"Oh...so, anyway, we're here to get you out." said Naruto.

"No, Naruto...we're here to move her to a decent bedroom," deadpanned Shino.

"Aww...can't we rescue her! We always used to rescue people!"

"...We?" It had taken Beauty a while, but she realized that the clock had been wearing tiny sunglasses this whole time, and his...er...friend, had big blues eyes and little markings below them. As the Naruto pleaded, a noise of creaking wheels interrupted their one-sided argument.

"What's going on?" said a voice, as smooth and cold as ice. A reddish teapot on a tray rolled it, and aquamarine eyes rimmed dark, dark, dark peered at the trio.

"Gaara ♥!" said a pleased Naruto. The eyes shifted to Naruto.

"Naruto, aren't we supposed to be moving her?"

"But Gaara! I wanna rescue her!" Naruto whined. The teapot closed it's eyes contemplatively.

"Naruto. We have to keep her here. Remember? Because if we don't..."

"OH," said Naruto, eyes huge and round. "You're so smart Gaa-chan! Hey, hey! This is Gaara. He's my best friend!"

"Gaara...of the Tea." Gaara looked upset at this introduction. Naruto scooted over once more to Beauty.

"Poor thing. He used to be Sabaku no Gaara, but ever since the change..." Shino was unlocking the doors now, and Beauty began to get herself up. She felt a little wobbly and definitely a little sick. Naruto gave encouraging words and useless advice all the way down, Shino and Gaara silent. She had to hold on to the railings of the tower stairs. When they finally left that part of the castle, Beauty breathed in deeply. The high stone ceilings caught her attention, their carvings beautiful and old. Mahogany stairways and furniture, red silk rugs. The strangest thing was that wolfs or dogs seemed to be everywhere. Clawed tables, pictures of dogs, wolf gargoyles. Beauty remembered the claw that had snatched her, and wondered a little of what her kidnapper had looked like. Clearly, he wasn't letting her go.

♥ ♥ ♥

"Here you are...I'm sorry for all of this." said Shino, very kindly and politely. Beauty could not resist patting him and the rest of these little moving objects on the head. She went into the room they had pointed at, and saw that it was very similar to the rest of the house. Only an odd blonde-colored wardrobe stood out from the dark wood of the other furniture. She tiptoed past it, and went quickly into the adjacent bathroom. She had been dying to use the toilet for over an hour now and just as she was about to sit...

"HEY! Even though I'm a toilet, I don't want to see your butt!" shouted...the toilet. Beauty quickly jumped up and looked below her. She pulled up her skirts quickly.

"I-I'm sorry..." she said, looking at the pink-rimmed seat.

"I'm so sure...you know, just because I was the chamber maid, doesn't mean I have to be the chamber pot!"

"She didn't mean it, I'm sure..." said a voice near the reading materials.

"Who's there?" Beauty asked. This new voice was definitely male, in contrast to the toilet's which had been female.

"I'm the orange book over here..." Beauty went to pick it up, it was a very bright shade. She turned it over, and mismatched eyes peered back at her. "Don't mind Sakura..." it said, tone bored and listless."She's just upset these days, because Sasuke is a fan for the fire and she hasn't seen him in such a long time."

"OH SASUKE! I STILL LOVE YOU!" the toilet hollered, it's flush being it's version of crying, or so Beauty assumed.

"Who are you?" she asked the book. "And what are you?"

"I'm Hatake Kakashi. I'm my favorite book in the whoooooole world. Icha Icha Paradise!"

"H-he's...he's just a dirty novel!" screamed Sakura the toilet through her tears. Beauty was taken aback.

"Why does this...castle have dirty novels?"

"Well...the master and I used to read them..."

"YOU WHAT!" shouted Beauty. Only she would have been abducted by a monster that read smutty literature.

♥ ♥ ♥

Naruto © Masashi Kishimoto

Notes for the Reader
• This is a slightly promotional fanfiction for my other fanfiction, Dream.
• Please review!