Chapter Thirty-Five: Give it time

Fiyero slipped his arm around her waist possessively as they walked home. "How'd it go?"

She looked at him, trying to be angry, trying to be forgiving, wondering if she had any right to be mad that he had shown up. He didn't know that people were intimidated; he couldn't have helped it. Looking up at his face, she hated that she couldn't find the resentment to be angry with him. Instead, she leaned into him a little and replied, "Fine."

"That's good. Any aspiring pupils?"

"Yeah. That little girl you saw, Drienna."

"Where is her mother?"

"What do you mean?" Elphaba cocked her head.

"Well, her mother should've been the one to pick her up. The women take care of the children."

Elphaba wrenched out of his grasp. "That's a bit sexist…"

"I didn't say it was right," he coaxed gently.

"Well, it's not! I'll teach that, too."

"You sure plan on making a lot of changes. Don't you think it's better you do one thing at a time, Fae?" He was not much put off by her pulling away; he simply took her hand and intertwined their fingers.

She nodded. "True."

"So, where is her mother?" He pressed.

"I think she's dead." Elphaba said softly.

"How?"

"I don't know! I certainly wasn't going to ask the poor child!"

"Didn't you ask her father?"

"He'd only been there about a minute before you came in and scared them all away."

"What?" Fiyero stopped and looked at her.

"Fiyero, your status," she corrected herself, "our status threatens them. They're not used to seeing royalty outside of the castle, I guess. I'd just barely gotten them used to me, and then you walk in, the Crown Prince himself. The next closest thing to the king. How often does your father go out and talk to the people?"

"Not enough. I was actually thinking about that. How can one be a good ruler when one barely associates with his people?"

She smiled, thanking Oz she didn't have to tell him everything that was wrong. He saw right from wrong that same way that she did, even if he wasn't as passionate about it. Reaching up to wrap her arms around his neck, she kissed him. "That's a good question. Talk to your father about it. Now, come on."

They started walking again and he stole an arm around her waist once more. She didn't protest, tamed for the moment, and hummed to herself. Near the doors of the castle, he cut her off with a very deep kiss. "Fae," he grinned at her.

She laughed lightly but denied him, taking a step back. "I know what you're thinking. After dinner. I want to get a few things done right now, okay?"

"How about you get those things done after dinner?"

"No. Because then I'll be too exhausted," she replied with raised eyebrows. "I'm sorry. I'm going to head into the study for a bit, okay?"

"I'll come with. I've got nothing better to do until dinner, anyway."

She rolled her eyes but allowed him to follow her. Curling up in a chair and examining the children's drawings, she took notes on a small pad of paper that she'd taken attendance and ages with. When she got halfway through, to the spot she'd stuffed Drienna's drawing, she found it difficult to concentrate. It wasn't that Fiyero was staring at her. After her life, Oz only knew she was used to being stared at. It was the way Fiyero was staring at her. She glanced up from her papers and glared at him.

"What?"

"I can't get anything done when you look at me like you expect me to entertain you."

"I don't."

"It feels like you do, with the way you're looking at me." She tossed Drienna's drawing to him. "Here, look. This is how I know that pitiable girl has no mother."

Fiyero studied it for a moment. "So her father's a widow."

"It would seem that way, yes. Why?"

Fiyero shrugged. "I don't know."

She looked at him suspiciously, both amused and worried by what she saw in his eyes. It worried her even more that she couldn't quite read it. Elphaba always felt that she knew him inside and out, that everything that he was and felt was out in the open between them. For a moment, she wasn't quite sure. Taking a quick breath, she meant to ask what was wrong, but she jumped as the dinner bell rang. She really would need to find a better way to do her work without letting him distract her. Perhaps she shouldn't allow him to come for her so early. It would be much less distracting to do her work in the schoolhouse instead.

She didn't mention that at dinner, for it was a private matter. And she'd meant to mention it the minute they were alone, but he kissed her and she started having trouble remembering what she'd wanted to speak with him about. Still, through being gently placed on the bed and undressed, she'd searched her mind relentlessly. But when a hand slipped down and pushed between her thighs, she lost concentration, knowing that there was no use in trying to remember for the time being, anyway.

Later, Fiyero held her and kissed the drops of sweat from her neck, shoulders and breasts. She felt her eyes drooping and she didn't bother to fight it. It had been so nice, as it always was, and she couldn't even remember that she'd wanted to say something beforehand. With what she'd intended to be a last, loving glance into his eyes before falling asleep, she kissed his nose and whispered, "I love you," as she rolled over to drift off.

He hugged her warmly and buried his face in her hair, pressing his lips against the back of her neck, causing her to giggle. Such sweet, intimate little moments sometimes made her day. Breathing her in, he murmured in return, "I love you, too, Fae." He chuckled softly. "Sometimes I love you so much I can't keep myself away from you."

Why'd he have to go and say that now? She'd forgotten she'd been slightly irritated about his behavior. It was looking to be such a peaceful, sweet night, too. Then again, most of their nights were. She sat up, looking away from him; she couldn't deal with his eyes.

"Fae?" He put a hand on her shoulder and sat up, too, trying to look at her face. "What is it?"

"You have to," she answered.

"Fae?"

"You have to learn to keep yourself away from me more, Fiyero." Her words were turning colder. "It's not that I don't want to be with you, you're just… I didn't get anything done tonight, Fiyero. I almost had someone else to talk to. But you got in the way."

"In the way? Fae?"

"I want time… by myself. I need it. Please, just don't come to find me unless I've been gone two hours past the time when the school day would've ended. I can't get work done when I'm near you, Fiyero. I'll spend every other moment of my time with you, love, but you've got to give me this much."

He bit his lip and removed his hand from her shoulder. "Okay," he muttered, turning away to fall asleep.

She didn't say anything, she just watched him until he realized that he needed to be holding her to fall asleep. Ten minutes later, he sat up and saw that she was still sitting as she had been when he'd turned away. His eyes bore into hers and she wanted to cry for him. "Yero…"

"Shhh," he kissed her mouth lightly. "I don't want to hear anymore. I'm sorry. You still love me, right?"

She fell back in the bed and dragged him down with her, "Oh, of course I do! How can you doubt it? I just need time, only a little time each day. And I also need time to sleep, like now."

He smiled hesitantly and wrapped his arms around her again, wondering again if he was losing her. The thought made him nervous and he held her closer, sleeping only when he'd tuned his breaths to be the same as hers.

When she woke, she didn't push him off of the bed right away, or move to get up. Yes, she needed time, but there was nothing that compared to the feeling of waking up in his arms. Nothing.