AN: You Fiyeraba crazies are NOT going to like this. But I promise this story stays Fiyeraba. I promised you no non-Fiyeraba sex, and I kept that. And please don't stop reading this, because it is still Fiyeraba, because the love feelings are completely Fiyeraba, and I promise nothing awfully bad is going to happen. I know this was awful enough… just endure… for me?

Puts on virtual bullet-proof vest, idea of elphabareincarnated

Silently thanks elphabareincarnated, IAmTheWitch and CFK for their help on the past two chapters, IAmTheWitch specifically for this one, especially. Thank you for not shooting me when I told you this idea...

one more thanks to elphabathedelirious42, for random entertainment, though I didn't share much with you, you cracked me up and joined my forum

Chapter Forty-Four: Actions Speak Louder Than Words

Elphaba was fuming. She'd been so angry that she'd accidentally ripped her dress on her way out of the Palace and had to hide out in the study until she heard Fiyero leave their room so she could change without him bothering her. Now she wore a simple skirt and blouse, wondering when she'd have the time to fix the dress. The servants can do it, can't they? But she'd always been one to do things for herself. However, she suspected if she didn't fix it and the servants found it while cleaning up, they'd take it upon themselves to fix it anyway. It was almost disturbing the way they'd been trained.

And it was disturbing the way everyone was around here. Day after day, she realized how low these people seemed to think they were compared to "Crown Prince Fiyero". Right. Put one of them alone in a room with a bed and food for two days and tell them to sleep for at least eight hours of the time, and then do the same to Fiyero. Fiyero couldn't even sleep without her! It was the most pathetic, irritatingly unmanly, clingy thing he did. Well, maybe not… most things he did fit into all of those categories.

The day did not go well, either. Apparently, one of the children had mentioned to his mother that they called her Miss Elphie, and the mother had been horrified, sternly reminding the boy that she was royalty and nicknames were inappropriate in such circumstances. This morning, the little boy, only meaning well, she understood, had told several of his friends, as well. So Elphaba spent the entire time reiterating that she would rather them call her Miss Elphie than "Princess Elphaba" or "Crown Prince Fiyero's Wife". It made her sick.

At the very end of the day, Drienna came up to her shyly and asked to talk to her. She'd said her father wasn't sure if he wanted her to be in school for the whole summer, and could Miss Elphie please talk to him, because she knew her father would listen to what Miss Elphie said? Elphaba had only nodded and sent the little girl back to her seat with a hopeful smile. Kalendrio must be out of his mind, to keep this little girl from what she wanted!

So, as she had promised, when Drienna hopped home from school with Herndon and Liana, ready to play what sounded like the Vinkus version of cops and robbers, "Royal Guards and Thieves," Elphaba explained to Kalendrio that she thought it would be best for Drienna to be in school, even through the summer, especially considering it was what the little girl really wished to do. It seemed like he agreed. Her mind was still on other matters, though.

"Are you all right?" He asked, the conversation about Drienna over and not seeing the concern leave Elphaba's face.

It was an hour after school already, she knew. The thought made her grimace. Fiyero would be there within an hour. She didn't want to deal with him, not today. Sighing, she turned to her friend and said, "The usual."

"What did Prince Fiyero do this time?"

"I can't even explain this one. He brought up something I'd said, once upon a time, and said he was sorry I hadn't really meant it, that I didn't really love him as much as I'd claimed to."

Kalendrio winced sympathetically. "Ouch."

"It doesn't hurt me so much as bother me. I know he's just trying to send me on another guilt trip, but it makes me angry that he's still doing it. I should know better, thinking he'd stop. We'd had a nice talk, and then he just had to say that this morning." Elphaba clenched her fists, battling remnants of rage.

Kalendrio couldn't help himself; she looked too disappointed. He put an arm around her shoulders. "Does he know what he said upset you?"

"Yes. Do you think that'll stop him?" Elphaba leaned into him a little, not really thinking, just exasperated. "Nothing will. And the fact that he might be right… no. He's not. He's just being stupid."

"As much as I hate to admit this, men can be stupid sometimes. Okay, a lot."

"Well," she smiled at him, "at least you can admit it."

"I have no problem coming out and saying the truth."

"Which, though it can be bad at times, is probably, the majority of the time, a good thing." Elphaba almost giggled, then.

There was a long pause where the two just looked at each other, Elphaba pleading for something – though Kalendrio had no idea what – and Kalendrio wishing to help. When neither of them broke the silence, he leaned in and kissed her.

It wasn't as deep a kiss as the first time; he knew not to push it. But she wanted to push it, suddenly. She was hurt; she was angry; she needed some way to release and work off everything that was building, and she saw no way out. Pushing thoughts out of her mind, she wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him back anxiously. The trick was not to think about it.

He wasn't sure what he'd expected, but he knew what he'd hoped for, and this was it. She was climbing closer to him, pulling at him. Why was he so lost? He'd known what he wanted, shouldn't he have been prepared to take it? Running a hand through her hair, he slipped the other between them and started unbuttoning the buttons at the top of her blouse just enough to slip his hand inside.

She couldn't think. She wouldn't. Silently, she pulled him up off the chairs and led him over to the desk, which she could just lay down on. When he joined her, cautiously holding himself above her by the elbows, she kissed him again, just as fiercely. This was easy, so why should she have to think?

Eagerly, he hiked her skirt up above her thighs, still kissing her, wanting what he hadn't been able to have and wanting it quickly. He tugged at her underwear; the kiss was maddening.

Outside, it hadn't even begun to get dark; summer weather was always light. It was a surprise that neither of them noticed the shadow in the window… well, maybe not, their eyes weren't open half the time, anyway. Fiyero felt ill. He had come in hopes that catching her early would make an apology easier. Well, it seemed there would be no apology. For him, there wouldn't be anything more. He should burst in, scream, demand, snap, hit… but he couldn't. There wasn't anything left. Barely motivated to move, he turned away only because he couldn't bear to see. The Palace loomed in the direction he now faced, and he decided he might as well go home, for this last time.

She just wanted to get this over with, get this done, before she started thinking again. Breaking the kiss, she looked up at Kalendrio as she reached to help him remove his trousers. But something in his eyes changed.

"Wait," he said, breathless. "We can't do it like this. It's too rushed, not enough time to savor this. I don't want to do this when we're both still half-clothed, at least."

She nodded, but shoved his hand away when he tried to help her unzip her skirt or remove her blouse. "I'll do me, you do you, okay?" Scrambling off the desk and to her feet, she marveled at her behavior. No, she wasn't supposed to think! She tried to concentrate on her clothes: the blouse, which had popped at the bottom button, the skirt, the zipper of which was stuck.

"Elphaba?"

She turned to him, shaking her head. He was already undressed. She knew he'd offer to help, but she didn't want him removing her clothes. It was odd, she thought. She was never this way with… oh, shit.

Fiyero. What in Oz was she thinking? Oh, that's right, she hadn't been thinking. But… if she rejected Kalendrio now, what about Drienna? What about the friendship? But – wait… what about her marriage?

"I…" She collapsed against the desk, quickly buttoning her blouse again. "I can't do this. I'm sorry, Kalen."

He blinked, but didn't protest. Slowly, he began gathering his clothing and dressing again. "I shouldn't have…"

"No, I was asking for it. I shouldn't have. Neither of us should have." When she knew both of them were completely respectable-looking again, she stepped near him and took his hands. "I know you think you care for me like that, Kalen. You think you love me. But I love my husband, and I'm sorry. And you… you don't really love me, either. You love me because I remind you of your wife. It's so obvious, Kalendrio. You've made so many allusions to our similarities and I realize you don't really love me. You love that I'm like her. And I don't really love you, I'm just… stupid…"

Clumsily and awkwardly, Kalendrio hugged her. "No. You're not stupid, you're upset. I'm not blaming you for this."

"You won't completely not show up after school? You won't forget that we're friends? You won't make Drienna quit?"

The helplessness in her eyes was pitiful and he realized the motives she'd had for doing what she'd just done. "No. It'll be a little weird," he tried to reason, "but I'm not going to give up our talks, okay?"

She nodded, taking a deep breath. Looking around the room after a long time of standing there, letting him hold her, she murmured, "I think that clock is wrong." Gently, she pulled away from him and looked out the window. She gulped, and when she turned back to Kalendrio her eyes were full of panic. "It's been two hours and fifteen minutes. He's never this late."

Now it seemed like a very far walk back to the Palace. "I could walk you back…"

"Oh, how my husband would love that," she rolled her eyes. But was her husband even looking or caring anymore? Elphaba, the most independent creature in the entirety of the Vinkus, possibly all of Oz, was not very keen on walking home by herself that moment. "But I think that would be a good idea."

He hugged her at the Palace gate after they'd strolled in silence. "I'm sorry."

"No." She looked beaten, and frightened. "I am." She watched him turn around and head back towards the village. "I couldn't be more sorry."

Little did she know that in a few moments, she would be eating her words.

AN: Don't shoot me? See, she goes back! She stops him! She realizes she loves Fiyero! It's still Fiyeraba!

For those of you Fiyeraba/Wicked lovers, come to my site, the link in my profile, I made a nice little thread in the Fanfiction section for Fiyeraba Complexes, lol! We can have a club!

If I don't get shot, that is...