison had been the one to come home late. Derek was eating take-out in the kitchen…if you wanted to call that little box of space a kitchen.

Addison sat down on the bed and began to take off her shoes.

"Hey," Derek greeted her.

"Hey," Addison sighed.

"How was it today? That was some wild party they threw down there," Derek started.

Addison murmured in reply.

"So is that why I have these strange photos of you on my phone?" Derek asked.

Addison laughed. "Yeah…that was kind of a 'what the hell' kind of moment. And I really like that song."

"It's a good song."

"Yeah, it is."

"Addison?"

"Yes?"

"Do you think that we're happy?"

Normally, Addison would have looked at him like he was crazy and try to see what he really meant by this strange comment, but she was tired and a quarter of the way asleep.

"I don't know."

"Seriously?"

"Seriously."

"What are we going to do about this?"

"I honestly don't know, Derek. You're my husband and I love you."

Derek finished throwing things away and lay down on the bed next to her. He was exhausted too.

"But you're not happy."

"I don't know."

"You're my wife and I love you," Derek said. "I'm not happy. I wish I was."

"I miss this the most."

"What?"

"I miss being able to talk to you. We could always talk, remember?"

"I do. I miss how I could tell you everything. We always listened. We were good listeners."

"I would give up…everything," Addison said with her eyes closed, "to talk like this again."

"We're talking now."

"That's because we're both half-asleep. Basically, we're drunk and we're going to have a fuzzy picture of this tomorrow when we wake up."

"What if we weren't married? What if we were just Derek and Addison, friends like back home?"

"We could talk for hours."

"About anything," Derek said.

"What's going to happen to us?" Addison asked. She rolled over (that took a LOT of energy) until she was on her side right next to Derek. She laid her head right next to his shoulder.

"I don't know."

Addison sighed sadly.

"All I know is that – no matter what – if we stay together or we get a divorce, or I get run over by a moose or something – "

"There are no moose in Seattle."

"Okay…what if we were at the zoo and one got loose?"

"Why would we be at the zoo?"

"Working at Seattle Grace, are you seriously asking yourself why there is a rational reason for us to be anywhere?"

"Shut up. My brain's running at about…44 right now."

"Fine. As I was saying…no matter what, you'll always be my Addi. You'll always be part of my family. You know, we can talk anytime. We don't have to be married to talk."

Addison raised her head up (which felt like it weighed a million pounds) and laid it on his shoulder. "I'd rather be your wife and best friend," she said. "But somehow I know that if we were friends, I'd rather be your friend than your wife. I always want us to be friends."

"I miss being happy, but I feel like I'd rather have this. It's here for a reason."

"I know. I don't want to think of a reason. I just want to sleep."

"We always sleep. We never deal with our problems."

"You're completely right. We wait for the alarm clock – the big, bad event to wake us up when it's almost if not already too late."

"You know you're late, so you feel a little uneasy and guilty while you sleep."

"But you almost forget it after a while. Right? Sleeping is wrong, but it feels good when you're so tired."

"We got tired of fighting."

"Why were we fighting?"

"We weren't happy."

"Meredith Grey, Brianna, and their little friends are going to help me reunite with Lydia."

"I hope that goes well. Can I meet Lydia?"

"If she'll ever look at me again."

"You didn't do anything wrong."

"She didn't either. Somehow I know that. She didn't want to hate me. We were best friends."

"I don't want to hate you. I understand."

"I'm glad. It was our family that split us up. I don't know why she thought I could have betrayed her."

"I hope she understands. I think she still loves you. Disowning you probably made her feel horrible. But she did it because she thought that you were a different person. People have probably been letting her down her whole life. I bet she trusted them too."

"Do you think our marriage prevents us from being friends?"

"I don't know."

"I'm tired."

"Me too."

"Can you turn off the lights?"

"You do it."

"But I've already moved twice," she whined. "You haven't moved at all."

"Fine," Derek said. He picked up his head (OW), and flipped the switch.

"Thank you. That's better," said Addison.

Derek kissed the top of her head and smoothed her hair. "Good night, Addi. I hope that one day we can be happy. And I hope we can be friends."

"Me too. But right now, let's just sleep. Good night, Derek. When we wake up, the problems will still be there."

"At least we have this moment now."

"Good night, Derek. I love you, even if it's only friend-love."

"I love you too. And all that other stuff you said."