CHAPTER 12: THE CHALLENGE OF CARING

When Severus appeared in the darkened manor Voldemort had set up as his latest home base, he was met by more than a few shocked faces. He was expecting Lucius Malfoy to glide into the picture at any moment and slyly tease him about his unfortunate situation, but thankfully, Lucius was locked up in Azkaban for his attack on the Department of Mysteries last summer.

"Snape!" an annoyingly familiar voice called from down the hallway, and Severus looked disgustedly as Wormtail came waddling along to meet him.

"Yes, what is it?" Severus asked nonchalantly, brushing off his robes.

"The Dark Lord wishes to see you immediately," the chubby servant whispered, wringing his hands in anxiety.

Severus nodded and followed Wormtail back up the hall to a shadowy doorway, where the Dark Lord was seated in a large armchair, his pet snake, Nagini, wrapped around one of the wooden legs.

"Ah, yes, Severus, come here," Voldemort said in a snake-like voice, beckoning the Potion's Master forward with a long finger.

Severus threw himself at the Dark Lord's feet, kissing the hem of his black robes and keeping his face to the ground, his large nose barely grazing the pristine tile floors.

"Severus, I have heard some most disturbing news," Voldemort said in a low voice. "It has come to my attention that earlier this evening you attacked one of your compatriots in London."

"My Lord, please, allow me to explain –"

"Oh, yes, please do!" Voldemort yelled, his voice echoing off the high ceilings.

"Dumbledore had recently instructed me to keep a keen watch over Miss Cimmerii. I could not allow her father to kill her without Dumbledore losing confidence in me. In my opinion, I believed that retaining my position as your spy inside Hogwarts was more important," Severus explained, keeping his voice as unfaltering as possible. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Alistair step out of the shadows and stand loyally at his master's side.

Severus felt a sharp kick to his ribcage and was sent reeling along the floor, wincing in pain. He heard the Dark Lord rise from his chair and shout, "Crucio!"

Pain worse than anything he had ever endured tore through his body, and he let out a sharp cry as his body bucked against the black marble tiles. He was always prepared for the moment when Voldemort would see through his lies, would see him for the traitor he was, and send a jet of green death shooting in his direction. But he was not as prepared for this, and he cursed himself between screams for foolishly believing that he was above such forms of punishment. The last time the Dark Lord had performed the Cruciatus Curse on Severus, it had been when he was young, foolhardy, and impulsive. Funny, it seemed. His impulsive actions to save the woman he loved had landed him in the same position.

And then, like that, it was over. He rolled over on his side and patted himself down, making sure he was still alive and not just dreaming. He winced as he tried to move; the repercussions of jolting on the hard floors had caused their own pains all over his body. Glancing between Alistair and Voldemort, he wiped his mind clean of any traces of Morgana, and then looked back at the floor.

"I trust you have learned your lesson, Severus," the snake-like voice hissed. Shocked, Severus looked up and gawked at the Dark Lord, who continued, "Never, never attack a fellow follower again, or you will pay with your life."

"Yes, Master," Severus whispered, bowing his head in respect.

"My Lord, on the matter of my daughter," Alistair began, glaring evilly at Severus, "I believe she has become more of a threat to us now than she was when she was younger. She should be taken care of immediately."

Voldemort seated himself again and rested his chin on his clasped hands. A horrid gleam appeared in his eyes as he nodded, and began to laugh. "Yes, yes indeed, Alistair!" he exclaimed. "And who better to exterminate the traitor than you, Snape!"

Severus cringed and nodded his head, slowly and methodically. "I will do what you request, Master," he said quietly.

He could hear the rustle of fabric, and felt icy fingers wrap themselves over his jaw, pulling his head up to look into the face of Lord Voldemort. Two terrifying red eyes peered into his own onyx ones, as a frightening grin spread across his white face. "I want her body in this hall by week's end, Severus. If you fail, she will watch you die."

He stared defiantly into his master's face and nodded again, unable to speak for fear of expressing some excuse for being inadequate for the job. He buried all his feelings of hatred and anger under a sea of calm and feigned excitement for a chance to prove his loyalty.

Voldemort stood up and made his way to a darkened doorway at the back of the room, beckoning Alistair to follow him. "Get out of my sight, Severus. I do not want to see you again until you have fulfilled your duty," he hissed, and like a snake he slithered out of the room, gone from sight.

Severus stood on shaky legs and, with a final glare to Wormtail, Apparated back to Hogwarts.

As soon as he reappeared, he bolted through the gates and tore up the hill towards the school. A painful stitch began to pull at his stomach, and he collapsed onto the lawn, retching from the pain and the horror of what he had to do. He kneeled on the ground, lightheaded, wishing that there was some way for them both to escape the cruelness of fate. This was all he fault, he reasoned. If he hadn't leapt to her rescue, then none of this would have happened, and Morgana's life wouldn't be threatened. His life wouldn't be threatened either.

"Severus," a soothing voice said quietly from in front of him.

The younger man looked up to see the placid blue eyes of Albus Dumbledore staring sympathetically at him. A wrinkled hand extended out to help him up, and when he was standing, patted him paternally on the shoulder.

"What happened?" he asked as they began to walk slowly to the castle.

"Forgive me, Headmaster. I was foolish and impulsive when I decided to come to Morgana's aid last night. And now…" Severus shook his head and closed his eyes, unable to explain.

"He's ordered you to kill her, hasn't he," Dumbledore said gravely.

Snape nodded, a sickly look twisting his face. "There's no way to fake it, sir. He wants her body in the manor by week's end."

"Or the both of you will be killed, and sadly, we cannot risk losing you," the older man said sadly as the wooden doors opened to the entrance hall. The two men walked silently up the staircase to the headmaster's office, where Dumbledore poured each of them a glass of brandy and Severus sank down into one of the plush chairs in front of the headmaster's desk.

"So we condemn her to death, then?" he asked weakly, swirling his drink around the glass.

Dumbledore gave Severus another grave look. "What else is there we can do?"